Two days

Misty’s hand on Carson’s face sends warmth throughout, a feeling that had been left void for too long. The tear wiped away, so does dread flee. Sorrow would remain…the dull ache of yesterday’s mistakes and wrong doings would continue to be a solid reminder for the future. But for now…in this moment…they were overcome by the sheer relief of Misty’s forgiveness and acceptance.

Carson lets Misty take his hand, and he stands up with her, allowing her to lead him through the growing crowd, and down the narrow path to the beach. The sun shone warm, a contrast to the cool air blowing in off the water that crashed onto the sandy shore.

Carson’s grip tightens around Misty’s hand, not knowing all that had happened to her, but sensing this wasn’t easy. He stops and turns just to look out on the water, the wind to their faces. He wanted answers…he wanted explanations…he wanted to know why what had happened had happened like it had… But he also wanted Misty to know the truth about himself before she laid everything out.

“Misty…” His words are once again wrought with a new tone that demonstrated a mixture of hurt, shame, sorrow and timidity. A tone that was not common to Carson until recently. “I…in case anyone says anything, I just…I want you to know that when I left for Australia, I didn’t live a lifestyle that was good. When I heard your plane went down I just lost it completely and went down every wrong path just trying to find something to erase the pain because I knew it had all been my fault. I was still the bad guy and…I did things I’m not proud of…I don’t think you want to know the details.”

He pauses, still looking at the water. “I finally picked myself back up, and then about a week and a half ago I went back to TJY. Then we got a newspaper about that poison breakout over here, and we knew it was you on the front page. That’s how I found you…”

Carson drops his gaze a little bit to the side, searching Misty’s face without turning his head. “I won’t lie to you…I was a bit mad…I couldn’t believe that you were actually alive, but what was more, I couldn’t believe you hadn’t let anyone know. I didn’t expect you to try and let me know, but at least your family…”

He allows another pause, now waiting to receive what Misty had to say. “Why, Misty? Why the new name? Why the hiding?”


Katie,
Got wind that in a couple days we got that window. I usually don’t know when visitors can come, so it’s nice having a heads up this time. You should get this letter the day after I send it, so by the time you’re reading this, I can say “see you tomorrow.” I imagine Lockheart knows of it. Looking forward to it, Katie.
I haven’t seen that rainbow yet, but I’m still keeping my eye out.
Heard JetStream on the radio again the other day – sounds like they’re doing well. Kyle’s a great lead.
See you soon.
-J

Water

*As Carson returns Misty's hug she melts in his arm. Those arms that braught her comfort, and drove her fears away still did. Misty felt happy, the feeling of joy filling her like non other. She had been mad at Carson but that now was gone. Misty though she wouldent never have that second chanse with Carson but now here he was with her. Nothing alse matter to Misty but this moment. From Carson's embrace Misty could truly tell he did care and the mistakes he made were just that.

Misty smiled at Carson her eyes though stricken with tear were lit up. The tears were no longer tears of sorrow but tears of joy. The empty place in her heart had been filled once again by the only person she new capable of touching her heart.

Bringing her hand to the side of Carson face Misty slowly runs it along is cheek maping over every curve.*

"How could I not forgive you. I smiled at so many people for more than a billion times in the last months; but nothing compaired to when I first saw you, my heart took over and smiled for the first time that day. Your all my heart wants and it wouldent let you be replaced nor would I want it to."

*Misty only spoke the truth she new. Trying to open her heart hurt but it was something she had to do. Carson did hold they key even if he dident see it. He always did. Misty slowly whips away Carson tear than ran down his face.*

"I'll stick with you through thick and thin Carson. Can you forgive me for making you think I was dead. If I new it would of put you through what it did I wouldent have let it drag out."

*Misty looks around the now busy Cafe. It was feeling a bit stuffy and she dident want Carson to feel awkward let along herself. They had much to talk about but this was not the place. Looking out to the beach once again Misty stands holding her hand out to Carson as she smiles.*

"Come on lets get out of here and go for a walk on the beach. I guess I'll need to tall you about the last few months but this is not the place. It nice out there today. I havent been able to walk out there since the crash. Water makes me panic. But I'd like to over come it and I'd like my first time to be with you Carson."

I don't know how

The words that Misty speaks dig down deep, touching the untouchable parts of Carson’s heart. Fearful to look back at her, he keeps his gaze to the water. His chest feels as though it might burst, if he keeps everything inside any longer. But Misty’s words were true…he didn’t know how to let it out.

He could feel his one last chance slipping through his fingers, and dreaded seeing Misty walk away. But suddenly, that fear is gone in an instant.

As Misty sinks onto his lap, he gives a start, not having expected it. He withdraws his feet from the other chair to sit up straighter, and his arms immediately wrap around Misty in a hold that never wanted to let go.

He presses her to his chest, burying his face in her hair. “I’m so sorry,” he whispers. “I was wrong…and when I thought I’d lost you for good, my whole world stopped spinning.”

Feeling Misty’s tears soak through his shirt bring out Carson’s own pain, driving his uncontrolled emotions to the surface in the form of his own tears that he kept from spilling over.

He simply holds Misty for several minutes, the noise around them fading as if they were the only two people in the world.

Any anger Carson had felt was gone…with such relief…with such elation to be holding Misty again, there was no room for it.

Finally, Carson takes Misty’s shoulders to push her back just a little. His hand brushes the hair from her face, and wipes the tears from her cheek. “Can you forgive a bloke for being a fool?” he asks quietly. He searches her eyes, trying to find the key to unlocking her soul once more. Sorrow fills his gaze. “I don’t know how to love, Misty…I thought I did, and I was wrong… but I want to learn...” He swallows hard as an unwanted tear finally escapes. “Can you find it in your heart to stick around long enough to show me how?”

Locked Heart

*Misty's own gaze goes out to the water. It seemed calm today and the air was warm for once as well. Carson had braught a bit of sunshine with him, lite the way for Misty to find her way home. Part of her now wanted to hug and hold him, and yet the other part still wanted to dispise him. Turning her gaze away from the water she looks down at the take there the quote she wrote was. ".....But not knowing which to do is the worse kind of suffering.” Misty wanted to stop suffering. She wanted the pain to end and to be happy again. She new the desition she had to and wanted to make. For the sake of Carson and her both.*

“I try to talk to you, but I don't know what to say. I am afraid you don't want me to say anything. So I don't. But inside of me there are words waiting to come out. And tell you how I feel. Like how I miss you. And how I love you despite my broken heart. And how I need you in my life. And especially how much I want you with me. But those words may forever stay in my heart-locked inside not knowing the right way to bring them out. Sometimes I wonder if there are words locked inside you too. Waiting to come out but not sure how. Can we get to the point where are hearts will know again the words our mouts should say. Can out hearts mend eachother. Do you still hold the key to once again unlock my heart!"

*Misty's gaze drifts back to Carson. She couldent deny it, though the hurt, through the suffering Carson was still important to her. The path of mending would be long and hard, and Carson would have to work hard himself to prove so manything. But knowing you had something to work for. Knowing your heart could sore again. Being with the would you cared for that you could lean to would makes the hard road to travil alittle bit easyer.

Finally a small smile breaks on Misty's face as she plops down in Carson's lap throwing her arms around him in a strong embracing leting her emotions and tears flow free that for the last two months were bottled up. She had alot of explaining to do, but for the moment she just wanted to hold the only one she longed for.*

Death

Misty’s eyes light a fire deep down inside Carson that had been snuffed out for so long. He gazes at her, the future hanging in the balance.

Her cold words are like a hit below the belt, and hurt just as much, threatening to put out the fire again. Carson almost winces as the pain comes back to him. She did blame him…and he deserved every bit of it. In a sense, he really had been responsible for her death. Thought not a physical death, it was apparent that he’d killed her emotionally, and that thought tore at his heart. For a moment, anger is forgotten. His gaze drops to the table.

He’d been through this in his mind a million times before…but thinking of it now, while seeing Misty’s here…it drove the pain home.

As she lifts his cap a little, he looks back up at her, staring into her eyes. Something in them didn’t match her tone, but he could not tell what it was. He could only be grateful she hadn’t screamed bloody murder when he’d grabbed her. But there was a coldness there… there was the warning that this meeting may be but a fleeting interaction to send them both back to opposite ends of the world again.

Slowly, Carson releases his grasp on her wrist, letting her go, and fixing his gaze out over the water instead, to hide the emotions building behind his eyes. “Well, if you ever see that woman again, tell her to look up her boyfriend on the other side…because he died two months ago when he realized he had her blood on his hands.”

Wrong person

*As Misty heads by her normal table and the man siting there grabs her wrist she lets out a jump not knowing who it was at first. A million through running through her mind. Finally hearing the voice her blood runs cold as everything starts to spin. Finally seeing the eyes of the one her her longed for Misty's words are caught in her throt for a moment. Carson, he was there in front of her. How did he find her? How did he know? Misty face stays perfectly still no smile forming on it though she wanted to so badly. The one thing she couldent hide was her eyes, and she new it. Just seeing Carson sparked something inside of her. Just by his touch, just by seeing him siting there.*

"You must have the wrong person Mr. I think the woman your looking for did die a while back. From what I hurd she died the moment she found out her boyfriends was cheating on her, and skiped town not even saying goodbye. Causing her to really believe he dident care anymore and was gone for good."

*Mitsy's voice is steady and flat, as her emotions inside dont match up. Remembering the past hurt, but seeing Carson there felt good. Misty had dreamed almost every night of seeing Carson again but than she had to wake and face he really wasent there and wansent coming for her. But now infront of her was Carson. Was she dreaming again or was the really real. Was her mind playing tricks on her once again. Reaching out with her other hand Misty lifts Carson's hat alittle higher to see his face. To stair into his eyes she longed to see. Feeling a twinge of pain he looks away trying not to show her tears that wanted to come. Misty dident know how to feel.*

Strange

Alec lifts his eyebrows as he sees pictures of Sage. He’d seen this woman before. That was interesting. This case was deeper than he thought.

Taking in all he can, he jots down some notes. He laughs at Frankie’s question. “Ha, no…just need this for a friend. It’s all good.” Closing his notepad, he nods with satisfaction. “You’ve been more than helpful, Frankie. Thanks.”


It had been four days…would Misty continue the pattern that Alec said she had? Carson hoped so.

He weaves between some tables until he spots the one he was looking for. Glad it’s unoccupied, he approaches it, seeing the engraving. This was the one.

Glancing around, Carson notes he’s early for lunchtime as hardly anyone is around yet. But that was fine by him…it gave him a chance to collect his thoughts before things progressed.

Sitting down, he props his feet up on the empty chair on the other side of the table. He drew just a little bit of attention, being dressed more casually then those in this area. His white muscle shirt was tucked into a pair of faded jeans, under an open red flannel shirt with rolled up sleeves. His baseball cap was pulled down low, hiding half his face. He could just see the entrance out of the corner of his eye.

Running a finger along the engraving, Carson’s mind wanders. What was he going to say? How would Misty respond? Would she hate him? He couldn’t blame her if she did. He had so many questions for her…would she give him enough time to ask them?

His apprehensiveness grows as he waits. He glances at his watch. More people were coming. It would be any time now. He keeps his focus on the table, his peripheral vision keeping track of everybody coming and going.

Suddenly his heart skips a beat. It takes all his power not to turn his head. He knew that face. It was her.

Carson’s pulse quickens, and he grits his teeth. The confused emotions still existed. Half of him wanted to get up and throw his arms around Misty, and half of him wanted to bawl her out. But he does neither. Instead, he just sits...waits...

Seeing Misty draw closer, Carson knows she’s looking for her table, but he remains motionless. She disappears from his line of sight, but he can hear her walk…he knows that step. As she approaches, he knows she’ll pass on by go to the next table, and calculates his timing.

Just as her figure comes into view, he reaches out, grabbing her by the wrist to stop her. His thumb runs along her bracelet, and he speaks without looking up. “Strange…wearing the name of someone deceived into thinking she was dead.” He shakes his head and tsks, finally raising his face to stare up at Misty from under the brim of his cap. “Now why would she do something like that?”

information

*Frankie a tall 6foot 7inch man enters a nearby park in England. Scaning the park he looks around for Alec who was meeting him. Carrying folders and papers with him his eyes finally rest on Alec. Walking over to the table he sets everything down.*

"Its been a while Alec..."

*Frankie keeps up light chitchat for a few moments seeing how Alec was doing. It had been sometime since he saw him. Two days after Alec had called him Frankie got as much info as he could. Finalling opening a folder Frankie pushes it twords Alec.*

"I got pictures and all the information I could on Sage Fair. However its only goes back 2 months ago. Anything before that it like she dident exsist. "

*Frankie flips some more pictures over showing ones of when Sage was in the hospetal, cuts, burns, breaks.*

"It seems Sage was in a pretty bad accident lost her memorie for a month. Finally she regained it remember what happend....there is a blank on that I couldent get the reports from the police or anything on that. Sage seems like a pritty normal woman. She goes to school here in England at the privet acadimy. Every day about 12 she goes to the small Cafe called Barlugar down in Newcastle. She mostly studys there by herself. She always gets the same table right by the waterfront. On the table she sits at is a quoet she ingraved into it."Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing which to do is the worse kind of suffering.” I dont know if that means anything to you. Sage pritty much keeps to herself. No one ever see her hang out with anyone."

*Frankie looks down at his notes for a moment gathering a bit more information. Pulling out a news paper she hands it to Alec.*

"Few days ago she saved a whole group of people life who were poisoned with a strange poison non of the docs ever saw before. I think it was the mixture of venum and some other stuff. Sage dident hesatat in jumping right in and making up and antidote. Everyone is claming she is a hero now.

Lets see...oh yes her address 149 Langer Rd. Newcastle. She lives by herself. She shops at the locale supermarket once a week. Oh ya I talked to a few people in her class and they say she is pretty spunky for being a lonler. Some of the guys have tryed to prasure her and she blows them off. She wairs a braclet on her write with a guys name so alot of people think she has a secret boyfriend no one knows about. Whoever her boyfriend is though is one lucky guy. She's a real doll. So...thats about all the information I have on her. What do you need this all for anyways Alec? This chick wrong you or somthing?"

Not this time

Carson swallows hard and watches Nate walk away, the words of advice ringing in his ears. Slowly he reaches up and slips his necklace over his head, holding the treasured locket in his palm. Flipping it open with his thumb, he looks at the picture of Misty...she was younger then than he'd known her...but those eyes...that smile...they were the same.

Closing the locket again, Carson wonders if Nate were right...did he have a second chance here? Did he want to take that risk? Misty could really hate his guts...but...she did still have the bracelet on.

Letting the chain fall back over his head, and tucking the locket under his shirt, Carson goes for his phone, dialing the number that was jotted on a sticky note. "Yeah, Alec...Carson Banks...need a favor... First flight out of here to England. I want to know everything you can find out about Sage Fair. Shouldn't be hard - she was on the front page of the paper this morning. I want to know where she lives and what she does. I'll be right on your heels."


Reese looks at Nate, stunned. Wyatt stands next to him, just as shocked. "I can't believe it...but...too many things add up for it not to be her."

Reese shakes his head. "Wow...I just...wow..."

Suddenly the door opens without anyone knocking. Carson stops in his tracks, looking at the three men. A hard determination has set in on his face and he focuses on Reese. "Requesting a leave of absence to fly to England." His eyes drift to Nate. "You're right. I'm not going to let this slip through my fingers...not this time."

Reson

*Nate sighs and stands straght. His own confustion corsing though him. Looking at Carson he can see his own confustion. Nate trys to rashinlize in his mind Why this would happen. He himself was so upset, yet very happy at the same time.*

"I cant even start to think why she did this Carson. If she was trying to get back at you or not. Many why's play in this that can only be answered for one person. But the best thing I can say is. You cant change the past though Carson, but you can write what happens next in your story, and change the future. It looks as though your world might brighten again. Misty dosent know your back, she dosent know your reaction. Maybe she still thinks you dont care."

*Nate takes a few steps to the side and gives Carson a strong pat to the shoulder.*

"Don't let your second change slip though your fingers. Don't let her slip through your finger. Maybe this all happend for a reson, so you would find your way back here. I am sure she has a good explanation. If you still care for the woman who fliped your world upside down than dont give up and show her you do. and if you need help I'll be with you every step of the way."

*Nate starts to walk twords Reese office.*

"I need to let Reese know. I cant keep this from him.*

How to feel?

Carson can't even think of an intelligent response as his mind begins to reel. The room starts to spin, and he's overwhelmed with questions and possibilities. If this were true...if this picture was real..

"She...must have had a reason?" He gropes for an explanation.

A churning in his heart brings unexpected tears to his eyes. He blinks as they sting, and stares at nothing, trying to comprehend what this all meant.

Misty was alive.

Two months of enduring pain like no other…two months of toting around that sickening guilt…two months of agonizing over what could have been. And she was alive.

Confusion bombards Carson’s mind. How he could feel the joy and anger at the same time, he didn’t know. Misty wasn’t stupid. She would have known everyone would think her dead. And Carson had tortured himself, taking the blame for something had hadn’t even happened. He’d put himself through heck and for what? All the pain all the anguish, all the horrifying nightmares of what he’d caused…and it had all been a lie.

Feeling foolish wasn’t the half of it. He felt stupid, he felt played, he felt like the dang fool he was.

And yet…struggling against anger, a light shines somewhere in the darkness. Misty was alive. He couldn’t deny the sheer elation that news brought on. The thought of a second chance…the thought of seeing her again was enough to make his pulse quicken. For the last two months he’d wanted so badly to hold her in his arms again that he could taste it…and now there was a real chance that could happen.

But…Carson’s heart sinks a little. Misty had apparently been purposeful in her move. Could he blame her? If he’d been in her shoes, would he have done differently? If he’d been betrayed by someone he loved and had felt that lost, would he have passed up the opportunity to start again as someone else? And if he’d made such a great effort to separate himself from his old life, would he want someone from the past invading the new life?

Anger. Joy. Indecision. All three surrounded Carson’s heart, creating a swirling abyss of confusion. He felt a million things at once, yet still didn’t know how to feel.

As the shock settles into his veins, he sits…staring into nothingness.

"If she ever wanted to get back at me," he comments quietly, "she did a good job of it."

I dont know

*Nate leans aganst the wall to the cubicle as he feels his own knees go weak. If that was Misty why would she stay away and make everyone think she was dead. Why would she go about her life making everyone think she was dead. Nate turns his attachen back to Carson, than the picture, than Carson again.*

"I'm about as shocked as you are Carson. I have no idea. I attended the service for Misty, to us all she was passed on. I couldent even start to think why she would do this? I'm about as lost for words as you are."

Shock

Carson looks up in surprise at Nate’s hasty entrance, and it takes him a moment to focus on the newspaper. He blinks, his eyes widening, and he snatches the newspaper from Nate’s hand to take a closer look.

He quickly reads the words, his eyes going back to the picture. That face…those eyes… He spots her wrist. It couldn’t be. …There was no way. It just wasn’t possible.

But Carson couldn’t deny it.

He looks back up at Nate, his face paling slightly, and he finds it hard to find his voice. “I don’t know who Sage Fair is, but this is Misty.” He holds up the paper, pointing to the picture. “I gave her that bracelet.”

He searches Nate’s face, a million questions surging through his mind. “What’s going on?”

Newspaper

*Time is free, but it's priceless. You can't own it, but you can use it. You can't keep it, but you can spend it. Once you've lost it you can never get it back and so once again time sliped away between the cracks. New problems came, and new problems went. Some people got well and some people fell darking into the eternal darkness till a light would be shown again.*

*Nate streches as he sits down at his desk after helping Scott with one of the computers. Taking a sip of his coffee he glances down at the front page of the news paper. As Nate starts to scan it he almost dumps his coffee in his lap from shock. A million questions and thoughts running through his mind. Shooting up like a bottle rocket Nate makes his way over to Carson desk with great hast. Holding up the paper in front of him.*

"Carson take a look at this."

*Nate trys to keep his hand steady so Carson can read. On the front Page of the new paper in big letters it reads:

YOUNG MEDICAL STUDENT SAVES MILLIONS IN LUNDON ENGLAND POISON BREAK OUT....more on page B3.

Below the caption is a picture of a young women with long awburn hair that glisend in the sun and peacrcing dark brown eyes. The slender woman stood in a white and green tank top, white shorts and white sandles shaking the hand of the head doctor of the hospetal. A steel braclet shined in the sun around her wrist. Though the woman has a smile on her face her eyes showed a bit of emptyness and longing for something that had been lost. Under the picture the name read "Sage Fair."

As soon as Nate saw the picture he new who the woman looked like but he dident understand ow or why. Before geting his hopes up he new Carson would know for sure. He new Misty better than anyone and would be able to tell from one look if that was her.*

"Look like anyone we use to know or am I imaging things?"

*Katie leans her back aganst her wall of the room. Another say of missed work. Tomarrow she would HAVE to go in no matter what. She couldent keep missing work. How she wished the could get Jason out sooner. He was headed down the dark road she feared from being locked away. Though Katie loved geting a letter from Jason they now lacked any feeling. And it hurt Katie to no end. Grabing her pen she lets out a sigh.*

Dear J,
The rain has been pretty bad out. I dont mind though. You know me though I always liked the rain. Hey next time it does rain try and get to a window for me and look for a rainbow. We saw one together once before and it would be nice to again just know when you see it I am looking at it too.
Hey I got some good new. Lockheart told me I might be able to come and see you again in a week or two. I'd really like that and am looking forward to it now. I miss you something terrable. An hour isent long but its better than not seeing you at all. Hope to see you soon Jason.

Lots of Love,
Katie your personal hero always.

A week

Con has already thought of just about every possibility in the book, but listens to Jamie, appreciating her concern more than he led on. Her care made him feel warm.

Turning, he looks to her, inches from her face. "I'll think about it. In the meantime, thanks for putting up with me." He searches her eyes, knowing that she would stand by him through thick and thin. Craning his neck, he pulls her a little closer, pressing his lips against hers in a passionate "thank you" for all she'd said and done for him.


A week goes by. Time seemed to be flying by without so much as stopping to let anyone breathe. The days all melted into the next. The work persists. The daily grind presses down on those who continue life's lot divvied out to them.

Laura grumbles and fiddles with power button on her computer. "Scott!!!"

Scott pokes his head up from someone else's computer several cubicles down. "I'm coming, I'm coming!"

Carson glances across the floor and quirks an eyebrow, a slight grin forming. Everyone's computers had been breaking down the last couple days it seemed, and poor Scott was getting the brunt of it. Turning back to his paperwork, he lets out a weary sigh. It was strange getting into the groove of things again...on one hand it felt all new, and on the other it was almost like he hadn't left at all.


Jason sits on his bed and leans back against the wall, reading Katie's letter for the third time. He folds it back up and puts it in the small shoebox along with all the other letters she'd sent to him. Grabbing his notepad and pencil, he jots out his reply.

Hey, Katie.
Wishing I could see that beach too. Or just a sunset for that matter.
Finding that hours have the ability to pass extremely slow under the right circumstances. Watching rain drip from the top of my window has become quite the past time. At least it puts me to sleep on the lonely nights.
I'm still hanging in there. Not so much to fear, other than the future itself. But surviving is a must.
Take care of yourself, Katie.
-J

Job

*As Jamie listens her heart Acks for Con. How horrable he must of been feeling. Con had always had the high life for jobs. Full of action and now, there wasent any. Moving her head to his shouler Jamie tilts her head to look up at Con. Geting a tiny yet good thingly feeling in her tummy at Con's touch to her arm and shoulder.*

"Con you know Reese would always take you back. You were always his right hand man Con. He would be happy to see you again. Maybe you could even help with the Jason case."

*Jamie thinks for a long moment. How she hated to see Con down. She offered as much comfort as she could. Being next to Con in his arms Jamie loved every moment hope in fact she did bring him the comfort he needed.*

"Maybe you should come back Con. Ya you would have a desk job, but you would be with your friends, and doing what you love. Maybe even geting in on the action once and a while. I think you should consider talking to Reese and working something out. Dont stay at the lumber yard if you unhappy. That never makes a job fun."

Missing...

Con sighs deeply and reaches out to pull Jamie down next to him, resting her head on his chest and giving the top of her head a kiss. "You haven't done a thing wrong or a thing to upset me. I don't know how you could."

He gives her shoulders a squeeze. "If I was upset with you, I'd say so, you know that."

Con thinks for several long moments. "I miss TJY, Jamie." He runs his hand along Jamie's shoulder and arm absentmindedly. "I miss the people...I miss doing something worthwhile. I got a good job at the lumberyard, but for what? Not a day goes by I don't wish I was helping people instead of stacking two-by-fours."

He lets out a weary scoff. "I even toyed with the idea of trying to get back on the force. But no one's going to want me. I wouldn't qualify anymore with my hearing loss. And all I'd have at TJY would be a desk job...not to mention the fact that I made such a big deal out of resigning that I'm not sure I could go back anyway...I've never been stuck with a deadend job before and that's what it feels like...I miss what I had before, and every day it gets worse."


Carson looks to Nate, fighting his own emotions. "Thanks, Nate. It's good to be back and...I hope I can live up to your expectations from now on."

Wyatt gives a little nod, signaling that he's okay with Carson being here now. Ending the exchange, he stands up. "Well...let's get you over to see Reese. I'm sure he'll be glad we gained a man instead of losing another one."

Change

*As Jamie sits with Con she starts to put a few things away so she could relax with him before he had to go again. Leting out a sigh Jamie replys to Con.*



"Ya, I've seen that to in Katie. It makes me worryed sick, and I cant really do anything to help her but comfort her when I can. I give her alot of credit, She is one strong cookie."



*As Jamie finishs puting everything away she scoots alittle close to Con. Resting a hand on Con chest she gives it alittle scritch and than just rests her hair there studing him for a long moment. For a while now Jamie new something was bothering him but he wouldent talk to her about it. Jamie turns her attachen to the harizon for a moment continplating for a moment. Jamie new work had been hard on Con, and being the bigest in the lumber yard took its toll on him as he boss worked him like a horse. Jamie lets out another sigh and turns her attachen back to Con.*



"Hun, I can tell something is bothering you again. I've been able to tell over the last month. But you want talk to me about it. Have I dont something wrong for you to not want to shair with me? Whatever it is thats bother you weather its with me or something alse I will listen. I'm here for you to talk to. Heaven knows I lay all my problems on you all the time and you listen without complaining. Let me do the same for you at least once?"



*As Nate listens to Carson he studys his eyes, his body launge. Carson indeed had changed that much is for certin. Carson had a weaght on his shoulders greater than any punishment one could grant. They all had to live with what happend to Misty, but Carson had to live with more. His memories were great.*



"You cant blame youself Carson. Weather you loved Misty back to not you gave her something no one alse could. You gave her hope and showed her how to be herself. You helped her smile, and gave her the spark she needed. Carson Misty wouldent want to to dwell in the past forever. She's want you to let go of that weaght on your shoulders and just remember the good times. Remebering her smiling face the good not the bad."



*Nate rethinks and intakes what Carson had said about beingin Australia. How lost and hurt Carson must of felt after the news of Misty. Nate himself felt the heavy weaght from it. Her voice still eccoed through the halls, and Carson and her own antics rining and Nate would roll his eyes and say his famuse line. "You have got to be kidding me.". It indeed was strang to see Carson there and know Misty would not be coming in the door to throws her arms around him, to fall in his lap or throw him a sassy comment. Nate new the pain himself and it hurt.*



"Your still welcomed here Carson. We could never as you to do more than try. No one is purfect. No matter what was done in the past, the time is now. We wont turn you away. We can get through this together."



*Nate nods and turns his gaze to Wyatt. The look in his eye said he to felt Carson's pain and he could tell he had started a change in himself.*

Pain

Carson tries not to let too much surprise show at Nate’s cordial greeting. He accepts the handshake firmly, giving a little nod, and trying to find his voice. “Thank you.”

He’s not sure what else to say…there is so much that has been unsaid…so many questions that he knew he would have to answer. He’s quiet for a moment, contemplating.

Before he can speak again though, Wyatt comes around the corner.

Wyatt skids to a halt as he sees Carson, his eyes widening. If there was one person he hadn’t expected to see again, it was him. He’d assumed he’d skipped for good after not hearing anything for two months. What had brought Carson back? Was he on the up and up?

Approaching cautiously, he studies Carson’s face. Something was different. The cold fire was gone from his eyes. There was humility…perhaps almost a timidity…though he still wore confidence. His eyes were void of spark, indicating he had truly been broken at some point, and was now subdued because of it. Wyatt wondered if he were right.

Carson tenses just a little as she sees Wyatt coming. The last time they’d spoken, it had been a harsh exchange after a brawl. Wyatt had been ready to kill him. But as Carson looks at him now, he can see that the anger is gone…time had built a bridge over that rift. He bravely extends his hand. “Wyatt.”

Wyatt shakes his hand. “Carson…”

Another awkward pause. Carson finally gives a little roll of his eyes. “I know…you’ve both got questions for me.” He raises his hands, then drops them back down. “I’ve got nothing to hide.”

Wyatt exchanges a glance with Nate, then looks back at Carson. “How about we go into the break room and sit down?”

“Not the interrogation room?”

Wyatt thinks for a moment. “No. Come on.”

The three make their way to the break room, finding it empty and able to sit down at he small table. Carson glances to the counter, the microwave…he could see Misty standing there making him lunch like she had so many times, just because she cared.

Snapping himself back to the present, he looks to Nate and Wyatt, ready for a bombardment. But it’s gentler than he would have guessed.

Wyatt leans back in his chair, continuing to study Carson. “Got anything you want to say first?”

Carson swallows hard. “Yeah.” He catches Nate’s eye, then Wyatt’s before dropping it down to the table. “I’m sorry.” Finding strength again, he looks back up. “I did a lot of things wrong when I was here before and…if it weren’t for me, you probably wouldn’t be short a fine young woman now.”

Wyatt has a hard time not becoming emotional. It was difficult seeing Carson around without Misty. But what was Carson saying? “You…blame yourself?”

“Over two months ago I tossed aside the most precious thing in my life – a genuine friendship like I’d never had.” Carson remains without emotion…he could talk about it now without so much pain. “If it wasn’t for me…I’m sure Misty would still be alive today.”

Wyatt could see that Carson truly had shouldered this burden, accepting that responsibility whether it was right or not. “Carson…sometimes things just happen. Why carry that guilt around? The rest of us could just as easily be blamed for letting her go.”

“No.” Carson shakes his head. “You all loved her…your intentions were pure.” His eyes grow dim. “I had no love…and now…it’s holding on to that guilt and pain that keeps me from making the same choices again. It’s feeling that shame day in and day out that reminds me how much pain I’m capable of causing…and it keeps me from causing it again.” He takes a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “Not a day goes by that my mind doesn’t replay the last time I saw Misty…it’s as nightmare that I created and I will live with in the hopes that I will stop history from repeating itself.”

Wyatt looks to Nate again, knowing that Nate probably felt just like he did…there was no anger towards Carson anymore…there was almost pity. “Where have you been all this time?” he asks.

“Australia.” Carson looks down at this hands as he runs his thumbnail along the edge of the table. “I went to spend some time alone…to think. When I heard about Misty, I…I made a few bad choices…tried anger to resolve the pain and that didn’t work…I tried drinking, and after a week of puking my guts out because of it, I realized that wouldn’t work. I tried hanging out with old buddies as a distraction...” He keeps his gaze down, feeling the shame, though brave enough to continue. “I tried women, but that just made me feel worse.”

Carson glances up again. “I found out the hard way that nothing could take the pain away…it was something I had to live with…so I got my feet back under myself, got cleaned up and roamed a little bit. Held down odd jobs. Then about a week ago I decided that I wasn’t doing anyone any good by continuing to hide. Nothing I can do could ever make up for what I’ve done…but I wanted to try and start doing something good…” He forces a short sorry laugh. “…something for somebody else for a change…and I knew TJY was the best place for that, so…here I am.”

He lets his eyes wander around the room, finding it a bit hard to be here…but he knew it was the right thing to do. “I…I know I still got problems…I get angry…it’s hard for me to have mercy on others, and it’s a daily struggle not to desire going back to a life of action and adrenaline. But…I’ve been sober for a month, I don’t intend on going back to my life of women, I haven’t had a smoke in three weeks, and…” Carson shrugs. “…That’s the best I can do right now…and it’s all I have to offer.”

Wyatt finds it difficult to even remember being upset with Carson. This was a completely different man in front of him…Carson had been broken. A question lingers in Wyatt’s mind that he had wondered about for two months. “Carson…how did you know about Misty before even calling here?”

Carson remembers the day well, and allows the dull pain to linger. “When I left here, I found a guy through Reese…he promised he wouldn’t say anything… A guy who’d done some work for TJY before…Alec Kryston. I hired him to keep an eye on Misty around here, because I was afraid Ashlyn would stay in town. Alec followed her, found out she was leaving…tailed her to the airport to make sure no one else followed her. I figured Misty was safe, so I told him to stay in the states – his job was done. Then…” Carson’s eyes focus on nothing as he replays that day. “He called me back hours later and told me a plane had just gone down. I didn’t want to believe it, so I called here, and…the rest is history.”

Wyatt shakes his head. “You cared about Misty, even though you’d betrayed her.”

“Of course I cared,” Carson throws back with just a bit of irritation. “I know good and well that my actions were uncalled for and that they reflected nothing than the lowlife that I was. But I cared about Misty… She showed me what it was like to be accepted and loved unconditionally…” He closes his eyes for a moment, maintaining his composure. “I just didn’t return that love.”

“So you didn’t really love her?”

“No.” Carson’s eyes fall back to the table. He pauses before looking back up at the other two men. “I cared about Misty deeply as a friend like I’d never had…as a woman who I’m not ashamed to admit attracted me…as someone who gave me something worth living for. But the day I chose to turn my back on all that was the day I proved I had not loved. If I had…I wouldn’t have done what I did.”

“And now…?”

“I cherish the memories.” Carson can feel the locket that was tucked underneath his shirt. “If I was ever given the chance to go back and change what I’d done, I would do it in a heartbeat, knowing what I do now.”


Con sighs a little after he polishes off his sandwich and listens to Jamie. Rolling over, he lies on his back to look up at the sky. “Every time I see Katie, I can see a part of her is missing,” he muses. “I just keep praying they can get Jason out of there…if they don’t, I’m afraid of what it will eventually do to Katie.”

He puts his hands behind his head as a slim pillow, closing his eyes and listening to the rustling wind. It was peaceful here…he wanted to feel this kind of peace everyday, but it was getting harder. The struggle within himself remained whether he liked it or not, and with each passing day, it got just a little worse.

Brownies

For everything there is a season,
And a time for every matter under heaven:A time to be born, and a time to die;
A time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal;
A time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to seek, and a time to lose;
A time to keep, and a time to throw away;
A time to tear, and a time to sew;
A time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate,
A time for war, and a time for peace.
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

And so time moves on waiting for no one.


*As Kaite reads the newest letter from Jason she lets out a sigh as a silent tear ran down her cheek. It had been two months since Katie had seen Jason but he kept her uptodat with many of his letters though they lacked the truth or at least the detail of what was really going on. Though Jason dident say anything Katie new and could feel everything. Evey broken nose or bruise, every trip Jason took to the infermary, every bit of anger Katie shaired with him worse than the last. Many times over the last few months Katie found herself calling into work. She would tell Reese she was sick when truth be told there were times Katie couldent get out of bed from the pain not hers but Jasons. This was one of those days. Her night had been restless and she got maybe all of two hours of sleep. Jason's letters had become lifeless and cold showing that prison does change even the strongest of hearts. How Katie wished she could take him in her arms. How she wished she was able to stop this change he was going through but she couldent. She was powerless and helpless.

Grabing her cane from the side of her bed Katie uses it to stand. Slowly walking to her desk siting down grabing a peace of paper she write her own reply to Jason trying to give him the hope, the love he needed.*

Dear J,
How I look forword to each letter you write. Even if its only one sentince long I can feel you through it and hear your voice in my head. That paper when I open the envalop has your smell on it. I close my eyes and I see you standing with me. Your hand clasped in mine. Its at those moments my lonly heart is filled.

I took a trip to the beach last week and watched the sun set. It wasent the same without you but I made the best of it. When you get out J we are going to have to go there again and enjoy it once again together. There are so many things I want to do with you when I get out, but most of all I just want to feel you in my arms. I want my yurning to hold you be satisfied. Soon J, soon I will lay my eyes on you again, my eyes that yern to see you. I guess I should end this letter before there is anymore mush put into it. Everyone at TJY says Hi. I'm doing semi ok. Nothing you need to worry about. I'm still standing strong for when you return home to me. I love you now Jason as much as I did 2 months ago if not more.

Love always,
Katie @->----

*Finishing her letter Katie stands and walks outside taking in the crisp morning air placing the letter in the mail box. Slowly Katie sits down on the pourch steps leting her tears fall till finally they stop and she can talk. Taking her phone she dial's Reese number to let him know today was an off day for her as ask if maybe Wyatt or Laura could bring home some work for her to do.*

*Jamie leans back on her arms as she takes in the warm sun on her face. The last month had gone by fast and it was times like this that Jamie now lived for. Since Misty had been gone Jamie had tryed to spend every moment like it was the last relizing how fast life can be snatched away. Every moment Jamie could weather it was whole day or just a few moment to see Con she would be happy.

Jamie laughs as Con talks about her cooking.*

"Oh ya its so hard to make egg salad. I guess that an upside to your parents owning a restront I know how to cook....a sandwich."

*Jamies cant help but get a silly grin on her face as she sits up.*

"Speaking of which...."

*Jamie reaches into the basket and pulls out some brownies.*

"Mom made these just for you. She knows they are you fav so eat up. Katie is doing the best that can be exspected. Jason has been writing her alot, She says everything is fine but you cant tell in her eyes there is so much unsaid. She's been calling into work alot in the last month. That makes me worryed in itself. But when she does come in she seems to be in good spirits just trying her best to keep her chin up."

*Jamie grabs one of the brownies and takes a bit before speaking again.*

"Ya Lockheart has been a big help to Reese through this all. She's really trying to get that second shot for Jason. I give her alot of credit for sticking through us with this more than she had to. I guess they found some pretty good evadence that points to the judge and jury being payed off. Just whatever they are planing on doing they do it soon and get Jason out of there. I feel so bad for him and Katie. It must hurt alot to care and love someone to deeply and have to be separated knowing you cant see them when you want to or even call them."

*Jamie grows silent as she gets lost in throught for a moment munching on her brownie.*

*As Nate rolls his shoulders as he sits at his computer thinking about what should be writen next. Finally it comes to him the perfect line. Once he is done a strange feeling comes over him. Like he was being watch. Turning his head and scaning the floor his eye catches Carson. For a moment Nate cant move wondering if Carson was really there. Nate hadent hurd from him they the day they found out about Misty quite some time ago. Studing Carson for a long moment Nate can see something differnt about him. It was a good differnt. Standing Nate makes his way over to Carson a smile forming on his face. Nate offers his hand to Carson proving he blamed him for nothing.*

"Welcome home Carson."

Passage of Time

They say that time heals all wounds…perhaps there is some truth to that. Though it takes more than time. It takes an effort of the soul to forgive, to reflect, to move on. Time is simply the avenue that the motions take to reach the destination of peace. Some refuse to go down that avenue, and the pain persists, time a foe more than a friend. But most do choose the route of healing, accepting the hard circumstances and moving on. For to live life in the past is to not live at all.

Time also provides the passage of days, as healing takes place. Day by day, each hour increase the hope that soon peace will be attained. A service for a lost loved one is held, providing the opportunity to let go, yet to hang on to the memories that will stay in hearts forever.

And life does move on…slowly at first, but picking up pace with each passing day. And with those passing days, correspondence between two souls helps ease the pain even more, as a neglected love strives to stay alive…


Dear Katie,
It’s quiet here tonight…lights out in half an hour, so I wanted to write you quick. I miss you so much… They say absence makes the heart grow fonder – I say it just hurts.
I’m doing alright though. Getting used to the routine around here. It’s not so bad. Food’s not horrid…

Jason’s fork is halfway to his mouth when a large hand reaches down from over his shoulder, flipping his tray of food onto his lap. Biscuits and gravy ride from his shirt, to his pants to the floor where they splatter, followed by the tray clattering to the floor as well. Jason sets his fork back down, having only had two bites of his breakfast. He doesn’t have to look up to know that seven-foot-tall Tucker is behind him, along with his buddies, Duke and Razor.

Tucker’s hand gives Jason’s head a backhanded slap, provoking him further. “Drop your food, stupid?”

Jason grits his teeth, his hands balling into fists. This was the routine…every morning. And every morning, he held his tongue. And every morning Tucker walked away the winner.

...The nights are quiet, so sleep is coming more easily. Finding the good things keeps hope alive.
Love, Jason



Dear Katie,
Been enjoying the nice weather? I hope you’ve been visiting the beach. If there’s one spot on earth I’d like to go right now, it’s there, with you.
I’ve been getting involved with a few things to keep my hands busy. They got a woodshop here…one of the guys is teaching me some of that. It’s pretty cool, and I’m making a couple friends…

Jason slams into a pile of wood scraps, sending tools and blocks flying. Laughter breaks out, and Zane looks down at him with a sinister grin. “Don’t know how to walk, boy?”

Jason picks himself up, wiping his bloody lip. “Why can’t you just bug off?” he growls.

Zane reaches out to grab Jason by the collar. “Talk to me like that again, and you’ll find out just what happens to someone who disrespects me.”

“Yeah? Well maybe you ought to find out for once what it feels like to be on the other end of things.”

“Oh, and you gonna show me? Huh?” Zane shakes him up a bit, his grating laughter provoking several fellow inmates to laugh as well. He gives Jason another shove, sending him into a table, then onto the floor. “Learn how to walk first, then you can threaten somebody.”

Jason just lies still until the others walk away, knowing it’s useless to try and fight them off. His own threat was proven to be empty.

…working at making a table and learning a lot. Something interesting to pass the time anyway. Maybe I’ll use the skill once I’m out of here, who knows.
Missing you.
Love, Jason



Hey Katie,
I’ve heard it said that given time, everyone changes. But not my heart. One day just to spend with you would be worth a lifetime.
Tried to keep my mind busy lately…They got a library here, and I’ve been taking some time to read to fill in the quiet hours…

“Hey, pretty boy, you’s supposed to be out helping on the ditch team today.”

Jason looks up from his seat at the small table, annoyed at the interruption. He puts his book down, keeping his thumb in the page he was at. “Tucker, you got a problem, see the Warden. I wasn’t on the roster today.”

Tucker slams his hand down on the table. “That’s not the point. You were supposed to take my place, remember?”

“Oh, but then you wouldn’t have the privilege of working.”

“That’s right.”

“You already got other idiots to get you out of work. I’m not going to join the stupid ranks, so you can forget it.”

Tucker snatches Jason’s book out of his hand and tosses it carelessly into a corner. “You better reconsider that, Stevenson. Next week you get another chance. Don’t blow it.”

Jason lowers his eyes. Every fiber in his being wanted to stand up and slug Tucker, but he didn’t dare. He might be miserable, but he didn’t have a death wish.

…Secluded spots aren’t easy to come by, but time for reflecting seems too much. Hope is still within reach though, every time I think of you.
Love, Jason



Katie,
Time flies when you’re having fun, eh? Well, I wouldn’t say it’s a barrel of laughs around here, but it does have some appeal. Not as much appeal as the thought of being with you again though…missing you has become a daily habit.
I know my way around here like the back of my hand now. The facility here is really well-equipped with different areas to keep inmates occupied, and to take care of everyone as well…

“Now what?”

Jason holds a wet cloth to his bloody lip, sinking down onto the infirmary bed. “I’ll give you three guesses. The first two don’t count.”

Dr. Hinley shakes his head. “Zane or Tucker?”

“Yep.”

“How long is the Warden going to let this keep happening? Aren’t you going to say anything?”

“Nope.”

“Why not?”

Jason rolls his eyes. “You tell me what good it’ll do. The Warden turns a blind eye and you know it. Besides…maybe if I ignore these thugs long enough, they’ll quit.”

…Day in and day out, I could bore you with details, but I’ll spare you the agony of trying to stay awake while reading them.
Love, Jason



Katie,
I wonder if days really do become longer…each hour presses on without promise of ending. I’ve taken some time to do some writing. Not a whole lot of inspiration around here, but a few songs have come to mind. I just wish I had my guitar. But pencil and paper have to do…

Jason erases his last line and rewrites it, satisfied with finally getting three verses complete. He was almost finished, and he already had a tune in his head as well. Sitting in a secluded corner of the recreational court was the best spot he could find this time of the day. But it still had its drawbacks…it couldn’t be locked.

“Well, well, well. I’ve been looking all over for you.”

Jason recognizes Tucker’s broad shadow, overcastting the bench. “Tucker, come on. Can’t you leave me alone for one day?”

“Getting tired of me already?” Without warning, Tucker swipes the piece of paper from Jason’s hand. “What do we have here, hmm?”

Jason gets to his feet. “Give that back.”

Tucker starts to snicker, “Look at this, boys.” He shows off the lyrics to Duke and Razor. “He’s up to it again with his frilly little poems.”

Razor gives a sinister smile and takes the page for himself, his eyes scanning the words. “Aw, what a shame, too. He went and wrote on my confetti.”

The sound of the paper being ripped in two is like a slap to Jason’s face. The all-too familiar anger surges through his veins. This was the last straw. He couldn’t take it any longer. He’d been bullied since he got here and had fought his own conscience tooth and nail not to allow himself the pleasure of showing he wasn’t the wimp they took him for. But in this moment, the thought of consequences flees.

Jason’s knuckles meet Razor’s jaw with a resounding smack…


“…Jason, can you hear me?”

Jason blinks and looks up into Dr. Hinley’s pen light. “Wha….hmm?”

Dr. Hinley shakes his head. “You’ve been out cold for half an hour.”

Jason sits up straight on the bed, though moves too quickly, and his head starts to spin. “What…”

Dr. Hinley points to the other three beds where Duke is passed out, Tucker is holding a broken nose and Razor is grumbling about his ribs. “And I thought you weren’t going to do anything about them.”

…Life can be great under any circumstance, if the right perspective is assumed. At least that’s what people like to think. Harder to do than one might realize though. A few joys now and again certainly help.
Jason



Dear Katie,
As days progress, I hunt of things to say, but nothing seems new.
We get to spend a lot of time outside as long as the weather permits, so that’s a bonus. It’s been a bit hot lately, but I’d much rather be enjoying the sunshine than be cooped up inside all day…

“Come on, slackers, pick up the pace!”

Jason shoves the spade into the hard earth for the umpteeth time, bringing up a shovel-full of dirt to toss to the side. All morning on the trench and one could no longer feel the sweat and grime. All that was felt was the hot sun and the parched lips longing for a drink.

“Stevenson, you’re holding up the line,” Zane complains. “Get your wimpy hind end moving before I move it for you.”

Jason grits his teeth. Today was not a day to mess with him – he was in a sour enough mood the way it was. Tucker was off his back now, he didn’t need Zane continuously hounding him with idiotic grumblings. Without even thinking, Jason takes a tighter grip on his spade. He was hot, he was tired, and his tolerance for Zane had ended. The swinging spade slams into the side of Zane’s face and head with such force that it sends him reeling to the side, and stumbling into the second trench.

Another inmate moves in, but Jason stands tall, threatening to wield his tool again.

“What’s going on here?” The Warden’s voice booms as he retraces his steps back to the fourth group.

“Zane fell down,” Jason states flatly.

The Warden looks over to where Zane is just picking himself up, a bit wobbly, and wiping blood from the side of his face. “Is that true?”

Zane shoots a look in Jason’s direction.

Jason meets the stare head on with an icy one of his own, and a threatening gesture with his spade.

Zane finally nods. “Yeah, that’s true.”

…Sorry this is short, but I’ve run out of things. Will write more soon.
Jason



Katie,
Routines here aren’t so bad once you get used to them. Though making some friends, most of my time really is spent alone. You know me though – I like it that way. Keeps things quiet…

“Yo, Ace!”

Jason looks up from his woodworking project and sets his protective glasses up on his head. “What?”

Ethan waves to him. “Got another one.”

Jason rolls his eyes. The Warden could care less about what happened in the compound. But there were advantages to helping out the little people by making the bullies pick on somebody their own size.

A small crowd was gathered in the corner of the basketball court where Tucker was beating on the littler Shawn. Though the number of onlookers wasn’t great, it was a noisy bunch as they took sides, most betting on Tucker to win.

Jason’s shadow precedes him, and suddenly someone slaps Tucker’s arm. “Don’t look now. Ace is coming.”

Tucker lets go of Shawn’s collar to turn and see Jason’s tall, muscular frame coming towards him. “The lone ranger rides again, eh?”

Jason holds his chin high, and folds his arms across his chest. He’d gained back the muscular weight he’d come with, and now wasn’t someone anyone else wanted to go up against. “You got a problem? Or do you just want a third broken nose?”

Tucker grits his teeth, but after a short stare down, he backs off. “You wanna spend your time with losers, go ahead.” Scoffing, he spins on his heel and stalks off.

Shawn brushes some dust off of himself and wipes his bloody lip. “Thanks, Ace, I owe ya one.”

Jason assumes his now-typical negotiating stance without so much as a friendly nod. “Next time you wanna work the line instead of me, just say so, and you might find yourself in fewer fights in the future too.”

…And quiet is often good. It’s lights out now. More to come.
J



Katie,
Business as usual. Days all melt into each other, without hardly taking the time for the sunrises and sunsets to separate them. I can hardly believe it’s been over two months since I saw you.
One could fall into this life and get used to it pretty easily. Camaraderie makes things tolerable…

Jason carries his food tray down the row of tables, aiming for the four empty seats across from Ethan and his bunch. The newcomer, Keith, though, purposely beats him to the spot.

He stops beside the chair and glares down at the shorter man. “There’s an empty seat across the row,” he suggests with a threatening edge.

Keith looks up, his eyebrows rising in a challenging statement. “This one wasn’t taken.”

“It is now.” Jason can feel Tucker, Duke and Razor come up behind him, creating a force not even the Warden liked to confront anymore.

Keith stares at Jason for a moment, giving him a cocky once over. “You’re Ace, aren’t you?”

“What of it?”

“I heard about you…They say you don’t throw the first punch, but it’s the second one everybody’s scared of.”

Jason’s eyes narrow. “Don’t make me give you a demonstration. You’re in my seat.”

Keith opts to surrender. He picks up his lunch and leaves to go find another place, though throws Jason a glare to let him know he would be back to challenge again.

Jason ignores him, and plops down in his usual spot and digs into the not-so-great chicken.

“Better watch it, Ace,” Ethan warns. “The Warden likes that one.”

“You think I’m afraid of the warden?” Jason shoots back. He had a reputation now, and knew how to use it. He didn’t beat the innocent to a pulp nor bully for the fun of it. But no one dared to stand up to him, and crossing him meant the infirmary for sure. Survival of the fittest was the rule here.

…Interesting facts seem to be lacking, so I’ll end here.
J



Con leans on his side, propped up on his elbow, enjoying the breeze as he and Jamie sit on the spread blanket on the sandy beach. He takes a bite of his sandwich and sighs with satisfaction. Taking advantage of one of his few days off, it felt good to get out and do something different. His body was exhausted, but he wasn’t going to give up time spent with Jamie. “Mmm, you sure do know how to make a sandwich,” he comments, a smile playing at his mouth. He’s quiet for a moment, thinking. “I haven’t made it out to TJY much lately…how’s Katie holding up? I heard Reese thought they might have a slight lead on the case with Jason, but nothing solid.”


Two months. Carson wasn’t sure he believed that much time had passed. It seemed impossible. He taps his fingers absentmindedly on his steering wheel, tempted to turn back. But he was here now…and he knew its where he belonged.

Stepping out of the car, he slowly makes his way to the door. He walked tall, a quiet confidence in his step. An air of humility underlined his disposition, a contrast to the past. His eyes are clear, life showing through, though there were areas of darkness…areas that reflected parts of his heart that had grown dim. But he held onto them as reminders… reminders of mistakes that should not be repeated.

Hesitating, Carson enters the building. It felt so strange, yet familiar at the same time. He had no idea what he would be walking into, nor if he would be accepted.

Opening another door, he steps onto the main floor of TJY. It was quiet today…late afternoon, probably some people had gone home already. Carson swallows hard. The feeling of the worn chain around his neck feels heavier. He had not been back since… He quickly replaces the thoughts with something else.

Walking slowly, cautiously, he finally nears enough to be able to see Nate at his desk. He stops and simply stands, not knowing how to approach. Not knowing what to say. He had been silent for two months…he didn’t know what to expect. For all he knew, everyone here blamed him for the past as much as he did himself. But if he didn’t at least see for himself, he would always wonder, and that was something he was no longer willing to do.

Catching Nate’s eye, he waits.

how

*Katie stands with Wyatt for as long as he needed. When Katie had needed a friend Wyatt was there. Now it was Katie's turn to repay the favor. Katie keeps her had on Wyatt's back as he turns to Nate. Her own questions in her eyes.

As Nate hears the phone dead he hangs up his own phone. His own heart breaks inside his chest. For Reese and Wyatt, for Misty's friends, and for Carson himself. No matter what happend Nate new Carson had cared for Misty and probley still did.*

"That was Carson. He hurd about the plane and wanted to know if it was really Misty's. I dont know how he found out so fast. I know it hit him hard from the noises in the background. Than the line went dead. Other than that I dont know anything on where he is. I could try and *89 the call but I dont think it would do any good."

*Nate lets out a sigh and leans his head back on the chair.*

"Why God are you leting this happen?"

*It was for Nate's mind to fathem Misty being gone. In a sence Nate felt it was his fault. He told Misty to go back to move on with her life. If he hadent interfeared she might not have gone back. It tore Nate apart inside to think they would never see Misty again.*

*As Jamie stratens up her mind wonders to Carson. How did he know what happend to Misty so fast? There really wasent an explanation for it. Leting out a sigh Jamie turns back to Reese.*

"I better get back to work. Get my mind off everything for now. IF you need ANYTHING or help with anything please Reese let me know."

*Jamie exites the office and heads to her desk in an attempt to clear her mind. Having little affect though She cant help her tears.*

Regret

Laura looks up from her desk, seeing Katie disappear into Reese's office...something didn't feel right...but she stays, not sure if it was something she should barge in on or not.

Wyatt stands as Katie enters, and accepts her hug, for once needing it himself. A tear finally escapes to run down his cheek, and he doesn't stop it. There was no shame in crying with this group of people. They were family.

Hearing Carson's name, Wyatt looks up quickly to Nate. Carson was calling? He gives Nate a questioning glance. What was going on?


As Nate confirms the worst, the oceanside view from the small bungalow loses it’s beauty and everything becomes gray. Carson’s knees buckle and he leans on the small kitchen table for support, his grip on the phone making his knuckles turn white. Dread overcomes him as a title wave, making the room spin. Time stands still as past scenes rush into his mind. His own words echo in his ears. “For the last time – go.” Misty’s tears…blood…the pain in her eyes…he had done that. The horror of the truth intensifies the anguish.

He was responsible for this.

If he hadn’t screwed everything up, Misty wouldn’t have gotten hurt…she wouldn’t have wanted to go back to England…she would still be alive.

Shock settles in and Carson cannot find any words. The phone is still to his ear, he can hear Nate asking him a question, but his voice seems to be completely lost.

Suddenly his body retaliates against his strong emotional state. Dropping the phone, he spins around to retch in the sink, doubling over as his stomach receives the brunt of what he is feeling.

It’s several moments before he can straighten up again, and he staggers to the table. Reaching for the phone, he shuts it off without even saying anything more to Nate. His grip tightens, and in a burst of anger, the phone goes flying across the room, crashing into the wall.

Sinking to the floor, he slides down against the counter, any energy leaving him completely. An innocent girl had died…Misty…the young woman who had turned Carson’s world upside down was gone.

Whether he likes it or not, memories hurl themselves in his direction. The first time he’d seen Misty…the first kiss he had stolen with no idea how it would springboard them into their relationship. She had touched the hidden places of his heart…shown him where the light was when he’d been lost in his own dark world. She had shown him what it felt like to be loved.

And he had thrown it all away. And for what? A fling with a woman who could care less about him. Feeling stupid couldn’t even being to describe how he felt…he hated himself. The horror he was experiencing compared to nothing else.

A time not all that long ago, Carson had been desperate enough to attempt taking his own life. This time, it went beyond that, to a desperation so deep it went too far to resolve by any self-inflicting act. This time he deserved to live with this pain. He deserved to feel it and endure it because it was him who had put these events into motion.

I'm sorry

*Jamie just stands with Reese trying to offer him comfort but knowing she hardly can in a situatioin like this. When would the pain for the innocent end. When would life work out.

The door to Reese office opens once again as Katie bursts in.*

"I just saw the news in the break room. Was that..."

*Katie dosent need to say anymore as she looks around the room as the faces and tears. Looking over at Wyatt Katie's heart goes out as a cry gets caught in her throt. Instintly Katie is next to Wyatt bending down an huging him.

As Nate sits in the chair lost in though as his phone rings making him jump. As Nate answers he is a bit saprised to hear Carson's voice on the other end.*

"Carson....We got the call it was...they are saying it was fowl play....we dont know what to think right now....I'm sorry Carson."

*For a moment Nate is silent and than speaks again as something comes to mind.*

"How did you find out so fast yourself?"

Call

Reese’s face pales as the news hits his ears. He stands at his desk and blinks, not wanting to believe what he heard was true, but the tears in Jamie’s eyes proved the horrible truth.

He numbly receives Jamie into his arms, offering fatherly protection, while desperately trying to hold in his own emotions. “Oh, Misty,” he whispers. “No…”

Wyatt’s mouth drops open and he just stares at his father and Jamie until the scene becomes blurry and he realizes that tears are about to spill over. Turning his back, he takes a deep breath, his mind reeling. How could this be happening? Misty…his cousin…he’d just seen her…talked with her… She had so much going for her…so much life… this just couldn’t be true…

Turning back around, he looks to Nate, not knowing what will happen next. If this was the Agency, surely they had to do something…but what? Then a thought hits him…Carson.

As if on cue, Nate’s cell phone suddenly rings.

A familiar Australian voice comes through without needing to identify himself. “Please tell me that wasn’t Misty’s plane…”