Failure? Rejection?

As Katie lifts the walls, Jason can literally feel his body start to relax as the flow of emotions is freed again.

I’m really here…. If it were a dream, I would have been able to make it sooner.

Jason slowly withdraws his arm, enabling him to move around beside Katie. Instead of facing the cliff though, he faces her, sitting crosslegged. He cocks his head, studying her face. It looked like she had had a rough time of it…but she was okay. His reasons for coming could wait. His questioning as to what had happened to alert him to come here could wait.

Though his ballcap’s brim shades his face, it doesn’t hide his eyes, and he roams her own, searching for understanding…for answers.

I’m sorry, Hero… for everything.

Reaching out slowly, he takes her hands in his, turning them up so their palms were together, lacing his fingers through hers. He needed this…she needed this. It had been too long.

There was so much he wanted to say, but didn’t know how. There was so much he should explain and ask, but couldn’t find the words.

Slowly, gently, the floodgates are opened. Jason keeps a handle on his emotions so they don’t surge in one big wave, controlling them as they flow. Like poison being drawn from his veins, the emotions lift their burden to leave him and nourish the receiver.

Though some things hurt, Jason doesn’t hide. At first what comes is painful… his frustrations, hurt, and anger. From now…from the past. The accompanying memories date back to hurting Katie, to Camryn, to Scott. Then the fears and pain from the current time are brought out, proving the turmoil that he’s had locked inside.

Though his hands start to tremble, Jason doesn’t let go. His eyes remain on Katie’s, not breaking their gaze.

Then comes the relief… the happiness… the gratitude. Though recently things had been hard, there had been good times and good moments. And those emotions needed to be released just as badly. For even the good held inside created turmoil.

Sweat forms on Jason’s brow as he stares into Katie’s eyes. There was only one thing left he had not yet shared, and even now it was hard to pull out. The fear tried to cover it up, but he tried so hard not to let it. And finally, slowly, it is passed from his inner being to hers. Love. A love that had existed for so very long, that had seen bright days and dark days, but in truth had never left… it had only been buried deeply in the shadows, creating an unbearable battle of the heart.

As the emotions begin to fade, the physical tiredness sets in, and Jason’s shoulders drop slightly. He loosens his grip on Katie’s hands. He knew she needed his emotions, but whether or not she would have appreciated this, and how she would react to love was unknown.

Swallowing hard, Jason finally drops his gaze. Holding her hands in his lap, he rubs them gently with his thumb.

I don’t know what this means…and I can’t understand it. I don’t know what to do…and I don’t know how to go from here.

He looks up again, once more searching her eyes, as the fear pools behind his eyes. Would he fail? Would he ruin friendship? Would he be rejected?

I don’t know how to love…and I don’t know how it works. But I can no longer keep it locked away. I just can’t do it anymore.

His words stick in his throat, and come out barely above a whisper. “I love you, Katie Pent. I’ve denied that fact long enough. Please don't try to move past your feelings...I want you to stay.”