Coolness

Jason swallows hard, his eyes closed as he feels Katie near. This just wasn't fair...how could he so badly want to share himself again, while at the same time be so locked away that he could not? He remembered a time when he had fought love tooth and nail, fearing himself and fearing the future. But this time he'd taken it one more step and actually accomplished the coldness he'd set out to find. For if he could not feel the love, then he could not fear it. He was depressed...he was hurt...he was angry... And he was no longer the man Katie needed. He was no longer a man that could love. He was no longer a man that knew how to live. Holding on to this relationship with Katie was but a last ditch effort to feel, but at what cost would it occur?

Drawing back, Jason reaches up his hand to tuck a strand of hair behind Katie's ear. He sees the tears in her eyes and feels the pain all over again. "Don't be sad," he pleads quietly. His emotions were tucked safely away, but he could still show what he was feeling without releasing them to her, and his eyes showed a longing for the pain to stop. "You can't let me do that to you."

His eyes search hers, his gaze piercing through to the deepest depths. "Let me go before it's too late," he whispers. "You deserve to be free." She deserved to be free of his rampant emotions. She deserved to be free of the chains his lack of love had formed. She deserved to be free of the pain he was causing. He hated his circumstances and he hated himself. Yet he was helpless against the forces that had taken over.

Before he broke under the own weight in his heart...before she could cling to him, his eyes go void of the feelings that had just existed. He couldn't stand this any longer. Hardly able to follow through, he stands up, forcing Katie to slide from his lap. He aims her toward his door before letting his hands fall from her shoulders. "You need to leave," he directs. His voice was etched with the hidden emotions, yet he chose to lace them with a coolness that drove away the warmth. If he didn't stop this war now, he feared it would never end...and he would rather see Katie free and happy than with him and miserable. If being harsh was the only way to accomplish that, then so be it.

Jason had only been back a few days...but the turning of time could twist any circumstance into something hated before one could blink. And as such, so too had a bond been twisted and strained, threatening to break. Were they to simply take a break from each other? Were they to walk away never to return to each other? Were they to stay friends? Were they to turn this thing around and try again? Time was the only one who could tell, and it was time that kept the answer hidden from Jason's view.