Hard pressed to shine

Con helps get Laura to her feet as Jamie heads out, and gets her a jacket to put over her shoulders. Getting her back outside, he locks the door, but leaves the lights on, not bothering to take the time to shut everything down.

The hospital visit is long and painful. Laura hates every moment, but remains steady and unbreakable, answering questions as if she were simply on a TJY case. Afterward though, the pace picked up and things changed rapidly, leaving Con and Jamie home once more, and Laura safe.


"You mean to tell me that you just up and left? You didn't tell anyone?" Though after Jess' phone call, Derek already knew this, he had not told Axel of that conversation.

Axel looks at the living room floor, his feet in his socks making a pattern in the carpet. "No..."

"Axel." Derek shakes his head, disappointed. "I figured even though I'd told you to stay, that you coming here was alright, and I wasn't going to give you a bad time. But you didn't even tell your friends or anybody? They're probably worried sick."

"They'll probably be glad I'm gone." Axel looks up to meed Derek's eyes. "I'm a monster, remember? When monsters disappear, people rejoice - they don't care where it's gone."

"You're not a monster," Derek reprimands. "I thought I'd gotten that through your thick skull."

"Yeah, well... I guess I didn't think close friends would find out my past, then sock me for it."

"Rocky was wrong. And he probably knows it."

"Nah. He was protecting Jess."

"The "friend" you've mentioned?"

A bit of color comes to Axel's face, but he doesn't lower his gaze. "She was a close friend. But now she'll probably never want to speak to me again."

"Well I wouldn't either, if you just ran off without even telling me!" Derek sighs and leans back in his chair. "You're just making things worse, Ax. What are you planning to do? Run the rest of your life?"

"No. I just want to stay here. Start over. I don't know."

"Why can't you go back and explain yourself?"

"And face everyone? Everyone who thought they knew me? Everyone who is so appalled by my past record that they won't even let the women in their lives close to me anymore? Would you want to go back to that?"

Derek shakes his head. "No... probably not. But what you're doing now won't even give you a chance to keep those bridges from burning. Do you really want to ruin those friendships for good?"

"I already have."

Derek studies Axel with compassion. After several moments of silence, he leans forward again. "Look... you know you're welcome to stay here as long as you like. I like having you here and so does everyone else. But you're running... and if you run from this now, that's all you'll be doing for the rest of your life. I know your record isn't clean, and it never will be. But stop being afraid of what people will think or do. Give them some credit for accepting you despite any kind of past."

"If I could just prove..."

"You're missing the point. So Rocky hit you. So what? The information caught him off guard. And what do you do? You prove him right by running away. And what about the others? The rest of the band? The friends in Nevada that you made? Are they chopped liver?"

"Of course not, but..."

"But you've made up your mind that they'll all be through with you. They'll all turn their backs and never want to speak to you again. Woe is me... poor me, no one wants to be my friend." Derek smirks at Axel. "How mature is that?"

If it were anyone else, Axel would have gotten upset. But he couldn't with Derek. "I just want to stop fighting so hard. I just want... to start over."

Derek takes a deep breath. "We all do... and you're allowed. But think about it. Don't make up your mind in one day or even two. Don't say you'll never go back. Have you prayed about it?"

"Kind of... I mean... what would I pray for? That they'd just overlook a record like mine?"

"Why not?"

"That's impossible."

"With God?" Derek can't help his amused expression. "You know better than that. If you'd found out that kind of thing about Rocky, what would you do?"

"I don't know... probably watch him... keep an eye out... but I'd let him prove he wasn't like that anymore."

"So why aren't you allowing the others to do that with you? You haven't even given them a chance to make up their own minds. You're too scared of rejection, so you just avoid the whole thing altogether and make up their minds for them." Derek pauses and stands up. "I'm not going to tell you what to do, but I'm not going to make it easy on you either, you know that." Walking past the couch, he gives Axel's shoulder a firm pat. "Get some sleep, Ax. We'll talk more tomorrow."

Left alone, Axel sighs deeply. He knew he was wrong. But what else could he have done? What was the point in staying in Nevada anyway?

Looking up, Axel spies a spot of color on the wall. The lamplight in the living room had been caught by a prism on a figurine, and split before hitting the wall.

Getting up, he ambles over to the wall, and runs his hand over the little rainbow. His ears long for the sound of thunder. But the refreshing rains don't come. He'd outrun the storm clouds. But without them, a rainbow would be hard pressed to shine.


Ryder pays the cab driver and shuts the door, standing on the cub as the car engine dies away in the distance. A dog barks somewhere. Tires squeal blocks away. Ryder stares up the sidewalk that led to the house. He rolls his eyes at himself. Why he'd picked this location, he might never know. But it had been a logical choice, really. TJY was closed down for the night, and all spare beds were taken. He certainly wasn't going to Carson's. He didn't think it would go over to well, showing up at Jason's. And anybody else, he didn't know. He had a few addresses in his pocket and that was as much as he knew in this town.

He looks around, glancing down the lit street. He already missed the bush.

Taking a deep breath, he trudges up the walk and onto the porch, keeping his backpack on his shoulder. He'd eaten humble pie before... and though sick of it, maybe he could afford to eat once more piece. If it would give him a good night's rest, it was worth it.

After ringing the doorbell, he waits. He can hear light footsteps and backs up a little, hoping he was at least at the right house. As the inside door opens, he knows he is.

Staring through the screen door, his eyes meet Katie's. "My fear of flying came back," he mentions quietly. "I guess Nevada is stuck with this Aussie for a while."