By some chanse

Feeling Jade lean on him and not expecting it Dan gives a small jump but recovers quickly. It felt strange to have someone leaning on him like this again but there was a warm softness that made him slip his arm around Jade and letting his hang over her shoulder.

"Nah, I'm sure he does. It just seems like he has a lot on his might right now. Maybe when things calm down you can ask him again if you can stay."

Leaning his head down for a moment Dan gives the soft sent of Jade's shampoo and feels her soft hair on the side of his face. A sudden and unexpected lump forming in his throat. Managing to swallow it Dan lifts his head closing his eyes for a moment letting the strange feeling he has pass. Than opening his eyes again he looks to the stars his voice coming out a soft whisper.

"And if by some bogus chanse he doesn't want you around than he's not as smart as I though he was."

Ryan rolls her eyes but was thankful Leo's sense of humor was still in tact. If anything with a little help that alone told her he would be ok. Looking at her brother Ryan nods not even hesitating.

"Yeah, he can come to my place thats fine. Come on lets get him up and some place warm."

Moving to Leo's one side Ryan gentily slings his one arm over her shoulder while she waits for someone to take the other side.

"Come on Leo lets get you some place warm and cleaned up."

Seeing Gunner come around the corner and into the livingroom Bree's eyes twinkle. She still felt strange about what she said earlier but if she didnt bring it up or act different things would be the same right?

"Hey Hey Vamp. We got normal pizza here..."

Bree rolls her eyes and scoffs.

"..Normal. And we have crustless on this side."

Bree moved her eyesbrows up and down making it clear she liked that side the best.

"So we got the food, we got the pizza now we need a game or a movie or something."

Looking up at Gunner Bree pats the coution on the coutch next to her signaling she would be sitting on the floor so if he wanted to take the place he could right between her and JT.

"You can sit here. I promise I wont bite, hard."

Listing to Mick's words Rosetta chocks on her own tears. Her mind listens and process everything he said carefuly to catch what he said and over come her own silly emotions. But as Mick continued to talk the tears fell from Rosetta's eyes as she couldn't controller them any longer.

Taking her hand from Mick's Rosetta reachs out and pulls him to her wrapping her arms around him. Burrying her face into his shoulder she is quiet for a moment as the tears continue to fall.

"I was so silly to have those feelings, and I am sorry I didn't tell you sooner Mick."

Finally letting go of him Rosetta looks Mick in the eye once again. She had, had all these fears and though they were still there they seemed to dull with Mick's words. He told her things, he never had before, and she new how he felt about her, the past and the present.

"I never new you felt all those things Mick, and I never new thats how you felt about me. I'm sorry if you didnt understand me before, and I'm sorry if I seemed like I didnt want you to care about Dylan because thats not what I was saying at all. I care about Dylan like he was my own son and I want to be a step mom to him, and Jade."

Looking down at Mick's hands for a moment Rosetta ran her thumb over his calluses and the rough area's on his hand. To her, they were soft, and they were the hands that protected her and there little family here.

"No matter how many times you slip, as long as you dont try to hurt us I will always be there for you. You dont have to go through it alone, no matter what I am here."

Awkward

Jade can't help another laugh. "Mm... that dream might never come true. Dad's a tough cookie..." Her smiles fades as she recalls arguments with Mick. "...too tough sometimes." She sighs. "But I love him. I just wish I understood him."

Letting her body shift to the side, her head rests on Dan's shoulder. "I really don't want to go back home. I do like it here... I'm just not sure he wants me, ya know?"


As Ryan comes skidding around the corner, Leo feels a bump to his leg and he grunts, cringing as Ryan calls out. "Good grief, woman," he mumbles. Squinting, he tries to focus on her face. "Lets not... not panic, shall we?"

He sucks in his breath, wincing. "What're y...you doing here, hmm?"

Hearing Ryan's call, Eli sprints in her direction followed quickly by Miles. "Ryan what..." Eli skids down next to her, not having to finish his question. "Oh man... Leo."

Miles' eyes are wide. "Is he okay?"

Eli reaches down to feel Leo's pulse. "He's alive."

Leo coughs. "How 'bout you ask... the half-dead guy, huh?"

Miles laughs. "Still got your sense of humor."

Eli is still checking him over, kneeling next to Ryan. "We gotta get him to a hospital."

"No!" Leo winces. "Please... please no... just... just take me home."

Eli shakes his head. "You're hurt and-"

"Please?"

Eli sighs. "We're at least going to help you."

Miles looks at his watch. "Ron should still be at the shop if we want to take him there."

"Too dirty." Eli looks to Ryan. "Can we take him to your place?"


JT grins and gives Bree a loving hug. He laughs as she looks around for Gunner. "No... you didn't scare him too bad. He's here. Should be any minute anyway."

He moves to the living room to set everything around so the three of them could sit on the couch and share the pizza from the coffee table.

Gunner hears Bree and takes a deep breath. Why he suddenly felt a little awkward around her, he didn't know. Well... maybe he did know. But what she'd said to JT didn't change anything, right? Everything was still the same.

Splashing a bit of cold water on his face, he looks himself in the mirror, but gives up on making himself look any better. After looking at the photos, his appetite wasn't quite what it was a while ago, but he'd join JT and Bree as planned and no ruin their evening.

Coming from the bathroom, he wanders back down the hall and to the living room, his hands tucked partway in his jeans pockets. "Hey..." A wry grin emerges. "Bringer of the pizza made it."

He stands awkwardly and scratches the back of his head. "Um... hi."


Rosetta's whole reasoning catches Mick off guard. Having thought she was just jealous or overreacting, hearing what she had to say was a bit of a shock. He'd never known she felt this way... had these kinds of fears or feelings.

Staring at her across the table, he just blinks, his mouth partway open. Amazement appeared in his eyes. Amazement for his blindness, and amazement that these feelings could even exist. But here was his wife, admitting how she really felt.

"Rosetta, I..." He stops again and leans back in his chair, his eyebrows raised in bewilderment as far as knowing what to say. His anger was suddenly gone. There was something bigger that needed to be fixed before saving his pride.

Taking a deep breath, he lets it out slowly, and looks down at the table for a few moments. He hadn't planned on talking about this, but apparently Rosetta needed him to rewind much further than the last couple days.

Mick rises from the table, looking as though he's going to leave, but instead, he moves around the table to sit next to Rosetta. Reaching across the corner of the table, he takes her hands in his before lifting his eyes to gaze straight into hers. He could see the tears that wanted to come, and they hurt like daggers.

"I have never... ever... loved anybody like I love you." He keeps his eyes locked with hers, his tone even and serious. "I married Jill... yes, I did. I was upset about losing every friend I had at the hands for the Agency. I was lonely. I was tired of fighting. Did I love Jill? Yes." Mick swallows hard, but he won't break his gaze. "Yes, what developed between her and me was love. Would I have stayed with her, had she not thought I was having an affair? I don't know. We had problems. Lots of them, after the honeymoon stage was over. I can't say if I would have stayed with her or not. But I didn't. Bad things happened and my world was torn apart all over again. And all over again, I was alone and tired. I threw myself into my work, not even realizing who I was working for, I was so blind. Then even that fell apart. My drinking got worse, everything was out of my control all over again. And then something special happened."

His grip tightens on her hands. "You. ...You happened to me all over again. The woman I'd lost came back into my life, and I realized for the first time that there was enough room in my heart to love someone even more than I ever had before. Jill and I... I wouldn't have married her, had I not loved her. But you..." He stops, his expression almost one of anguish. "...I'm just glad that I didn't see you again while I was still married. Because, God forgive me, I don't know what I would have done. There was a piece of my heart that always belonged to you... I'd just covered it up with other things so I didn't live life in misery."

Shifting his weight, Mick cocks his head slightly so he can still see Rosetta's eyes. His voice had grown quieter and quieter. "Do you understand what I'm saying? I don't care if I experienced a wife and family before you. I don't care if you and I won't have our own kids... or that money goes into the ranch. And when you come inside at night, your hair a mess with manure stuck to your boots, I love you even more than the day before."

He stops, finally breaking his gaze. His voice wavers just a little, his fingers trembling slightly. "I'm... I'm sorry that I'm not strong enough to fight the battle against alcohol. I'm sorry that I'm not strong enough to trust others to keep my family safe. I'm sorry I'm not man enough to come and talk to you about my problems."

By now, his head his hanging. "I just... God gave me three kids and... and... and I go crazy when one of them is in danger."

His thumb rubs Rosetta's hand as a bead of sweat runs down the side of his face. With his emotions on a rampage, his craving was getting worse. He was fighting so many things at once, and he just wanted this stupid tension to end. He just wanted peace again. "I'm... I'm just sorry," he whispers. "I don't know what else I can say."

mistake

Taking her tea and sitting down across from Mick Rosetta sips it just letting him talk. She would listen, keep her feelings in check and than answer. Though it was hard she had to keep her own emotions in controlle and not let them fly. BJ was sleeping and the last think she wanted to do was wake him.

"Mick, did I answer you yesterday when you asked about BJ? No, I didn't so your assuming I would let you go than to when in fact I still would be upset if you did. There would be nothing we could do if BJ was missing ether. I would have told you the same thing I did yesterday that you place should be here and if they needed us, than they would contact us just like I did with Katie when she feeling like a daughter to me."

Letting out a sigh Rosetta looks down to the small ripples of her tea. This was so silly, she felt like a little lost kid all over again with many more responsibility on her shoulders. Why did have to be hard?

"Mick, I know I am not second best, and I know you love BJ and me both but I cant help having that feeling anyways. This one is not your problem its mine but its still there and it hit when you ran off. I felt like I wasnt good enough because you didnt even bother to come and talk to me first. You went off and got drunk out of your mind, than you snapped at BJ, and Me. I guess it was just a chain reaction."

Looking up at Mick again Rosetta kept her tears that wanted to come at bay. This was not the time, and though she felt so strange she felt so fradgle too.

"I guess sometimes when I think about it your my first for everything, but I am not your first. I can't give you kids, all the money I have goes into this ranch, I am rough and tumble looking, I just worry that I'm not good enough. Stupid to think that yes, but I just cant help it. I guess I always womdered why if I was good enough you never married me first?!"

Rosetta didnt know if she made sence, and she didnt know if Mick would understand or not. She hoped he would or at least ask some questions if he didnt so she could try and explain a little more.

Gotting out of the car and going over to Leo's an almost panic look cross her face. There was only one person who came to mind with damage like this. Opening the door and looking into the car Ryan looks for anything that might tell her where Leo was now but comes up empty handed.

Shaking her head and throwing a look of worry to her brother Ryan turns her eyes again to the ground looking at the many tire tracks but there was one set she was looking for. Finally finding it she follows it a little way noting it went twords the abandon buildings.

"Guys..."

Ryan continues to follow them as she got closer and closer the sicking feeling in her stomach growing by every moment fearing the worse. Hearing some noises by one of the dumpsters Ryan turns her head quick not sure what the noise was.

Squinting just a little Ryan can make out a foot from the other side of the dumpster. Panic grasps her chest as she breaks out into a run.

"ELI...GUYS...HURRY."

Coming around the dumpster Ryan slids on the ground ignoring the pain that shot through her wrist as she landed on it funny.

"Leo, Leo...SOMEONE HELP."

Letting out a small sigh Dan pushs off the ground and movies to the bale of hay next to Jade just thinking for a moment.

"My dreams were put out a long time ago. Now I just to take it one day at a time and see what that brings me."

Leaning back and turning his head to see Jade a small smile forms on his face. His past was sad, depressing, and something he hated to talk about. He'd rather just stay off the topic for now. Dan had just formed his friendship with Jade he didnt want to end it so soon.

"I guess maybe I dream of one day winning the trust of your father."

Dan can't help the small chuckle that escaped his lips.

Not even bothering to knock on the front door Bree enters a pizza box and some soda in hand.

"All ashore thats coming ashore, get it while its hot or I am eating it all."

Setting the box down on the table along with the soda Bree opens the pizza up smiling at the side that to anyone else would look like a horrible mess up by the pizza shop. Turning to see her Uncle Bree's eyes twinkle as she gives an excited wave, walking over to him and giving him a kiss on the cheek.

Backing up a little Bree pokes her head into the living and than the kitchen but not seeing Gunner she looks back to her uncle and raises her eyebrow.

"I really did scare Vamp off didn't I?"

Don't understand

Miles speaks before Eli can even answer Ryan. "Naw, Leo would never do a think like that... I mean, this is Leo we're talking about. He's not a coward but... since when have you seen him start a fight?"

"Trouble is," Eli reasons, "he didn't start this one."

"Tell you what." Ron takes control of the conversation. "If we still haven't heard anything in another hour when we're done with the work day, we'll look for him, alright? Maybe it's for nothing, but it might make us feel better. Okay?"

It's agreed, and work resumes, though no one really wants to admit how worried they are about their friend. Even Darrel comes in later, expressing his concern, and agreeing that someone should at least check out the desert area where the races were held.

At five, all the guys shut down a little faster than normal. Darrel is already gone, and Ron agrees to stay at the shop in case Leo shows up or calls. Jed opts to go check out a couple bars where Leo has hung out before, while Miles hitches a ride with Eli and Ryan in her car. There aren't any races tonight, but they head in that direction anyway, hoping for a clue at the least.

Getting outside town and towards the abandoned buildings and desert area, the scene is deserted. The setting sun casts long shadows over the empty, unofficial race site. It appeared no one was there, until Eli spots a car off to the side. "Looks like somebody left their junker here."

"That's no junker." Miles' tone was strained. "That's Leo's car."

The windshield was smashed, the driver's side window was gone. Lights were bashed out, and multiple dents made it apparent that someone had taken a baseball bat to the vehicle.

Eli lets out a low whistle. "Somebody had some fun."

Parking near the other car, the passengers get out and scan the area.

"Leo!" Miles shouts. No response. "Hey, man, you here?!" Nothing.

Eli gives Ryan an uneasy look. "What do you think?"

Not too far away, hear one of the dark buildings, a figure is curled up behind a dumpster. He didn't know how long he'd been there... he thought maybe a night... it felt like it maybe. In reality, it had been since the late night before. A cold wind creeps behind the dumpster and Leo shivers. His whole body felt like a great big dead weight. His face was cut and bruised, sporting two black eyes, a split lip and multiple cuts on his cheeks. His own knuckles were skinned, proving he'd done all he could to fight back.

Not knowing what had roused him, his eyes close once more. But there it was again. He'd heard his name that time, clear as day. Trying to roll over, he groans. Everything hurt. As he tries to sit up, his foot huts a couple empty beer cans, sending them rattling out from under the dumpster.


Jade laughs and shakes her head. "As much as it costs to go to Hawaii, I think I should probably stick to something a little less frivolous."

Cocking her head, she takes a deep breath of the night air and just studies Dan for several moments. Leaning back, she squints a little, sensing some melancholy. She wasn't sure why, but even though he'd been listening, she sensed he'd been in a whole other world at the same time. "What about you?" she asks softly. "What's your dream?"


"So whatcha gonna do now?" JT brings several glasses into the living room, waiting for Bree and the pizza to arrive.

Gunner has been wandering the living room, checking out family photos on the wall. He was so absorbed that he didn't even hear JT's question.

JT ambles up behind him, following Gunner's gaze to a picture that was taken years ago at a family Christmas gathering. JT was present with others who maybe were his parents and siblings or cousins. Everyone was smiling, and wrapping paper was all over the floor. There were kids present, grinning from ear to ear and clutching what were probably new toys.

"Mm... that was a while back," JT muses.

Gunner almost jumps. "Yeah." He keeps on thinking, feeling as though he wanted to reach out and touch the photo. "I wonder if I had any family Christmases like this."

JT suddenly realizes why Gunner had been so far away. "I bet you did... I bet you had happy times."

Gunner furrows his brow, unsure. "You know... I often thought maybe I did... but then I keep remembering that no family showed up when my parents were gone. So if I did have good Christmases..." He pauses. "...I guess they were short-lived."

JT purses his lips, feeling bad for the younger man. Gunner had a lot of layers to him... and the lowest ran quite deep. JT's question was still unanswered, but he didn't think he'd ask again. The sound of a car provides the out. "Sounds like the food's here. Hungry?"

"Starving." Gunner pulls himself away from the pictures, shifting gears. "I'm... just gonna go... clean up, if that's ok."

"Sure, sure." JT gestures down the hall towards the bathroom. "Second door on the right."

"Thanks."

JT makes sure he's headed in the right direction before going to open the door for Bree.

Gunner shuts the bathroom door and leans back against it for a moment, taking a deep breath. He was exhausted, and he'd thought his feelings and thoughts about his parents would at least take a break with all he'd been through at the hospital. But apparently it had just made it easier for everything to continue surfacing.

Feeling not quite in control, he just wanted a moment to regroup before going back out to see Bree and eat.


Mick's shoulders drop even a little more, hearing Rosetta's words. Why were things so difficult all of a sudden?

He tries to interject a defense, but stops himself before saying something he regretted, and lets Rosetta finish instead. Sinking down at the table, he puts his head in his hands until she's said what she will. "Do you think I have forgotten about BJ?"

He lifts his eyes, shaking his head. "Don't you think I realize I have two sons now? Or that I have responsibilities here?"

Waiting for Rosetta to join him, he takes a deep breath. Yes, he was tired. He was exhausted. But this couldn't wait. Keeping his temper in check was not his strong point, but right now he had to keep calm. There was a sleeping child down the hall that he did not want to wake.

"You got upset yesterday when I asked you if you would act the same if it was BJ. But I didn't think it was unfair of me. You don't want me putting Dylan ahead of BJ, but why do I need to put BJ ahead of Dylan? It's a two way street, and I'm the one that's stuck in the middle, looking for the balance."

Mick stops, trying to put together his muddled thoughts, while trying to keep his tone down as well. "I know that... that there's a part of my life that you were never part of. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry you can't understand where I'm coming from. When I married you and we adopted BJ, yes, I started a new life. Yes, I accepted a whole lot more responsibilities. But that doesn't mean I forget my other family altogether. I have Dylan... and I have Jade. If it were BJ that was missing, you can bet your life I'd be doing the very same thing here... and it hurts to think that in that case, you wouldn't mind, but when it's Dylan, you try to keep me here. I just..."

He shrugs lamely. "I guess I don't understand."

Crustless

Looking to her brother as he joined the small group Ryan cant help the look of worry that pass over her face. Leo might be made at her and they might not be dating anymore but he still ment a great deal to Ryan and she was worried.

"You don't think he did anything stupid do you Eli? We know first had what Roth is capable of with no worry about getting caught."

Ryan hadent even noticed she moved a little closer to her brother and was holding his arm lightly as she might had when she was younger.

Dropping her hands from Eli's arm Ryan looks back at the others. She couldnt help the sicking feeling she felt in the bit of her stomach. Something was wrong she could feel it, but there was nothing she could do about it right now.

Her cheeks were horribly red but hearing Gunner's comment at least told her he was not going to high tail it out of there never to talk to her again. That made her feel a little better.

"Yeah, I'll pick up the half crustless Pizza, and tell Vamp to bring the blo...I mean soda."

Bree can't help her chuckle that escapes her lips.

"I'll see you guys in about an hour and a half."

Hanging up the phone Bree just sits on the edge of her bed for a moment blinking into the dimly lit room. She really couldnt believe she nearly just spilled her guts to her Uncle with Gunner sitting right there. Leting out a sigh and standing to gather her things together and take a shower a small smile forms in Bree's lips.

Listing to Jade talk Dan looks out across the back part of the ranch. Soft mooing from cows far away, joined in to the nicker of some horses that were left out for tonight in the field. The sound was soft and soothing mixed with Jade's voice it set the stage as Dan's mind wonders to the love he once had.

"Its not big but I though for now it would be ok!"

Dan leads a slender brown haired woman into a small old apartment. It wasnt the best place but it wasn't the worst ether. It had two bedroom, a bathroom, kitchen and a livingroom. For now it was just what they needed.

The slender woman rested a hand on her stomach that pushed out from her shirt proving there was more than just two people in this discussion, just one had yet to be born into this world, her other hand locked with Dan's.

"Its perfect Dan, as long as its a roof to keep us dry and a table to put our food. I am happy."

Smiling back at the woman Dan ran his hand along the side of her face pushing some hair behind her ear.

"Your perfect Becca, a diamond among rocks. You could do so much better and yet, you gave up your whole life for me."

"It was worth it Dan, love was worth it."

Light catches the courner of Dan's eye coming from around the corner at the main house where BJ and Rosetta were bring Dan back from his though he sit up a little to streach and than leans back again.

Though his mind had been far away remember a time long gone Dan had still caught everything Jade had said. Giving a little nod he turned to look at Jade once more. Her honesty was amazing, and her head in the right direction, even if some detours were made he couldn't say he hadn't had them ether.

"Thats not corny at all. It's strange how dreams can change over the years. To something new, or something only a little different from the original, and sometimes even dieing away completely."

Letting out a small sigh Dan new the last part well, he two once had a dream of life and love. It was all planned out, he was set and he was happy. But one stupid choose, one stupid mistake had changed all the forever sending the comfortable life he would have crashing down. A small wetness formed in Dan's eyes at the though. Trying to change the subject and push the memories away once more Dan gave a little smile.

"Hawaii huh? Now that sounds like a dream worth holding on to and not changing."

Backing up a little so Mick could enter the house. Rosetta was happy to see him but she still could shake the strange feeling she had. It was not something she was use to having around Mick, and it always felt awkward.

"I am glad your back."

Was all she could manage to say. Why was it hard to find the words she wanted, why didnt she just reach out and pull him into a hug. This was not like her when it came to Mick. But than when Mick's next words come Rosetta understood because deep down somewhere she new he still didnt understand a word she had said.

"Well, if your angry for that than your angry for nothing because I wasnt trying to give you a guilt trip at all. I was simply stating a fact that most people would agree with. Also I wasnt angry with you because you wanted to find Dylan, I was angry with you because you were leaving your responsibility here behind."

Letting out a long sigh and rubbing a hand over her face the lines under her eyes said she was stressed and more than likly had been crying alot. She felt so confused herself and the emotions she was had just seemed still but they were there and the worry layed behind her eyes.

"Staying here and trying to find Dylan is fine. Just dont forget you have another son too. The last few days he has been pushed aside when all he's wanted to do was spend time with you. He's starting to grow so fast that he is interested in everything Daddy does."

Going to the cabnit and pulling out to coffee mugs Rosetta feels them with water to start some tea. Keeping her back to Mick she works quietly for a moment before turning around.

"I think there are somethings we need to talk about. I'm not sure what, or even how to say everything but I just dont think this issue will be cleared up not will we be able to get past it unless we do. So we can eather do it now, or wait I'll leave that one up to you in case your tired."