In touch

Slowly getting to her feet Katie quietly movies still not liking the feeling she was getting. Whispers she lets other other two know.

"I'm going with him, I have a bad feeling and I dont like it. Weather he is one of us or not he is still a TJY member and if anything happend I would feel horrbale for not trusting my instinaacts. Dont worry I might not be next to you but I will still have contact with you."

Katie taps to her head and winks at Jason before going back down the trail after Ryder.

"Wait up...I am coming to. I dont want you going alone, I just have a bad feeling."

Hope gives a nod to Scott and smiles.

"Tomarrow about noon, hows that sound?"

She was glad Scott had made this decition. It was just another step in the big picture.

Blame

Ryder’s eyes narrow slightly, and he keeps his voice down, though it’s strained. “Look, nobody scares me away. But I know when I’m not wanted or needed. As for blowing our cover, if you think I’m that stupid, then I probably shouldn’t be out here at all.”

His eyes stare into Katie’s for a long moment. The teasing from last night wanted to come out again, but it was held back.

“I’ll go check the trail below. You three take your time.” Sliding back out of sight from below the cliff, he gets to his feet, slinging his backpack over his shoulder and aiming back down the trail.

Carson grunts his disapproval, but doesn’t stop him. He blamed himself. He’d been stupid. He shouldn’t have said what he had. But now he had to concentrate on the mission, not Ryder.


Scott gives Hope another small nod. “Alright… but… no… don’t give me a week.” He looks back up at her again. “I’ll only talk myself out of it. I’ll… I’ll go because I want to… because… I know I need to. Just… can we do it maybe like tomorrow?”

Little bit

Katie rolls her eyes and looks to Jason with a smile.

I think those two are worse than us women.

Turning back to scout everything once again Katie trys to consintrate as the other two continue to go back and forth. Feeling Ryder swat her leg and thinking best of him going back alone Katie turns to look over her shoulder at him.

"Do you really think its a good idea to go back by yourself because I dont. So come back over here and sit down before YOU blow our cover. Unless this killer over here really did scair you away than you can SIT there."

Katie wasnt sure why but the thought of Ryder going back to the cabin alone made her feel uneasy and she just did not like the feeling at all. Highting her own sences just a little Katie trys to keep more alart scaning the area around them and keeping on high alart.

Hope smiles. She did want what was best for Scott and she wanted to help him try to be able to function again as a human for his own sake.

"Its your choise Scott and I want you to go because you want to go. So take all week to think about it and decied. We will only be out for how ever long you want to be out. Its all up to you, we do it on your tearms."

Hope ment that. She wanted to do this for Scott, and letting him make the desitions himself showing him he did still have his own free will.

If you want

Ryder squints his eyes just a little, a grin turning up the corner of his mouth. “Cocky little sheila, aren’t we now?”

Carson gives him a sidelong glance. “You think pride in abilities is cocky? You did ask her.”

“I expected more of what she’d contribute to this mission. Not her tolerance of pain or ability to remember.”

“What she’s good at really isn’t your concern,” Carson retorts. “You’re here to help us get in. Period. Remember?”

“Oy, settle down, mate.” Ryder props himself up on his elbows, taking a bit more of a defensive stance. “You want me out of this, just say so. Looks like you got everything under control. I’ll just go back to the hut and sit if that’s what you like.”

Carson rolls his eyes. “We need all the help we can get. But you should just trust Reese for sending the right team and leave it at that.”

Ryder sighs and settles back down on his stomach to watch the Agency building. “If I’da known a bloke would get into so much trouble just for opening his mouth, I’da shut up a long time ago. It’s about time I left this job for good.”

Jason shakes his head, looking through the binoculars.
I suppose I could ask if all Aussies argue like this, but I doubt it would do too much good at this point.

Carson smirks at Ryder. “Maybe all you should do is think before opening your mouth.”

“Maybe I should just leave you lot to yourselves then ay?” Ryder sits up to rock back on his heels, and gives Katie’s leg a swat. “If you’re all that, then try to keep this Aussie in line, will you? He’s liable to blow this cover if he keeps talking like that.” Though making a joke of it, it’s obvious in Ryder’s eyes that he’s put out, and feeling it would be best if he just went back to the cabin and let the other three scout by themselves. He turns to leave.


Scott takes the tissues from Hope and blows his nose, looking down as he feels like a total idiot for such a display, even if he couldn't help it. The tears sting his blind eye and he winces, squinting it shut until the painful sensation passes.

Leaning back against the window, he takes a deep breath, trying to bring himself out of his emotional state. He gives a little nod. He knew he'd made progress. It was hard admitting that he really needed all this help to begin with, but he couldn't deny it... if he hadn't been getting this kind of help, he'd still be stuck with Rick watching him like a hawk, not to mention he'd still be scared of his own shadow.

Swallowing hard, he finally looks at Hope again. "I... I don't know. Every time I'm out, I just... I freeze up." His eyes go down again. "But... I'll go... if you want me to."


Axel tries to keep himself busy, but it's hard. He didn't know what was going to happen now. He didn't know what to do... but he had to prepare for the worst - and that was losing his job completely, as well as losing his place to live. It was a depressing thought, but one he'd been prepared for for a long time. But he had to press on. He could find another job. He could find another place to live.

Sighing, he gets up from his chair. He could go hang out with Phil and Mike before the concert and help them load up. He knew they wouldn't object to his presence. He could just say he got off work early.


"Who else knows him as well as I do?" Tears fill Taylor's eyes, heat coming to her face. She knew this was pointless, and she felt embarrassed over the whole thing. But it still hurt. She paces her apartment. "Who else knows that his favorite flavor of ice cream is plain vanilla? Or that he doesn't like the color olive green? Or that he thinks the best temperature is seventy-three degrees? Or that..."

"Taylor..." Joel interrupts her and stops her from pacing by putting his hands on her shoulders. He looks her in the eye, gentle but firm. "You're gonna have to let this go."

Taylor's lower lip trembles. "Did you know that he wears dogtags that have his first and middle names on them?"

Joel shakes his head. "I guess I've seen a chain around his neck but I didn't know what it was, no. But..."

"See? He's been with us for over a year and I've learned all the little things, and I've worked so hard just to get close to him, just so he'd give me second glance. And he still won't even ride in my car with me!"

Joel sighs and makes her sit on the couch with him. "He doesn't go anywhere alone with any woman, you know that."

"He does with Jess," Taylor mumbles.

Joel rolls his eyes. "Jealous?"

Taylor looks down and sniffs. "Maybe. He hardly knows her... how come he'll let her into his zone and not me?"

"I don't know. But if Axel doesn't have feeling for you, there's nothing you can do about it. You've done all you can, you let him know how you feel, and if he doesn't want that, then you're just gonna have to let it go."

"But..." Taylor wipes her eyes with the back of her hand, feeling foolish. "I've made an idiot out of myself. How can I even face him?"

A small grin surfaces on Joel's face. Taylor had told him all about what had happened after he'd stopped by to try and get her to come to Cryptic's next practice. "You think he's the type to let that bother him? Knowing Axel, he's probably thinking he's ruined his friendship with you, and probably feels horrible about it."

Taylor looks up at her cousin. "He left a message on my answering machine to apologize. You think he really feels that badly?"

"I'd bet money on it. You're his friend, Tay. He may not care for you the way you want him to, but he does consider you a friend, and a good one at that. Can you live with just being friends with him?"

Taylor sighs and finally gives a little nod. "I think I can." Her eyes plead with Joel. "But don't tell any of the other guys okay? I feel foolish enough the way it is."

Joel chuckles. "I won't tell them. They're worried about you though. Come to our next practice, okay?"

"Alright."

Kunch

Staying close behind Ryder Kaite glances back every now and than making sure Jason and Carson wernt far behind. Moving over the roots and bushes Katie trys to be as quiet as she can be.

Walking for a long way Katie though they might never stop but finally seeing Ryde go down to his belly Katie follows along inch by inch.

Looking over the edge of the cleft Katie takes everything in down below letting off a soft whistle.

"Wow, they really do have the operation going on down there dont they."

Looking over the faces though thye were small Katie could make them out and takes them in. Hearing Ryder's question Katie is silent for a moment before turning finally turning to Ryder a small grin forms on her face.

"Because I am the best."

Giving a shake of her head and a small laugh the glint in Katie's eyes never leaves.

"I have a pretty good memorie. I can take evertything and than at a laster date bring it out again kind of like a camra. Once I see something or someone I never forget, among other talents I shair with people. Not only that, I have been told am good at my job. I can shoot pretty good no matter how much it hurts."

A small smile forms on her face at a memorie.

"I once shot a shot gun with ease while I had a broken arm."

Looking back down at the tarrain below Katie falls silent again just thinking and taking things in.

"So how are we gonna do this?"

Continuing to listen once again Hope follows Scott back into her office. Leaning aganst her desk Hope takes in all the scars that marked. Feeling the strings on her heart being pulled Hope cant say nothing but just listen.

Pusing off the desk she goes around her one of her shelfs and grabs some tissues bringing them to Scott. Finally as he is done Hope is silent for a moment thinking about Scott last statment.

"Oh Scott, I can't tell you if its completely over or not. I am here to help you get to the end resalt but that ending it left up to you."

Walkng close to where was once again Hope lays a gentil hand on his arm.

"But what I can tell you Scott, is you made a BIG BIG step today Scott and your on the right path. Your end is coming soon Scott and before you know it, your not going to need me anymore."

For a moment at the statment Hope feels a bit of meloncoly, a sadness and never seeing Scott again.

"Your doing so good Scott compaired to when you first came here. Yours making great progress. Next time we meet Scott how about doing lunch my treat?"

Continuing

Scott tries to calm himself down, embarrassed for getting sick like this. But he doesn't have the strength to push Hope away. The only thing he could do was accept her comfort and lean into it for support.

His stomach finally settling down, he sits back against the wall for a moment, his face pale, his palms clammy. He takes several deep breaths, his hands starting to shake from the stress. Not responding to Hope right away, he manages to get to his feet again, though a bit wobbly. Going to the sink, he splashes some cold water on his face, trying to pull himself together again.

There were no numbers to describe the way he felt, or what had happened. There was no logical route to get around the pain. There was no mathematical answer to this emotional equation. But speaking the truth now... allowing the memories to be exposed through his words... it brought them into the open - the only place where they could be conquered.

Exhausted, he leans on the sink, lifting his face to see into the mirror. He saw himself, thin, pale, and fading to nothingness. Shifting his gaze, he sees Hope behind him, still there, available and waiting. She said he could be done. She said he didn't have to say anymore. But the valve to open up the stream of emotions and words had been loosened, and the flow did not want to stop.

"They took everything," he almost whispered. All his pride, all his confidence and self-worth had been destroyed. He didn't know how to beat this thing. He didn't know how to overcome the feeling of helplessness... of weakness. Fighting never did any good. He wasn't strong enough.. resistance only meant pain and foolishness.

"Fighting... didn't do any good. I was too weak." His eyes glaze over with a look that signals he's lost in the images of the past. "So I... I gave up." A stray tear runs from his eye, but he doesn't blink.

Pushing off the sink, he wanders past Hope, back to the hallway, and back into the office. His feet wanted to take him the rest of the way, to the exit and outside. But his heart felt pulled somehow to stay... to stay and finally finish what he'd started.

He paces for a moment, feeling as though he were almost stuck in a dream. But with Hope with him again, he forces the words to surface once more, picking up where he'd left off.

"They beat her so bad. And I could have stopped it." His voice starts to waver. "I could have given them what they... what they wanted. But... I didn't. I watched her... slowly die. Blood was everywhere... The concrete stained... the smell didn't go away."

His lower lip begins to tremble, his fists growing so tight at his sides that his knuckles turn white. "Every day I sat in that same cell, living it over and over."

Turning around, he looks at Hope. "His favorite weapon was a chain." He shows how large the links were with his fingers. "Across my back... across my legs. Not hard enough to break anything... just hard enough to tear things up, bruise and bleed."

Scott rolls up his sleeve to reveal a scar that went from his wrist, clear up to his elbow. His hoodie had always hidden it. "It took him three hours to make that. He went clear to the bone. But he made sure I didn't bleed to death." A source of anger is revealed, flashing briefly in Scott's gaze. "No... they wouldn't let me die."

Though more tears come, the words won't stop now. "They used something like a cattle prod when I was at the computer. Any time I refused, or made a mistake, I'd get a shock that would almost knock me out. But when they were really mad, I'd get the shot."

Pulling up his other sleeve, Scott reveals all that's left of the marks left around his veins where he'd been injected time and time again. "I don't know what was in it. But you haven't felt pain until you've been given one of those shots. They only kept those for the very end when they'd given up because afterward, I was in too much pain to function. Half the time I'd pass out, just to wake up in the cell again... cold... tired."

Scott's mind reals with the images that won't stop. They were light a freight train without any brakes. "One time they did get too frustrated, so one of the guys tried to kill me." Lifting up his shirt shows a wide scar in the middle of his rib cage. "But they wouldn't let me die. They just patched me up to see how much longer I could last. All I wanted to do was die, but they wouldn't let me... I finally got sick."

He swallows hard, the fog starting to settle over his mind again. "I don't know how long I was sick... or what happened... I was too weak to remember. I just wanted it to end. I prayed I would die. I'd been told my family and friends had all been murdered... I didn't want to be rescued to face that anyway... I just wanted to sleep and never wake up."

Suddenly, he was at the window again, not even remembering walking across the room. He places a palm on the glass as he often did, feeling the smooth coolness. For some reason, that feeling was a comforting one. There was no harshness... the glass hid nothing, yet was a protective barrier... It absorbed the sun's warmth, yet remained refreshingly cool.

"It's over, isn't it?" Scott slowly turns around to face Hope again, his good eye piercing her own. "The war... the battle... it's over... I don't have to worry about it anymore... do I?"

The question was one of partial knowledge that bringing his fears to light was a form of conquering them... but it was also one of partial pleading that it really would be over soon so he could live again.


Ryder grins as Katie dons the t-shirt. “There we go. Alright then. Off we go.”

Carson motions for Jason and Katie to follow after Ryder, while he takes up the rear. Heading off the porch, the scenery is a gray darkness, insects still singing their lullabies until the sun appears.

Ryder leads the way without a flashlight, his lightweight backpack carrying only binoculars and his canteen. The long knife and gun at his hip signaled he was ready for anything – not expecting trouble, but not to be surprised.

He steps over tree roots and bramble, every so often looking over his shoulder to make sure everyone was behind him. They kept up just as he suspected they would. His own attitude was a little different this morning. He had a mission to carry out, and wasn’t letting his personal feelings get in the way today. While perhaps Katie’s words to him the night before had given him a glimmer of hope, he’d really surrendered to the fact that yet again, there was nothing that could be done about his brother. And as such, he would simply carry out his responsibility to help this team recover the antidote they were seeking.

Jason keeps up behind Katie, his long legs assisting in getting through the brush.

Ryder’s quiet this morning. Guess he’s in a sticky position. Only on-call half the time, but all the time worrying about his brother. Guess maybe if I hadn’t known Brian was on the Agency’s side, I would have gone in too, to save him. Just reminded me on Scott, ya know?

Carson moves stealthily at the rear, keeping his eyes out for anything. It had been a long time since he’d walked this terrain. Yet sometimes it felt as though it had just been yesterday. Looking ahead, he keeps an eye on Katie, though he knew Jason would be doing just that. Though Carson would probably trust Katie more than anybody else on this mission, an alternative motive was to return her safely home. He was in charge of this, and having her hurt or worse was simply not an option.

As the group treks on, the sun begins to peek above the horizon. Through the dense undergrowth, small rays penetrated to light the way with starry brilliance against the persisting darkness.

A small break is taken, but only for a few minutes before Ryder presses the team on. Miles are left behind. A river is encountered, and Ryder scouts out the best point to wade across, his knife drawn, wary of lurking crocodiles. Safely on the other shore, he leads the group further, to finally climb the summit where the secluded vantage point rested.

Ryder leads the way to the edge of the cliff, motioning for everyone to drop to their stomachs to avoid being spotted. Crawling to the edge, he points to the clearing below where a large building stood several stories high. It was almost surreal, as if the scene had been manually generated. The bush was no place to find a business building. But it was there, looking as though it had been transplanted from the city.

“There she is,” Ryder points out. “And she’s busy today, just as I thought she would be.”

“It’s them alright,” Carson confirms. He knew this place. He’d been here. He’d worked here. Some things had changed, but it was memories that guided his thoughts on how to get in, and where things were located.

Men in casual dress were coming and going. It was only a dirt road that led to the building, but it looked used enough to almost be a highway. There were several trucks, and several cars that looked top dollar.

“What’s there angle?” Carson questions. “They used to claim they were an international food shipping warehouse.”

Ryder shakes his head. “Naw. Now they’re listed as a freelance hub. In other words, they say they rent out offices and the like to any businessmen. For example, you could be a lawyer, and set up office here. You could be a telemarketer and rent a block of offices. Funny thing… they’re always full-up.”

Carson rolls his eyes. “I wonder why.”

Jason furrows his brow. “You mean they claim to be that, but nobody can ever get in?”

“That’s right, mate.” Ryder hands him the binoculars. “They set up signs, they have business cards printed, they even have phone lines set up – but it’s all a ruse. If I called a lawyer there, I’d probably just get a spiel about them not taking on any more clients at this time. Sounds official and the feds stay away.”

Carson lies on his stomach, resting his chin on his hands to watch the activity below. “So what’s with all the activity all of a sudden?”

“Don’t know. I haven’t been able to get word from my source in over a week. But the place has been crawling. I don’t know if they’re just getting a new team in so they’re playing switcheroo on everything, or if they’re setting up new fake businesses or what. But the feds still aren’t involved. It’s all just the Agency as far as I can tell.”

“You think it’s something special? Like something going down?”

“No… I really don’t think so. I think it’s just routine stuff. But it’s been too busy to try to get in. There’s just no way to go unseen.” Ryder pauses, letting the group just watch for a while. He turns his head to eye Katie. “So where do you fit in all this? Why did Reese send you?”