Why?

Clint grins at Wendy. "I didn't know you were interested in that sort of thing." He glances at his watch. "Well, I better scoot before I lose this job of mine." He chuckles. "See you around lunchtime?"


Jason fights between anger, hurt and logic, but he shakes his head. “You had nothing to do with this Katie, and don’t you ever take any of the blame on yourself. Those charges against me are true and of my own doing.” He lets her help him up, and balances on one leg while he grabs his crutches. “Talking to Con is as good idea though – I want to get to the bottom of this.” He grits his teeth, trying to suppress his anger until he’s heard the whole story.

They make their way back to the mess hall, finding that many have already dispersed for the day. Con is still at a table alone though, Austin nowhere in sight.

Jason aims for Con and doesn’t even bother to sit down, but leans on his crutches instead. He dives right in, not bothering with an introduction into the conversation. “I just got off the phone with Susanne,” he states flatly. “Forget to tell me something, Con?”

Con holds his coffee mug between his hands, and doesn’t even look up at Jason, his face clearly showing that he’s upset. “Sorry, Hotshot.”

“Sorry?” Jason scoffs. “That’s it?”

“I don’t like this any better than you do, so don’t make it worse by getting upset.”

Jason shakes his head in disbelief. “I’ve been suspended and that’s all you can say? Why, Con? Why were you the one who should have told me? Are you the one that ratted to Carter or what?”

Con jerks his head, quickly meeting Jason’s eye with an anger of his own. “I was doing my job. Don’t think for a minute that I did any of this on purpose.”

“So you were the one who reported everything.”

“What was I supposed to do?” Con throws up his hands. “My job here is to protect my superior – Austin – and to submit weekly reports back to TJY. I wasn’t going to lie, Jason.”

Jason groans, wishing for a moment he would have back full mobility and have it out with Con. “But you knew this would happen!”

Con scowls at him. “Look – anyone else could have done any one of those things and been suspended for it. Be glad it took all of them for the request to go through.”

“But I can justify every one of those!”

“Can you?” Con looks back down at his mug. “Can you justify almost blowing Austin’s head off? Can you justify breaching security?”

Jason’s face reddens as he grows desperate. “But there were reasons!”

“It doesn’t matter!” Con’s palm slams down on the table as he looks up again, the pain evident in his eyes. “I didn’t plan this, and I’m making myself sick just thinking about you, of all people, getting suspended. But my hands are tied.”

Jason isn’t ready to give up yet. “You said a request went through. Whose request was it?”

Con focuses on the table, his jaw muscles working at his tension.

“Who was it, Con?” Jason raises his voice, ignoring the stares from others in the mess hall. “Who recommended my suspension?”

Con still doesn’t answer.

“Dang it, Con!” Jason’s desperation is to its limit. “Tell me!”

“It was Austin!” Con glares up at him. “Are you happy now?”

Jason blinks in disbelief, his tone lowering drastically. “Austin…? But…”

Con shakes his head. “It won’t do you any good to question him. He won’t even talk to me about it. I asked him outright why he’d done it and he didn’t answer me.” He finishes off his coffee and rises from his seat, making eye contact with Jason. “If I were you, I’d let it go. Enjoy the time off, maybe even go somewhere else. But don’t press your luck. If you’re smart, you’ll back off and just let it be. Accept your circumstances and don’t fight it. If you’re lucky, they won’t hold you on suspension for long.”

“How can I just let it go? This is my future we’re talking about!”

“You think I don’t realize that?” Con sighs deeply. “If you care about your future, don’t fight it. You’ll only make things worse.”

Jason swallows hard, not even sure how to feel. The charges were true…he couldn’t deny them. He simply hadn’t thought they would affect his record so severely. Was Con right? Was there really nothing he could do? Why had Austin, of all people, recommended his suspension? That fact hurt more than he’d care to admit. He finally lets his gaze drop to the floor. “If anyone needs me, I guess I’ll be in my bunk then.” He turns around, stopping as he catches Katie’s eye. So much for getting things back to normal.


An email awaits...

Dear Katie,

How does a man apologize to his daughter? How can a man ever rebuild a bridge that he burned with pain as the fuel and pride as the flame? If I new the answers, I would not feel so inadequate now, to express how sorry I am.

I hope you don’t delete this message before reading it…though I guess I couldn’t blame you. I tried calling several times in the last few weeks, but I guess you were gone.

I’ve done so many things wrong, Katie…it pains me to think of all the hurt you’ve been through – all the hurt I’ve caused. I have no excuses… I know that nothing I say can excuse my despicable behavior.

When your mother and brother died, my world felt as if it was crashing down. I’ve never felt such sorrow and misery. But even so, I had no right to lash out at you – my daughter. I was full of hate…hate for myself because I blamed myself for the cause of those deaths. But instead of admitting that guilt to myself, I chose to put the blame on others in an attempt to relieve the pain. But all it did was make it worse.

I said things to you that I regret. I treated you in a way that now I despise. If I could go back in time, I would change so much…

I can never hope for your forgiveness. You’ve been hurt in ways unimaginable, and by my hands. I guess I simply wanted you to know that your father is changed. I had to be broken in order to see the wrongs I’d done, and my heart has never felt heavier. I have a happy life…one with joyful children and a loving wife. But there is still a hole – a hole in my heart where you once resided.

Katie, I’m so sorry. I know you probably hate me, but I couldn’t live without knowing I did all I could to try and right my wrongs.

I love you.

-Dad