the truth

Carson pauses his work as Herb stops him, though he refuses to meet his older friend's eyes. he couldn't. How on earth was he supposed to explain what had happened last night? It was....it wasn't....it had...it....

He lets out an angry sigh and tosses his towel aside, sinking down into a chair that was against the kitchen wall. Burying his face in his hands, he's silent for a long while. His mind ran wild with so many things, he didn't know what to think or what to feel. He wanted to go back in time. He wanted to go back and fix what had gone wrong. He wanted to make different decisions. But he couldn't. No one could. What was done was done, and there was nothing that could change it.

His own words startle himself. He didn't know why he'd even confide in Herb. He shouldn't. He should just stay quiet and pretend none of this had ever happened. But the guilt was so great that he couldn't ignore it this time.

"I messed up." His statement is muffled in his hands.

He finally lifts his head, but still refuses to look up at Herb. "I messed up big." A pause offers enough time for him to stop or come up with a lie, but he couldn't. It seems like an eternity, but slowly, he lets his eyes find Herb's. He knew he had guilt written all over him. If he tried to give an excuse, Herb would know. And adding lies to this whole mess would do no good.

"I took a woman to her home last night, and...I didn't leave until this morning." The implications were there. Carson knew he needn't go into any details. "...And right about now I feel more rotten than I ever have before."

Swallowing hard, his head hangs once again as he stares at a spot on the floor. "There's only one person I've ever really cared about Herb...and I just cheated on her...blatantly...and willingly. I'm sorry I was late this morning."