A figure takes the stage, tonight is was requests she took for songs and she had her line up ready. Another day, another dollar for a good reason. The dress she wore was a long red strapless that flowed down to the ground. She had gotten use to doing this two or three times a week now it no longer bothered her, and the nerves were that but not like the use to be. Holding the mic she waits as the band starts to play, continuing to wait for her intro. Slowly the words come as her voice becomes stronger....
Oh where oh were could my baby be
The lord took him away from me
He's gone to heaven so I've got to be good
So I can see my baby when I'll leave this world
We were out on on the road, I was in my car
We hadn't driven very far
There in the road Straight ahead
A car was stalled the engine was dead
I couldn't stop So I swerved to the right
I'll never forget the sound that night
The screamin tires
The busting glass
The Painfull scream that I heard last.
Continuing to hold Kyle close Alice musters a little chuckle though it hurts a little bit. Everything felt like it was spinning at the moment, her own eyes wanted to close but she couldn't let them. She could have a concussion, sleeping would be bad, not only that she had to be awake for Kyle.
"Yeah. Once we will go once we get a chance. Take a break and get to a fair or even an amusement park. We..will have a great time."
Oh where oh were could my baby be
The lord took him away from me
He's gone to heaven so I've got to be good
So I can see my baby when I'll leave this world
When I woke up The rain was pouring down
There were people standing all around
Something warm falling into my eyes
But some how I found my baby that night
I lifted his head He looked at me and said
Hold me darling just alittle while
I held him close I kissed him our last kiss
I found the love I knew I had missed
but now he's gone even though I hold him tight
I lost my love, my life that night
"You gotta hold on Kyle...ok..."
Alice breaks in a shart breath as she runs a hand through Kyle's hair. His words sinking into her and a tear forms in her eye. Please God, Don't take him from me too.
"I'm not going to leave Kyle, I promise. I am going to be right here for you, I always will when you call my name."
Choking on her words and playing Kyle's words in her head it was almost like one love had finally die, was let go, and now a new worm feeling was entering her heart only to once again maybe be lost.
"I love you to Kyle hang in there for me ok? Don't you leave me too."
Oh where oh were could my baby be
The lord took him away from me
He's gone to heaven so I've got to be good
So I can see my baby when I leave this world
ooooooooooooooooo
oooooo
oooooooooo
ooooooooooooo
Leaning her head down onto Kyle's matted wet hair Alice dosnt care she just wanted to be close to Kyle. To feel him and let him feel her. As the parametric comes over and shines the light on them Alice closes her eyes a little, the light was bright and her eyes were glossy reflecting the light.
"No..No its just us. I...I don't, please just worry about him first. He needs more help than me. Please don't let him die."
Alice's body felt cold, as the tingles continues through her body but she didn't know what hurt more her body or her heart.
OOOOOOO
OOOOOOO
OOOO
OOOOO
OOOOO
OOOOOOOOO
...As the music slowly dies away the voice slowly dies as well, as the melody becomes softer and softer. Finally the song was over, and the crowd cheered enjoy the voice the heard, enjoying the song. Slowly giving a wave and a big smile the figure moves off the stage.
Moving slowly beside her brother Rosetta rests her hand on Jeff's shoulder keeping her brother calm. She hurt, and felt bad for Katie Rosetta new she would take it hard.
"Katie has always kept to herself when she is upset. Since she was a little girl. I am sure she had already found someplace to hide. I don't know what to do for her Jeff."
Looking over at her brother she new he felt bad, though she couldnt see as deep as Katie could she could still read people well and new her brother hated seeing Katie like this too.
"I'll have Mick go look for her if she doesn't come back in an hour to lunch ok? It will be ok Jeff."
Running past Trent Katie doesn't even stop she aimed for the barn. As a child this was her hideaway so no one could find her when she was upset and with any luck no one new about it yet.
Opening the door the tears still streamed from Katie's eyes as her head pounded. Sipping past most of the ranch hands so she wasn't seen Katie makes her way all the way to the back. Moving some bords Katie pulls a ladder down and climes up moving a few more boards to open a room in the roof.
Climbing up and moving the boreds back in place Katie crawls across the floor before standing. Looking around the room she was thankful no one had found her hideaway. Paint splatterd the walls, and string objects hung from the ceiling. A few posters lined the wall and a arm chair was in on corner. Making her way over to the chair Katie sinks down in it curling up. Continuing to try and mind darted from one thing to the next as her mind couldnt land on anything.
Why did this have to happen to her? It never settled down, from one thing to the next it never seemed to end and it almost felt like she was losing everyone, and the light at the end of the tunnel was moving farther away.
9/8/09
Oh Where Oh Where
Paramedics
"Katie, wait-" Jeff stands abruptly, bumping the table and sending his glass of juice all over the place. Giving a little growl of frustration, he sprints after his niece. Reaching the doorway though, his body just doesn't want to give any more. He doubles over, feeling the same wave of pain and sickness that was making him weaker by the day.
Unable to follow after Katie, he slams a fist into the doorframe. "Dang it!" He was still trying to deal with this whole thing himself... to come to terms with the fact that he was dying. How could he even try to be there for his niece? It wasn't fair.
Tears spring into his eyes as for the first time with this whole thing, he feels absolutely helpless.
Straightening up, he tries to maintain his composure in front of his sister. "Somebody should find her. She shouldn't be alone like this."
Trent is just on his way from his bunk to the dining hall. He usually went a little earlier than everybody else, so he could slip away sooner. But as he walks, he's almost run into by Katie.
"Whoa, Katie? What..." He stops his route and looks at her in bewilderment.
Kyle's eyes are half closed as he fights to stay conscious for Alice. Something resembling a laugh comes out. "Yeah, we... we sure caused quite a scene, didn't we?"
Starting to shiver, he moves in closer to Alice, fighting the strange cold numbness he felt all over. "I wanna go again... to the ferris wheel." He lifts his hand, and twirls his finger as if he can see the ride just in the distance.
Swallowing hard, he licks some blood from his lip again. "Stay with me, Alice," he mumbles. "Don't... leave yet. Too much... other... to live..." He pats her leg. "I love ya."
His head slides down to her shoulder as his shivering worsens. "I don't wanna go to work... I'm so... tired..."
Suddenly, more lights are on the scene and several paramedics scramble from two ambulances. Two slide down the ditch towards the bus, while others tend to the other vehicles and the semi that had somehow wound up on the other side of the road.
"Down here!" someone shouts. "We got a bus full. Bring a stretcher!"
"How many?!"
"Call for the helicopter!"
A paramedic appears near Alice's jeep, spotting her and Kyle on the ground. He kneels by them quickly, shining a light on them. Seeing Kyle's eyes closed, he directs his questions to Alice. "Where are you two injured, ma'am? Are there any more people in this car?"
Something deeper
Looking into her Uncles eyes Katie blinks as her own eyes start to tear a little. This couldnt happen, not to Jeff. When Katie needed shelter he was there, when Katie needed strength he was there. If he was gone, than that was another person who went out of Katie's life.
"No..."
Katie backs away from Jeff just a little, looking from Rosetta than back to Jeff.
"...You...You have to go back. Rick has to look harder, he needs to try hard there is a cure. You, you cant give up...You cant just roll over and die! You have to go back Uncle Jeff...You have to go back now."
Tears sprang into Katie's eyes that she couldn't control. All the tearm oil inside of her bubbled as her stomach churned, and her own sick feeling rose.
Watching her niece Rosetta's heart broke, for Katie, for herself, and for Jeff. Everything happened so fast. Stepping a little closer to Katie Rosetta set her hand on her arm.
"Katie you got to calm down, your going to make youself sick."
Looking at her aunt Katie pulls her arm away from Rosett and shakes her head.
"You have to tell him to go back Aunt Rosetta..."
"Katie...home is where Jeff belong to be with the ones he loves...to.."
"NO! He's your own brother and your going to let him stay here and die, You...NO!"
Turning from Rosetta and Jeff Katie sprints from the dinning hall and down the steps the pounding of her feet matching the pounding of her heart. Where Katie was going she didnt know, she just wanted to get away. She had to get away. Another person was sleeping through her fingers that she could of saved.
Crawling out of the jeep Alice hurt all over as she moved next to Kyle. Seeing a few of Kyle's own wounds Alice wraps her arms around him trying to put pressure where it looked like he was bleeding.
"I'm...alive. Its going to be ok Kyle."
Alice could hear the sirens in the distince. Help was on the way, the just had to hang in there.
"Keep talking to me Kyle...lets keep letting eachother know we are ok. The paramedics are almost here I can see the....lights."
Giving a shakes from the cold Alice held Kyle closer as she gave a painful chuckle.
"Remember when we went on the fairs wheel? That was great fun, I thought they were going to yell at us so bad though."
Thinking for a long moment as she looks over the menu Sapphire doesn't answer Gage right away. She mulled over his words for a long moment. Gage was differnt from most people she new, and though he'd done some bad things she could see something deeper even if it was hidden. He wasnted to at least try and change and that in itself ment alot.
"Because, you are my friend Gage. I do care, and sometimes friendship dosnt always make sense but its something you cant stop."
Leaning back in the chair for a moment Sapphire's eyes meet Gages.
"I've always been a little on the nerdy strange side. Not many people like to be around me, because I am differnt and have many strangs quirks. I guess I am an out case. But your differnt Gage, you like talking to me and I enjoy having someone to spend time with you. So helping you out, being your friend it helps me out too. You've done same bad things in your life Gage, but so have I. No one can stand saying they haven't. And maybe I can see something deep in you, but there is no turning back now."
One of these days
Alice's voice brings Kyle reassurance that she was alive, but knowing she was caught, his adrenaline continues to surge through his veins.
Still on all fours, he makes it to the jeep, squinting to try to make everything out. "Hang on... I'm coming." Crawling to the windshield, he uses his already-bleeding elbow to break out the rest of the glass.
Reaching inside, he wipes his eye again before fumbling with Alice's seatbelt. He felt like the world was upside down and spinning, but knew he had to be upright since gravity was pulling him in that direction.
Finally he hears a click. "I got it... careful..." He tries his best to guide Alice out through the windshield. Once he knows she's clear, he collapses by the upturned hood of the jeep. Sitting with his head leaning back, he gives a little moan. "I feel..." He squints at Alice. "...numb." It was as if his brain was slowing down little by little, and each thought felt a little more lethargic than the last. "...and cold."
It was just as well that he couldn't see the blood on his clothes. "The others... we have to find... Blake. Are you... are you... okay?"
Gage plays with a packet of sweetener, not looking up when Sapphire joins him. Still waiting for someone to come take their order though, he finally breaks the silence.
"How come you keep saying I'm your friend? I don't understand."
Looking up, he gazes into her eyes. His look held so many things. Someone just meeting him now would think him to be very passive and shy. And maybe that was partly true now. But there was blood on his hands. He knew how to torture people. He knew how to hunt people and fight and kill. There was a look in his eye that spoke of a man with a much heavier past that simply being sheltered. He might not know much about living in society yet, but he had baggage unlike a normal person.
"With everything that happened... I don't understand why you want to be with someone like me. I mean I know you've told me you care and all that, and want to help but... friendship... that's... that's more than wanting to help me."
Jeff gives Katie a hug, still sitting, and giving her the best smile he can. Receiving her question, he shakes his head, then motions for her to sit next to him. "No... no, I came home so I could be where I love."
Taking a deep breath, he looks at his niece with seriousness, though still tries to be light about the whole thing. "I, um... just wanted to be with family again. Rick sent along some medication for me to help keep the symptoms at bay but..."
He swallows hard and reaches over to take Katie's hand. "It, um... we think it's something from the Agency and... it's aggressive. And... I'm getting worse. But there is no cure."
Another faint smile surfaces. "One of these days, I'm finally going to be better for good. That's... why I wanted to come home. So I'd get a chance to see everybody again."
9/7/09
Stuck
Opening her eyes slowly Alice trys to remember what happened and why her head was killing her. The last thing she remembered was going to text Kyle as she watched the pillow fight through the back window.
Than looking up from her phone she saw the bus swerve, heard the sick sounds her jeep swerved, and than everything went black before anything more could be done.
Bringing a hand to her head Alice's fingers felt a little numb as she felt her a warm blood on her forehead. She hurt all over and felt a little tingly but as for as she could tell nothing was broken she didn't think.
Hearing Kyle's voice Alice can feel her nerves churn in hope that Kyle, and everyone else were ok. She hadnt even thought about that till now. Trying to unfacen her seatbelt Alice cant.
"Kyle, my seat belt is stuck. I cant get out."
Turning her head and streching her neck to try and see out the shattered windshield Alice just wanted to see Kyle to know he was really ok with her own two eyes even if things were a little blurry.
Continuing to smile at Camryn Sapphire dosent miss a beat as Gage walks away.
"Thats my buddy Gage. He's a good friend of mine."
Turning to give Gage a nod and smile as he finds a table to let him know she will be right there. Returning her attachen to back Camryn once again she nods.
"I'm doing pretty good. Looking forward to the cooler weather thats on its way."
Letting out a smaall sigh Sapphire looks to Jason and gives a small smile.
"Well I better get going it was nice seeing you again Camryn. Jason I will see you back at work."
Giving a wave Sapphire turns and heads to the table where Gage waited.
Entering the dinning hall Katie lets her feet drag a little. It had been a long morning and Katie just wanted the day to end already. Drawing close to one of the table Katie gives a jump as she hears Jeffs voice not exspecting him to be there.
Looking up and seeing Jeff Katie gives a smile as a more energy enters her step. Going over to him she pulls him into a hug.
"Uncle Jeff, your back."
Smiling and pulling away Katie looks into his eyes.
"Does this mean Rick found out what was wrong?"
Accident
Jason looks up quickly, a look of surprise crossing his face. "Sapphire..."
Camryn smiles, her eyes bright. "Hi! Long time no see." She cocks her head and shrugs. "I'm alright. Just catching up on old times. I'm back in the area for a while again."
Jason can feel a little bit of heat in his face. He wasn't suer why. It didn't matter that he was here with Camryn. He just hadn't expected to see anybody else that was all.
Camryn glances to Gage. "And this is...?"
"Gage," Jason answers her. "He's..." Well, what was he? A friend? From TJY? A ward? A... what?"
Gage gives Jason a knowing look and finishes his sentence for him. "...going to look for a table." He'd rather not try and figure ouot how to be introduced today. The most he deserved was to be called an enemy. He shifts his gaze to give Sapphire a sidelong glance before slipping away, a few tables down.
Camryn seems a little confused by the odd behavior, but she says nothing. "And you?" She asks Sapphire. "How are you?"
Jeff takes his glass of juice and eases down at one of the tables, feeling a lot more tired than he should from his short trip. "Yeah," he muses. "Katie's big heart is why everybody loves her... and it's why she gets hurt too. I guess it goes both ways."
Taking a sip from his glass, he closes his eyes a moment, letting a wave of nausea and pain pass. He needed to go find Katie. He wasn't looking forward to having to explain himself multiple times on the way though, with as many people as he'd probably meet while trying to find her.
Luck is with him though, and the door opens, revealing Katie coming in before lunchtime. Waiting until she was closer, Jeff looks up from the table, letting a smile spread. "Hey, Kiddo."
Kyle had been on the bus for the last hour as the team had a meeting on their way to their next stopover. It was a little past dark, and they would have supper when they stopped. It was a good thing - the whole team was hungry after barely having time for lunch after their morning event. On to the next town to try and get some sleep before the next day's event.
Kyle shifts back in his seat, closing his eyes. He had wanted to ride with Alice on this last leg, but he knew Jordan wouldn't let him get away with missing the meeting.
Receiving a pillow in the face from Chloe, rest is forgotten, and a pillow fight ensues, sending laughter throughout the bus. The only one unable to join in was Jordan, behind the wheel.
As they head down the interstate, the bus slows slightly to take a curve. Beside them was a semi, trying to pass. Jordan frowns, grumbling to himself about the driver not giving him enough room.
What happens next was too fast for anyone to remember until much later. Three cars ahead, a tire is blown. The car goes out of control, swerving as the brakes are hit. Another car manages to swerve around them, but the next slams into it head-on. Jordan slams on the brakes. The truck beside them, however, tries to turn, the driver paying no attention to who was beside them. A sickening crack comes next as the bus is jostled violently to the side. The impact causes the bus to turn at a sharp angle, onto the shoulder of the road. Momentum does the rest, and the bus is suddenly no longer on its wheels.
Everything inside the bus is turned inside out as the vehicle tips onto its side, skidding off the shoulder and into the deep ditch. Taking the angle, the large bus carries enough motion to roll. Over and over and over, it finally stops in a steaming heap against a tree.
Silence.
Darkness.
Kyle swallows hard, feeling something wet trickle down the side of his face. His head hurt. He felt like he was upside down. Wait... he was. Something heavy was on top of him, his leg twisted at an odd angle. He doesn't try to move yet. Licking his lip, he tastes blood. "Chloe?" he calls, his voice raspy. "Blake?"
A small crash answers him as someone moves and sends some broken contents of the bus scattering further into the darkness. Someone groans.
Jordan is hanging from his seatbelt, a gash in his temple. His leg felt funny. "Myla?" he mumbles. "Myla??"
"Help..." Shawn's voice feebly comes from somewhere in the back. "I... I'm pinned."
Chloe's muffled cries echo in the darkness. "Kyle?" Her voice quivers with fright. "Anybody?"
Kyle finally tries to move, sliding out from under the heavy object that had been on top of him. "I'm here..." He stops to catch his breath. He suddenly realizes that he's by a window. It's above him... the bus must be on its side. A strong elbow thrust and the glass shatters, sending cool night air rushing inside.
Feeling a hand on his leg, he looks down, squinting at Chloe's lethargic form. "Come on... you alright?"
"I... I think so."
"Here." Kyle tries to help her up, gently lifting her through the new hole and out of the bus. He tries to see more in the darkness. "Is everybody okay?" he calls.
Jordan, Shawn, Hunter and Heath all manage to answer, though from the sounds of it, not all were okay. Jordan tries to call to his wife again, but once more he receives no response. Blake was unheard from as well.
"I can't move," Shawn cries again.
Boxes tumble down as Hunter rights himself from where he'd landed. He hurt all over, but at least he could move. "I'm coming, buddy, hang on." He moves towards the back.
Kyle crawls towards the front of the bus, glass cutting into his palms and knees. Fumbling in the dark, he finds Jordan's seatbelt and releases him. Jordan tries not to fall, his leg landing against something soft. "Myla? Oh no... Myla..." Groping in the next seat over, he finds his wife.
Kyle grits his teeth. "Is she alive?"
"I... I don't know... yes... yes, she's breathing." Jordan finds what's left of the seatbelt to free his wife. "We have to move her."
"We need to call for help first."
"I have to get her out of here!"
"Jordan, listen to me!" Kyle speaks sternly to his friend. "You move her, and you could cause more damage. Wait for the paramedics."
"Kyle heads back the other way, searching blindly for Blake, who still had not made any sound. He sees Hunter helping Shawn up and out of the bus, and Heath is close behind, seeming to be the most mobile of anyone at this point.
Suddenly, Kyle remembers Alice. She hadn't been that far behind the bus. Finding another broken window, he crawls outside. Already, he could hear sirens in the distance. Squinting, he blinks back some blood. He knew his body was going into mild shock when he realizes that nothing hurts anymore. Stumbling halfway up the ditch embankment, he tries to see Alice's jeep. God, please don't let her have been in the accident too. "Alice?! ...Alice??" His foot slips and he sinks into the cold grass. He shivers, only now realizing that he's strangely cold.
His eyes then spot the familiar jeep, turned on its side above the ditch. "Alice!"
Continuing up the slope, he forces his body to move, though it feels like he's fighting gravity every step of the way. Disoriented, he winds up crawling the rest of the way to the jeep, trying to see into the windshield. Lights were everywhere. The sirens were nearing. He heard people shouting. He wipes more blood from his eye so he could see. "Alice?!"
Back in town
Looking up at Gage as Sapphire hears the soft tap on the door she gives a a smile. Knowing the Gage wasn't feeling to well Sapphire wouldn't stay out to long so he could come back. She just wanted to at least get him out for a little bit.
Standing Sapphire smile and gives a nod making her way to the exit. Slowing her speed a little to match Gage's so she doesn't walk away without him.
"I was going to Mom and Pop's but I thought maybe a bit of a scene change would be good so instead there is a Cafe across town I like as well I though we could go to."
Pulling away from her brother again Rosetta gives a soft nod. She hurt, she ached for her brother but right now being sad in front of him would not help. She had to strong as long as she could until she was alone, or with Mick to let her tears come.
"Apple juice, that I can do. I just did some shopping the other day so your in luck. You get the first glass out of the container too."
Turning to the fridge Rosetta reaches in for the apple juice and than for a glass, calling over her shoulder.
"Katie has been having a pretty hard time. I think she will be happy to see you though. Your right to it would probably be best if you told her, not that if you didn't she wouldn't be able to tell. Sometimes I think she can see right through people when I wish she wouldn't do she wouldn't get hurt."
Turning back around Rosetta hands Jeff the glass of juice. She was worryed about her neice but knows she had to work through it on her own. Until she wanted help there would be no point in offering.
Pulling up outside of the small restraint Sapphire turns the car off and gives a small smile to Gage before exiting the car. It had been a quiet ride here, and Sapphire did most of the talking but she trying to at least keep the conversation enjoyable for him.
Stepping up on the sidewalk Sapphire takes a moment turning waiting for Gage before continuing on into the restraint making sure to keep him close not knowing how busy it was. She her eyes rome the room for a place to sit they fall on to familure figures on the other side of the room. A smile spreads on her face. Turning to Gage again she gives a smile and points.
"Lets go say Hi to Jason, and his friend Camryn first before we sit ok? I promise it wont be long."
Making her way over to the small table with Gage, Sapphire dosnt even really think it strange that Jason was with Camryn. Who he spent him with with was non of her business.
"Hey Hotshot, Hey Camryn I didnt know you were back in town. How ya been?"
Lost love
After Sapphire leaves, Gage just sits for the longest time before finally sliding off the bed. He'd said yes, just because it was Sapphire, and he knew he'd been disappointing her the last few days. And she was being so nice... he still wasn't sure why she cared, especially enough to bring new things for him like this. He fingers the new sneakers. Why?
Sighing, he gathers up some of the new things and goes down the hall to the bathroom, his feet dragging just a little.
Twenty minutes later, he's coming back down toward the main floor, his eyes down. But he had his new clothes and shoes on and had cleaned up as suggested.
Avoiding contact with anybody else, he makes his way to Sapphire's cubicle. He knocks on the wall, shifting his weight awkwardly. Even if he were feeling well, he still felt funny with this odd new freedom he had. "I'm... ready to go."
Jeff doesn't hinder Rosetta from another hug, but rather returns the embrace again and kissing the top of her head to try and reassure her.
Giving her a grateful smile, he shakes his head a little. "Actually... just some apple juice would do, if we've got any. I... can't handle much else at the moment." He'd been nauseas ever since getting up that morning and it hadn't gone away even after he'd gotten sick on the short plane ride.
Glancing around the room, his eyes roam the emptiness before landing on his sister again. "Sometime I... I need to see Katie. I know it's not a good time for her but... I've always tried to be honest with her and I don't want to stop now."
The cafe was quiet, but business was picking up over the lunch hour. The back corner remained relatively private though.
Camryn smiles, studying Jason's face from across the table. "How have you been?"
Jason gives a slight chuckle and looks down, shrugging. "Good I guess. Can't complain."
"Still chasing bad guys, I assume."
"Yeah... you know it's in my blood. What about you?"
"Oh, I'm alright. I, um... had a rough bout there with my parents, but we've worked through our differences. Now I'm back here after hooking a job at the newspaper."
"Writer?"
"Go-fer."
Jason laughs. "And you came back for that?"
"No." Camryn grins and shakes her head. "That will pay my rent. I came back because I missed it here."
Interrupted by the waitress, their conversation is put on hold until Camryn strikes it up again. She glances down to see Jason's still-empty left hand. "So... you find that special someone yet to keep your happy?"
Jason's face reddens just a little. He knew the topic would come up, but it was still awkward. It had been so long. He really had loved Camryn. She'd made him laugh... she'd given him energy.... she'd been there for him at some pretty confusing times. He'd wanted to spend the rest of his life with her... to always have her energy and always have her enthusiasm right by his side. That's what he'd wanted then...
"I think so." He rolls his eyes at his response and grins. "Yeah... yeah I think I have. Just... been a little rough lately."
Camryn cocks her head. "Katie?" The look in Jason's eye gave her the answer, and she smiles again. "You know.... even when I thought I would be your wife, it was hard to think of you and Katie not together."
There was so much Jason didn't understand. So many questions. He finally lets himself look Camryn in the eye, searching for answers. Had he truly been in love with her? Had he truly wanted to spend the rest of his life with her? Had he truly wanted her to be the one? At the time... yes. But... he knew now that it had only been because he didn't think he could have the one he'd wanted in the first place. And even now, as he looked into Camryn's eyes... the eyes he had loved... he knew that they would always be second choice. Maybe things with Katie weren't great... but.....
Camryn reads his face, and gives a gentle nod. "I know..." She could still read him so well. "I was just thinking the other day about how sometimes we don't see beyond what we think we want... and how later, we can look back and wonder how we ever could have wanted it."
Jason knows what she means. And he couldn't have put it better. "I was foolish."
"So was I." Camryn sighs. "I guess that's kind of why I wanted to talk with you... so I could apologize."
"For leaving?"
"No. For letting you fall in love with me in the first place."
Jason sits back, not sure he understands.
Camryn continues. "Maybe it could have worked between us. I'm sure we could have made it work somehow. But... I think you and I both know now that it wasn't meant to be. I was desperate for love... I was desperate for attention, and you were the one I picked." She gives him a quirky grin. "But even though some good might have come from it, and even though you returned some feelings, I realize now that I was filling a void in my life with the wrong thing. I thought that falling in love and getting married would fix my life and make my problems go away. But I was wrong."
She pauses, the emotions coming out through her tone. "I loved you, Jase... I really did, and I would have followed you anywhere. But if I had... I would have missed out on a whole new chunk of life I experienced and grown from... and... knowing now that feelings have faded... I would hate to think that they would have faded after we'd made a lasting commitment. We wouldn't have been happy."
Jason takes a deep breath, letting it out slowly. It was hard going over all of this, so suddenly, just when they first saw each other again. But maybe it was good. "I loved you too," he admits. "But I think you're right. Maybe we were too hasty. Maybe I was searching for the wrong things too."
"I think God wanted us to do some growing up," Camryn concludes. "I think He had two totally different plans for us. While I think He used our relationship for good, and He would have blessed a marriage, I think there's brighter horizons for both of us... they're just on two different ends of the world." She reaches out to pat Jason's arm, faint tears forming behind her eyes. "Sometimes making decisions based on the heart's emotion is okay... and sometimes it's simply hiding the truth underneath that there has to be more than a mutual attraction to make life work."
Jason purses his lips and finally nods. "Yeah... I guess I always wondered what would have been."
"We could spend the rest of our lives wondering 'what if,' Jase. But wouldn't it be nicer to think about what will be?"
Jason's eyes return to hers. "And what will be?"
Camryn's smile spreads slowly, the tears still glistening in her eyes. "What will be is a friendship between us that's healthy enough we can wave at each other as we pass on the street. Maybe we'll even socialize sometime. But you'll be with the one you really love... and I'll find mine one of these days... But he'll be someone who will add to my life... not fill the holes that I needed to let God fill."
Jason just sits for several long moments, letting silence reign as his thoughts wander. "You know... for the first time, I think I understand. God's been working in my life too... and every day I see how far I've come, and how much further I have yet to go. He's given me a lot of people to keep me in line... and I think you're one of them."
Camryn chuckles. "It sounds good to hear you talk about God in your life... it really does."
"I'll agree with that."
So much more could be rehashed. So much more could be talked through again to dissect every little aspect. But no more needed to be said. Both were at peace. Both had scars that would still remain in their hearts, but they had long-since healed over, allowing them to move on, as once again, love became a memory. The had laughed, they had loved... and now they had grown. With new eyes came new perspectives and new sight, revealing that sometimes plans that don't work the way one wants are actually blessings in disguise. It was good they had parted. And it was good that they could talk about it now without the pain.
"So." Camryn straightens up, taking on a perkier tone. "How's JetStream? I want to hear all about it, and I want to know all the gossip about everybody and how everything has been going."
Jason laughs, the awkwardness having melted away. "Everything?"
"Everything."
Cure
Giving a smile and a nod Sapphire's eyes light up. It would be nice to have someone to eat with today, and she hoped it would do some good for Gage to get out and see the sun light even if it felt like he didn't want to.
I just wanted
Seeing the new things, Gage's eyebrows lift just a little. Then hearing Sapphire, he cocks his head, studying her. His eyes move about her face, landing on her gaze for several seconds. He felt terrible. He wanted to just curl up back under the covers and pretend that morning had never come. But... he found it hard to resist Sapphire.
He reaches out to investigate her gifts and finally looks back up at her. "Thank you." Thinking another few moments, his eyes still seem so lifeless, but he nods. "Okay. I'll... I'll each lunch with you."
Jeff hugs Rosetta tight, almost unwilling to let her go again. Receiving her questions, he forces his smile to remain as his hands slide down her arms to find her fingers. He gives her palms a little squeeze. "Yeah... yeah, I'm back for good."
Lookign down a moment, he glances back up at her eyes. He couldn't lie to her. "It's um... Rick's not sure but... it's aggressive and..." He stops, his voice almost cracking, but he manages to stay strong. "I... I don't know how long I've got, Rosetta. I just... wanted to be home."
9/6/09
Real
Giving a knock to make sure Gage was up Sapphire enters the small room. She had come into late a little later today but she had to pick up a few things she wanted to bring in for Gage. Entering the room and setting them down on the bed the brown paper bag contained of a few shaving items, some new cloths, a tooth brush and toothpaste, new sneakers. She new he had a few things already but it was always getting new things.
Attention
Looking to Nate, Jason hesitates, having to stay focused for a moment before responding. He knew Nate had seen Camryn and wasn't really sure if he needed to say anything or not. He decides not to. "Um, thanks... and yeah... yeah, I think we're going out for pizza."
He gives Nate's arm a good-natured pat before turning around to help with loading up. He'd just as soon not get into a conversation that would lead back to Camryn at this point.
Carson receives Misty, putting his arm around her too. "Well I'm not ready yet," he teases. Ignoring the fact that they weren't alone, he yanks her closer to him, putting her in a rough hold. Grinning, he leans in and puts his lips to hers, giving her a good long, passionate kiss to cover for the whole day they'd been apart.
Rick throws up his arms, rolling his eyes. "Even when you don't work here, you still have to go and make a scene, don't you?" No response. "Carson.... Carson!" Seeing that Carson was totally ignoring him, Rick groans and turns around to get back to his work. "Get out of here, you two, before I throw you out. And Carson, go home at a decent time!"
Having let the kiss linger longer just for the sake of teasing Rick, Carson's laughter finally breaks the exchange. His eyes twinkle with mischief as he gives Misty's lips another peck. "I guess that's our cue to get out of here. I guess I'm ready now."
Gage doesn't react much to Sapphire's company. He was used to it by now. It takes him a long time to respond. He seemed to do that a lot... as if he mulled over every word a person said before speaking himself. Many times during the last few weeks, people had thought he hadn't heard them the first time and they would repeat themselves. Gage never corrected them. He always simply answered after he'd completely formulated his own words, no matter how long it took. And tonight, it seemed to take him even longer.
Sapphire's touch makes his eyes snap up to hers. Though they interacted frequently now, someone's touch still startled him. He doesn't draw back though.
"I hope so."
Turning his palm up, he looks down at their hands and slowly curls his fingers around hers as if testing to see what it felt like. His thumb slides down one of her fingers and he swallows hard. "Goodnight, Sapphire." Slowly, he lets go of her hand, signaling that this short visit was over. He would see her tomorrow.
And tomorrow did come...
Jason parks his truck outside the Curbside Cafe and slides out, gingerly stretching his sore leg. He eyes the crutches in the back seat, and decides to ignore them.
Taking a look around, he's unsure if Camryn is here yet or not. It had been a long morning at work, thinking about his lunch plans. He'd told no one. On one side, he felt guilty, and on another side, it seemed logical enough. Besides, it wasn't like there was anything more to this meeting than just saying hi to an old friend... right?
Jason takes in a deep breath and heads inside. Once his eyes adjust to the lighting, he sees someone wave from the back corner. A small smile emerges and he aims to the table Camryn had been sitting at for fifteen minutes already.
The dining hall was quiet. While the barns and corrals were busy with activity on this gorgeous day, the ranch's buildings remained fairly still.
Slowly, the lone figure steps up onto the porch, making his way inside. His stride seems heavy, his shoulders seeming to carry an invisible burden. But looking around and spotting Rosetta in the kitchen, his eyes try to spark and a grin toys with his mouth.
Making his way across the floor, he's finally in the kitchen doorway. "Gonna make me find my own welcome around here or what?" Jeff's smile spreads. "What's a guy gotta do to get a little attention anyway?"
Pizza
Making his way to the back Nate hangs up the phone with Laura turning the corner just in time to see Camryn walking away. Standing still for a moment Nate wasn't sure what was going on or what to think. Con had asked him to find Jason, and just coming around to see Camryn was a little bit of a shock.
Keep an eye on him
The night at the concert goes well. Despite a rough start, all the pieces fall into place by the time Jason, Mike and Phil take the stage. Axel is present to help Jen run sound, though hadn't been able to help much with setting up. Rocky is there too, and even Taylor came about halfway through.
Jason's performance is as good as ever, the crowd loving him. Only to those closest to him would it be obvious that he had slipped on a mask that he is so very good at doing. He smiled like always, joked with Phil and his voice rang true and clear. By the time the concert was coming to a close, the crowd was disappointed it was over already. But the band promised they'd be playing again soon.
Once the audience is starting to file out, JetStream starts taking things down. Jason wanders backstage for a few minutes to catch his breath. He sets his guitar down and grabs a new water bottle to take a good long drink. With the band milling around, starting to pack up, he didn't think much of feeling someone behind him.
"You still sound good."
Jason almost spits out his water before he whirls around. He can't help the look of shock that crosses his face. "Camryn?"
A smile slowly spreads. Her eyes still sparkle with the same energy she used to have, but something is different. Perhaps she was just a little more subdued. "Hey, Hotshot."
Jason isn't even sure what to say or how he's supposed to react. He keeps a hold on his water bottle, so his hands remain busy. "What, um... what are you doing here? I mean... I didn't know you were in town."
"I just got in last night," Camryn admits. She tucks her hands in her jeans pockets. "Heard JetStream had a show, so... I guess I couldn't resist."
"Wow." Jason tries to get over his surprise. Mixed emotions surface. "This is um..."
"Awkward, I know." Camryn gives a light laugh. "I'm sorry. But I didn't think it would be right for me to come without at least saying hi."
Jason finally offers her a small smile. "Naw, it's okay. I mean... yeah, this is awkward." He runs a hand through his hair a bit nervously. "You, um... you look good."
"Well, thanks." Camryn looks down at herself for a moment, then back up. Her hair wasn't quite as wild... her clothes weren't quite as rebellious. She stood a little straighter, her demeanor perhaps a little more mature. "You look good yourself." She cocks her head, just studying his eyes. "You've changed."
Jason laughs. "After two minutes, you know that?"
"You think I would have forgotten you?" Camryn shakes her head slowly. "No, Jason Stevenson, maybe I made some mistakes, but I still remember you... and I'd say you're a bit more wise."
Jason swallows hard and looks down for a moment before coming back up to meet her eyes. "Looks like you are too."
Camryn is quiet for several seconds, the noise of other people invading their halfway-private conversation. "You gonna be free sometime tomorrow?"
Jason quirks an eyebrow. "Depends on what I'd be free for."
Camryn laughs. "I just thought maybe we could sit and talk or something. Maybe over a cup of coffee. Or are you still into orange juice?"
Jason can't help a little laugh of his own. "It's about half and half now I'd say. Um..." His mind races. What did Camryn want? She didn't appear to want anything more than a friendly chat. There wasn't anything wrong with that, was there? Though there was nothing between them now, he couldn't ignore how close they'd been at one time. He at least owed her the chance to say whatever it was she wanted to say. The thought of Katie crosses his mind. She'd understand, wouldn't she?
Camryn reads his hesitation, and grows a little more solemn. "I just feel like there's a few things I need to say... I know it's been a long time, but... I just thought... I could use a few minutes one-on-one... if it's okay with you. I... I don't want to make you uncomfortable."
Jason fidgets with his water bottle. He wasn't sure he'd ever seen her so subdued. He was uncomfortable... but something made him want to go anyway. His eyes leave her for a moment to glance back out to the floor where he could see people like Nate and Con. He wondered if they knew Camryn was here. Even if they did, what did it matter? "Okay. How about lunch tomorrow? I'll have an hour."
Camryn grins. "Where?"
"Um..." Mom and Pop's was the first thing that came to mind but... maybe that wasn't such a good idea. "There's that little cafe down by the strip mall... I can't remember what it's called."
"I know the place." Camryn nods. "I'll be there... noon?"
"Yeah." Jason's gaze follows her as she walks away, and for a moment is left standing numbly.
Carson wanders into the infirmary, knocking on the door. He'd come after closing up Mom and Pop's a little early to see Misty and follow her back to her place for the evening. Seeing Rick he gives a wave. "Hey, Rick."
"Carson."
"How's it going?"
Rick shrugs. "Oh... it's going."
Carson chuckles and glances down to where Misty was, throwing her a smile to let her know he'd wait for her. He turns his attention back to Rick. "I haven't heard much about your... shall we say, Agency wards."
"You mean Alec and Gage?"
Carson nods.
Rick sighs. "Well, Alec seems to have calmed down a little bit, but he reminds me too much of you." He smirks. "I'm not sure what it'll take to straighten out that attitude, but they're not sending him to jail."
Carson moves on quickly, not really wanting to talk about his brother. "And Gage?"
"Mmm..." Rick thinks a moment. "Quiet. Especially the last few days. He hasn't even wanted to go out with Sapphire anymore, though I know she's tried. He just seems withdrawn all of a sudden.... not sure why. Reese just thinks he's starting to want to go back, but I don't think that's it."
"Has Alec gotten to him?"
"No... they've been separated this whole time. I think Reese has found a secure place for Gage though, but I don't know about Alec."
Carson thinks a moment, solemn as he's been distracted from waiting for Misty. "Rick... keep a close eye on Gage."
Rick quirks an eyebrow. "Well he's got freedom around here at the moment. I mean, so far he's been fine and-"
"That's not what I mean. Remember right after I came here?" Carson looks at him with seriousness. "When I realized I was so messed up? Gage has been taught that helping kill people was fine. Now he's here where he's learned it's not. What do you think that's doing to him up here?" He taps his head.
Rick is quiet for a moment. "You think... he'd be that desperate to hurt himself?"
"I don't know. But if he's gotten that withdrawn all of a sudden... I wouldn't take it too lightly. Just keep an eye on him. You might want Hope to come back and see him. And you might want to tell Sapphire to be watchful too."
"That's it? You can't go any further?"
Scott shakes his head as he looks at the computer screen, Gunner staring over his shoulder. "No. It's password protected."
"You can't hack around it?"
"I've already hacked more than I should have!" Scott disconnects, and the screen goes blank. "We both could lose our jobs just from the little bit we did here - you know that."
Gunner sighs and folds his arms. "Yeah... I know. I just thought this would be easier."
"Than what?"
"Nothing." Gunner turns around, aiming for the door. "I'll let ya be. See you at work."
"Yeah..." Scott watches him leave, then shakes his head. Why did Gunner want access to someone's hospital records from six months ago? It seemed odd. Oh well... he'd done what he could without breaking too many rules. But if Gunner wanted any more, he'd have to go through the right channels.
Wandering over to the couch, Scott flops down, quickly joined by Domino. It would be a quiet night. Those were the hardest. But he would survive like he always did.
Gage sits curled up in the corner of the spare room on top of the bed. His head rests against the wall, his arms wrapped around his legs. If one would see him, they would believe his mind was a thousand miles away. Maybe it was.
9/5/09
Pulling
Going to go say something Nate stops and gives a sigh. He could see both sides, he could tell both had there own pain.
Turning just a little to see Con Nate shakes his head before looking back to where Jason walked off.
"They are both pulling against each other, one for her pain, and one for his confustion. Sooner or later though someone is going to have to give, or they are going to break."
Turning around to face Con Nate gives a shake as pain was written in his eyes. He hated seeing his friends suffer. And under the layered mask Jason wore Nate could see that pain.
"I dont know what to do eather Con, or say."
Giving a chuckle and a shake of his head Dan takes the hammer and gets back to work with Mick and Katie carrying on lite chatter, and stealing a glance at Katie now and than.
Continuing to work with Mick and Dan Katie moves about with ease, she new her way around the ranch and had been taught well on how to do things.
Babysitter
Seeing the note, Jason's shoulders noticeably drop. He doesn't seem to even hear Nate telling him to do a good job on stage.
"She just can't quit worrying about me, can she?" He shakes his head a little, his tone more tired than upset. "Does she think I can't take care of myself? Does she think I need a babysitter when she's gone?" Wasn't he supposed to be the protector?
Looking down, he sets his hands on his hips. "Thanks Nate, just... keep it in the background, alright? And don't tell Rick I didn't use my crutches all night. I don't need him breathing down my neck too."
Sighing, he turns and heads for the stage, favoring his injured leg.
"I don't know what to do for him anymore." Con had shown up, only now coming around the corner, speaking to Nate. "Reese has got it in for him, he's got it in for himself... and him and Katie... I just don't know."
Note
Giving Jason a smile and a handshake Nate nods. He'd would of come to the consert anyways, but tonight is was for business too and someone had asked him to come. Giving a glance around before his eyes come back to Jason again.
"I wouldn't miss a concert for my life, but tonight I am here on business too."
Nate holds up a small peace of paper for Jason.
Nate,
I'm gonna be gone for a little bit, and I hate to leave Jason without his lookout. Mind doing that for me for a little while? Keep him safe for me ok? -Katie
"I guess even with out the emotions she still worrys huh? Do good up there, and don't try anything to crazy we dont need Rick wondering why you weren't on your crutches."
Nate puts the small ear peace in his ear so he could communicate with the band and gives Jason a nod.
Busy
Scott wraps his arms around Hope, holding her close. As she pulls away, he reaches up to tuck some hair behind her ear. "It was the least I could do," he replies quietly.
He leans down to give her lips a soft kiss before straightening again. "I know it won't be the same, but... at least you'll still be able to help people."
Still prepping for the concert, people begin to file in. The band was ready early, so the guys wander around for a bit, passing the time.
Jason hobbles to the side, having ditches his crutches an hour ago. Rick would kill him, but he didn't care. He had a concert to perform. Taking a swig of water, he's met with a flying bottle of orange juice instead. Catching it mid-air, he glance around to find Jen and gives her a smirk. "Thanks."
He switches drinks, though knows that his sugar levels weren't quite as erratic now that his emotions didn't get in the way. Looking around, he wanders down to where he saw a familiar face. "Hey, Nate. Joining the fun?
Seeing Dan return and give the flower to Katie, Mick rolls his eyes and mutters something under his breath about hiring a romeo. He throws Dan a look. "Glad the fence is good down there. That cuts our time down, that is, if we pick up a hammer instead of a flower." He hands Dan a hammer. "Here. Keep your hands busy."
He moves off to the side where they'd brought some wire yesterday with the four-wheelers.
Lone Flower
Giving a smile to Scott as he comes into the hall Hope is quiet for a long moment. Before taking a step forward and pulling Scott into a hug.
"Thank you Scott for convincing Reese to give me a chance."
Pulling away Hope searchs his eyes as her own dance. She was excited about her new job opertunity and ever more excited that Scott had done this for her.
Looking at her Uncle Bree shakes her head continuing to clean everything up.
"He's sure is interesting. I think he's pretty nice too."
Even if he was a bit strange she was a bit strange as well. He seemed nice but something still seemed off. For now it would slide but she would stay on guard.
Shaking her head and giving a smile to her Uncle Katie gives a chuckle holding the bag open to him. Looking up hearing a noise Katie see Dan making his way back over.
"Speak and he will come."
Walking back over to Mick and Katie Dan takes a whip to his face to get ride of the dirt and sweat. It had taken him longer than he wanted but along the way back he had made one stop. Turning to Katie Dan holds out a purple wild flower.
"I saw this one lone flower and it made me think of you. A flower by itself but never truly alone."
Turning back to Mick Dan gives a nod.
"I had to fix a little bit of the fence the staples didn't hold but they should now. Its secure."
Good night
Scott looks up quickly from his desk, a little surprised to see Hope standing there. She looked happy though... it didn't seem like anything was wrong.
"Um, sure." It was a little peculiar she just didn't come out and say whatever it was, but he didn't mimnd.
Getting up from his chair, he wanders out of the office into the quiet hall. A soft smile surfaces as he looks at Hope, tucking his hands in his pockets. "Hi... what's up?"
Gunner tosses a wink at Bree. "Right... I'll see ya." Giving a final nod to JT, he slips outside, making his way to his car.
JT watches him leave and just stands shaking his head for a moment. Shutting the door, he turns back to his niece. "Well that was... fun." He grins and rolls his eyes. "I haven't laugh that hard in a long time. He's something else, isn't he?"
Jason plugs in the chords, sets his guitars up, runs wiring and helps with a quick sound check. Everything seemed to be running smoothly. He was a little on edge... something just didn't feel right tonight but so far so good. Rocky had shown up too to help unload equipment, and Axel was there too, helping set up the sound board as much as he could. Apparently Jess was going to show up too, and Jason knew a few people from TJY were going to come. It was going to be a good night.
Mick smiles as Katie talked. She had a good head on her shoulders. For now, he lets the subject slide away. She had enough to worry about.
"I just needed one of the bags," he answers, dumping his handful of staples into one. "I forgot to bring a bag for these."
He glances over his shoulder, down the line. "What is taking that boy so long?"
Owe Someone
Listing to Mick Katie was thankful for him impute, though she already new in her mind what had to happen before she went back. Before returning to Jason, Katie had to find the woman she once was, and her own wounds had to be healed.
Hope gives a nod to Reese as she stands. She felt over joyed and a bit over whelmed at the moment, but she had to go and thank the one who had helped this along.
"Just call me, and let me know when ever. I think I owe someone my thanks."
Turning Hope heads out of Reese officne and through the TJY follow smiling the whole way. Stopping at a new office and giving a soft knock Hope enters. Seeing Dalton sitting at one deks she gives a smile and nod before looking over to Scott.
"Hey Scott, I was wondering if I could talk to you for a moment?"
Giving a laugh at Gunners story comes to an end Bree hadn't laughed so hard in her life. Finishing off her can of pop she takes in a deep breath trying to control herself. It had been a good last few hours. It was nice to just lose oneself and pig out, even if all you were eating a bunch of toppings warmed up without the crust.
"Actually, I dont mind your company Gunner. Maybe next time I can offer some of my own strange storys and make you laugh equily hard."
Giving a smile and nod to Gunner Bree starts to clean up a few different things that were on the table. Picking up the plates, and napkins before looking at Gunner again.
"I am sure I will see you again. If I dont than your not a true stalker eh?"
Trick
Reese smiles and nods. "Good... and don't thank me." He gives her a knowing look. He knew she was smart enough to figure out who had instigated this. "I think you know who to thank though."
He straightens a little and glances around his desk. "Well... let me do some figuring, talk to Brown and... I will call you to let you know when you'll start. It should be soon."
Gunner gives Bree a sly look. "I like to harass my boss and... I never guess." He takes a sip of coffee, sighing deeply. "I like being on the Elite force. I go around catching bad guys and during downtime doing paperwork. Not exactly the romantic job some people think it is, but... it's what I do."
JT cocks his head. "The Elite huh... You wouldn't happen to know Greg Timble, would you?"
"I know of him." Gunner nods. "Retired right? One of the very first to find out about the Texas gang being mistreated by the Agency."
"That would be him."
"Your uncle, right?"
"For someone who asks a lot of questions, you sure know a lot to begin with."
Gunner's grin slides across his lips. "If you revealed all the cards in your hand before placing your bet, you'd never win a poker game."
Two hours later...
"...and I said, 'Dude, get outta there or you ain't never gonna see another one of them cars!'"
JT laughs so hard at Gunner's story, his eyes start to water as he holds his sides.
Gunner's own face is a bit flushed and his own short laugh escapes, just watching JT laugh. He takes another sip of soda pop, finishing off his second can. Sitting in the living room, the three had been talking and mostly laughing since after they'd polished off the entire pizza. Despite Gunner's dry sense of humor, stories of blundering fugitives cracked JT up, and in turn, made the whole thing very funny.
JT takes a deep breath, wiping his eyes. "Oh... now that is a classic."
"Chris didn't think so."
JT snickers again. "I bet not."
Gunner glances up at the clock, realizing he'd been there much longer than planned. "Well... I guess I better not wear out my welcome." Standing up, he stretches tall. He was far from tired though - he had enough caffeine in him to last three days.
JT stands as well. From what had started out as an awkward evening, had evolved a night of fun. He offers a handshake to Gunner. "Well... come back sometime, Gunner."
"I might just do that." Gunner glances to Bree on the couch. "If your niece doesn't object. She might want the company without the Gunner next time."
Mick keeps his eyes on the wire, pulling out the large staples from the fence posts. He listens quietly, giving a little nod, but not saying much until after he's mulled it over.
"A clear head is something we all need once in a while. Trick is, knowing when it's clear enough to go back." He continues to concentrate on work. "Sometimes the pursuit of a certain feeling holds us back, rather than helping us move forward. We want to reach a specific point in our minds before returning, when it's the actual returning that will help us finally reach our goal."
Holding several old staples in his hand, he nods to the horses. "Would you go grab one of those saddle bags for me?"
