Frustration

"Maggie can you grab the bag of gifts from the back for me?"

As Nate turns around and is bum rushed by Laura he was happy nothing was in his hands being able to wrap them around her.

Pressing his lips to hers it felt like he hadnt kissed them in so long when it had only been a day.

Grabbing the bages from the back seat and than standing up again Maggie's eyes widen just a little bit as she blinks at Nate and Laura have there exchange of a kiss. Quickly covering her eyes with her free hand Maggie starts to walk quickly inside.

"Eeeewww....Nathan, Laura...gross."

Not being able to help the laugh that escaped his lips as Maggie went walking inside the house Nate has to pull back from Laura looking down into her eyes. Something was different he could see it. Maybe just this one day away was what Laura needed.

"Mmm...I missed you so much too."

Nate brings his hand to Laura's face and brush some hair from her face. Sweeping her up into his arms to carry her inside his eyes beamed as he looked at his wife.

"Your going to catch cold out here without a jacket."

Standing to go to the little makeshift stove Faith gives a smile as she drains the noodles. Thinking for a long moment.

"I always wanted to go to school to be a chef. Cooking has always been a passion for as long as I can remember. That, and learning how to ride a horse."

Faith gives him a sidelong glance her eyes twinkling showing that she understood Sparky had been sick and thats why she hadn't learned yet.

"Oh I guess I always wanted to write and paint too, but I think I would always choose cooking and cleaning first. Its a great way to show you care and take out your frustrations at the same time."

Why

Lost. That's the only word Gunner would be able to use to describe how he felt right now. Dalton and Scott had collected some very good information and they had gotten past thick security walls that could be used to get into Crescentview. Yet JT's rebuke kept coming to mind.

Gunner drives down the busy streets, looking this way and that, simply killing time and trying to work through everything that was going through his mind. Music played on the radio but it was far from his concentration.

Every thought, every prayer... they all revolved around Bree. Every time he remembered where she was, he cringed. Every time he dwelt on how many days had passed, his stomach turned to knots. She was his friend... more than a friend. And without her, he was realizing just how much she meant to him...

It was half an hour later, and the church was still and quiet. It was getting dark out, and candles were lit along the inside perimeter. Long pews stretched on each side and intricate woodwork towered above the sanctuary on the high ceiling. Enough line shone to make way for any weary traveler.

Gunner walks... trudges down the carpeted aisle. Stopping before the great stained glass window and alter with candles, he stares up at a statue of Jesus on a cross, alongside his mother Mary. She had such a peaceful expression.

Removing his baseball cap, Gunner lowers to his knees, his eyes still fixed on the quiet figures. He'd been brought to the Catholic church early on after the accident so many years ago. He'd often wondered if there was more, and long talks with Con had proved there was. He didn't always agree with all of the beliefs of this church, and he knew when he prayed, it was to God and no one else. He had been immersed several years ago for different reasons than perhaps some people from this congregation believed. But though he'd been seeking for a family where he felt he fit, here was where he had found peace and so here it was that he came.

God... why? Why did you let this happen? I don't understand. Bree is your child as much as I am... I just don't understand. How can we get to her? Surely you won't let her stay there in misery and let the enemy win. Surely it can't be your will to have us sit back and wait, blind as she suffers.

His eyes search the ornate workings before him that symbolized peace and love offered to all who would accept. His heart ached. But no more words seemed to form in his mind. His spirit was in anguish. All he wanted was an answer... all he wanted was a way.


Jade can't help her smile as she curls her fingers around Dan's. "You're right... and thank you. You may get more than you bargained for and get tired of me hiding behind you all the time."

Her eyes twinkle with mischief. "Or maybe not."

"Heeeey."

Jade swings her head around to the table behind her and smirks before giving Jeff's back a firm whack with her hand.

Jeff's chuckle is heard, though he doesn't turn from his table.

Jade's cheeks are red, but she doesn't care, and looks back to Dan. "We better be careful talking about those hiding places or they won't be secrets anymore."


Sparky's lips upturn at Faith's comment. He was sleepy and his body ached, but she held an air that kept him wanting to stay awake. "All the time, huh?"

He cocks his head, thinking for a long moment and probably further than he should have. But it was a gentle sequence that didn't bring color to his face, despite the context. "You've got the world at your fingertips and all your want to do is cook? Surely there is more in that heart of yours than that."

..............

Laura looks out the window and sees Nate's car, her eyes lighting up. She'd missed not being with him for over twenty-four hours. It just hadn't seemed right. Tossing aside the dish towel, she heads for the door just as Nate is getting out of the car.

Not caring that she didn't have a jacket on in the chilly breeze, she runs pellmell into Nate, wrapping her arms around him and giving a short laugh. Stopping to look up into his eyes, a smile was on her face this time - a genuine smile. "I missed you."

Find me

Coming to sit in the chair that Faith had dubbed her own as the food on the stove cooked she braught her one leg up on top of the other as a half Indian sit.

"Hey, if you get use to it, than that means I can cook for you more.."

Faith gives Sparky as grin as she can feel her own cheeks turn a little red. Once again like before Faith liked being here right now, and even if she got embarrassed she felt comfortable like she had known Sparky all her life.

"I think it would be nice to cook for someone all the time again. Since my mom and dad passed I don't do nearly enough of it anymore."

Sitting at the table with Jade Dan gives a nod with his head as another mouth full of food enters. The meal seemed extra good tonight but maybe that was because Jade, and him had spend the whole day riding in the mountains forgetting about lunch. Whatever it was though Dan was happy to be sitting across from her once again.

" I don't think that makes you a horrible sister at all actually."

Dan pauses for a moment taking a drink of his water collecting his thoughts before speaking again. He didn't know Dylan more than what Jade had told him, and the last thing he wanted to do was say the wrong thing.

"In all honesty I think you just a little scared to have him here. Things haven't always been the greatest with you guys, and you just think it might be the same old song. Its completely normal and there is a difference now too...."

Dan gives a smile as he reachs across the table and takes Jade's hand in his own.

"..You have hide aways and someone who can hide with you to make you smile."

Karla can't help the laugh that escaped her lips as she watched Carol and Kip interact. If she had never been told that they went really mother and son she never would of guessed differently. Just the was Carol seemed to act was so much like a mother you could tell she really did care.

Giving a small shakes of her head and starting to follow Carol Karla grins.

"If I dont get lost forever in this big house. Promise you will come and find me if I do Kip."

Karla sticks out her toung at Kip before continuing to follow Carol.

Conqueror

Sparky finds a spot at the foot of the bed, after shedding his boots, to sit. It was unusual for him to settle down cross-legged, but tonight it just felt comfortable and it was a good vantage point to watch Faith as she prepared supper. Smelling the spaghetti sauce made him wonder if perhaps he was just a little hungrier than he'd thought.

"You know..." His eyebrows rise as he thinks. "I don't know if I remember a time when someone has cooked just for me... let alone twice in the same day. You better be careful or I'm liable to get used to it."


"So... Mom said yes." Jade picks at her supper. It was quiet at their table tonight... Clint and Wendy were spending time at home, Rosetta and BJ were at their house, Luke wasn't able to get around today so Angel was home cooking for the two of them... with those gone, it really put a dent in the socializing.

Jade looks across the table at Dan, sighing. "I guess she finally figured it was better to let Dad have a go with Dylan instead of still trying to do it herself. I know Grandma won't be happy but... she's not happy about a lot of things. I'm just... I don't know... I love my brother, and I was so worried about him, and I just feel terrible about all the stuff he's gotten into, but... having him here... I don't know what to think of that. Am I a terrible sister for feeling like that?"


Kip rolls his eyes and take the book he has to lightly bop Karla over the head. "If I would have minded, I wouldn't have asked! I ask because I want you along, not because I'm so bored I just need to drag someone along."

"If you're ever bored," Carol intervenes, "you realize you've got plenty to cure that."

"Oh yes." Kip nods vigorously. "But today is my day off." He throws Karla a wink. "So I don't have to go out and scrape paint off the tool shed. I can sit in here and read a book instead."

"You do that, and pick a chair this time." Carol shakes her head in amusement before turning back to Karla. "You can come with me and we'll figure out the logistics then you can wander back here to find him before you two run off to Theo's."


"Oh, Hon, that's wonderful!"

"Is it?"

Laura recalls her earlier conversation with Paula. She sits on the guest room bed in the corner with her knees tucked up close and her head resting against the wall. She'd been at the farm all day now, and it had been short and long at the same time. After calling Nate, she'd hemhawed around for about fifteen minutes, and Paula had needed no more time than that to inquire as to what was wrong. A session over a cup of tea had ensued.

"We wanted a family... I think... maybe... just not this soon."

Laura sighs. She was done crying. Crying wouldn't do any good, and it wasn't going to change anything. He mind wanders to Nate. She loved him so much. And thinking about them having a family together did have an appeal. It really was something special. It was the blessing that Laura knew was there, but it was hard to accept anyway.

"But everything is going to change."

"Yes." Paula nodded without hesitation. "It is."

Laura blinked at Paula's lack of reassurance. "But... but I don't want it to."

Paula smiled and reached across the little kitchen table to put a hand to Laura's face. Pride shone in her eyes. "If God waited until you felt a hundred percent ready, would you ever?"

Laura's eyes fell and her cheeks grew warm. With her... probably not. Change was not on her list of things she liked, no matter how big or small.

She stretches a leg out and reaches over to the nightstand where she had set a little teddy bear. She couldn't remember the exact time Nate had given it to her, but she'd packed it before coming here. It wasn't as good as his hug, but it made her feel warm inside as she cuddles it close to put her face down into its fur.

"You're right that everything will change," Paula confirmed. "Laura Gibbs ended when you married Nate. Now Laura Driers the wife is ending and becoming Laura Driers the wife and mother."

"All our plans though... they're all gone."

"Yep. I know you had a couple trips planned and those will have to be set aside. Your career will change. Your relationship with every single person you know will change. With your brother, with your husband, with me, with your friends, with your coworkers. It will be different."

Laura smirked a little and looked down into her cup of tea. "Why can't you tell me I was wrong?"

She had wished she were wrong. There was just so much to think about. Another sigh comes and she lifts her head to look out the window. Just because she hadn't wanted to tell Nate yet didn't mean she didn't miss him.

"Because you're not." Paula chuckled. "Your freedom is gone and you know it. You're not stupid. I had a friend who thought having her first child would change nothing. It was quite a reality check once that baby was born. Her freedom was gone, she couldn't spend time with her friends like she had, and she started to miss the alone time with her husband, too. It was a hard lesson for her, but by the time number two showed up, she'd become a great mom."

She cocked her head and looked at Laura lovingly. "I know you didn't want these changes. I know you want your daily living to stay the same. And I know you didn't want to quit your job. But you know what?" She smiled. "Those things that you are losing won't leave empty holes. Yes... things between you and Nate will change, but you'll have something even greater to bring you closer together. Yes... things will change between you and your friends - your good friends. But you'll still be friends. Yes... things between you and your brother will change, but you'll always be brother and sister. Yes... your job will have to be set aside, but in five or six years, who's to say you can't go back to police work?"

"That's a long time."

"Yes it is. And in the meantime you might get another surprise that will make it even longer. But you can't focus on your losses, Laura. I know it's scary. And I know on a certain level, you're probably disappointed that things have to change now. But God can move mountains and part the sea... He can bring joy to your life too, no matter what changes take place."

No matter what changes. Laura sits up a little straighter and stares down at the teddy bear. She was a conqueror. She always had been. Even if things threw her for a loop and she crumbled in the beginning, in the end, she was a conqueror. She knew that's part of what Nate loved about her. She needed him to keep her safe, yet if he were gone, she would survive.

She thinks about what her job was like when she was out in the field with TJY. There was nothing she wouldn't face. There was nothing she couldn't overcome. She was the tough chick that even Hotshot himself admired. No one knew about her tears at home or when she'd run to Con to fall to pieces behind closed doors.

This really was no different. She'd had her little crying session and had faced the shock. Aunt Paula had helped her think things through and though finding that she hadn't been wrong about all the changes that would happen, she'd been reassured that it wasn't the end. Some things would end, yes. But Laura herself had not ended. This was just a new hurdle to be conquered and with God's help, she could do it.

"What about raising a child and... and making sure it knows God? I mean... wow."

Paula chuckled again. "You're right. It is a 'wow' job. But are you a strong Christian?"

"I try to be."

"Is Nate?"

"Oh, yes."

"With two strong Christian parents, that child will receive all of the instruction it could ever need. And that's the most you can do. The rest is up to God - just like everything else. And when you get scared that your child will take the wrong path, you pray and pray hard. You put your faith in God then pray some more."

Pray. Laura knows that all her strength was in God. Nate was her strong tower when she needed shelter, but when more than a hug was needed, it was always God that saw her through. He would see her through this too. Yes... things would change, and in a very very big way. But there was a flip side. There were things to look forward to and... it was a new adventure.

For the first time since finding out the news, a smile breaks Laura's lips. A flutter goes through her stomach at the thought of telling Nate. She would be excited... for both of them. She would be positive for their family's sake. And slowly, she would conquer this. Now... how on earth would she tell Nate?

Getting up from the bed in a hurry, Laura trots down the hall to the kitchen. "Paula? Can we go do our shopping tonight before Nate and Maggie come in the morning?"

The little teddy bear remains on the bed, recovering from being squeezed. Many things would need to be sacrificed... but God would help all recover... and blessings would follow.

Destination

Going first into the bunch house Faith gives a small laugh. She was happy Sparky was letting her come back to the bunk with him. Not that she didn't like spending time with everyone else it just seemed more fun to be with Sparky.

"Well, I will at least make something even if you don't eat that's alright but than there will be food there incase you do her hungry. It was save you a trip to the dinning hall."

Once Sparky is in and the light turned on Faith gets to work pulling what few items she had put into the fridge out.

In no time on the small gas grill Faith had spaghetti starting to cook. It would take a little bit longer than a stove but the slower it cooked the better it would taste.

Hearing that she wouldn't have to work tonight and could start tomorrow a bit of excitement flashes on Karla's face. She had, had such a blast with Kip before she new there would be no problem doing it again. Just spending time with people was nice too. Alot better than sitting around her cold apartment.

"I"ll go with you than. If you really dont mind that is Kip!"

Karla new that if he had minded Kip wouldn't have asked, but non the less they had to throw that on there anyways.

A little shocked and taken back, but the next perk to her job, getting free food had not been on her list. But to know they would shair there own with her like that was nice. Maybe now she would have less days of going hungry. Everything seemed so unread.

"Yes please. I would like to take the job. Anything is better than nothing not to mention you offer some good perks too."

Looking to Kip Karla throws a smile before looking back to Carol. She couldnt help but be excited about this new adventure.

Sitting at his desk Nate continues to work while listing to Laura on the other line. It was strange to think about how Laura wouldn't be there when he got home. It had been quite a while since they had been apart from each other. It would be a long night, but a better tomorrow when he got to see her again.

"Yeah I have been watching the weather here at work too. Just be carrel and yes please call me when you get there so I know."

Nate didn't want to sound over protective of Laura, he he just wanted to know when his wife got to her destination ok so he didnt have to worry.

"I love you Laura and I will be bright and early tomorrow."

Gentle wave

Sparky quirks an eyebrow as he treads slowly across the ranch yard.
Yes! I would love that. I've enjoyed your company all day and really don't want to go back to my bunk alone. I feel like I haven't talked to you enough, like there's so much more yet to hear. You're fascinating as I listen to all the things I don't yet know about you, but I feel like I've known you for years at the same time. Who needs quiet time and space when they've got someone like you around?
He shakes his head, a wry grin sneaking onto his lips. "Sure. I don't have much of an appetite, so don't take offense if I don't eat much but... your company is more than welcome. I just hope you don't get sick too."

Wandering towards the bunkhouse, a few people going to supper greet him, happy that he's on the mend. He makes light of the topic, not liking the attention, or thinking about how sick he'd been. Making it back to his porch, his walk is weary as the short excursion has made him quite tired. He tries his best not to let it show though, and holds the door open for Faith. "Since the sun is setting behind us, shadows must go first."


Carol could see the spark in the young woman's eyes and knew there was much more here than someone just wanting some extra cash. Kip had always been sensitive to others who were in need, and it was now proven again. And Carol's heart was big enough to let someone else in.

Shaking her head with a smile, she answers Karla. "You don't have to do a thing tonight, other than have fun with the others. If you want the job, you can start as early as tomorrow."

Kip's grin widens and he glances to Carol. "Don't forget to tell her about the food too."

Carol gives him a sidelong glance, question passing through her eyes. "The...?"

"You know." Kip nods. "Since she'll be working here."

"Oh...oh! Yes... of course." Carol blinks before turning back to Karla, having finally gotten Kips hint and agreeing. "When we go back to the study, we'll go by the kitchen and I'll show you the one refrigerator where we keep leftovers and basically food that's just on hand for things other than our main meals." She laughs. "It's the one Erik and Kip raid all the time. But basically you can help yourself any time. If you forget your lunch or anything, that fridge is always open, so don't be shy."

Kip lifts his eyebrows several times, lowering his voice to a whisper. "We keep the ice cream in that freezer too."

Carol rolls her eyes in amusement. "So yes... if you think you'd like to take the job, we can go start on the paperwork."


Gage shrugs then shakes his head. "I really don't have a preference tonight. You pick."

Though perhaps things had grown between Gage and Sapphire, now that they had both expressed a liking for each other, their interaction didn't seem to change much. Conversation was still enjoyed, and quiet moments were too. Gage found himself at ease like always, just a little surprised that his boldness earlier had not led to more awkwardness. But it hadn't... it was just like they always were but... better... warmer. But not embarrassed or awkward. It was something new... but not scary. Unknown... but not feared. And when he looked into Sapphire's eyes, nothing was different. She was the same... he was the same. Maybe things were even easier now that they knew they both felt the same way. All in all, Gage liked it. Maybe he was getting closer to the life he wanted after all.


For some, the night comes and goes like a gentle wave, crashing upon the shore then slipping away, lost to time but not forgotten.


Laura pulls into a gas station, needing to fill the car before traveling out of town. But before getting out, she takes her cell phone and dials, waiting for Nate to answer. They'd been able to see each other only for a couple minutes this morning, and it just wasn't enough.

"Hey, it's me... just wanted to let you know I'm on the road. There's some rain predicted, but it shouldn't get much worse than that by the time I get to Dan and Paula's. Do you want me to call you again when I get there?"