How to feel?

Carson can't even think of an intelligent response as his mind begins to reel. The room starts to spin, and he's overwhelmed with questions and possibilities. If this were true...if this picture was real..

"She...must have had a reason?" He gropes for an explanation.

A churning in his heart brings unexpected tears to his eyes. He blinks as they sting, and stares at nothing, trying to comprehend what this all meant.

Misty was alive.

Two months of enduring pain like no other…two months of toting around that sickening guilt…two months of agonizing over what could have been. And she was alive.

Confusion bombards Carson’s mind. How he could feel the joy and anger at the same time, he didn’t know. Misty wasn’t stupid. She would have known everyone would think her dead. And Carson had tortured himself, taking the blame for something had hadn’t even happened. He’d put himself through heck and for what? All the pain all the anguish, all the horrifying nightmares of what he’d caused…and it had all been a lie.

Feeling foolish wasn’t the half of it. He felt stupid, he felt played, he felt like the dang fool he was.

And yet…struggling against anger, a light shines somewhere in the darkness. Misty was alive. He couldn’t deny the sheer elation that news brought on. The thought of a second chance…the thought of seeing her again was enough to make his pulse quicken. For the last two months he’d wanted so badly to hold her in his arms again that he could taste it…and now there was a real chance that could happen.

But…Carson’s heart sinks a little. Misty had apparently been purposeful in her move. Could he blame her? If he’d been in her shoes, would he have done differently? If he’d been betrayed by someone he loved and had felt that lost, would he have passed up the opportunity to start again as someone else? And if he’d made such a great effort to separate himself from his old life, would he want someone from the past invading the new life?

Anger. Joy. Indecision. All three surrounded Carson’s heart, creating a swirling abyss of confusion. He felt a million things at once, yet still didn’t know how to feel.

As the shock settles into his veins, he sits…staring into nothingness.

"If she ever wanted to get back at me," he comments quietly, "she did a good job of it."