O.O

Ryder looks up as Katie approaches, glad that she'd showed up on her own. He didn't mind being there for Laura, even if he didn't really know her. But even so, he thought it even better if Katie was there too.

Letting Katie take over, he stands up and goes to clean up the rest of the broken glass, and sop up the remaining tea. It takes him a little while, but he winds up getting some soap and working on the spot to make sure it doesn't even stain the carpet.

Hearing Katie and feeling her arm around her, Laura just leans onto her younger friend's shoulder. "Oh, Katie," she whimpers. "I feel so messed up. I just... I don't know what to do, and I just keep making things worse..." Her sobs quiet some, but the tears still flow. She hadn't yet come to terms with what Bryce had done to her, making this whole thing even worse. She wanted to just charge through her emotions and conquer it all like she always did... but this time she couldn't.

"I have to testify in court... and I just feel like I should have been stronger... and now Nate and I... I don't even know if there is a Nate and I anymore." She sniffs, trying to take deep breaths to calm herself. "He must hate me... I know I would... everything I've put him through."

Henry comes to Ryder, sniffing the wet spot on the floor, then looking back over to his mistress. Holding his tail high, he trots to the couch and jumps up on Katie's lap so he can be close to both women, and starts to purr as if offering his own comfort.

Ryder cocks his head, watching the scene for a moment. Something stirred in his heart. It was more than compassion. It was a longing. He'd had friends. But none close. He'd had a family. But it had been too quickly taken away. The people here... at TJY, and their friends... they were all so different. It was like one big family.

Sighing, he gets up and heads down the hall, disappearing. About ten minutes later, he comes back, and squats down next to the couch by Katie. "Hey," he mentions quietly. "Best thing for her is to relax and get some sleep. I've got the hot water running in the tub - it'd do her good."


Axel is quiet, and though feeling as though he might do something wrong, he doesn't want to foul up another opportunity. He liked Jess... maybe more than he'd admit to anyone else. He'd been intrigued with her from the very beginning. But that intrigue had turned to something more. He cared about her... and while he was satisfied with their simple friendship... if he didn't take a step for more... a step towards something that he had always thought would be out of his reach... a step towards something that his heart really did want... he might lose her to someone else. And while they could still be friends, he didn't like that thought. If he didn't keep her around and keep her close, he'd be losing something he'd learned to view as precious.

Slowly, he moves to wrap one arm around her waist, the other hand still on her face. "Good," he whispers.

Leaning in, he tilts his head just a little, before letting his lips meet her own, every so lightly. For him, the feeling is like an electrical shock, running through his entire system. Pulling back just a little, Axel looks in Jess' eyes, wondering if it was just him, or if he really was being silly. But having her this close, in his arms.... it was a feeling he wouldn't have traded for anything.

A small smile creeps into the corner of his mouth. "This time I can't fall to my death," he whispers. "But even if that was the consequence... I think it would be worth it."

Returning to her lips, he kisses her once more, but this time with more confidence, letting it linger... letting it's warmth stay with him. The taste was sweet, the feeling irreplaceable.

Sticking

Sitting up straght in her bed Katie's ears catch sound to the breaking glass. It could of just been Ryder but it could be something alse as well. If something was wrong Katie would never forgive herself for not getting up to check.

Throwing on one of her hoodies Katie slowly opens the door from her room her gun at her said as she squints out into the light. Slowly emerging Katie makes her way to where she hurd the nosie coming from her ears picking up on a soft crying.

Looking into the living room and seeing Ryder and Laura Katie's is put at ease a little knowing it was not a burgler. Though she was happy to see her friend, why was Laura here now she though Con had said she would be staying away for a little while now.

Coming in farther Katie sinks down on the couch next to Laura and gentily puts her arm around her friend. She didnt need to say anything, she new Laura was having a hard time. She just wanted to be there for her friend so she new she was not alone.

Continuing to look for Axel's wallet Jess cant help the laugh that escapes her lips at the thought of the crickets.

"You know thats a very funny mentil image right?"

As Axel finds his wallet Jess stands and shakes her head. How silly she felt but how good at the same time.

Heading back the way they came Jess stands a little close to Axel. Feeling his hand slowly slip into her, her finger tighten slightly as she looks to him giving a smile. It was warm and the feeling felt, so differnt but she liked it, and it didnt cause any fear.

Finally getting back to the house Jess turns to Axel hearing his words. Feeling the heat come to her face Jess closes her eyes for a moment feeling Axel's hand on her face.

"Your a pretty special rainbow Axel. I have a feeling I will be sticking around."

Looking deep into Axel's eyes Jess heart starts to race as she can feel her own hands start to get a bit clammy, she wasnt scaired only nervouse. Giving a small nod she steps just a little bit closer to Axel.

"Yes, I...I'd like that."

Bringing her hand up she places it on Axel's shoulder as the other finds its way around him, her emotions running, her feelings, this feel was differnt, and it was good. With antisapation jess waited for Axel to lean closer when he was ready.

Morning is coming...

Dan and Paula exchange glances as Nate leaves the house. Paula's eyes go slightly wide. "What was that all about?"

"I... don't know. Con said things weren't great between those two though."


Laura watches helplessly as Nate leaves. It felt like this was all her fault. When would she learn to just stay away from people so she wouldn't hurt them? When would she learn to just not get involved so she didn't have to say no, and didn't have to look into eyes like Nate's that just broke her heart?

Letting out a cry of frustration, she flops down onto the back porch steps to lean back against the railing. She turns off the tears, not wanting to continue feeling so out of control. She had never felt lower in her life.

"Laura?"

She doesn't move, but lets her aunt come and sit next to her. "He left?"

"Yes." Paula reaches over to rub Laura's back lovingly. "You okay?"

Laura forces out a sorry laugh. "I'm always okay."

"You don't look it." Paula sighs. "You know it's okay to cry."

"I know." Laura looks down. "But I don't want to. I just want to go home."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah..." Laura nods. "Bryce is gone so... there's nothing for me to worry about, and Katie is there, so I know I'm safe. I don't mean to be ungrateful to you and Uncle Dan."

"Oh, we don't think you are." Paula gives Laura's shoulders a squeeze. "I know, you'd just rather be in your own house and closer to your brother too."

Laura nods again. "I know it's getting late, but..."

"I'll help you." Paula smiles. "Come on."

...It's past midnight, and the driveway is dark. Laura shuts off her car and glances around the yard. The several hour drive had only proven to make her spirits worse. All she wanted was to crawl into bed. The darkness scared her... but she was too angry at that fear to let it get the best of her.

She exits her car with confidence, knowing that her gun was loaded. Grabbing her bag from the back seat, she heads up the porch and finds her key to let herself in. Katie wasn't expecting her, so hopefully she wouldn't wake up from the noise.

Laura lets her bag drop behind the couch, then goes to the kitchen to get something to drink. Odd. The light was on. Maybe Katie was still up after all.

But reaching the kitchen, her eyes widen in shock, seeing a man at the sink with a glass of water. If someone had told her that a man was here, it had been lost in the chaos. But she was in no mood to take chances.

Ryder almost chokes on his water as he turns around to face a blonde woman with a gun drawn. "Whoa, easy, easy." He sets his glass down and puts his hands in the air. "I belong here."

"Who are you?" Laura hisses.

"Ryder. I came back with the group from Australia. Katie let me sack out here for a while." Ryder's heart pounded in his chest, afraid for his own life at this point, though he remained calm. "You must be Laura... right?"

Laura's eyes narrow. She vaguely remembered someone telling her that someone was staying here, but was this guy really telling the truth?

Ryder offers a small smile. "Would a thief stop to get a drink in the kitchen?"

Laura starts to lower her gun. "I suppose not."

"Naw... I'm sorry I scared you. But really... call Katie if you need to. She just went to bed a bit ago."

Right then, Henry decides to enter in on the fun, and starts to weave in and out of Ryder's legs, purring loudly at his new friend.

Laura sees her cat's behavior and now knows for sure that this guy is alright. Otherwise Henry wouldn't bt acting so friendly. "Okay," she relents, withdrawing her gun. "I apologize." She was jumpy. She wasn't going to take risks with any strange guy. But her gut had yet to be wrong, and this guy was telling the truth, no matter how strange it seemed.

"No need." Ryder studies Laura's face. It never ceased to disgust him, how someone could hurt a woman like that, and it pained him to see anyone in this position. "We didn't know when you'd be back."

"Yeah... well, neither did I." Laura sighs and goes to the refrigerator, looking for some iced tea. She had a headache, and now knowing Ryder was on the up and up, she really didn't care if he was there or not. It still seemed a bit odd to her, but she was too tired to think about it. People showed up here all the time. Whatever. If Henry thought this guy was okay, then she'd just trust that, and the name did ring a bell. Not to mention, Katie would never let an intruder get this far.

One would think that Laura would be a whole lot more hesitant around a male stranger right now, but for some reason, her mind seemed to have bypassed the fear mechanism, too tired of being afraid. She was in no-nonsense mode, with forced confidence to get her through. her mind was foggy enough the way it was - she didn't want to clutter it with more information.

Laura gets her tea and leans back against the counter, sipping it slowly. Finally she moves to the living room, wandering past the wall of photos. Looking over them, her eyes land on several recent additions that had Nate's smiling face. Tears suddenly spring into her eyes, even though she fought hard to control them. But the lump rising in her throat seemed more determined than she, now that she was in the safe confines of home.

Ryder watches from a distance, then approaches slowly. He'd been getting ready to go to bed, but he hardly wanted to just flop down on the couch now, when Laura was still up. "You alright?" he asks quietly.

Laura swallows hard and just takes another sip of her tea. But her hands had started to shake, and her grip was lost. The glass falls out of her hand, bouncing off the wall. It breaks, sending glass into a scattered mess, mixed with the tea that starts to immediately soak into the carpet.

Laura lets out a little wail and leans down quickly to clean it up. She just wasn't thinking straight though, and she reaches in too hastily, slicing her palm on a piece of glass. "Oh come on," she grumbles. But the wound had done its damage. A cut normally wouldn't bother her so much, but on a night like to night, she couldn't even predict her own reactions with the way her emotions were bouncing all over the place. Tears start to roll down her face, not so much from the cut, but from the inner wounds that she was trying to pretend didn't exist.

Ryder is quick to grab a couple towels from the kitchen - one for the mess and one for Laura's hand. "Easy does it," he prompts gently as he kneels next to her. "Did it get you bad?"

Laura shakes her head, though she can't get the tears to stop. All the bottled-up emotions that she'd kept inside since Bryce's attack were suddenly racing towards the surface, taking advantage of the opportunity when her wall had been lowered just enough.

"Got you good enough though, ay?" Ryder reaches over to take her hand.

Feeling his touch, Laura jumps back, suddenly thrown back into her pool of vulnerability.

"Hey, hey," Ryder soothes. "I'm not going to hurt you." His eyes begged her to trust him. He knew that while this was a very strong woman in front of him, everyone had their breaking point, and no matter what, at traumatic experience like she'd gone through was just that - traumatic. "I promise."

Maybe it was that she wasn't thinking straight. Maybe it was that Ryder seemed nice. Maybe it was that God knew Laura needed help. No matter the cause, she relents, giving Ryder her hand.

"There we are." Ryder wipes away some of the blood, then wraps the thin towel around her hand. "Put some pressure on that - it's not too deep." He turns to mop up the spilled drink, carefully picking up the pieces of glass.

The tears don't stop. "It hurts," Laura wimpers.

"I know. We should go wash it out."

"No, not that." Laura's voice wavers and she sniffs. "Inside. Everything. It just... hurts."

Ryder pauses and just looks at her, his true heart of compassion showing through. He did have a soft spot somewhere, and right now it was being touched. "I bet it does," he replies quietly. "But you got a lot of friends to help you out, right? Big brother... boyfriend... friends like Katie."

Laura chokes on a sob. "If I don't push all of them away first."

"Hey now..." Ryder leaves the mess for now and moves to sit next to her, their backs against the wall. "You got a right to be upset, ya know? They'll understand."

"Not Nate," she wimpers.

"Your boyfriend?"

Laura nods and draws in a shaky breath. "I broke up with him. That's how I thank him for wanting to take care of me. How horrible is that?" She wipes her eyes with the back of her hand, but the tears don't stop.

Ryder lifts his eyebrows. That must have hurt on both sides. "You don't think he'd understand that you're just going through a tough time?"

Laura shakes her head. "I've been terrible to him... ever since the beginning. I just... I get so scared."

"That he'll hurt you?"

"I don't know." Laura sniffs again, feeling like a blubbering idiot. She didn't even know why she was telling Ryder this. "No... no, he wouldn't ever hurt me."

"So what then?"

"I don't know." Breaking down, Laura burys her face in her hands, shaking as she sobs.

"Aw, hey now... take it easy." Ryder is totally out of his element, he didn't know what to do, and he didn't know how well he'd be received. But he couldn't just do nothing. He could go get Katie, but he hated to walk away like he didn't care.

Finally, he slips an arm around Laura's shoulders. "It's alright," he speaks quietly. "It'll all be alright. Morning is coming."


Axel grins as he fishes through the tall grass. "Novelty. Save the expired coupon for fifty ears when Taco Town is long gone, and it'll be worth money."

Laughing at his own dry humor, he shakes his head. "I don't know. There's no money in there to speak of, so I have to generate interest in the search with something."

It takes a few minutes, but Axel's hands finally find his wallet. "Aha!" He holds it up. "Got it. Now lets get out of here. I got crickets trying to crawl up my pantleg."

Standing up, he helps Jess up too and heads back to the road. Heaving a sigh, he takes one last look around. "Well... that's that then, I guess." Taking route back the way they come, the walk is the same. But this time, Axel lets his hand slip into Jess' to hold until they get back to the house.

Stepping up on the porch, Axel turns to Jess before opening the door. "Thanks, Jess..." He reaches out to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. "You, um... you mean a lot to me, ya know that? Not many people would have given me the time of day after I'd run away. I just hope that..."

He stops, feeling the heat in his face again as he draws a little closer. "...that you stick around 'cause I need a good thunderstorm to keep me in line."

His hand moves to cradle the side of her face, his thumb mapping out the gentle curves. His eyes meet hers, his stare as deep as ever. "May I?" he whispers.

Crack

Feeling the sting from Laura's words Nate stops again. Why...why was this happing. His emotions were going up and down up and down.

The cracks grow bigger.

Go than stay, Nate was so confused and he didnt understand. Why did it have to be so hard. Turning around all the way the tears flood over in Nate's eyes as he cant hold them in. It was to much emotion to hold in for one person, even a strong person like Nate.

"Laura, you know darn well that I dont think your worthless, and I know you feel rotten at the moment. I understand that completely, but I dont know how to change that for you because you wont let me."

Nate was frustrated and he hurt. His heart being ripped in two. He wanted to say, but he new he should go. He wanted to wrap his arms around Laura but he new he shouldnt.

And the cracks grow.

"I walk away because I dont want to make you feel like crap and I know you need your space. I am walking away because I do understand your hurting, and you need time."

Nate takes in a sigh and lets his breath out again. His eyes showed no anger but only sadness.

"I can understand so much Laura but I cant just stand and let you throw daggers at me. I...dont feel sorry for myself, and I dont look at you like a kid. I see a woman infront of me that is hurting so much but wont let me help. I cant put myself through the torcher of just standing here and not being able to do anything, space, you want space and thats what I am giving you because I cant do anything alse."

Turning once again Nate continues to the house at a faster pace now and dosnt stop again this time as he move faster. For his own good and for Laura's he had to go even though it was the hardest thing in the world.

Disapearing inside Nate slowly makes his way into the kitchen. The tears are still stricken on his face but for now they have stoped.

Giving a small nod to Paula and Dan Nate stops but for a moment.

"Thank you very much for letting me speak with Laura."

Continuing through the kitchen and out the front door Nate gets into his car and starts it only to sit in the drive way for a moment longer. The tears forming in his eyes again as he rested his head on the stearing wheel. Now that he was alone they came with more force one after another.

Giving another laugh and shaking her head Jess slowly starts to decent the tree with Axel as he helps her down.

"I have to tell ya it was nice being in he tree but after you almost falling its good to have my feet back on the ground as well."

Brushing herself off just a little Jess moves a little ways away and drops to her hands and knees starting to look for the wallet.

"So what would be the point of an expired coupon if its no good?"

Jess laughs again as she continues to move and look for the wallet. The grass was thick and it was so dark out. she almost felt like this was looking for a pin in a hay stack.

Repeat

Finally, the tears start to sting Laura's eyes. She knew Nate's words were true. She knew it. She knew it in her heart. She knew what she really wanted. Why were things so complicated? Why did she feel so messed up? Why couldn't she just make up her mind?

"Don't walk away!" She yells at him, the frustration boiling over. Her fists ball at her sides as the first tear runs down her cheek. The first tear since this whole fiasco had started. The first sign of emotions since she had been attacked.

"Why can't you understand how I feel?! Why can't you try to understand how hard this thing is for me? Why can't you understand that I feel like the most worthless, unworthy person on the planet right now?! Why do you have to make me feel like crap for telling you I need space?"

Her lower lip starts to quiver. She didn't know what she was saying. One second she wanted Nate to leave, the next she didn't. Back and forth, back and forth, up and down. "Do you think I've changed so much, that you need to treat me with kid gloves?! Quit feeling sorry for yourself and just... just... stop it!"


"Aw, thanks." Axel smirks at Jess' teasing, though the humor is in his eyes. Settled back on the branch, he clears his throat. "Um, yeah... let's not have a repeat, or I'm liable to go all the way the next time."

While he meant falling all the way to the ground, he suddenly realizes that what he said could have been applied to the attempted kiss, and his eyes widen. He can't even look at Jess after that one, his face filling with heat once again.

"How about we just climb down and look for that wallet, hmm?" He rolls his eyes and carefully lowers himself to another branch, helping Jess down with him. Within minutes, they're back on the ground again, all in once piece.

"Alright..." Axel sets his hands on his hips and glances around the tall, dark grass. "I have no idea where to start."

He drops to his hands and knees, starting to look for his wallet. "First one to find it gets to keep the expired coupon for Taco Town," he announces.

True

Hearing Laura behind him Nate stops hanging his head for a moment. The night breeze was warm but aganst Nate's skin it felt cold.

What did Laura want from him or want him to do. She had made up her mind and had made her deistion. There was nothing he could say nothing he could differnt now to make her change that.

Finally looking over his shoulder at Laura he calls to her.

"Because thats what true love is. Thats how you know your ment to be with someone, because life isnt complete without that person there. That is how you know its true love and not just a messed up feeling Laura. Love endures all and has no limit."

Turning his head back around Nate continues his rout back to the house. His emotions still raging and his eyes still wet. What alse could he do?

Closing her eyes as Axel starts to come closer again Jess heart races, but the moment dosnt last long as it is shatter by Axel falling backwards. Quickly being replaces by him maybe falling.

Seeing that his lags have been wrapped around the tree and is now having upside down Jess cant help the small laugh the escaped her lips.

"You have to addmit now that you know your not gonna die, its a little but funny."

Jess holds up her fingers to thow a little space between them. Than shaking her head she leans over Axel a little grabbing his hand to help him up. Making sure he is safly on the branch again Jess gives another chuckel her eyes lighting up with laughter.

"How about we not do that again? I just got you back today, I dont want to have to lose you again!"

Tearless Emotions

Axel's eyes close for just a moment, unable to help but enjoy Jess' closeness as her lips brush his cheek. Looking back at her he shakes his head slowly. "Quit thanking me, Jess," he says quietly. "I'm only glad that whatever it is I do, makes you feel good. 'Cause I'd hate to see the embers die, now that I've seen that flame behind your eyes."

A small smile surfaces and he leans in a little closer, his forehead almost touching hers. A gentle breeze rustles the leaves around them, and the stars shine their lullaby. Axel's eyes reflect the depth of space itself, a vast ocean of feelings and thoughts that would take a lifetime to discover and understand.

Axel's breath slides across Jess's skin and his heart pounds even faster. He knew he would be allowed, but still he hesitates, unsure how this should work. Just as his lips begin to touch hers though, something happens.

Axel's hand slips on the rough bark, and suddenly, he's off balance. Teetering on the branch, his legs tense to try and balance himself back out again, but it's too late. Before he knows it, he has fallen backward off the branch.

Flailing arms do no good, but somehow he manages to catch himself with his legs, and winds up hanging upside down, his legs gripping the limb tightly as if he were swinging from a trapeze.

Out of breath, Axel blinks and looks up at Jess, his eyes wide. "Well now..." He clears his throat. "This is exciting." His wallet suddenly slips from his back pocket and plummets to the dark ground below. He groans. "I guess maybe I deserved this."

Struggling, he can't quite bring himself up all the way onto the branch again, and he holds out his hand. "A little help for a fallen rainbow?"


Seeing the tears in Nate's eyes is like a dagger being driven into Laura's soul. She looks up at him, helpless and hurting, not knowing what to do, or how to fix this whole big mess. She just wanted to feel good again... she just wanted to know where she belonged and who she was, and stop questioning herself. She just...

Laura looks up quickly as Nate starts to walk away. His parting words sting like nothing else. "Nate, no."

She stands up, her mind and heart pulled in two completely different directions. "I didn't... I mean... please just..."

Totally frustrated with herself, the irritation overrides the sorrow. Spying the ax on the ground, she picks it up, gripping the handle tightly and glaring at it. Giving a yell, she turns around and hurls it at the wood pile. It lands squarely into a log, splitting it down the middle. She was so hurt by recent events. She was so angry. She was so scared. Her emotions were off the charts every whichway, and she didn't know how to control them.

Spinning back around, Laura glares at Nate on route to the house. "Why do you do this to me?! I want to hate you and I can't! I want to push you away and all I can do is think about you! I want to let you go so you can live without my own hassles, and all I can do is think about how much I love you! Why do I have to be so stuck, Nate?! Why?!!"

No weakness

Tighting her own fingers around Axel's Jess listens to what he had to say. Jess loved taking in his words and just listing to them. Each one held a meaning of its own, each tone had a new emotion in it.

Getting hung up on Axel's sentince about the rainbow coming on its own she stops and thinks. What Axel said made sence in more than one why. Why rush anything in time when it was right it would come to be itself.

Scooting a little closer to Axel Jess leans in and gives him a soft kiss to the cheek. Before pulling away just a little and lookin deep into Axel's eyes. There was a differance between Axel and Carson a differnt feeling she felt. This one seemed, almost like it was more real than the other. It was a frighting feeling, but exciting at the same time.

"Thank you Axel. You make me feel so good you know that and I just....thank you."

Jess continues to look Axel in the eyes as her face still stayed close to his the smile on her lips, and the twinkle in her eye.

Looking down at Laura's hand it almost feels like someone has taken a sleghammer to his heart. Everything he felt, his reason for being here was thrown aside and even now Laura had turned him away.

"You dont always have to do things by yourself. There is no weakness in asking for help."

Feeling the tears well up in his eyes Nate stands letting Laura's hand slip from him. She was letting him go, she had broken up with him and that thought alone braught more tears to Nate's eyes.

Turning back to Laura the tears that feel from Nate's eyes glissen in the moonlight. Bringing a hand to the side of her face Nate aims with persition at running his finger gentil along her skin missing the cuts she had. Trying to give a smile Nate know it fales but trys anyways maybe to make his ownself feel better.

"I love you to Laura more than anyone I ever have before."

Dropping his hand from her face Nate lets out a small sigh trying to choak back the tears.

"I'm sorry I came and bothered you after you said you didnt want to see me. I just...wanted to make sure you were ok."

His voice quivering just a little Nate turns and makes his way back the path he had come placing his hands in his pockets. He'd go back to the house and say goodbye and thank you to Paula and Dan than he would leave. He did not belong here not anymore.

All on its own

Axel's heart gives a little start as Jess' hand cradles the side of his face. It was warmer and softer than he'd expected. He can feel the heat coming to his cheeks, and he's glad that it's dark. He might be confident in many many areas, but this was not one of them. This... right here... this was all new to him.

He swallows hard, wondering if he liked or hated it that his pulse had started to race. His voice comes out quieter, almost a whisper as if he's afraid he will say the wrong thing and shatter the moment.

"It's impossible for a rainbow to be too far from the storm. It's the storm itself that provided the way for the rainbow to shine to begin with..."

Without looking down, Axel shifts his hand so his fingers curl around Jess'. "A rainbow can't be caught any easier than the storm can be tamed. It's a wild animal, resisting capture. But feed it lightning, give it the thunder and bring the rains, and it will come... the rainbow will come all on its own."


Laura's gaze wanders everywhere but Nate's eyes, and she paces just a little. Finally though, she stops, and her focus lands on his stare. Those gentle eyes looked back at her with all the love and hope she'd ever seen. Never had she thought that a man could look at her the way he did.

"Oh, Nate." A half a smile is forced to the surface. Tears wanted to come, but she held them back, making her eyes glisten. She reaches up with her hand to run along the side of Nate's face. "I know I've made you feel left out. Even if I haven't acted like it, you have... become such an important part of my life."

Something close to a laugh comes out. "Even after all the trouble I gave you in the beginning. You stuck it out, and... I've always been impressed with that. You're not like other men I know. Your heart is so big and... and I can't even understand how you love someone like me. But I know you do. And... and I love you too."

Laura swallows hard and she finally sits back down, turning her head to bravely look at him as he continues. "But... I need to feel a whole lot more than just love right now. I've... I've been broken and I don't know how to fix it. I've been scared and I don't know where to find my confidence again. I... I just don't know who I am anymore, Nate, and..."

Searching Nate's eyes, she knows that with every word she spoke, and every second that passed, she was breaking just a little more of his heart. Reaching over, she takes his hands in hers. "I need to find myself again... I need to figure out who I am again and where I belong and what my purpose is again. And... I need to do that... on my own."

If she hadn't been so determined, an onslaught of tears surly would have come. She had no idea what this choice would mean. She had no idea how it would affect the future, good or bad. She had no idea if the paths ran parallel to meet up again, or if they went in opposite directions.

Laura looks down again. "I do love you, Nate," she says quietly. "But if... if you want to move on, I understand. I just... I don't know when I'll be ready to... to marry you. And... it's not fair, me keeping you waiting."