Apology

Jason’s eyes widen as Katie talks, his face paling slightly as he sinks down into the chair next to her bed. He just stares at her in shock, even when she changes the subject, hardly hearing what else she says. At first he wants to be upset. How could she think he’d do something like that? That guitar was one of the most precious gifts he’d ever received. Did Katie really think he was capable of selling it? But then…he suddenly realizes the words he’s chosen to say. He was incredibly evasive all day…if he were in her shoes, he probably would think the same thing. He couldn’t blame her one bit for her accusation, and he begins to see just what a mess he’s created.

Unable to help himself, Jason leans forward, resting his arms on the bed and burying his face. His shoulders begin to shake, slightly at first, then uncontrollably. Starting to have a hard time breathing, he lifts his face just enough to reveal his reddened face and eyes filled with tears as his laughter is contained in silence. Throwing his head back he sinks back into his chair. Covering his eyes with his hand, he is unable to stop laughing, though keeping it silent begins to deplete his oxygen supply and he gasps for breath. He tries to speak once, but it starts all over again until he has to lean forward and stare at the floor, forcing himself to quit. Finally calming his breathing, he looks up at Katie, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. “Oh, Katie…” Another small laugh escapes. “I’m so sorry. I had no idea I’d given you such a bad impression about what was going on.” He shakes his head and takes a deep breath, his sides aching. “In an attempt to simplify things I just made one of the worst messes ever – it’s entirely my fault.” Yet another laugh makes its way to the surface as he replays the morning in his mind. “First I get called out by a county sheriff, then I disappear for half the day, then I come back without all my stuff…” He has a hard time containing more laughter, and reaches out to take Katie’s hand in his, giving it a squeeze. “It’s not at all what it looks like, and I did not sell my guitar. I don’t owe gangsters any money, and I’m not wanted by the police.” He shakes his head, and wipes his eyes again. “I’ve done a right good job of making a fool out of myself, that’s for sure, and I do apologize.” He runs a hand through his hair. “At least I looked good for the occasion.” Still shaking his head, he sighs deeply with amusement. “What am I going to do with you, hmm? I can’t get away with anything. But you have absolutely nothing to worry about, okay? It’s nothing you need to think about, and if my guess is right, by tomorrow it will all be over. Trust me when I say to forget it, because it’s most certainly not as big a deal as I accidentally made it out to be. Come to think of it, it’s downright silly." For just a brief moment, something passes through his eyes so fleetingly that it would not be caught by the untrained focus...but it's a strange look of subdued hope almost, maybe a hint of melancholy, and just ever so slightly something that hints of continued hidden truth out of fear. How real was his laughing fit? "So just clear your mind, and one day when I can face the embarrassment, I’ll tell you all about it. For now, chock it up to a man's foolishness.”