So I was told

*Charlotte's eyes show she is pleased that Bret likes the small gift. She had really hoped it would mean alot to him and it apeared to have and for that it made her feel good. She couldn't deny she was growing closer to Bret with each passing day. Charlotte had never felt like this before about anyone before but now she wouldn't pass it up for the world.*

"Well, if you havn't had dinner yet I though we could go out or I could cook something here and than maybe we can watch a movie or play a game. I'm pretty much up for anything as long as I get to be with you."

*Jess walks with Carson enjoying the night air and the cool breeze. It felt good to get out and around, it felt even better to be out with someone. Even though as they walked they didnt talk much Jess was still enjoying herself.

As Carson sits down on the bench Jess just scans the area for a moment before decieding to sit down next to Carson and turn her head upwards herself. It had been a long time since she'd looked and actully payed attachen to the moon. To long indeed and it braught back many memories.*

"When I was younger, I use to sneek away to the top floor of the orphanage and look out the window at the moon..."

*Without even thinking Jess continues to talk. It was a rare thing for her to do so. Most of the time her past was kept to herself.*

"...I always though my parents were looking at it as well, and some day would be back for me. Than as I got older the cold hard truth of life hit me, and I didnt really look at the moon anymore. I guess for some..."

*Jess gives a sidelong glance to Carson knowing there was a deeper maning to his words than what he lead on. The people in his life he loved, and he strived to keep there love.*

"...knowing the people they love could be looking at the same moon, and thinking about them could bring comfort. That is what people should hold onto, because they don't know just how lucky they are to have that in there life. Even if they don't really talk to the person anymore. Just knowing that they once had that how lucky they are. As for me, that was gone along time ago, I never really new what love was or is. Sometimes when I see how people get hurt, or how much trouble it is to have those things I think I'm lucky, but than when I am alone or have a chanse to think I relize just how lonly I truly am."

*Jess lets out a sigh and looks across the park just letting her eyes linger for a moment as her mind wondered. An unexspected tear rolls form her eye as she quickly flicks it away. It had been a long time since she wondered or even thought about her family. Where they were, how they were and if they even remembered her. It braught a new pain to Jess already scared heart and a new confustion of why they had left her. These were questions Jess new she would never get answer and that only made it worse.

Trying to whipe the memories and thoughts from her mind Jess looks to Carson and gives a small smile and than looks back up at the sky with a chuckle in her voice.*

"You know, the first star you see in the sky your ment to make a wish on it. The one you hold the close to your heart will hear it, and your wish might come true. Or so I was told."

*Katie looks down again as Scott talks unable to meet his eyes. Could she do this? Could they really? How would it feel? what would happen? Scott was right they she needed to straghter things out and pick a path to take. She couldnt play both sides but that ment taking time as well to think through everything.*

"If the white rabbit can bear with me, than I think I can try too. I just, don't want to hurt anyone."

*Katie looks up at Scott meeting his eyes, as her own tears finally spill over. Why did she feel like this. Why did it have to hurt so much. Searching his eyes Katie looks, how she loved them, how she loved him and how life wasnt fair.*

"I'm sorry Scott."

*Standing Katie walks over to the booth across from her and slids in next to Scott. Reaching out she wraps her arms around him in a hug. Now caring who was looking, or wondering, Not caring what anyone though. Katie just wanted a hug from him.*

Ornament

Scott finally leans back in his seat, letting Katie’s hands slip from his. A bit of humor sparks in his eyes behind the dullness. “How about cloning yourself so there’s enough Katie to go around?”

He shakes his head. “Oh, Katie…” He sighs. “What are we going to do with you, hmm? You’re just too good to be true…your heart is too big, and your goal to make everyone else happy is too lofty. But if there’s one thing I don’t want you ever to consider is leaving yourself out in the cold. You’re too good for that…and you deserve to have someone love you.”

He looks down for a moment, then back up at her, having grown serious again, the emotions still etched in his face. “No matter what…you can’t worry about hurting me anymore. Because no matter what…I’ll be okay, and I want you to know that. The last time…I was wrong to have reacted the way I did. I hadn’t trusted God enough, and I hadn’t realized that the me I’d become around you didn’t have to die when you weren’t around. Those are the things I see now… so I just think you should know that… well…”

He pauses again, not wanting to say these words, but knowing he must. “…if you wind up saying goodbye to me… I’ll hurt, but it’s not the end. I’ll always want to be your friend… I want more than that, but… being your friend is better than nothing, and…and I would be okay. I just want you to be happy… no matter what. And if staying with me is the answer, then you know I’m thrilled. But if going after Jason is the answer instead, then who am I to stand in your way?”

Scott pushes his plate further to the side, not knowing where to go from here. “I know that you probably can’t sort through all of this tonight, so…” The emotions come flooding back, pooling in his eyes again, though he wills them not to spill over anymore. “…so I think maybe…for now…we just sort of…lighten up a little. And I don’t mean not spend time together… I just mean…”

He shakes his head. “Maybe I don’t know what I mean. I guess I just don’t want to either of us to fall any further if the end result is going to hurt more, so… until you…we… figure this out… no future planning. I’m here for you like I always have been – that’s not going to change. But when you’re ready…when you can think about this and find your way… you need to settle on one path and one only. I wish it could go both ways, but it can’t. It wouldn’t be fair to me, to you, or even to Jason.”

Scott takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. “How ‘bout it, Alice? Can we do this?”


Carson grins as Jess gives him a bad time, and just as she warns him, he backs into a light pole. Hitting the back of his head gives him a slight jolt and he spins around, staggering a little more than necessary as he starts to laugh. “I need some side mirrors or something.”

Giving a sigh, he starts forward straight this time, heading for the park. They walk through town, going by shops that were closed for the night, crossing intersections and dodging other pedestrians.

Arriving at the park, it’s lit with lights throughout, though there is no one else there. The sidewalks are well-lit, but the fountain has been drained for the cold season.

Ambling by some benches and around trees, Carson slows his walk, just letting the night air refresh him. He had a lot of time to think lately…too much time it seemed sometimes. But one of these days he was going to have to move on. It had been slow going so far… but it was time he started looking up again. He’d lost Misty…right now there was nothing much he could do about it, especially if she was now with Kyle. All he could do was try to keep himself going in the right direction and stay that way.

Coming up to another bench, Carson opts to stop walking, and eases himself down. Leaning back, he tilts his head up, searching for the moon. He finds it, though it’s hard. “Well…looks like there are about three stars out tonight,” he muses with a slight chuckle. The streetlights prevented too much star gazing, even when the sky was clear. “Ever wonder who else is looking at them the same time you are?”


“I could go for some good old fashioned wallowing time,” Bret agrees with humor. “But we’ll plan on day after tomorrow ‘cause I got a few things to take care of.”

He settles his head back and just looks into Charlotte’s eyes, her touch relaxing him, putting him in almost a trance-like state.

He blinks though, the moment broken as she goes for her bag, then hands him the necklace. Holding it up and seeing the coin, a wide grin spreads. It was more than just a necklace, it was more than just an inside joke. “I love it, and it’s not cheesy – not to me at least.” Though not one to wear anything other than a watch, he’s not going to just put it away somewhere. “My rearview mirror gets another ornament.”

Reaching up, he pulls Charlotte down for another kiss. “Thank you.”

Finally pulling himself up in a sitting position, he runs a hand through his hair and yawns. “Alright, Miss Lockheart. What’s on the agenda for tonight?

Home

*Katie trys to calm herself down not even relizing what she was probely doing to Scott with her emotions. Sometimes she still forgot. Instince just said to get upset but for Katie she had to try and not do that.

Lowering her emotions a little bit Katie is quiet. Trying to sort things through in her mind. What did she want. What did Katie really want?*

"I don't know what I wan't Scott. I'm so messed up, maybe I shouldn't have anyone and thats the hardest thing of all. I don't like thinking about me, its just makes me happy to see everyone alse happy."

*That was the truth Katie liked seeing others happy before herself thats just how she ticked. Since Katie had started living at her aunts ranch she had stoped worrying about what she wanted because when she did it made her sad. Now she was being told to think about herself first and she didn't want too. Home....was the first thing that poped into her mind. She was awfly home sick if that ment anything. Home....what did she really want.*

*Jess can't help but chuckel at Carson.*

"I don't think your so scary. Well at least to me your not."

*Jess jogs after Carson as he starts to walk away. She just wanted to see Carson anyways so this would work.*

"Hey, your not getting away from me that easly you know. I think a short walk to the part sounds nice."

*After Carson turns around Jess slows a little so she can still see Carson's face and a small smile cross her lips. She diden't want to be alone, she did hate it. And going back to TJY was not to high on her things to do.*

"Mmmm...how could I turn down one of your milkshakes huh? There is just something about them I cant get over. Even if I am not hungry, Helping you close up sounds like fun, the company not being so bad eather."

*Jess gives him a playful elbow to the arm.*

"Your gonna fall on your butt if you don't watch where your going there killer."

*As Charlotte it pulled down to rest of Bret's chest the grin on her lips.*

"Your not ment to sleep when I am coming over though."

*Leaning down Charlotte press her lips to Brets letting it linger for a moment and than pulling away.*

"I thought about calling but I wanted it to be a saprise. Yep done with work for the night and the next two days off. I thought maybe we could spend the time wallowing together or something."

*Charlotte brings her hand up to Bret's face and brushes a bit of his matted hair up before running a hand through it. Sitting up for a minute Charlotte takes the bag that had droped onto the floor and pulls the necklace from it. Laying back on Bret's chest Charlotte's eyes dance hoping he will like the necklace.*

"I saw this and I thought it fit perfect for us. I got one for myself too. If you dont like it let me know. I know its kind of cheesy."

You

Unexpected and unwanted tears well up in Scott’s eyes, as his dominant emotions suddenly flare. The feeling that he wanted to cry was there already, but something was taking it to the extreme, along with a strange nervousness. He blinks, trying to stay on top. “Katie…” His voice is almost a whisper, as a partial smile is forced to the surface.

He leans forward, pulling her hand closer to give it a kiss. “Babe, you’re gonna make me fall to pieces. Try taking it easy, alright?” He remains gentle, knowing that Katie might not even realize what she was doing.

Scott swallows hard, ignoring the tears, and ignoring anyone who might be watching them in the restaurant. He looks Katie in the eye, trying his best not to make a huge deal, but at the same time, not wanting to just pretend that this whole thing was nothing, either.

His fingers tighten their grip, trying to bring comfort, when he himself was full of turmoil. “You…you have been the sunshine in my life… I’m not even sure I can describe what it feels like to have you here…to know you love me… to be able to share my love. You taught me how to love Katie…” Scott’s eyes smile despite the tears. “And for that…I will be forever grateful… forever knowing that you have been one of the greatest gifts I’ve ever received.”

Scott lowers his head for a moment, continuing to try and not be so emotional. “I won’t lie to you… My feelings are hurt and… knowing that you still have love for Jason is… it’s hard to deal with because… because I love you enough that… that I’d want you to love me with your whole heart…”

He pauses, collecting his thoughts. “Katie…if I was confident that we could truly make it together, I’d ask you again to marry me in a heartbeat. But I don’t want to do that to you. I don’t want you to be constantly battling between your love for me and your love for Jason. I don’t want you constantly being afraid that you’re hurting me when your love for Jason shows itself.”

Scott holds Katie’s hands up, resting his elbows on the table, and leaning his forehead on their hands, his eyes hidden. As hard as it was to say these words, he had to. “Sometimes… sometimes you can’t help who you love. I know that first hand… So I can’t… I can’t just ask you to stop loving Jason. Because that might be impossible.”

He raises his head, blinking back a tear and looking at Katie again. “If I knew that eventually you could love only me, I would wait…I would wait an eternity if I knew that would be the end result. But… but I don’t know if that’s true. So maybe…”

Scott lets out a frustrated sigh. “I don’t even know what I’m saying, Katie. Help me out here… what do we do? What happens now? What… where do we go from here? What do you want, Katie? And I don’t want you thinking about what I think, or what Jason thinks, or who’s hurt and who’s not…”

A sternness has entered Scott’s tone, though he remains gentle. “I want you to think about Katie…I want you to think about what you want most... without thinking of anyone else this time. You have a huge heart… that’s what I fell in love with. But it’s so big that you think of others before yourself too often sometimes. You need to do what’s best for you…not me…you.”


Jason's eyes open and he shifts his weight on the couch, straightening out the crick in his neck. Staring at the television for a moment, he focuses, then realizes that something feels a little strange. Something was different... not a lot, but it was there. Katie? Something was bothering her enough that the emotional pull had a strange curve to it. He wanted to ask why, but resisted. He thought he knew.


Carson is relieved that it’s only Jess and that’s she’s alright. He lets out a breath that’s visible in the chilly night air. Instinctively, he takes his free hand to give her shoulder a gentle pat and squeeze. “Hey, calm down, you’re alright. But next time, forget about scenery and take a familiar route so you stop running into scary Aussies like me in the dark, eh?”

He chuckles, and puts his hands in his pockets as Jess backs away. “Nah, no work…I just told Herb I’d be back to help close up later. I thought some fresh air would do me good so I was heading to the park.”

He pauses and cocks his head, knowing that Jess didn’t have too many people now that she’d find company with, and he wasn’t set on being alone. He starts down the sidewalk again, talking over his shoulder. “Unless you were dead set on something at Mom and Pop’s, you’re welcome to tag along.”

He turns to walk backward for a moment, a grin on his face. “And if you really don’t want to go back to TJY for a while, when we get back, you can help me close up, ‘cause I think there’s two milkshakes that will be waiting with our names on them.”


“Mmmm….” Bret groans and rolls over, blinking as he brings Charlotte into focus. “Isn’t that what the night is for?” he mumbles. “Sleeping?”

Without warning, he reaches out, pulling Charlotte down so she’s resting on his chest. Cradling her head, he gives her a warm kiss. “I thought you were gonna call, but this is better. Done with work?”

Lazy Bones

*Katie keeps her eyes down at Scott's hands...so many emotions and things to think of inside. It was hard to know what way was up.*

"No Scott, its not wrong of you. Its not wrong of you at all."

*Katie lets out a long sighl She was lost and confused. Worst of all she new she was hurting Scott.

As Scott talks about Jason never returning the lost she brings her eyes up to search Scott's face. Why would he say something like that? Than it dawns on her Jason and Scott had lunch today, could it be that, that is what they talked about at lunch today? Katie wanted to know but this was not the time for her to reach out to Jason. Surly he would already be able to feel her emotions pull from being upset that was enough.*

"I don't want to hurt you Scott, and I am sorry I have again. I know what I have, and I know I love you. Your right to that this whole thing is not fair to you. I...I don't know how long it will take me to get over Jason and I know it's unfair of me to ask you to wait so I would never do that and on the other hand the thought of losing you kills me inside. I....I don't know, I don't even know what I am trying to say anymore."

*Katie leans back in the booth her eyes still threating to spill over but doing her best to keep them in. Katie felt so confused, so lost, and she felt suddinly alone. This was her fault and she new it, this was her doing because she couldn't keep her stupid feelins inside. Everything was coming apart again because of her.*

*As Jess continues to walk she trys to keep her mind cleared and not on everything alse. Quicking her pace even more and keeping her head down. Turning the courner she always runs into someone. Giving a gasp and a jump Jess takes a few steps backwards. Jess looks up quick and finally relaxes seeing and hearing it was Carson. Steping closer to Carson again Jess takes his arm and leans her face into it for a moment trying to hide her face as the color comes to it. She's been scaire but she hated to addmit it.*

"I was coming to see you but I wanted to take a differnt rout. I was tired of seeing the same thing, and being in that white room."

*Jess finally removes her head from Carson shoulder and looks up at him the emotion aparent in her eyes even though she tryed to hide it as she still held onto Carson's arm.*

"I got myself lost I think, and I guess my mind played tricks on me as well and freaked me out. So, thats why I am here."

*Geting herself to stop shaking Jess relizes she is still holding onto Carson's arm and lets go taking a few steps backwards again.*

"You didn't have to work tonight?"

*Pulling into Bret's driveway Charlotte turns the car off and gives a smile seeing the TV on. Grabing the small bag from the passanger side seat Charlotte gets out of the car and heads up to the door giving a knock. Not receving an answer Charlotte knocks again only to be greeted with silence. Trying the door and finding it lock she reaches into her bag looking for the key. Opening the door and sliping inside she heads into the living room finding Bret on the coutch asleep.

For a moment Charlotte looks down at him and just smiles watching him. Than placing a gentil hand on her shoulder she leans down plating a kiss on his cheek.*

"Bret, you lazy bones. Are you going to sleep all night on me?"

What can I do?

Scott listens to Katie, his eyes slowly drifting downward as he twirls his glass on the table. He slumps in his seat a little, though it’s obvious he’s doing his very best not to jump to conclusions or become upset.

Hearing Katie’s final statement, a half a smile, though vague, surfaces. “Yeah…I know you love me.”

He swallows hard and just lets silence rule for a couple minutes. He understood Katie’s words…but he wasn’t sure he understood how she felt. He felt as though he should shrug the whole thing off, while at the same time he felt jealous and played.

Finally Scott looks up, searching to find Katie’s eyes. “You know… you’ve really turned my world upside down. You’ve taught me so much about myself… you’ve brought out the best in me… you’ve shown me what it’s like to love.” He pauses, offering the same forced smile. “I love you so much…”

Emotions pool behind his eyes. “But I don’t know what to do. If…if you would have said that you were just caught up in the moment, or that there really weren’t any feelings behind that kiss, I think I could have accepted that and been fine. But… but now I know that you still love Jason.”

Scott shifts his weight a little, his discomfort obvious. “I…I don’t know what to say, Katie. I know you love me, and I know that’s real. But…what am I supposed to do now? I almost feel like I’m in a competition for your heart. I guess maybe I’d hoped I’d have the whole thing. Is that so wrong of me?”

His gaze drops again. “I know it was risky of me in the first place to have won you over, practically stealing you from Jason. I knew then, that there was a good chance you’d eventually leave me to go back to him. But I guess… I guess somewhere along the line, I gained confidence that you really would stick it out with me. Even after you left, then wanted to come back…Jason just didn’t seem to be a factor. And now…”

Scott sighs deeply, his hand slowly reaching across the table to stop Katie’s nervous napkin shredding. He takes her hand gently in his, just looking at it, running his thumb across her palm. “I don’t know if I can go on like this…knowing that you love Jason too. I understand it’s hard for you but… it’s not fair to us… to our relationship… if you have feelings for another man. Feelings that… that are obviously strong enough that you acted on them.”

His eyes move up again. “What can I do, Katie… what can I do to win the rest of your heart? Or will you always have a longing for another man who doesn’t even return your love?”


Carson stuffs his hands in his pockets and starts down the sidewalk. The park. It was dark, it was chilly, no one would be there…it would be a nice destination, and a good place to rest before walking back.

Heading down a couple blocks, he crisscrosses a couple streets, then heads around a corner. His ballcap shielding his eyes, and his head bent, he wasn’t paying much attention to where he was going, and as he turns the corner he almost runs right into someone else.

Startled, he stops short and backs up a step, snapping his head up, his eyes wide. Blinking, he tries to slow his racing heart. “Good, land, Jess! What on earth are you doing out here?”


Bret sacks out on his couch, listening to the droning television. So this was it… this was what is life was really about. It had come full circle once again… but would the outcome be different this time?

Rolling over so his back is toward the television, he leaves it on, but lets his eyes fall shut. His half-eaten supper was getting cold and dry on the coffee table, but he really didn’t care. He just wanted…. maybe he didn’t know what he wanted, but he felt like simply turning his back on the world. If he wasn’t going to go out and drown his sorrows, he might as well try to sleep them off.

Sigh

*Katie's eyes shoot to Scott's as he sits across the table and the mention of the kiss with Jason came up. She was going to tell Scott what happend, she was going to tell him she kissed Jason but she had put it off all day and now he new by finding out himself. Once again Katie had messed up. Droping her gaze she looks down at the empty plat in front of her not sure what she should say. So many things ran through her mind it was hard to pick what one she was focused on. It was hard to think at all.*

"I..I did. Last night. I was going to bring it up to you, but I kept putting it off."

*Katie runs her own fingers on the table and find her napkin. In a nervouse habit she starts to put peaces off one at a time into small scraps.*

"I...don't know why I did...."

*Katie stops herself short for a moment as she closes her eyes to regain her composure. Tears wanted to fall they wanted to come forth.*

"...No thats a lie. I don't want to make excuses because thats not fair to you I guess. Mmmm...I..Scott you know I love you more than anything. My love for you runs very deep, but I guess somewhere I still love Jason too. I tryed to lock it away, because I wanted to be with you. I pushed it into a courner, and kept it there to keep it as only a memorie. But after my accident and I forgot and than remembered I found it hard to keep it locked away..."

*Katie lets out a long sigh and she continues to rip the napkin.*

"But than I did again and thats when we got back together. I kept it hidden locked away, forgoten so well, but I dont know what happend the other night it just....I don't know how to describe it."

*Katie looks up at Scott for a moment searching his eyes to see how he felt. She wasent sure what to say if she shold say anymore Katie just didn't know.*

"...Don't doubt my love Scott because that is not faulse not one bit."

*Katie lets out another sigh and is silent for a moment not sure what to say, what alse Scott wanted to know. Katie just didn't know, all she new is she didnt want to hurt Scott, that was the last thing she ever wanted to do.*

*Giving a jump at a sound behind her Jess turns around and just stairs for a moment not seeing anything. Putting her hand in her pocket and griping the lighter tightly in her fist her eyes roam the area.

What had she come down this way? Why did she want to take a walk and alone non the less? Why was she being such a scairdy cat?

Jess hated the way she felt, non of this would have bothered her before. It just would of been another walk and maybe the destanation would of been differnt but other than that she would of been ok. But now she wasn't. Every loud noise mad her jump and her heart race.

Turning back around Jess continues. As the noises around her continue she picks up her pace. She just wanted to get to her destanation now, she didn't want to walk alone anymore. Hoping she was going the right way Jess walks swiftly.*

*Charlotte lets out a long tired sigh as she gets into her car. Work was finally over and she could relaxe for the next two days. How she was looking forward to it.

Pulling out of the parking lot Charlotte's next destanation was Bret's house.*

Fresh air

Jason flops down on his couch. It seemed the same as every other night. He sighs, and flips on the television. The only difference tonight was that he didn’t have any supper. He hadn’t been hungry…he’d just been tired…just wanted to sack out and do nothing.


Kyle grins as Misty gets into the truck. “I wouldn’t care if you had bedhead – you’re still the prettiest girl on the planet.”

Giving a nod, he starts the engine. “The lakefront it is, melady.”



Scott shrugs as he continues to stare at he menu. “Maybe Herb changed the selections?” He grins. “Stranger things have happened.” He gives Katie’s hand a squeeze. “Give me a minute…I’ll find what I want…I’m sure of it…I think…”

Supper is pleasant. Scott keeps up small talk about TJY, photography, Domino and Texas. They enjoy their food, and finally it’s just relaxing after the meal.

Scott grows fairly quiet after a while, finally what’s been on his mind, coming to the surface again.

“Katie…” his voice proves a bit of strain… perhaps worry… His eyes fall to the table, and he runs his finger along the rim of his glass, trying to figure out the best way to word this.

Finally he looks up to her again. “I, um… I wanted this to be a nice evening for the two of us before I said anything…then I didn’t want to say anything at all…but I wanted to be fair with myself.”

He pauses, running words through his mind again. “I…I know that you kissed Jason last night…” He lets his sentence hang, his eyes searching her for the answers of why.


Carson checks the clock before hanging up his apron. He was used to sticking around even after he didn’t have to, but tonight, some fresh air sounded good.

“Hey, Herb, I’m taking off. Be back in time to help close up.”

Going to his room first, he grabs his denim jacket to throw it on, changes his shoes, then heads to the door. Exiting into the evening air was a nice cool shock to his skin. Walking only a few feet, he leans back against the brick wall, just breathing for a few minutes, wanting to figure out a destination rather than walking aimlessly, though it wasn’t easy without having a bar in mind.