A Long Talk

Wyatt cradles Katie as she falls asleep, and finally releases her gently onto her pillow. He stands at the window for a while, makes a quiet phone call to Reese that he could be contacted here for the time being, and he finally settles into the chair by Katie’s bed to watch over her.

His mind wanders to and fro whether he likes it or not, so he allows it freedom. He hadn’t planned on letting his heart get this far with Katie…he’d been burned before, and had determined he would proceed with much caution. But somewhere along the line he’d let go, and love had started to form.
Now he sat here watching her as her own heart broke because another man was gone. She said she was just friends with Jason, and Wyatt believed her. The two did interact as friends would…but it was their eyes that betrayed them both. Perhaps Katie and Jason’s feelings could not necessarily be defined as love, and perhaps even if it could be, it might not be distinguished as a romantic love. But it was enough to drive a wedge between Wyatt and Katie, preventing them from sharing any more.
Wyatt felt hurt…maybe more than he should. He’d seen the signs early on and should have been smart enough to pull out sooner. But he’d liked Katie too much, and still did.
For now, his choice was to be a shoulder for Katie if she wanted it, not to push, and to learn to be satisfied with simple friendship. It wasn’t what he wanted…it wasn’t what he’d planned…but he didn’t want to lose her altogether. And somewhere…somewhere deep down, a small spark of hope still lingered…the future was unwritten. He couldn’t erase himself from the page with the chance that the story might change. And if it did change…he would be waiting.


Jason slings his duffel bag over his shoulder and walks slowly down the driveway, the gravel crunching under his boots. It was early yet…the sun was still below the horizon, giving the sky a strange reddish-gray color. It was odd to be back here now like this. He felt as though he were a welcomed intruder.

His emotions were at a different spot than they’d ever been before. He felt hurt…sad…his pride was all but nothing, and he had no desire to fight.

Approaching the mess hall, he’s not surprised to see the figure standing on the porch waiting for him. News just traveled way too fast, especially when one worked at TJY.

He stops at the bottom of the steps and looks up at Austin. For the first time in a long time, he felt as though maybe he needed his grandfather’s wisdom.

For a few moments, the two just look at each other, their eyes saying much more than words ever could. Austin finally nods to the door. “No one else is up yet. Let’s talk.”


Wyatt looks over at Katie, returning a small smile. He could tell that she wasn’t as distraught as she had been hours before…the night had a way of bringing things into focus. But her eyes still showed a dull and weary soul. She was miserable…and it was all his fault.
“Morning, Katie,” he offers quietly. “Can I get you anything?”


“…so I left.” Jason holds his coffee cup between his hands, the steam lingering in the air between him and his grandfather who sat across the table from him.

Austin looks at him thoughtfully…compassionately. Now was not the time for reprimands. Jason wasn’t trying to be rebellious or stir up trouble…he was simply lost. “What about your resignation? What’s that all about?”

Jason can’t help a rueful chuckle at that one. “If I’d left like that without saying anything, Carter would have my hide. As it sits, he’s not going to want me to resign, so he’ll be asking for me to come back, rather than giving me a tongue-lashing.”

Austin lets a wry grin form. “You’re too smart for your own good sometimes, you know that?”

“Not often enough.” Jason lets his eyes fall to his warm drink. “I was too selfish, Austin. I knew Wyatt and Katie were forming a relationship, and yet I continued to get in the way. I did spend too much time with her, and this is the result.”

“Friends spend time together, Jason. I would have though Wyatt could understand that.”

“Yeah, well Katie and I were together just about twenty-four/seven. It wasn’t exactly a great picture that was painted when we were in a hotel together either.”

Austin quirks an eyebrow. “Well did the two of you…” He lets his unfinished question apply its own implication. There was no condemnation or ridicule, just simple wondering.

Jason takes no offence - his grandfather is simply trying to put pieces together. “Naw, nothing happened.”

Austin cocks his head. “But there were times it wasn’t easy, weren’t there.”

“I am human.” A bit of color hits Jason’s cheeks.

Austin chuckles. “As much as you’ve done and accomplished, yes, Jason, you’re still human.” He pauses a moment. “So why do you feel guilty about that?”

Jason’s eyes meet his. “I shouldn’t have let my feelings get the best of me.”

“You didn’t.”

“But I…”

Austin shakes his head. “It’s not exactly been an easy situation for you to be in. Unless you’re made out of stone, there were bound to be times you felt just on the verge of out of control. But what happened?”

“Well I almost…I mean…nothing.”

“And you condemn yourself?” Austin takes a sip of his coffee. “You’re blaming yourself for not having enough control to steer your own thoughts and emotions. Yet by the simple fact that you never overstepped your bounds proves that your self-control is still in tact. Don’t be so hard on yourself.”

Jason recalls the night at his house…the evening on the hotel balcony. “But I wanted to…”

“And you didn’t,” Austin states simply. “Look, if the reason you’re separating yourself from Katie is because you can’t handle that anymore, then for goodness sake, go take a cold shower, think it over and work on that control. Everybody can always gain more self-control. If holding her hand drives you up a wall, then either quit it or get a handle on it. But if the reason is because you feel guilty for nothing, or because someone else thinks you’ve spent too much time with her, then you’ve allowed yourself to be defeated. I can understand Wyatt’s jealousy… but there are ways to work that out without leaving altogether. Maybe it isn’t the time spent with Katie, but how you’re spending that time. Maybe you just need to be more careful about what positions you get yourself into with her. Getting caught sleeping next to her wasn’t anything you’d done wrong – it was just plain stupid.” He continues to look at his grandson. “I know you don’t want to mess anything up, and you’re scared you’re going to make the wrong decisions. But we all fall down, Jase. You just gotta pick yourself back up and keep going. It’s life.” He pauses, taking another swallow of coffee and letting his words settle before continuing. “Is there a reason you haven’t pursued anything more than friendship with Katie, when you’ve had feelings like this?”

Jason swirls his coffee around, stirring up some sugar that hadn’t dissolved. He wasn’t sure he could answer that.

Austin waits. “Do you love her?”

Jason rolls his eyes. “Why does everybody keep asking me that?”

“Because that should determine your actions. Do you?”

“I don’t know.” Jason replays Jamie’s words in his mind. She had sensed that he did love Katie and that Katie loved him too. But was it really the truth? Was that really what it was?

Austin sighs, looking at Jason with sympathy. “What do you know?”

“She’s the best friend I’ve ever had,” Jason states plainly. “If it weren’t for her, I don’t know where I’d be right now.”

“So you care for her.”

“Of course.”

“But not love?”

Jason hesitates. “If I can’t determine what love is, how can I determine if it’s what I feel?”

“What did you feel for Jade?”

Jason looks up quickly. He hadn’t thought about that for a while, and it felt strange to be put on the spot like this. “I don’t know…I liked her…a lot…I suppose I still do in a way. I just…it was different than Katie. Jade was just…”

“Safer? May I be so bold to suggest that it may have been easier to let yourself down with Jade because she didn’t challenge your emotions? Could it be that there was no depth, and therefore it was easy?”

Jason’s gaze drops. “Maybe.”

Austin takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly as he leans back in his chair. “Do you want something more with Katie? Forget whether or not you love her…love develops over time anyway, and it can be downright hard to determine sometimes. But do you want to have a different relationship with her?”

“Right now?” Jason thinks, then shakes his head slowly. “I don’t think so…I mean…I’ve still got the emotional battle that I need more control over like you said… but apart from that… I just don’t think it’s a good idea right now. I’m afraid if we tried anything else that it would just confuse things and it would be too forced. And I guess I like what we have right now…that friendship.”

“You do realize that you have a choice other than leaving altogether or pursuing something different, don’t you?”

“Like what?”

“Leaving things as they are.” Austin offers a small smile. “If you and Katie have something special the way it is, why force it to change? Who knows how you’ll feel a year from now? Five years from now? But why worry about it? Why force yourself to make a black and white decision, when it’s perfectly acceptable to simply be yourself?” He chuckles. “If you and Katie want to hold hands in public simply because it makes you both feel safe, then who cares what the gossip is? If you want to watch movies all night and fall asleep on the couch together simply because you’re comfortable, then who cares what others think?” Austin pauses, forcing Jason to look up at him. “No, you don’t want to give people the impression that the two of you are behaving inappropriately, which does require some smart choices of circumstance – perhaps falling asleep with her at the hospital wasn’t so intelligent. But why not just be yourselves and let things develop as they will without fighting for or against it?”

Jason can’t help a slight scoff. “You make it sounds so simple.”

“Why does it have to be hard?”

“What about Wyatt?”

“What about him?” Austin retorts. “If you had your act together, he probably wouldn’t be so worried. Not to mention, you can’t shoulder all the responsibility for that scenario. Katie will have to steer him in the direction they go, not you. If Katie thinks that you’re interfering, she’ll tell you. If she wants to pursue a life with Wyatt, then she’ll spend less time with you. If you and Katie stick to just being friends and Wyatt still has a problem with it, then that’s his problem.” He shrugs. “You have to let those two work it out themselves. If you see that they’re pursuing each other and you believe that there are things you’re doing with Katie that you shouldn’t, then ease off. I know it wouldn’t be easy, but you value your friendship with her enough to learn that control. The only thing you can’t do is leave completely. It might feel like the easiest route…but if you really care about you friendship with Katie no matter if she’s with Wyatt or not - and I know Katie cares about her friendship with you aside from anyone else…leaving just makes you miserable, and it’s not fair to Katie.”
Austin gives his grandson an encouraging smile. “No one ever said it would be easy, Kid. But do yourself a favor and stop fighting.”

The back door suddenly opens. Cindy trudges into the mess hall with a yawn, not having been able to sleep any more, and wanting to put some coffee on for Wes and everyone else. She looks over at the table in surprise, not having thought anyone else was up yet. As she nears, her eyes widen and she stops. “Jason!”

Leaving his conversation with Austin at a close, Jason stands up quickly. Without hesitating, he goes to Cindy, leaning down to give her a big hug. “Hi, Mom.”

Cindy returns his hug with enthusiasm. “I didn’t know you were coming! When did you get here?”

“I didn’t know I was coming either,” Jason admits, pulling away from the embrace. “I just got here a while ago. Austin and I have been talking.”

Cindy stands back and looks up at her son, suddenly feeling just a little awkward. She opens her mouth, but Jason cuts her off.

“I know why you haven’t called me,” he comments quietly. He’d been thinking a lot about this conversation. “You knew I’d be a bit upset about you and Wes, and you were right. But I’m sorry.” Jason shakes his head. “I know I’ll always be your son and you’ll always need me to be that son. I had no right to be upset, and…I’m really happy to see you finally happy. You deserve it.” He sees the tears welling up in his mother’s eyes, and swallows hard. Finding a quick exit route from the awkwardness, he takes her hand to look at her ring. “Say now…Wes did a good job, didn’t he?”

“He sure did.” Cindy can feel the heat in her face. “Thank you, Jason.”


Austin watches the exchange from the table, between mother and son. He hadn’t seen Jason confused like this in a long time…he hoped his words had made sense, but there was a look in Jason’s eye that concerned him. Though he was down and out, there was a look there that forewarned he could make a snap decision on impulse and it could be disastrous. Austin could only hope he could keep Jason here long enough to help him see a clear path before pulling any stunts.


Con nods to several coworkers, and gives a small wave to Jamie before he eases down at his desk, resting his elbows in front of him to put his chin on his hands. He’d been up half the night trying to figure out where Jason had gone, and had finally determined that he’d indeed headed back to the ranch. Con wasn’t sure why, but he hoped that whatever the reason, it would help resolve his problems, and fast. Katie wasn’t going to last much longer under this pressure.