Jason’s eyes fly open and he sits bolt upright on the couch. The tv was still droning, casting an eerie light through the living room. But it wasn’t the sound or light from the latenight movie that had woken him. It had been something else. Something bigger. Something worse.
His heart still races, a bead of sweat running down the side of his face. For a split second, once more, the connection between him and Katie had been released. Like a dam had been opened. But again, it had been shut tight. Except this time…this time it was different, and it scared him.
Not only had Jason’s emotions flowed for a moment, but he’d felt something as well. It hadn’t been a direct communication. It hadn’t been a pointed effort at telling Jason something. It had been one big ball of negative emotion, hurled up the emotional current like a comet.
There was no language… no message. Just…emotion. Fear? Hurt? Pain? Panic? Whatever it was, sent chills down Jason’s spine. Something was wrong.
Reaching for his phone, it takes Jason a minute or two to find the number he wants, but finally sees it.
Mick gives a jump as the bedside phone rings. Squinting in the dark, it takes him a minute to figure out that it really was the phone ringing. It felt like he’d just gotten to bed… oh… he really had just gotten to bed. But he’d been out like a light.
Rolling over, he accidentally whacks Rosetta on the head with his elbow, and cringes as the tingle goes up his funny bone. “Mm – sorry,” he mumbles.
Finally grabbing the receiver, he tries to clear his head. “Yeah, hello?”
“Mick?”
“Yes. Who is this?”
“Jason…Stevenson. Sorry, bad timing?”
Mick pulls himself up a little, propped up on his elbow. “Um… that depends on how you look at it. What’s up?”
“I, um…well, has Katie come back yet?”
“No…why?”
“I don’t know, I just… have you heard from her at all?”
Mick quirks an eyebrow, and glances over to Rosetta. “No…but we weren’t too worried. It’s been raining pretty good here, but she knows this place like the back of her hand.”
“Yeah, I know.”
There’s a pause, and Mick waits. “Jason…What’s wrong?”
“I don’t know. I just got a funny feeling was all… So you don’t know where she went?”
“No. We just assumed she went up on the mountain…it’s her favorite spot. It seems logical. She could be a million and one places up there though. Do you think we need to do anything?”
“Like you said, she could be anywhere. It would take forever to find her. I guess….no….maybe it’s just me.”
“Get some rest, Jase. Quit worrying.”
“Yeah. Thanks. Sorry to bother you, Mick.”
“No bother. Talk to you later.” Mick hangs up the phone, sighs and rolls over again, burying his head in his pillow, while letting his arm flop back over Rosetta again. “For a guy who isn’t her boyfriend…” he mumbles, “…he sure worries like one.”
Jason hangs up his phone, but he can’t shake the lingering feeling he had. Maybe it really was just his imagination though. But…it had been such a strong feeling…one that had really set him off. He could have told Mick that someone needed to go look for Katie… but where would they go? It was pointless. Katie could be anywhere. They wouldn’t be able to find her, especially if she didn’t want to be found, not to mention in the rain, they wouldn’t be able to find any traces of her trail or where she’d been.
Maybe Mick was right. Maybe it was nothing, and he just needed to quit worrying.
Unable to sit still on the couch, he finally picks up the phone again.
Lying on his left side, Con’s good ear picks up the sound of the bedroom phone. He was tired enough that he was tempted to just take the thing off the hook for the rest of the night.
Not wanting Jamie to have to answer it though, he reaches over her to get it, keeping her curled in front of him, too comfortable to move. He brings the receiver to his ear. “What.”
Jason cringes. “You in bed already?”
Con rolls his eyes. “Jason… what on earth do you want?”
“Sorry. I didn’t think you’d be in bed yet.”
“It was a long day. I’d like it to be a long night too, so say it fast.”
“Well I just… it’s a long shot, cuz I know she left her phone behind, but like, you haven’t heard from Katie or anything, right?”
Con finally opens his eyes. “No, why?”
“I just got the feeling something was wrong.”
“Did you call the ranch?”
“Yeah, Mick said I just needed to quit worrying.”
“You think he’s right?”
“I don’t know.”
Con sighs. “Jason…you and Katie have sixth senses about each other. If you think something is wrong, don’t you think you should trust it? Why don’t you have someone from the ranch go look for her?”
“’Cause no one would be able to find her like that. Too many variables. They don’t know where she went, and on top of it, Mick said they’ve been getting rain. All anybody would be doing, would be putting themselves at risk.”
Con keeps his groggy eyes open. “Then why don’t you go?”
“I can’t do that.”
“Why not?”
“Well who says I could find her?” Jason argues.
Too annoyed at the hour, Con’s voice reflects no emotion. “You have a connection with her.”
“Yeah, but…”
“Use it.”
“It doesn’t work that way!” Jason gives a frustrated sigh. “Everybody thinks they got it figured out, but they don’t. Katie can find me – I can’t find her. Well… not really.”
“You did once though.”
“Yeah, and I took a crazy ride around town, trying to pinpoint her. I can’t do that on the side of a mountain, not to mention, she’s shut me out, Con. I can barely feel a thing.”
A small bit of worry forms in Con. He didn’t like the idea of Katie being out alone and in trouble. Jason was right though, that anyone from the ranch going to look for her would pretty much be pointless. Any search and rescue team would agree. “Well what other options do you have, than going yourself? No matter how little you can feel her, it’s more than anyone else. You’re the best bet to find her.”
“I…I can’t.”
“Why? What now?”
“It would just be… I mean…. She could be perfectly fine. Then there would be no reason for me to go, and I’d just upset her all over again and…”
Con’s eyebrows lift. “And what? At least you’d know she was okay! If she gets mad someone looks for her, then I think she’ll get over it.”
“But it’s…” Jason groans. “It’s more complicated than that. I just don’t want her to think…”
“What? That you love her?”
“Con!”
Con shakes his head. “Look. You know as well as I do, that the reason you’re sitting on your butt is because you don’t want to face your feelings for Katie.”
“That is…”
“So just don’t go.” Con cuts him off. “Let her stay up there. Keep worrying, and keep bugging people about it.” Without waiting for a response, Con hangs up the phone, bringing his arm back around Jamie to pull her even closer.
He heaves a sigh and just wants to go back to sleep. But now his conscience wouldn’t let him. It’s several minutes before he gives a groan and rolls over. “This is ridiculous,” he grumbles. Swinging his legs over the side of the bed, he gropes for his jeans. “No one is ever going to get any rest until he gets his head on straight.” Standing up, he pulls on a t-shirt, hoping it’s on the right way around, unable to see it in the dark.
He reaches over to give Jamie a light pat. “Sorry. I have to go do something about that moron before I go crazy. It won’t take me long. Keep the bed warm.”
Jason hangs up the phone with frustration. Why was everybody laying into him? First Misty, now Con! Could no one keep their noses out of his personal life? Could no one quit trying to pry these feelings from him?
He stands up, pacing the living room. One minute, he was ready to go, the next, he wasn’t. If he went, and Katie was perfectly fine, then she’d just think he’d invaded her space, and would probably get upset that she couldn’t even spend a little time alone. Jason knew if it were him, he’d probably wonder if privacy even existed anymore. She had a right to do what she wanted, and was perfectly capable of taking care of herself. Besides all that, if she’d really been in danger, wouldn’t she have kept the connection open? Or asked for help?
Jason keeps pacing. But what if she couldn’t? He didn’t know how this thing really worked… what if she was really hurt, and lying somewhere unconscious, unable to send him a message? Would their connection automatically open if she passed out, or did it have to be a manual thing? He wasn’t close enough to an answer to be sure that Katie wasn’t hurt…that she wasn’t in need of help…
“Jason!” A fist pounds on his front door. “Open the door.”
Jason’s eyes widen at the tone in Con’s voice. Great. He’d made his friend mad. Now what?
He goes to the door and cautiously opens it, letting Con inside. “What?”
Con sets his hands on his hips. “You know what. I’m tired of watching you play these little games. Get your jacket. You’re going to find Katie.”
“But I told you why I can’t!” Jason throws up his arms. “Sorry, but your trip was wasted. I gave you good reasons why I shouldn’t go to Texas.”
“I don’t care!” Con shakes his head. “This isn’t about Katie’s physical condition, and you know it. It wasn’t all that long ago, you would have dropped everything and run, not caring about what she thought when you got there. Who gives a rip if she’s perfectly fine and gets upset? At least you would have cared enough to check on her.”
“But I don’t want her to think I’m invading her space!”
“No, you don’t want her to think that you actually care.” Con crosses his arms. “Get over it, Hotshot.”
“You have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Don’t I?” Con shakes his head, unwilling to back down. “Do you love her?”
Jason rolls his eyes. “Why does everybody keep asking me that?”
“Because we’re waiting for you to be honest for once! Everybody knows the answer, but you’re not willing to give it!”
Jason starts to glare at him. “Just drop it. You don’t understand.”
“I understand that you’re scared,” Con states flatly. “You’re scared of being vulnerable and getting hurt again. You’re scared that you’ll hurt Katie again. You’re probably a little scared that you’ll end up like your own father and do something stupid.”
Jason takes a step back, his emotions spiking. “That’s not fair.”
“What’s not fair? That I know you so well?” Con shakes his head again. “You’re like a little kid learning to walk, Jase. You got up once, and fell down. You got up a second time and fell down again. So now instead of trying it again, you’ve decided to stay on all fours and crawl the rest of your life because it’s safer. You know good and well you’d be better off on your feet and walking, but you’re sacrificing that freedom just so you don’t get hurt.”
Jason’s anger boils. The truth was painful. “That…”
Con doesn’t let him interrupt. “Fear is no excuse. You think I wasn’t scared to marry Jamie? I was terrified! I’m still scared that I’ll go and screw something up! But I’m not going to allow it to ruin my life. Sure, a ton of things could go wrong. But I’m not going to let that stop me from enjoying the freedom of being with the one I love. Living in fear is no way to live at all.”
He pauses, searching his friend’s eyes. “You know that song? Life’s a dance, you learn as you go… sometimes you lead, sometimes you follow. Don’t worry ‘bout what you don’t know – life’s a dance, you learn as you go.” Con begs Jason to listen. “We fall down and we get hurt, yes. And we still will, no matter how old and wise we get. But life’s not about getting it right every time. It’s learning as we go. Sometimes we’re in control and sometimes things just happen that there’s nothing we can do about. But we can’t quit living, Jase. We can’t.”
Jason’s eyes drift to the floor, his anger starting to subside. Con was truly speaking from his heart as one who cared. How could Jason refuse to listen to him?
Con reaches over to put his hands on Jason’s shoulder, and waits until he looks him in the eye again. “Now I’m going to ask you one more time, and you better tell me the truth.” He stops, forcing Jason to pay attention. “Do you love Katie?”
Jason swallows hard, the emotions running rampant through him, and surging through his eyes. “Yes.”
“Then for pity sake, get out there.” Con turns around to grab Jason’s jacket off the couch. “Get your stuff. The plane is waiting.”
“What?”
“I called them on my way.”
“And they took orders from you?”
“Once a TJY agent, always a TJY agent.” Con nods down the hall. “Come on, get going! I want to get back to bed.”
Con flops back down in bed, feeling better to know that Jason was on his way, and though still worrying about Katie, at least he know Jason would be looking for her.
Pulling Jamie close, he gives her cheek a kiss. He couldn’t imagine not showing his love for her. Despite his annoyance towards Jason’s attitude, part of him pitied his friend for holding out for so long. He had to be miserable hiding something as powerful as love.
“I love you,” Con whispers.
Jason looks out the cockpit window, staring into the dark. It was the smallest plane this time, but he kind of liked it, being allowed to sit up here. He would have enjoyed it more, had his mind not been wandering every which way, still full of worry. What if Katie was perfectly fine? What if he was getting all worked up for nothing? Then he’d be the fool. But maybe Con was right…maybe it was better to make sure. Not to mention…there was another purpose to him going.
