ok

*Katie puts her hand Jason's shoulder.* " Maybe someday you will be able to see your dad too. I think I'll write back to him. But not now. I need time to think everything out." *Katie glances at Jason.* " You look tired. Want me to leave you be so you can get some sleep?"

*Angel smiles at Mick as he leave the tack room. After a moment Angel heads out herself*

*Rosett walks out of her office right as Angel starts to walk by.* "Hey Angel have you seen Mick?"

*Angel nods.* "Ya I was just talking to him. I think he was heading to the mess hall. Everything ok?"

*Rosetta nods and smiles.* "Ya thx."

*Wendy wheels herself over to Jade.* "Hey, sorry I havent much time to talk to you. How are you doing? Finding everything ok?"

Talk

Jason nods as he listens. He can’t empathize, but he can imagine the feelings something like Katie’s situation could evoke, and it wasn’t the greatest feeling in the world.
He just lets Katie talk, taking it in and contemplating it. “Well…I guess the only thing you can do is whatever you’re comfortable with and nothing more. I can’t judge why your dad decided to write to you now…though I dare say if there were ill intentions, he’s not taking a typical route. Sounds to me like he might have gotten hit with a reality check.” He shrugs. “I wish I could give you some advice, but I’m afraid without ever having been there myself I don’t know what to say.”
He thinks for a moment, reflecting on his own past. “Ya know though…I have to say that you’re lucky to have a dad talking to you at all. It’s more than some people have.”
He looks down, feeling his body growing weary, without having had any rest since getting back from the hospital. But he’ll stay awake as long as Katie needs to talk.



Mick concentrates on his task as Angel talks, listening more intently than his body language suggests. A wry grin escapes when she mentions Wes, and he shakes his head as she ends. “What did I ever do to deserve a million and once chances with that woman?” He stands up and throws his rag into a box in the corner. “Thanks, Angel.” He nods to her. “I appreciate your honesty.” Thinking for just a moment, he turns and heads out of the tack room, aiming for Rosetta’s office.

“Hey, Mick!” Sparky catches him halfway. “Jade’s been looking for you. I think she’s in the mess hall now.”

“Oh… thanks.” Mick looks back and for the between the office and the mess hall. Finally he turns, taking route for his daughter.

Love

*Katie gets up and goes over next to Jason siting down. She lets out a sigh* " I really dont know what to say about it. I was to write him back, but I still hold so much anger and hurt, I dont know if I want to forgive him. What would compell him to write to me after all these years anyways. " *Katie stops for a moment and just thinks.* " I dont know what to think about it all. Its so hard ya know. Not talking to him for so long and than poof here he is emailing me. ah...and my step mom. I bet she woudlent be to happy if she new he was writing me again. We never got alone, and cuz of her I would never attempt to see him again. I just dont know J."

*Angel smiles and comes into the tack room. Siting down on one of the over turned buckets.* " Well...You know Rosetta have a very deep love for you Mick. And I can say that knowing its true. You guys grew up together. The last 18 when you were gone she missed you alot, but that fire never burned out. When you came back it grew an became stronger. Rosetta would probley love to throw her arms around you look you in the eyes and tell you she loves you. But she dosent. She knows things have been rough on you and she dosent want to push you into anything your not ready for. She is willing to wait longer for you." *Angel holds her smile. Than her mind goes to Wes. and looks back at Mick.* " Ya know in a way its a horrable thing to say but I am happy you came back when you did. Rosetta and Wes were happy but they wernt ment to be together. You could just tell. Rosetta's heart belonged to you. and she was ment to be with you. And if that never happens, thats ok. Just knowing she had that chanse to shair her life with you will be enough."

Question

Jason wishes he has an answer for Katie. He’s not used to feeling like he wants to help as much as he does right now, but even so, what could he do? He can’t even physically do anything for her to help lighten her load. Finally he shifts his weight to one side of the bed, and gestures to the empty space. “Wanna talk about it?”

Mick looks up and smiles at Angel. “Hey, yeah, I’m okay. Just trying to do something constructive while my brain is fried with the case.” He chuckles, still working with the dry leather. He pauses though, and cocks his head thoughtfully. “Though now that I’ve got you alone…” He cuts himself off, shaking his head, but after a moment, he can’t let it go. “You don’t have to answer me if you don’t want to, Angel, but I know you and Rosetta are really close and…well, everybody and their dog probably knows I’ve been thinking about her and me. It’s not like a secret.” He rolls his eyes. “But I guess…I don’t know…has Rosetta said anything to you about it?”

Confused

*Katie gives alittle shrug.* "Ya I think....I think I am ok. I just dont know what to think about it. He wrote to tell em how wrong he was and how sorry he is. I dont know if I should write back, or...if he even means it. I just dont....I just dont know J. I'm so confused by it."

*Wes smiles at Clint.* "Thats what family's for. Let take a look at what you got stuck on and see if I can show you how to do it."

*As Angel wonders around the ranch her notices the tack room door is open. Figureing one of the hands left it open she wonders over to closes it. Glancing in she can see Mick siting alone. Angel enters.* "Mick....are you ok?"

~*~Somewhere Alse~*~

*BJ and Sam leave the house to make there way to the park across the street. BJ runs and play on the swings with the other kids. Sam smiles as she can see how happy BJ is.*

Alright?

Jason is silent for just a moment, trying to sort through all the different scenarios happening at once. He shakes his head and aims the conversation back to the direction he feels is most important. “Forget about me for a minute, Katie. You heard from your dad?” He looks at her with compassion. “Good news or bad, that’s gotta be rough. You going to be okay?”


Clint looks in surprise at the envelope Wes hands him. “I…” He almost laughs. “I feel stupid. What can I say but thank you?” He rolls his eyes at himself. “Way to go, Clint.” He glances at Wes, grateful for all his help. “I’m in deep, but I’d be in a whole lot deeper if it weren’t for you. I owe you big time.”
He beams at Wes’ compliment. “Thanks…there were a couple things I got stuck on, but I got a few things accomplished.” He follows Wes into the shop.


Mick sits in the tack room alone, oiling an old saddle. His hands move in a rhythmic pattern, memorized by years of the same. His thoughts wander in different directions, but here in the barn, he can find a small bit of peace.

Some people

*Over hearing Clint's conversation Wes was outside and see Clint leaning aganst the wall.* "Hey killer. I dident mean to over hear your convo. But I was just coming to look for ya. So ya thought you could trust someone and it turns out you couldent. Its a tough lesson to leane huh? But because of this you cant think everyone out there is dishonest. There are some good peope left in this world." *Wes digs into pocket and hands Clint a check.* " A lady from the post office stop by here this morning. I guess the envalope got ripped in the mail. She saw my name and address on the check and came by to drop it back off to me." *Wes smiles.* " So, now what we have found what was lost, lets get a nice strong envalop for it and try sending it again." *Wes puts his arm around Clint's shoulder as they head into the shop.* " Oh ya, I saw the word you did over the last week. Very very nice job."

*Katie whipes her face.* "I'm...I'm ok. I just got an email from my dad is all. Not sure what I should think about it." *Katie lets out a long sigh.* " I'm sorry all this stuff happend to you Jason. Dont feel regret though. Everything helped you over come alot and I think thats more important. I mean I know TJY is your life but, now you can start doing more stuff too." *Katie smiles.* "Maybe we can go on the picnic too."

~*~Somewhere Alse~*~

*BJ bounces down the steps and runs into the kitchen sliding across the floor. All dressed in his bright orange shirt and his Red shorts. He also has 2 differnt socks on.* "Sham I is ready."

"You mean you ARE ready." *Sam looks at Jason and cant help but bust out laughing.* " BJ..since when do orange and red match?"

*BJ grins big.* "Since you told me to dress myself."

"You goof ball, lets get something on you that matches and than we will go to the park." *Sam takes BJ's hand.*

"YAY." *BJ squeels as he takes Sam's hand.*

Phone call

Clint wanders outside and heads to Wes’ shop. Just as he reaches the door, his cell phone buzzes on his belt. Rolling his eyes, he stops with the door halfway open, and answers the call. “Yeah…Ted? No! I don’t know! I sent it to Dan. He was supposed to….” Clint rolls his eyes, and paces in a small circle, not remembering that the door is still open. “Yeah, I know all that. I got a call about that yesterday. …What? He’s breathing down my neck, Ted! What would you suggest? I tried! No, all it taught me was not to trust Dan, that’s for sure….. Yes, I asked him point blank. Said he didn’t have a clue what I was talking about, and I’m out a thousand bucks that I haven’t even earned yet. How do you think that’s supposed to make me feel?” He stops pacing and looks at the ground with a moan. “Of course I haven’t said anything about it – I’m too embarrassed. I’m just gonna have to save it until I’ve got the whole chunk, then deliver it myself. ……I know it’s dangerous. I’m looking over my shoulder constantly, but what else am I supposed to do?” He sighs and shakes his head. “If you see him, tell him I’m working on it. I know he won’t be happy, but that’s the best I can do.”
Clint ends his call and leans against the outside of the shop, trying to collect his thoughts. He’d messed up twice now. What kind of brains had he ended up with anyway?


Jason get himself situated in a sitting position on his bed again, still feeling as though he’s in shock. “I just can’t believe it,” he talks mostly to himself as Katie checks her email. “TJY is all I’ve known…it’s what I’ve been trained to do…and it’s being taken away. Because I was stupid…” He scoffs at himself. “You’d think someone with brains like mine could figure out when to keep his mouth shut and when to stop when he’s ahead. Now my future is in jeopardy. And why? First, because I was stupid. And second because my own grandfather turned me in!” He shakes his head and leans back into his pile of pillows.
Suddenly he realizes that Katie is quiet. He glances over to her, and is immediately concerned as he sees her tears. What had happened. “Hey…Katie, you alright?”

Letter

*Wendy nods to Clint.* "Ok..I'll save you a place. Have fun." *Wendy throws Clint a smile as he leaves.*

*Katie follows Jason trying to help him as much as she can. Once geting to the mess hall Katie stands with Jason leting him lean on her. After listing to all Con said to Jason, Katies heart acks for Jason. Slowly Katie helps him back t his bunk. As they enter Jason's bunk Katie hears her computer (that yes is still on Jason's table.) beeping leting her know she had a new email. She helps Jason to sit down.* "I"m going to check my message fast than if you want I'll leave ya be." *Katie makes her way over to her laptop. Not reconizing the address she starts to read the email. After several moment Katies eyes grow as she relizes who the emial is from. As she finishes it off tears flow from her eyes. Anger, confustion fills her mind. Should she write back, or not. Had her dad truly changed? Why would he email her after all this time? What was she to do next?*

~*~Somewhere Alse~*~

*BJ finishes his oatmeal and put his bowl into the sink.* "Tan we doe outshide now Sham?"

*Sam looks at BJ and smiles alittle.* " You havent even goten dressed yet. Run upstairs and take your bath and get dressed."

*BJ turns to run upstairs* "Otay"

* Sam yells after BJ.* "AND BRUSH YOUR TEETH." *After BJ is up stairs and out of ear shot Sam pulls out her phone and dials a number.* "Hey its me...Ya I know you told me not to call. But I wanted to know how much longer you wanted me to keep BJ...I ment Jason...I do like having him with me...but he deserves a real life. A real chanse...I know he is important to us but...He's a sweet kid. Fine whatever." *Sam hangs up the phone a sarrow hanging heavy in her heart.*

Why?

Clint grins at Wendy. "I didn't know you were interested in that sort of thing." He glances at his watch. "Well, I better scoot before I lose this job of mine." He chuckles. "See you around lunchtime?"


Jason fights between anger, hurt and logic, but he shakes his head. “You had nothing to do with this Katie, and don’t you ever take any of the blame on yourself. Those charges against me are true and of my own doing.” He lets her help him up, and balances on one leg while he grabs his crutches. “Talking to Con is as good idea though – I want to get to the bottom of this.” He grits his teeth, trying to suppress his anger until he’s heard the whole story.

They make their way back to the mess hall, finding that many have already dispersed for the day. Con is still at a table alone though, Austin nowhere in sight.

Jason aims for Con and doesn’t even bother to sit down, but leans on his crutches instead. He dives right in, not bothering with an introduction into the conversation. “I just got off the phone with Susanne,” he states flatly. “Forget to tell me something, Con?”

Con holds his coffee mug between his hands, and doesn’t even look up at Jason, his face clearly showing that he’s upset. “Sorry, Hotshot.”

“Sorry?” Jason scoffs. “That’s it?”

“I don’t like this any better than you do, so don’t make it worse by getting upset.”

Jason shakes his head in disbelief. “I’ve been suspended and that’s all you can say? Why, Con? Why were you the one who should have told me? Are you the one that ratted to Carter or what?”

Con jerks his head, quickly meeting Jason’s eye with an anger of his own. “I was doing my job. Don’t think for a minute that I did any of this on purpose.”

“So you were the one who reported everything.”

“What was I supposed to do?” Con throws up his hands. “My job here is to protect my superior – Austin – and to submit weekly reports back to TJY. I wasn’t going to lie, Jason.”

Jason groans, wishing for a moment he would have back full mobility and have it out with Con. “But you knew this would happen!”

Con scowls at him. “Look – anyone else could have done any one of those things and been suspended for it. Be glad it took all of them for the request to go through.”

“But I can justify every one of those!”

“Can you?” Con looks back down at his mug. “Can you justify almost blowing Austin’s head off? Can you justify breaching security?”

Jason’s face reddens as he grows desperate. “But there were reasons!”

“It doesn’t matter!” Con’s palm slams down on the table as he looks up again, the pain evident in his eyes. “I didn’t plan this, and I’m making myself sick just thinking about you, of all people, getting suspended. But my hands are tied.”

Jason isn’t ready to give up yet. “You said a request went through. Whose request was it?”

Con focuses on the table, his jaw muscles working at his tension.

“Who was it, Con?” Jason raises his voice, ignoring the stares from others in the mess hall. “Who recommended my suspension?”

Con still doesn’t answer.

“Dang it, Con!” Jason’s desperation is to its limit. “Tell me!”

“It was Austin!” Con glares up at him. “Are you happy now?”

Jason blinks in disbelief, his tone lowering drastically. “Austin…? But…”

Con shakes his head. “It won’t do you any good to question him. He won’t even talk to me about it. I asked him outright why he’d done it and he didn’t answer me.” He finishes off his coffee and rises from his seat, making eye contact with Jason. “If I were you, I’d let it go. Enjoy the time off, maybe even go somewhere else. But don’t press your luck. If you’re smart, you’ll back off and just let it be. Accept your circumstances and don’t fight it. If you’re lucky, they won’t hold you on suspension for long.”

“How can I just let it go? This is my future we’re talking about!”

“You think I don’t realize that?” Con sighs deeply. “If you care about your future, don’t fight it. You’ll only make things worse.”

Jason swallows hard, not even sure how to feel. The charges were true…he couldn’t deny them. He simply hadn’t thought they would affect his record so severely. Was Con right? Was there really nothing he could do? Why had Austin, of all people, recommended his suspension? That fact hurt more than he’d care to admit. He finally lets his gaze drop to the floor. “If anyone needs me, I guess I’ll be in my bunk then.” He turns around, stopping as he catches Katie’s eye. So much for getting things back to normal.


An email awaits...

Dear Katie,

How does a man apologize to his daughter? How can a man ever rebuild a bridge that he burned with pain as the fuel and pride as the flame? If I new the answers, I would not feel so inadequate now, to express how sorry I am.

I hope you don’t delete this message before reading it…though I guess I couldn’t blame you. I tried calling several times in the last few weeks, but I guess you were gone.

I’ve done so many things wrong, Katie…it pains me to think of all the hurt you’ve been through – all the hurt I’ve caused. I have no excuses… I know that nothing I say can excuse my despicable behavior.

When your mother and brother died, my world felt as if it was crashing down. I’ve never felt such sorrow and misery. But even so, I had no right to lash out at you – my daughter. I was full of hate…hate for myself because I blamed myself for the cause of those deaths. But instead of admitting that guilt to myself, I chose to put the blame on others in an attempt to relieve the pain. But all it did was make it worse.

I said things to you that I regret. I treated you in a way that now I despise. If I could go back in time, I would change so much…

I can never hope for your forgiveness. You’ve been hurt in ways unimaginable, and by my hands. I guess I simply wanted you to know that your father is changed. I had to be broken in order to see the wrongs I’d done, and my heart has never felt heavier. I have a happy life…one with joyful children and a loving wife. But there is still a hole – a hole in my heart where you once resided.

Katie, I’m so sorry. I know you probably hate me, but I couldn’t live without knowing I did all I could to try and right my wrongs.

I love you.

-Dad

what,why?

*Katie cant help but smile. Jason's words bring her comfort. Katie keeps as quiet as she can as JAson makes his call. As Susanne talks to Jason, the blood drains from Katies face. No...not something alse. When it rains it pours. As Jason hangs up the phone Katie can feel his anger, his embaressment.* "Oh J! How could this happen. I dont understand." *As Katie thinks about some of what Jason has been charged with it hits her.* " J...some of that stuff is cuz you told me stuff you shouldent have. I pushed you into telling me. I'm so sorry." *Katie again goes quiet. Her own anger rising inside of her. Why hasent Con told Jason. Why would they let this happen.* "J, come on...lets go find Con and see whats going on. This is unbelievable."*Katie holds out her arm to help Jason up again.*

Let down

Jason cocks his head at Katie’s tone, hit with a sudden realization that he hadn’t thought of before. He’d never have guessed that his recovery would have been a disappointment on some level, but apparently it was. “Katie…” He shakes his head at her. “You silly goose.” He almost laughs. “Even the old Jason could have used a personal hero…”

He pauses, studying her face, and growing a little more serious. “You’re still needed, Katie, and don’t you forget it.”

He allows the conversation to shift to another topic, slight discomfort rising in the form of heat on his neck, while a new thought strikes him.

“Say, I better get a hold of TJY. They’re going to want a report from me, and I haven’t even given Austin a full rundown yet.” He rolls over and grabs the phone, pulling it onto the bed and hitting the speaker phone. He dials the number and waits until a female voice answers. He grins. “Hey, Susanne.”

“Jason??”

Jason raises an eyebrow at her tone. “Yeah. How ya doing?”

“Well…fine…I guess I didn’t expect to hear from you though. Thought you might be on a long vacation somewhere.”

Jason furrows his brow. “Well, I just got back from the hospital, but no vacation for me. I decided I’d give Reese what he wanted and get back on this case, at least in the background. Gonna be a while before I’m back on my feet.”

There’s a pause before Susanne speaks again. “Jason…hasn’t Con told you?”

Jason bristles and glances at Katie while continuing his phone conversation. “Hasn’t he told me what?”

Susanne doesn’t answer.

Jason repeats himself, a strange fear descending. “What hasn’t he told me, Susanne?”

“Well…” Susanne pauses again. “You’ve been suspended.”

Jason’s jaw drops, his eyes widening. “What?!”

“I’m sorry, Jason. Con was supposed to tell you. The paperwork came across my desk just yesterday.”

“But why?” Jason’s confusion and anger begin to surface. “On what grounds, and by who’s request?”

“I shouldn’t be telling you this.”

“Tell me, Susanne.”

Susanne sighs. “Look, there’s a whole list of reasons you’ve been suspended, and it came directly from Carter. You’re in deep, Hotshot. I don’t know what’s going to happen.”

Jason looks back and forth between Katie and the phone, in total shock. “What…how…what are the reasons? I need to know.”

There’s a pause, with typing in the background before Susanne speaks again. “There’s a statement from Carter, expressing dissatisfaction due to……a list of things….” She pauses again. “Here it is, and I quote, ‘an apparent mental instability, frequent fluctuations in loyalty to the case, deliberate breach in security by exposing information without authority to a certain party, threatening a superior with his life, and negligence by putting himself and others in harm’s way.”

Jason’s eyes can’t go any wider, his blood running cold. He doesn’t even know how to respond.

Susanne finally breaks the silence. “I’m sorry, Jason. If you want more information, you’ll have to talk to Austin, Con or Reese, who’s not here at the moment. …I have to go now before I get into trouble. Carter’s on the floor.”

There’s a click, abruptly ending the call. Jason stares at Katie, at a completely loss for words. He’s angry, he’s confused, and he’s embarrassed. What just happened?

Retired

*Wendy giggle at Clint.* "Hah...look at you. Mr. High and mighty." *Wendy makes a face to show she is joking.* "That really cool. Maybe sometime you can show me a thing or 2 out there. I could stand to lean how to fix somestuff."

*Katie eases down in a chair she has found to have spent alot of time in, in the past. Listing to Jason as he talks Katie smiles.* " Eh...I just gave you a shoulder to lean on J. You did the rest for yourself. But your weclome." *Katie is silent for a moment trying to gather her thoughts.* " I am happy that you have concered your fears J. I really am. Old Jason or New Jason, You will always be J to me. and I like ya no matter what." *Once again Katie goes silent. Than she looks up at Jason in the eyes. I tad bit of sadness.* " I guess your personal hero can retire now huh?!*

Back

Clint nods. “Yeah, I gotta talk to Wes here in a bit. I haven’t told him yet that I got one of them old engines running while he was gone.” He grins proudly. “Maybe I’ll actually learn a thing or two after all.”


Jason makes it to his bunk, and gestures for Katie to come in too, obviously with something he wants to talk about. He sits down on his bed and scoots back to lean against the wall, sighing as he’s able to stretch out his leg. “Thanks for all your help, Katie. I really appreciate it. You’ve been a real trooper, even when I’ve been a jerk.” He grabs a pillow to fold in front of him, thinking hard. “Ya know… yesterday I said something and you asked me about it, and I avoided it because I wasn’t quite sure of an answer. But…I got to thinking about it…”
He thinks for another moment, used to opening up with Katie now, though still slightly hesitant. “When…when I got taken, and they kept me in the basement… the one guy would come down and beat on me, trying to get me to talk. At first I was angry and I was fighting all sorts of memories of Alex. First off, I couldn’t believe I’d been taken from the mall again, so that was interesting to think about, then I was helpless once again…at the mercy of an adversary.” He pauses and swallows hard. “And then I came to realization that no matter what they did to me…no matter what they said…there was one thing they couldn’t touch – and that was my own mind. So I made it almost into a game. I’d egg them on and jeer right back at them, all the while just trying to ignore the pain. They got so mad that I really thought they were going to kill me a couple times. …After a while I began to see that I had gained control over my own mind…I wasn’t ignoring my circumstances or blocking anything out…I’d simply conquered the fears that would have caused panic.”
He shrugs lamely. “So…I guess at one point, I added two and two together… if I could do that, then why couldn’t I overcome the memories of my past in the same way? So I started thinking about Alex, and I walked myself through a bunch of stuff all over again…and it worked. I really started to see that Alex no longer had to have control over me…I had control over my own mind, and I could choose to react however I wanted, without shutting down. Yeah, there’s still pain there in some areas…but overall…I finally discovered that the control I was looking for all this time wasn’t something to control my memories, but rather it was something to control myself as I faced those memories. And… I feel like I’ve finally got a real handle on things…even better than when I first came here.”
He looks her in the eye, just staring at her for several seconds. “You’ve had a lot to do with that…and I don’t know if I would have made it this far if it hadn’t been for you…Hotshot Jason is back, and it feels good.”

Help

*Angel nods to Luke.* "Ok sounds good. Well I am gonna head to my office for a few I have some stuff to do. If ya need me thats where I will be." *Angel stands and gives Luke a kiss. Than makes her way out of the mess hall.*

*Wendy can tell something more is wrong with Clint but decieds to let it go for now.* " Ok. So are you working with Wes today? or maybe we can do something?"

*Katie stands.* " Ya sure." *Heading to the door she opens it and helps Jason outside. Slowly she walks with him offering a shoulder to help him walk as they make there way to his bunk.*

Doors

Luke can't help his smile. "Yes, Kyle will definitely want to meet you, seeing as though he's one of the many who teased me about never getting married." He chuckles. "I don't think there's much you can do right now, but I'll let you know if there is."

Clint shrugs, not wanting to tell Wendy that he received another threatening phone call yesterday about the money he owes. "Yeah, everything is fine. Just a weird night I guess."

Jason takes the orange juice and pain pills gratefully. "Thanks, Katie."

Breakfast in the mess hall doesn't last long, and people begin to disperse as routine. Tired, Jason manages to get to his feet, and grabs his crutches. "Katie, you mind getting doors for me? The one at my bunk is a killer."