Hold Me

*As Scott's fingers run through Katie's hair A calming feeling runs over her. Her heart was still heavy, and breaking in bits, but it was as if someone suddanly entered and was slowly picking them up as they fell. Catching them, and holding them with care. Ready to start building again.


Katie eyes still filled with tears looks Scott in the eye. Studding the meaning of his words, looking deep into the pools of green Katie can feel a few more bricks taken off her back. Slowly but one by one the would be removed. There was something about Scott that drove away the emotions when Katie was with him. Something she couldent explain, but it wasent something to fear.


Slowly Katie stands from the chair and slowly climbs over to the bed lowering herself next to Scott. Trying her best note to put to much pressure on him to cause him pain. Curling up next to him Katie burys her face in his chest as her sobs soften but are still there. Softly whispering.*

"Hold me Scott. I wante to feel close to you."

*Aerith watches Jason for a moment before noding and turning away. Going behind the counter she pours a tall glass of OJ. Before heading back over to Jason Mable stops Aerith and hands her an apple, and banana.*

"Tell him those are from me and he needs to eat them."

*Aerith nods geting the sence that Mable and Herb know Jason more than just he comes in alot for food. Going over to Jason she puts the glass down along with the apple and banana.*

"Mable said you should eat those."

*Before turning to leave Aerith smiles at Jason. Aerith could tell by the look on Jason's face he seemed lost. She felt bad for him even though she dident know who he was. Taking a leap of faith Aerith wonders if maybe she can make another friend around this place. God had sent her so many so fast already. Maybe this was another one to add to her growing resons of why to stay.*

"I'm Aerith by the way. Its nice to meet you Jason."

Please?

Scott looks over to Katie, pained to see her in his state. He furrows his brow as he listens, his face losing its smile. Though it hurts, he moves himself closer to the edge of the bed, rolling over onto his side.

As Katie buries her face in her hands, he reaches out to run his fingers slowly through her hair. He couldn’t help the feeling in the pit of his gut that warned him he didn’t have a chance here…it had been a miracle in the first place that Katie had taken an interest in him at all. If her feelings for him had hit her that hard and fast, was it really something that could last? Or was it true that her heart would never be able to let go of Jason?

Swallowing hard, Scott closes his eyes for just a moment, taking a deep breath. When he was around other people, he was just the tech guy…the computer nerd…the geek. But when he was with Katie…she treated him like a human…like a friend…like a man. No one else had ever made him feel like that before, and he had nothing else now that could compare. If he had it for three days or three years…it was worth it.

“Katie…” His fingers continue to comb her hair, his voice soft and low. “Don’t be angry at yourself. It’s not your fault.”

He pauses his stroking to shift a finger under her chin, forcing her to look up at him. “I don’t like it when you cry,” he whispers. “’Cause there’s nothing I can do to stop it.” He searches her eyes. “I’m not going to give up…this is gonna be heck on both of us, but I’d never live with myself if I let this scare me away. Just let me be your shoulder…please?”


Jason picks up a stray straw wrapper to fidget with as he sits in the booth, uninterested in what’s going on around him. His mind wanders…he thinks of things he doesn’t want to, but the thoughts come anyway.

He begins to contemplate what was happening to him internally. When he’d been in Texas, it had started becoming evident that he’d been living under masks. Since he was a kid, he’d been able to pull on whatever emotion or expression he wanted, to cover up what he was really feeling. It was a ploy to get people to leave him alone and assume he was fine if he really wasn’t.

Then Katie had come along…someone who had been able to see straight through the masks to the true feelings underneath. She had gotten close enough to him that she’d been able to feel them herself…draw them out…absorb them. No matter the mask, she knew what he was feeling and when. The masks became obsolete…they no longer worked…and Jason had realized that living under the falseness of them was no way to live. He’d continued with that perspective for a long while, regaining a relationship with Katie…deepening that relationship with her…and gaining a closeness to others he’d never had before.

Then everything had fallen apart. While in prison, he’d experienced things he’d never want to repeat. He’d been treated as low as possible, witnessed murders, been the brunt of teasing that went beyond verbal jabs. It had hurt. He had loathed the pain. But masks would do no good. No one there cared what they perceived him as – it didn’t matter. The only way to stop the pain was to lock it away. It had taken a while, but Jason had mastered the exercise. He’d successfully built a barrier that was impenetrable. Nothing in, nothing out. And as such, he’d begun to fight back. Without feeling the remorse, or guilt, or raw pain from becoming who he had to survive, he became someone he no longer knew. He’d locked out his emotions from himself, and locked them away from Katie. He hadn’t wanted to feel the pain, and he hadn’t wanted her to feel it either.

And so…he had remained that way. No emotions…no feeling. No feeling…no pain. But as such, a coldness had formed, making it harder than ever to open up. And when he did, the pain was so severe that he avoided it at all cost.

But this had created a vicious cycle. One that led to new anger…new frustration…new pain that had emerged from the very fact that he had locked away the root emotions. And they sat on the surface, dictating his mood…dictating his actions. He was miserable…plain and simple. And the emotions that were buried under the surface were boiling, the pressure ever building. He could bring them out if he wanted to…but it hurt…and it had become harder than ever. It was no longer natural to simply be himself…let his true self show. It was an effort. He’d done such a good job at hiding himself that now, instead of having to work at burying his emotions, he had to work at actually showing them.

It was an awful position that pained him more every day, sending him on a downward spiral of something he wouldn’t want to admit was depression. And he had no idea how to get himself back out again. Had he changed permanently? Was this his lot?

Snapping his head up, he’s startled by Aerith’s approach. For a minute, he’s taken aback. He didn’t recognize her. How long had she been working here?

He lets his eyes fall back to the table. He needed something to eat, or drink at least. He hadn’t had any breakfast, and he knew he needed sugar. “I guess I could use as glass of orange juice,” he finally replies. “He gestures with his hand to measure. “Regular glass though, not a juice glass. Mabel knows – just tell her its for Jason.”

He scoots the menu back to her. “I won’t need this, thanks.”


Cindy giggles as Wes picks her up and spins around. She receives Wes’s kiss and puts her hand to the side of his face, beaming as he draws away. “I love you too.”

Her smile broadens as he talks to the baby, and she pulls him back close again, wrapping her arms around his neck. “I’m so happy…we’re really going to have a family…” Another kiss seals her joy. She couldn’t have found a happier moment.

O.O

*Misty thinks for a moment decieding what she wanted to do for a day.*

"I think I would like to work some with the nerve repair. That sounds intresting and maybe something I could figure out. So if ya dont mind shairing what you have already with me that would be great."

*Misty could feel the enxitment of something new to work on. She loved doing research and figuring new things out. It was something Misty lived for, Helping people.

Looking up as the door opens Misty looks to Rick with question as Carson brings Katie back into the room next to Scott. It looked like she had been crying. When only moments before she looked happy and ok.*

*Katie keeps her head down as her tears still flowed. She dident want to be alone but, was it the best idea to talk to Scott about this. In Katie's mind she yells at herself that was silly, She and Scott made a promise she could turn back on it. If she couldent do anything alse with him right at least she could do this.*

"At this point I am so angry at myself. I like you Scott. I like you alot. It hit me hard, it hit me fast and I want to start something with you. But my heart refuses to let go it wont let me be happy. I was doing so well with my falls blocking Jason out, and geting over him. Than this morning on the raido I hurd the song he wrote for me and I found one of the roses he gave me. I hate this feeling Scott."

*Katie's sobs continue even though she trys to stop them. The emotions they were so great pushing to the limits.*

"I feel so safe, so comfortable with you Scott. You give me the scurity feeling at times I need.. Last night I had so much fun and I ment ever moment, every emotions that was portrayed in that kiss..I felt happy...and now this morning I feel broken again and I just dont know. I'm so scaired I am going to lose you to, and I dont want to keep bring Jason up to you eather cuz I am sure that cant feel good for you. I just want to be myself again and be happy with you."

*Katie burys her face in her hands. She felt so foolish, so childish, she felt shame. Last was bliss, this morning was misery.*

*Worrys cross Wes face as Cindy talks. She was saying something more serouse was wrong with her. Wes waits intently for Cindy to continue. As Cindy slips into his lap he wraps his arms around her. Holding her tightly but gently.*

"What is it Hun, Whatever it is I am here and I wont go anywere. We will make it through anything."

*Wes grows quiet again as Cindy starts to speak just holding her offering her protection and comfort. As Cindy lifts her head and whispers in Wes' ear he freezes. A....a baby...All time seemed to stop as Wes takes in the new. A smile soon forms on Wes face as he leans down planting a big kiss on Cindys' lip than leaning his forhead aganst her.*

"A baby...I'm...I'm going to be a Daddy."

*The new was unexspected but happy and joyes non the less. Wes blood pumps, and his excitment grows.*

"I AM GOING TO BE A DAD."

*Wes stands up still holding Cindy cradled in his arms spinning in a small circle with her. The biggest happyest smile on his face. His joy and emotions here high he felt like he was floating. God had given him so much already and now he had add another wondeful thing to Wes already perfect life. Gently laying Cindy down on the coutch again Wes leans over her and gives her another kiss drawing away and looking her deep in the eyes.*

"I love you so much."

*Gently Wes puts his hand on Cindy's tummy.*

"And I love you to little one."

*Hearing the bell on the door at Mom and Pop's ring Aerith look up to see a man with a scowl on his face enter and sit in her section. Heaving a sigh Aerith cant help but notice the man look in pain, and very unhappy. Slowly walks over to the booth in the back where he sat Aerith smiles.*

"Hi, can I get you something to drink?"

*Aerith puts a menu down in front of the man for him to look at.*

...

Scott smirks at Misty. “Hey now…you can’t hold slurred gibberish against any man when it was drug-induced.” He tries to keep his face from reddening. He did remember some of what he’d said, whether he’d admit it aloud or not. “I guess you’re right though. I wouldn’t want to rip out my stitches while on a date either.” He grimaces. “Not a pretty picture.”

Rick shakes his head and turns his attention to Misty. “Well, we still got the rest of those blood analysis reports to create, and since we don’t have anyone to look after except Scott, we’re free to resume some studies that I started a while back. I’ve got several subjects I was studying…one was bone replacement, the other was nerve repair.” He shrugs. “You know how to keep yourself busy, so have at it.”


Carson looks at Katie with helpless sympathy. He didn’t know how to offer comfort…he didn’t know how to tell her that it would be okay. It was a rueful realization that he was so rough and tumble that he’d never been in this position before.

He looks around again, but still, no one else is in sight. Sighing, he starts to rub Katie’s shoulders gently. “I’ve been there, Katie…I’ve been there.” He’d been so distraught over losing Misty that he’d made himself physically sick. “You can’t let this rule you,” He directs softly. He saw Jason every night…he saw the anger…he knew that the two of them had given up on their relationship and it was probably for the best from what he’d seen. But he knew it didn’t hurt any less.

Racking his brain, Carson finally decides that him trying to comfort Katie was ridiculous. Maybe it was a bad choice, but it was his only choice right now. “Come on,” he prompts. He takes Katie by the arms and lifts her up out of her chair, slinging an arm around her for support. “This is no place to cry your eyes out alone.

Carson guides Katie across the floor, then down the hall to the infirmary, pushing the door open with his foot. Rick and Misty were on the far end in the middle of a discussion and Scott was sitting up in bed.

Scott’s eyes widen at seeing Katie. “What happened? What’s wrong?” He looks to Carson for answers.

Carson simply guides Katie to the chair next to the bed, setting her down gently. “Uh…rough morning,” is all he’ll explain. He’s not going to tell the new guy in Katie’s life that she was crying over her ex boyfriend. Backing away, he leaves the two alone.

Scott looks to Katie with worry. “What is it, Katie? What happened?”


Jason sinks into the booth near the back of Mom and Pop’s, heaving a weary sigh. He didn’t know why he’d chosen this place. All it did was feed his misery as he thought about all the memories that were tied up here. But it was almost as if he were feeding off that torture. The good feelings weren’t there to keep him going…it was misery that was driving him at this point.


Cindy looks up from her place on the couch and manages a slight smile as Wes comes and sits next to her. Her face grows solemn and she thinks for several moments.

“I, um…had a long talk with her.” She swallows hard and looks down. “It’s…it’s more than just the flu that’s been bothering, me Hun. It’s…a lot more serious than that.”

Glancing up to see Wes’ eyes, Cindy moves to adjust her weight and slide onto his lap, resting her head on his shoulder. Her voice is grim. “It’s going to change a lot of things…and I’m going to have to do some things differently….and you’re going to have to help me out…”

She pauses again, her smile hidden from view. Unable to stand the suspense any longer, she lifts her head to whisper in his ear. “We’re gonna have a baby.”

A Memorie

*Katie mind reels as her crys continue. Why did this happen, why did God let it? She was so happy and her life got turned upside down so fast. Her feelins were confused and lost. She liked being around Scott and being with him, she wanted to try something more than a friendship with him as well. But Jason wasent out of her system yet. Would he ever be?

Katie gives alittle jump springing her head up at Carson's voice. She hadent relized anyone alse was at work besids Rick and she felt foolish for leting anyone hear her cry. Trying to push her emotions away this time Katie cant. Looking at Carson her eyes streaked with tears as they still flow she speaks softly.*

"I need...my life to go back to the way it was...and I know it cant. I need everything to be ok, and to stop feeling like this. Its hurts so bad and I dont know how to deal with it anymore. I thought I did and I though I was doing so well but, than one the raido I hurd a song wrote and found one oh his roses he sent me. It all hurts so much Carson and I dont know how to get past it so it wont anymore. I just feel so broken. I dont know what I need anymore."

*Katie sobs continue as she trys to gane controll but feels it slipping farther and farther away. Katie felt so hopless a prisoner to her own emotions.*

*Misty looks to Rick and grins than looks back to Scott.*

"You can talk? Last time I hurd you it was all a bunch of slerred jibberish and you can get out as soon as you can move without wincing in pain. We dont need you ripping out your stiches. Cuz if you ask me being on a hot date and geting them covered in blood is not my idea of a fun time.But thats just me.*

"Misty srugs and turns back to Rick her grin even bigger.*

"So whats on the agenda today boss?"

*Nate makes his way across the parking lot. Seeing Jason come out of the building he gives a wave but receaving nothing back he shrugs and heads inside. Nate had a great time with Laura lastnight and was still smiling from it.

Making his way across the floor Nate siting down at his desk he looks around for his folders on the case with Mick. Rembering he gave them to Jason he lets out a long sigh. He has some stuff he needed to look up and he needed those files. Knowing Jason already had left Nate figured he wouldent mind if he went ahead and just poped into his office to grab the folders he needed..

Heading to Jason's office Nate slowly and quietly closes the door behind him going to Jason's desk. Finding the folder on top Nate picks it up only to have a few papers fall out. Bending down to pick them up Nate's eyes fall to rest on the picture inside the trash can. Reaching into and taking it out Nate just studys it for a long moment. What a wonderful memorie to be captured. Nate racks his brain trying to figure out why Jason would toss this. Weather he and Katie were together or not. Most people would do anything to have a memorie as sweet as this one. Nate new Jason would regret it one day if he threw it away. Placing the picture on Jason's desk Nate grabs a sticky note and jots a few things down.

“Forgiving does not erase the bitter past. A healed memory is not a deleted memory. Instead, forgiving what we cannot forget creates a new way to remember. We change the memory of our past into a hope for our future.”

“God gave us memories that we might have roses in the winter.”

“And even if you were in some prison, the walls of which let none of the sounds of the world come to your senses - would you not then still have your childhood, that precious, kingly possession, that treasure-house of memories?”

Nate places the note with the picture on the desk and takes the folders he needed exiting Jason's office and going to his own cubicle.*

*As Wes hangs up the phone with Cindy a suddon worry comes over him. He's knows Cindy said everything was ok but he couldent help noticing the tone in her voice. Clint hadent arrived at work yet but should be in soon. Grabing a peace of paper Wes writes a quick note.

Clint,
Something was going on at home after Cindy went to see Angel. I'm not sure what it is yet but I left to make sure she was ok. As long as everything turns out alright I will be back before lunch. Eather way I'll give you a call. Hold everything down for me here ok. Thanks alot Clint dont get into to much trouble with Wendy while I am gone.

-Wes

Wes tacks the letter onto the shop door so Clint could see it when he came into work.

Geting into his truck Wes makes his way home driving alittle faster than normal ankshes to see Cindy and make sure everything was ok with his own eyes. After a few more moments of driving Wes parks the Truck and gets out heading into to find Cindy. Steping in He calls to her.*

"Hun, I know you told me not to worry..."

*Walking into the living room he see Cindy curled up on the coutch and smiles siting down next to her and puting his arm around her.*

"I know you told me not to worry, but I wanted to make sure everything was ok myself. I could sence something in your voice but I am not sure what it was. What did Angel say was wrong sweetheart?"

Can't take it

Carson glances up as Misty walks by and gives her a smirk. He wants to say something, but is stuck on the phone, so he resists, just pointing a teasing finger at her.

As she walks away, he keeps up the dialogue with Tommy. “Look, I don’t know what kind of game you guys are playing, but I’m getting downright tired of it. …This is coming from me, no one else. ….Yes…we’ll listen to anything if you got it. Why the holdup? ….Yeah…” Carson gropes for a note on his desk. He had the secure number written down here somewhere. It was a line to TJY that Scott had set up that couldn’t be traced. He relays the number. “Pass that on and tell them that if we don’t hear soon, forget it. We’re not playing these games.”

Ending the call, Carson sighs. He’d just totally overstepped his bounds by doing this without Reese’s approval, but he hadn’t lied – he was tired of this. And he was the only contact someone from the other side might listen to at this point, to relay a message. Especially Tommy…he was scared to death of Carson and would do just about anything.

Rolling his eyes, Carson gets up from his desk. Now he was going to go finish that conversation with Misty.

He exits his cubicle and makes his way across the floor, heading for the hall. Just as he’s rounding the corner though, his ears pick up on the sound of soft crying. What the? He looks around. Not everybody was at work yet… Furrowing his brow, he doesn’t turn, but instead heads down the row of cubicles, finally coming to Katie’s.

His eyes widen, seeing her hunched over her desk, sobbing. He hesitates at first, not knowing what to do. But glancing around, no one else is close. Awkwardly, he sidles in next to Katie, his hand hovering over her shoulder for a moment before he actually decides to touch her. “Katie…are you okay?” He tries to think of someone who might be able to help. Jason… oh, no, not Jason. Scratch that. Scott! No…if this was about Jason, that could be a bad choice, and he was in the infirmary anyway. Wyatt! Carson grimaces. There was a past there too.

“What’s wrong, Katie? What do you need?”


Scott looks up and grins. “Hey, I can talk too. I’m feeling fine. When can I get out of here?”

Rick shakes a finger at him. “Not as soon as you like, I’ll tell you that.” He turns to Misty. “If we can get him to just listen to us once, he’ll be fine.”


Jason slams his filing drawer shut, his frustration building. It was strange…he could keep all his emotions bottled up inside without letting them out, yet they still made themselves known through his actions.

Heaving a sigh, he gives up. This was just stupid. Reese knew he needed time to adjust, so he knew he wasn’t going to get fired over leaving work again.

Jason rolls his eyes and leaves everything as-is in his office, leaving even the computer on. Heading out, he doesn’t know what his destination is, but he can’t sit here…he can’t stay at TJY.


Cindy paces the kitchen, thinking…worrying…thinking some more. Wes would be wondering about her….she knew she didn’t have to call him, but she wanted to.

Finally picking up the phone, she calls the shop. “Hey, hun… I’m home. I just.. um…well, whenever you get home, there’s something I need to tell you, so… I’ll let you know what Angel said when we have time to sit down.”

Finishing the call, Cindy wanders to the living room, glad the couch was there now, and curls up in the corner, her mind going a million places at once.