Though Scott doesn't look at Hope as she speaks, and though some might think his mind was a thousand miles away, he was listening. He was taking in her words, analyzing them, calculating, and trying desperately to cling to the encouragement they offered. It was hard though. Two months of being put down and being helpless wasn't easy to overcome. And there were still blank spots in his memory.
At Hope's suggestion to take pictures, Scott slowly looks back up at her. He'd always loved taking pictures... it was the one thing away from computers that he could do well. He used to have fun with it. Fun... what did that mean to him anymore?
Finally he nods. "I'll have to find a camera," he comments quietly. "Everything... all my things... it's all gone." He remembered one camera in particular that had been his favorite. He'd saved up a long time to buy it. He didn't like digital. He'd gone old fashioned, but always thought the pictures turned out better anyway.
Sitting quietly for a few more minutes, Scott finally rises to his feet again. Though open for a few brief moments, he had shut down again, and this time was too tired to fight it again.
"I'll, um... have Rick... set up the next time or... or something. If... I feel like coming back." He hadn't needed to add the last part, but saying it reminded him that he was still in control of his own decisions. It was up to him if he was going to come back, not Rick's and not Hope's.
Though on his way to the door, he turns one more time, bravely looking at Hope and mustering up the courage it took. "Thank you..."
Before anything else can be said, he leaves.
Head down and shoulders bent, he goes back through the front office, not looking anyone in the eye until he's finally free again, out in the open air. Taking a deep breath, he heads to Katie's car.
Domino wiggles with excitement, turning around on Katie's lap, and giving her several kisses as if thanking her for waiting for Scott. Giving a little bark, she hops into the passenger seat to greet her master with enthusiasm.
Scott reaches in to pick her up so once he's seated, she can he on his lap, and he scratches her head lovingly. It's several moments before he even speaks, glancing over to Katie. "You can take me..." He stops, thinking. "...back to TJY." He gives a little nod, trying not to change his mind, before he buckles himself in.
The ride is quiet. Scott doesn't say much on the way back to TJY. He doesn't offer any information about what went on inside, but he knows that Katie doesn't care. That was one thing he could count on... Katie would never pry and never push. And right now, that meant more to him than it ever had before.
Dropping Domino off at Katie's and Laura's, then making it to TJY, Scott goes inside slowly, not really sure how to act now. He had a couple things to think about now. Some goals, even though they were small. Maybe Susanne could help him out with this one. But for now... for now he would keep Rick happy by staying here at least another night or two... at least until he felt like he could go home without the fear of himself.
The ringing phone startles Axel from his dazed state, and it takes him a moment to realize just what it was. It wasn't like him to doze off like this, and it was hard to shake the cobwebs.
Getting up, he staggers to the phone by the kitchen, leaning on the counter sleepily as he answers it.
Hearing Jess's voice, he opens his eyes wider, a crooked grin forming. "I like downpours," he muses casually. "Especially when I know they're coming so I can be prepared."
He fiddles with the phone cord, trying to think of something intelligent to say, but his brain seems to have stopped altogether. It wasn't a feeling he liked. "Well this rainbow will be around the shop all day tomorrow, so anytime Stormy wants to stop by it's fine."
Finishing up the short conversation, Axel knows that he'll see Jess tomorrow. At least he hadn't caused too much damage there. Maybe tomorrow he'd have to talk to her a little more about himself so this didn't happen again.
Going back to the living room, he picks up his guitar from the corner and sits down on the edge of his couch, strumming out a new tune...
...A knock at the door startles Axel from his sleep and he squints in the dim light at the clock. He hadn’t intended on sleeping again until he went to bed, but apparently he’d been out for several hours. So much for going for that walk.
Rising slowly, he mumbles a the next knock. “Coming, coming…” He gets to the door and unlocks the deadbolt before opening it and lifting his eyebrows with a little bit of surprise. “Taylor.”
She smiles. “Hey, Ax.” She cocks her head at his tired eyes. “I didn’t wake you, did I?”
“Yeah.” Axel shrugs, leaning on the door. “No problem. What’s up?”
“Oh…” Taylor hands him a manila envelope. “Joel said these were yours so I offered to bring them down.”
Axel takes the recent batch of songs he’d received. “Oh yeah… thanks. I could have gotten them in a day or two.”
“It’s ok.” Taylor shrugs. “I wanted to take a drive anyway. You coming to practice tonight?”
Axel shakes his head, his eyes still weary. “Not tonight.”
Taylor immediately switches gears, standing a little straighter to put more space between Axel and herself. “One of those days, huh?’
“Mm-hmm.” Axel nods. “Tell Rocky I’ll call him tomorrow, alright?”
“Sure. If you need anything…” Taylor grins and shakes her head. “Yeah. See ya.”
“Thanks.” Axel watches until Taylor’s halfway down the stairs until he shuts and locks the door again, ambling back to his chair and tossing the papers onto the table.
Taylor makes it to her car and gets in to drive away. Though she was a little disappointed in the less-than-enthusiastic greeting, she knew better than to stick around. It hadn’t taken the band long to learn that some days, Axel needed his space . All had learned the signs soon after he’d joined them, and though not always even knowing what set him off, there were simply those days when he needed to be left alone. It had taken a few spats, some hurt feelings and some apologies to realize it, but everyone knew each other so well by now, that it was routine. Everybody had their quirks. Axel seemed to have the most of the bunch, but he was a good friend, and an asset to the band.
Heading to Rocky’s, Taylor picks up her cell phone to call Joel and let him know Axel wouldn’t be there tonight.
Luke wanders into the bedroom slowly, but on his own, which was better than the day before. Going over to Angel, he reaches down to run a finger along her face. "Ready to go?" He offers her a smile. "Truck's waiting to get to the airport, whenever you're ready."
Holding out his hands, he helps Angel back to her feet, pulling her into a hug. "I'm gonna miss you, ya know that?" He pulls away, giving her a grin, then leaning in to give her a kiss. "You be careful, alright? And call me."
"Ty!" Wyatt gives a start as the front door opens and closes. He gets to his feet, leaving his open book on the couch. "I've been trying to call you all day."
Ty quirks an eyebrow and retrieves his cell phone from his pocket. He checks the screen he recognizes. "Huh... looks like you have."
Wyatt's eyes narrow at the apathetic tone. "Where have you been? I've been worried about you. Where were you last night?"
"Out." Ty starts for the hallway, but Wyatt is quicker, stepping in front of him.
"Where were you?"
"None of your business."
"It is my business! You're my friend and I care. Talk to me, Ty."
Ty rolls his eyes. "Can I just go to bed?"
"Not until you tell me where you've been."
"With friends, alright?"
Wyatt crosses his arms. "Which friends?"
"My friends." Ty glares at Wyatt. "Last I knew, it wasn't any of your business who I hung out with or where I went. Why start now?"
"Because you're being stupid, that's why."
"Wow. Thanks for the vote of confidence."
"Tell me where you've been!"
"With Brandi, alright?!"
Wyatt searches Ty's face. "You mean to tell me that you spent the night with a girl?"
"She's a woman. Besides, what do you care?"
Wyatt's tone remains firm. "Were you at her place?"
Ty grits his teeth, refusing to look Wyatt in the eye. "Yeah, so what?"
Wyatt continues to study Ty, not believing the questions that were going through his mind. "So last I knew, she didn't have a guestroom."
Ty suddenly looks up at Wyatt, a cocky grin forming on his lips. "Nope."
Wyatt is just about ready to give Ty a piece of his mind, when he sees the flash in the younger man's eyes. "You're lying to me."
Ty holds out his arms. "You asked, I told you. Don't like the truth? Complain to someone else."
Wyatt shakes his head, his tone lowered. "It isn't the truth is it? 'Cause you're not that stupid. You wouldn't pull a stunt like that, no matter how mad you were."
Ty lets his arms drop to set his hands on his hips. He gives a scoffing laugh and shakes his head, lowering his eyes to the floor once again. "I was at the park 'til sundown, then I wound up in Con's truck the night."
"Con's?"
"Yeah, he didn't lock it." Ty shrugs. "I didn't want to go inside so I just...borrowed the backseat for a while."
Wyatt rolls his eyes. "Nice. Then what?"
"I just been wandering around all day. Got something to eat, walked around. Came back here."
Wyatt lets out a long sigh. "Look, Ty... I'm not going to tell you what to do, but please... stick around, alright? I know you're hurt and frustrated, but we're going to get it straightened out. By the time this is all over, you'll have a job back. I promise you that."
"How can you promise a thing like that?" Ty shoots back. "Your dad isn't the boss anymore, or hadn't you noticed? The only reason I'm sticking around is 'cause I wouldn't be able to find a job anywhere else, so my only option is to mooch off of you until something else turns up."
Wyatt lets him shoulder past and stalk down the hall. He lets out a groan. "You're not mooching," he mumbles, though he knows Ty is out of earshot. "Just... stay out of trouble."
"What? No way." Kyle shakes his head as he pulls out of the Pizza Box parking lot, talking on his phone with Rocky. "I can't do that and you know it." He sighs. "I told you why... No... I just... No, I never told them. I can't. I just... can't." He rolls his eyes as Rocky argues with him. "Alright, look... I'll come to your practice session, but only to help you guys figure something else out, alright?"
A day can never last forever. Nor can the feelings and thoughts that drift on the daytime breeze. No, they must pass, and pass into night, bringing a new day once more. A clean slate. A new beginning.
Jason's alarm goes off, startling him from his nightmarish dream. Grabbing it and giving it a good toss, it rips from the wall, abruptly ending the buzzing sound.
He leans back in his pillow and runs a hand over his face, trying to wake up. He wasn't in a good mood. Part of him wanted to go back to work today, and part of him didn't - not as long as Austin was still there. He was tired... he was cranky. The dreams of the past he'd experienced through the night hadn't helped much, and this morning, he was just... miserable.
Not wanting to deal with anything today, Jason puts up an emotional wall - one that would warn the only one who could read him. It clearly said "off me," with a vague intention of lowering the wall as soon as he was in a better mood.
Giving a groan, he rolls over and pulls his pillow on top of his head to block out the world...
Jason pries his eyes open. It was lighter in is room. It was later. How much later? Sitting up, he rubs his eyes, and tries to rouse himself, grabbing his watch off his nightstand. It was nine o'clock. For just a brief instant, he feels panic, but then it's replaced with apathy, and a blatant disrespect.
Sliding out of bed, he takes his time showering and getting dressed. Downing a glass of orange juice, he keeps his emotional wall up for now, feeling too on edge and too unpredictable - he didn't want to put Katie through any unnecessary flareups. When he felt more stable, he'd open up the connection wider...
...The door to TJY opens, and Jason steps in. A few eyes look up from their desks, a bit surprised. He was wearing jeans with holes in the knees, his black leather jacket and black boots - not in the type of apparel recently encouraged by the reining staff.
Setting his sunglasses up on his head, a cocky grin is pasted on his face, his eyes full of fire. Cupping his hands over his mouth, he calls out loudly. "Good morning, TJY!"
Those who realize just what he's doing start to smile and called out their own greetings to him. This morning, for just a moment, it wasn't the Elite... it was TJY.
Ambling down between the cubicles with a confidant air, Jason stops by Laura's first, hanging over the wall.
Laura smirks up at him with amusement. "Well, if it isn't Hotshot, living up to his name. I haven't see that look in your eye for a long time."
Jason winks and clicks his tongue, pointing a playful finger at her. "For everything, there is a season."
"Mmm." Laura's eyes narrow. "Ecclesiastes. I'm impressed."
"You ain't seen nothin' yet."
Laura tries to read into Jason's intentions, but finds it hard, and can only grin and shake her head. "Go get 'em Hotshot. Just be careful."
"I'm always careful." Giving the cubical wall a tap with his hand, Jason leaves her to her work, and continues his route. He throws Nate a sloppy salute as he goes, along with giving Susanne a borderline-flirtatious point from across the room.
Sauntering towards the hallway, he sees Hal emerge, just leaving for the day.
"Hey, Jason."
"Hal! What's up?"
Hal lifts his eyebrows, a grin toying at his mouth. "Not much. Good to see you back."
"Good to be back. I..."
"Jason."
He turns around at the sound of his name, coming face-to-face with Austin. "Yo, Austin! Just the guy I wanted to see."
Austin looks at his grandson sternly. "You're late."
Jason shrugs. "Yep."
"No excuses?"
"Nope." Jason shakes his head. "Just wanted to sleep late. Got a problem with that?"
Austin hesitates, taken off guard by Jason's behavior. "Yes, as a matter of fact, I do. You'll be docked pay for the time you missed this morning."
Another smile spreads on Jason's face as he raises his voice so everyone can hear him. "Hey! I was one of the first to be suspended, and I'm the first to get docked pay due to tardiness!" He holds up his hands in a victory stance. "Troublemakers eat your heart out!"
A whoop and whistle come from one end of the room, but when Austin turns around, the culprits can't be found. He whirls back around to glare at Jason. "What kind of game are you playing?"
"I dunno." Jason crosses his arms casually. "But I'm not out to lose." A tone of seriousness has entered his voice, and his fiery stare blazes with a righteous indignation. "So help me, I'm not out to lose."
Austin grits his teeth. "Get to your office and get to work."
Jason's cocky grin returns and he gives a pathetic bow. "Yes sir, right away, sir." Backing away, he finally spins around, but then stops. "Whoops, almost forgot something." He pats Austin on the shoulder. "No worries. I'll get to my office here in a minute."
Ambling down the cubicles, he comes to Katie's, slinging his arms over the wall. "Hey, Babe." Reaching into the inside pocket of his jacket, he withdraws a small wrapped rose. "One lovely token, for a lovely young lady." He hands it out to her, while at the same time, lowering his emotional wall enough to say he was sorry for his bad mood and for cutting her off earlier.
And another not-so-lovely token, but for just as lovely a lady.
"I told you to get to work!" Austin barks behind him.
Jason rolls his eyes and turns to him. "And I'm saying good morning to my girlfriend. You got a problem with that?"
"Yes, I do. You're supposed to be working."
"Or else what?" Jason challenges. As his emotions churn, it would be obvious to only one that he was not slipping back into the way he used to be, but rather was using this mode against Austin out of pure rebelliousness. It wasn't a mask, but he was using this side of his personality to the extreme.
He gives Austin a sly grin. "You can suspend me... you can dock my pay... but you're not going to fire me, are you?"
"Don't push me, Jason," Austin warns.
Jason holds his grin. "You're too scared to fire me, aren't you? Too scared of who I might take right along with me. Too scared of the uproar to follow." He cocks his head, retaining his arrogance. "Yes, there's some around here you've already had the audacity to fire, but there are some you would never dare do that to. I'm too important, and I hold too much power here." He purses his lips and sets a hand on his grandfather's shoulder. "Guess you're stuck with me."
Austin glares at Jason for several moments before finally spinning on his heel and stalking back towards his own office.
Jason turns around, the feelings inside of him boiling and churning in every direction as he kept them from doing damage around him. He looks back at Katie with a pleasant expression. "Maybe I should do at least a little work while I'm here. See you at lunch?"
"Axel you done with that?"
Axel slams the hood on the car and wipes his hands on his towel. "She's ready to roll."
Leo whoops. "We're booking. At this rate we won't have anything to do all afternoon."
Axel grins. "Maybe you won't."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
Axel glances outside. "I think it might rain."
Leo looks confused and cocks his head to see out the open garage door. "Um... the sun is shining."
"Is it?" Axel doesn't offer anymore, and simply turns back to the toolbench to set his wrenches down. Setting one in the box, the all-too familiar pain shoots through his hand again. Wincing, he holds back the words that wanted to come. He'd been fine all yesterday and all morning.
Looking down at his hand, it starts to tremble unconrollably. This was something new... and it scared him just a little bit.
Stopping what he's doing and keeping his back to the other guys, he rubs his hand, trying to get the spasm to stop. It hurt more than normal, and the numbness was setting in again.
Moving slowly to not alert the other guys, Axel moves into the office, letting the door fall shut, and leaning back against the wall to keep working on his hand. This wasn't good.
1/5/09
Anytime
1/4/09
Down pour
Accompanying Scott back to her office Hope's smile never fades glad he was going to stay. He'd mad another choise and another step in the right direction. Slowly, very slowly this would all come together and land to the end resalt.
Moving back to her desk Hope sits down and just watches as Scott moves around the office and stays standing. Once again she says nothing about it, letting him feel his own freedom in the room. As he stops and comes to the pictures on her desk once again, Hope is a bit saprised that Scott in fact new the people in the pictures and had taken them himself. Though not letting the saprise on her face show a softer smile seems to make its way through as she thinks about her friends back in Texas.
"Its a small world after all huh?"
Continuing to let Scott speak Hope just listens waiting to talk till she new Scott was done, and once again seeing the ever so smile make its way on Scott's face Hope can feel the slight bit of joy that maybe, maybe this is how she would help Scott thought the one things that seemed to make him smile.
"They are great people indeed. Its not often you find people in this world anymore who wont judge or turn away at the first glance, but Rosetta was the ond people I met who was so differnt. I never really met Mick. Maybe once but I didnt get to know him as well. But Now that Rosetta is married to him I know that me must be just like her."
Thinking for a moment Hope picks up one of the pictures frams for a moment and almost gets lost in thought as she remembers the last time she was at the ranch.
Follow your heart Hope and it will tell you were to go, let the Lord lead you and give you the understanding on all things.
Rosetta's voice could still be hurd as clear as yesterday in her head. How she had loved being at the ranch and listing to Rosetta and the other talk for days. Even if she had kept to herself it was nice to see the smiles.
Turning her attachen back to Scott the smile still ramins on Hope's face processing Scott's words.
"I think that is a very good thing that you are Katie are still friends and she cares for you a great deal. Your a very nice person Scott, and I couldnt understand how anyone would not want to be your friend."
It was the truth that Hope spoke she didnt know Scott all that well yet but from what she could tell he was a great person. Someone worth knowing.
"You say your worthless Scott, but really stop and think. It's might be foggy and it might be hard but just think...if you were worthless would Katie got out of her way to bring you here? Would she bother being you friend still? Everyone back at TJY that are your friends they dont think your worthless. The person who proclame to be you friends are the ones who matter, the ones who still look up to you and care. Everyone alse is just missing out and un important.'
Hope thinks back once again to a time when she felt less than nothing. It was a part of her life it took a long time to get over but over time she did. She could only hope that her words though not much now would help Scott and show him the way back to happyness.
"I want you to do something for me..if you want that is. I'd like you to go out and take some pictures. They dont have to be perfect and they dont have to be the best, but I'd like them to be pictures of how you feel, or maybe even pictures of what the world looks like to you. If you wanna take someone along with you, you can..but when you come to see me again I'd like you to bring them in and maybe we can see through pictures how we can fix somethings."
Looks up at Scott and catching his eye for a moment Hopes gives a small nod.
"And remember Scott...there is always hope. Even in the darkest of courners hope will be there waiting for you."
Falling silent once more Hope lets her statments linger as she keeps the air open so if Scott wanted to talk more he could or if he wanted to make a comment on her idea he was free too.
Finally crashing on the coutch Jess lets out a long sigh as her day is nearly over. It had been one of those days where things are went good, but somethere it just didnt seem all that great. Maybe it was the morning she had that just set the day in a bad motion.
Seeing the flashing message on the masheen Jess leans over pressing the button and than leaning back on the coutch once again. Hearing Axel's message a small smile cant help but makes its way to her face. She was upset still about the whole thing this morning that happend but now it was starting to go away, and just the simply face the Axel had bother to called her at all proved he was diffent.
Picking up the phone and dialing his number Jess waits till he answers.
"So I hurd that the rainbow might need a little bit of rain to shine tomarrow. From what I am told there is going to be a down pour so it might be in luck."
Though she face couldnt be seen a smile made itself known anyways.
Putting a few more things in her bag Angel lets out a small sigh going over everything once again to make sure she wasnt leaving anything behind. She had more than one reason for going to Nevada but now as she rethought it she wondered if it really was a good idea or not. Luke didnt seem like her minded and Angel was sure if he did he would of said something. But the feeling of maybe not sticking her noise where it didnt belong.
Just leaning back on the bed for a moment Angel is hit with a sudden exsaustion. If anything at least she would be able to see some of the research Misty was working on. Though Angel didnt know her all that well she had hurd much about her work and it intreaged her. If anything alse maybe she would leave Nevada with a little more knowlage. She new one thing for certin though she sure would miss Luke while she was gone.
1/2/09
Just once
Scott swallows hard and wants to withdraw from Hope, but something about her softness... something about her sincerity... something about her gentle tone... he didn't turn.
Forced to look up at her, his eyes search hers, wondering about her intentions... wondering about her motives. Why did she want to help? Why did she care?
Feeling her hand on his, he feels a warmth creep up his arm. It didn't matter why she cared... she did, and that was the bottom line. It was different when his friends cared - that was a given. But knowing that someone he didn't even know had hope in him... had insight enough to tell him not to give up... it meant more to him than he thought it would.
Slowly, slowly, he lets go of the door handle and gives a little nod. "Okay." His voice is quiet and small, and he lowers his eyes once more, but he's willing to walk back in Hope's office. For now... for today... he would stay and do his best. He would try.
Letting his hand slip from hers, he keeps his head down again, but willingly follows her back to her office. Once inside, he just stands for a few moments, contemplating what he was really doing here. He didn't really want to talk about his problems right now. He didn't even know what they were. But he couldn't just stand around not saying anything.
Spying the pictures on her desk once again, Scott approaches once more. And once more, he singles out the photo of Mick and Rosetta. A little braver this time, he picks up the frame, cocking his head to look closer. "This was a good day," he muses quietly.
It really had been a good day. And even though some of it had turned to heartache later, he could still enjoy that part of his past.
"They liked me there, ya know?" His eyes linger on the photo and he remembers how Mick had treated him... how Rosetta had treated him. "I was somebody. I wasn't the geek... or... or the nerd. Nobody made fun of me... nobody put me down."
His thin fingers run over the photo one more time before setting it carefully back down on Hope's desk. Looking over at her, that ever-so-faint smile returns. "I... was the photographer that day," he finally explains. "I was um... a friend of... Rosetta's niece." His eyes roam to the window where he knew Katie was nearby. "We were... engaged once. She still cares about me though." He gives a little nod. "She's the one that brought me today."
Growing quiet again, it's several moments before he even moves. Feeling weary, and too tired to fight the awkwardness, he finally eases down in a chair, though he remains forward, on edge, ready to stand if need be. His eyes roam the room for a moment, once more taking note of the paintings. Now he knew why they looked familiar.
Resting his elbows on his knees, his mind seems to run circles. Maybe it was trying to think of everything but why he was really here... groping for stability... reaching out for something, anything that would make him feel normal.
"I used to have it good," he muses. His tone was soft, forcing anyone listening to try hard at catching what he was saying. "Not so great when I was a kid... got pushed around a lot, but... someone found me." He'd finally felt wanted. "Kinda the grand adventure a nerd dreams about, ya know?"
Scott tries to focus, though it's difficult, and he gradually leans back in his chair, trying so hard to relax... trying so hard to keep himself here. "TJY was... was like where I finally belonged. Even though I messed things up and... and sometimes made mistakes... I still had a place."
He stops, finding it nearly impossible to focus his thoughts, and at the same time, not even sure why he's saying what he is. It really had nothing to do with anything. But perhaps somewhere he thought if he talked, he wouldn't leave room for as much questioning.
"I wasn't the best... I was always... kinda clumsy I guess. But... at least I had a purpose. And then... it was a long time, but... someone even made me feel...special." Katie really had made him feel special, even now, after they'd broken up. "But then everything fell apart."
His eyes grow dim once more. "Nothing is the same. I can't... can't even see straight to do anything I just... can't function. Nothing I do is right... nothing I think is clear. But once.... just once..."
Scott's tone proves his desperation as the emotions fill his eyes again. "Once I felt good. But not anymore. There's just no hope.... I'm not... I can't..."
He looks down, now wishing he hadn't said anything at all. "I'm worthless," he whispers.
"Man!"
Axel turned from the front counter, lifting his eyebrows at Leo's dejected tone. "What?"
Leo smirks at him and points towards the door where the tall brunette had just walked out. "What it is about you?"
Axel doesn't have to fake innocence - he truly didn't know what Leo was inferring. "What are you talking about?"
"You're a chick magnet!" Leo throws his arms up. "I can't get a girl to give me the time of day, but every time some model walks in here, she can't get her eyes off you!"
Axel grits his teeth to keep from grinning. "Oh really."
"Yes, really!" Leo comes around the counter to lean over it, looking at Axel wildly. "What do you do anyway? I wanna know."
Axel finishes putting some papers away, then looks back up at his friend with seriousness. "Well, Leo... maybe it's because I don't try." He pats Leo's shoulder then heads to the door, punching his time card. "I'm out of here."
"You're just gonna leave me hanging like that?" Leo shouts after him. "Traitor!" But as the door falls shut, a little smile creeps into his face and he shakes his head, aiming back for the garage.
Axel skips up the steps to his apartment. Heaving a sigh, he rolls his eyes. Some guys would die to be in his shoes and he knew it... but sometimes his shoes didn't even seem to fit very well on his own feet.
Tossing his jacket across his couch, he greets his goldfish with a pinch of food, then flops down in his corner chair. Reaching back, he parts the horizontal blinds with a finger to look out across the empty lot behind the garage. His mind wanders for several minutes until he finally turns his head to glance at his answering machine. One message.
Getting back up, he goes over to his phone to listen. Rocky's voice greets him.
"Hey, Axel. Listen, Logan's down with something nasty. His voice is going fast. It's gonna take a miracle for him to be able to sing at the show in a couple days. Be thinking. Taylor voted me in, but I was thinking about asking Kyle. Let me know what you think. Later."
Axel gives another sigh and goes back to flop down in his chair again. His day had been long... now it felt longer. There had been good days... he shouldn't complain. But today had been a doozy. He had a headache that made his eyes feel like they'd been hit with two-by-fours, lunch hadn't agreed with him, he'd been blamed for a mistake on a car and...
He stops his mind from going further. It shouldn't really bother him that much that he didn't know whether or not Jess had gotten his message. But obviously it bothered him enough for him to lump it together with everything else from the day. So he'd had a crappy day... so what... tomorrow would be better. It would all blow over, and his stupid mistakes would ride on the wind.
He closes his eyes and lets his head sink deeper into his chair. He wanted to go for a walk... he would go for a walk... but right now he was just too tired.
Austin crumpled up another sheet of paper and let it fall into the waste basket. He rubs his eyes wearily, the misery evident on his face. What was the point anymore? This place? This mission? He looks around his office at all the things the years had built together. He hadn't moved into Carter's office. He hadn't wanted to. This responsibility... running this place... why was it handed to him? Why was he even here anymore?
12/31/08
Look down
Continuing to stay bent down next to Scott Hope dosnt move. Just staying by Scott giving him space between them to breath. Just listing just watching.
As Scott hangs his head and gives his sorrys to Hope, she frowns her brow for a moment. Reaching out a hand she lifts Scott held slightly.
"Dont looks down on yourself, and dont be sorry when you did nothing wrong. Accidents happen and can'tbe helped."
Continuing to watch Hope trys her best for her new pashent that was with her. He needed help and she wanted to help, she wanted him to find trust in her. She new this was going to be a great challange but it was one she was willing to take.
Walking over to Scott Hope just looks at him for a moment and cocks her head slightly. Reaching out her hand Hope takes Scott's in her own bringing her other hand to his chin she lifts his head to look him in his eyes.
"Keep your head up, that is the first step. You have no reason to look down on yourself of on the world. You need to show them you they didnt win. Come on lets go back to my office and talk a little more and we will decied if you want to stay her for a little bit or just come back in a few days"
12/30/08
Power of prayer
Rick paces the infirmary, his mind unable to settle on anything. He looks up at the clock. He'd gotten nothing done, but felt like he'd been working for a week straight. His mind could concentrate on nothing but Scott. So once again, he prayed. It was all he could do... it was the most he could do.
Scott can hear Hope's voice, and knows that he's just made a fool out of himself again. Embarrassment, more than fear, keeps his face buried as he rocks, trying to rid himself of this feeling that was clinging to him so tightly. What he was afraid of, he didn't even know or understand. Why he couldn't function, he didn't know. But all he could do was continue to make messes and cause strife.
But Hope's prompting was just soft enough... just strong enough to lift his head. Resting his chin on his knees, Scott is silent for a moment, holding back the tears that he didn't understand. He knew he was safe here... why couldn't he convince his mind?
"I'm sorry," he apologizes quietly. "That just... happens sometimes."
Swallowing hard he slowly uncurls, not wanting to follow Hope's asking, but knowing there was no other options. It took him a moment to get to his feet, teetering just a bit before leaning back against the wall. His eyes stay glued to the floor, and his hands go back in his pockets. "I should go."
Starting to walk away, he reaches the exit, looking out into the street. The sunshine. Fresh air. Freedom.
But Scott stops. The outside world terrified him. It seemed better than this... it seemed better than being forced to think about things he didn't want to, or talk about things he didn't want to discuss. It seemed like freedom. But... was it really? Was it really freedom, when he was enslaved by his fear? His pain? The memories that haunted him?
Scott's hand slides off the door handle. Slowly turning, he looks past the receptionist and past the secretary who was just picking up the rest of her fallen papers. His weary eye meets with Hope's, for a moment, the pleading having returned. But it wasn't a plea to let him go. It was a plea for help... and he knew it. No matter how badly he wanted to go home... no matter how badly he wanted to be left alone... he wanted help more. He couldn't live like this. And he couldn't recover on his own.
Still looking at Hope, his shoulders drop, signaling ultimate defeat. "I don't want to live," he admits quietly. "They were right."
Hot tears finally make their way to his eyes. "Rick knew if he let me go that I'd hurt myself... and I would have."
His hand makes its way to the door handle again as he fights to make the right decision. "Please don't let me go," he almost whispers. "'Cause I won't come back." His fingers wrap around the handle, his grip tightening. It took all the strength he had, not to walk out. Little did he know, the intensity of the spiritual battle around him.
"I don't know if this would be good for me or not." His words prove that he had heard Hope's earlier question and that he had retained it, even though he'd seemed to ignore or forget. "But... I can't..." He hesitates. "I can't live like this anymore."
As if the stress caused an open door, several horrific images flash through his mind, making him cringe and sending his eyes back to the floor once again as he relives the torture for a brief moment. "Help me?" he almost whimpers.
Started
Hope just watches Scott not sure what he was thinking. She could only make guess by what she saw. Scott look scaired, and at an inner way with himself. Seeing the look in Scott's eye Hope new he wanted the help, he wanted to be normal again but was scaired. Every so scaired.
Watching Scott as he heads for the door and stops Hope just watches for a moment, the fear that ran through this man infont of her was great, but hill will was even stronger She could see this. Now to just try and draw it out of him. As Scott stops Hope lets out a small sigh.
"Go on, you can do it."
Hope promps Scott gently. He was making a desition on his own on this one. Every small desition was a small step forward and weather he was to come back or not to see her again a chain had been started, the feeling had been tasted and Scott would know how it felt again.
As the minutes movie on and the colitions happens with Scott Hope just sits for a moment, watching evaluating. Finally though not being able to see Scott on the ground anymore Hope stands and walks over to him. Squatting down next to him she dosnt touch him but her tone is soft but still strong and respectfu.
"Scott, its time for you to stand up now. Your in a safe place and no one will hurt you here. Stand up for me?"
12/29/08
The road
Scott listens quietly to Hope, half paying attention, and half letting his mind wander. He knew his friends cared about him... and deep down, he knew he wasn't really crazy. He just couldn't get his mind to cope. She was right.
He can't help but be surprised at Hope letting him go, and he turns, his eyebrows raised. His hand slips off the window and he just looks at her, trying to understand. Rick had tried so hard to get him to come... had done everything but threaten him. And now... Hope was just going to let him go?
Scott lets his eye study her face and her own eyes, trying to understand her methods...trying to understand where she was coming from and why she was willing to let him go.
"God, please watch over Scott." Rick's words were whispered as he sat at his desk, his hands folded, his head resting on them. "I don't know what's happening in his heart and mind, but You do. Please...please bring him comfort. Somehow, some way... don't let him go. If the clinic is where he can get the help he needs, please.... somehow help him to see it and stay." His prayer was a plea for his coworker... a plea for his friend... a plea for a member of this close-knit family. "Show him how to live again... show him the road he has to take."
Scott swallows hard and opens his mouth to respond, but what could he say? He really didn't want to be here. He wanted to go back out to the car and have Katie take him home. Even TJY would be better than this, though he was so tired of being in the infirmary. This was one of the first times someone was letting him make up his own mind.
Finally making up his mind, he turns to make his way slowly back to the door. His hand was shaking a little as he gripped the knob, though he didn't know why. It was as if an invisible force was trying to make him stay, while his emotions were driving him away.
Looking over his shoulder once more, he sees Hope again, feeling as though he'd just wasted her time. Then in a quick movement, he opens the door as if scared if he didn't, he never would.
His blind eye to the left, he doesn't even see one of the secretaries walking by. Taken completely off guard, the crash is over in a second, but the damage is done.
The secretary gives a little shriek, totally surprised by the door suddenly opening, and she doesn't have enough time to stop. Papers, pens, paperclips and folders cascade to the floor in one big mess. She stumbles backward a couple steps to regain her balance, her eyes wide.
Scott, however, didn't have enough balance in the first place, and is taken right off his feet. The collision sends him ricocheting off the wall and stumbling to the floor. His weak wrist buckles and one of his knees scrapes the floor hard, burning his skin. Without the gumption to catch himself well, he falls hard, increasing the shock.
His face red, he tries to right himself, but the incident has taken its toll. Nothing had changed. He couldn't see well enough, he was a klutz at the least, and all he was capable of was embarrassing himself. What was the point? He wasn't good for anything but causing trouble and getting in people's way.
The mockery rings in his ears. Words of the past, but still so fresh. Words that convinced him he was no good. Words that convinced him he was worthless. They had been right... it had all been true.
Though on his feet again, the words of the secretary's apology fade into a foggy oblivion. Scott doesn't even realize that he's slid to the floor again, this time his knees tucked up against his chest, his arms around his legs in a protective position that had served to block out the world for over two months.
Rocking slightly, he closes his eyes tight to keep out the tears. Part of his mind knew that this wasn't necessary...that all he was doing was making a scene. But the other part of his mind had lost it's grip on reality, holding him here like a whipped and terrified puppy. There was nothing here to fear, yet the terror still surged through his veins.
Home
Quietly Hope watches Scott as he looks around the room at all the pictures as if he was in his own world. Studying his eyes, Hope trys to look behond the blank look seeing the pain that layed deep inside. This young man had been hurt and his life was taken away. Now what was left was pain and misary.
Continuing to watch Scott Hope takes note to the small smile on his face as he looks at the picture that was on her desk of Mick and Rosetta. A bit of curosity rises in her at his action though she does not say anything about it. That smile, that one single smile told here there was hope yet for him. Taking a pen Hope jots a quick note down as a reminder for another time also making a few other notes as well.
"Your not out of your mind you know. Your scars are thick and your pain is deep. Your mind is trying to cover up the pain you feel but its not sure how. Some of us have strong enough minds and can mask our pain, while other peoples minds arnt that strong and find other ways to hide the pain or let it out. These are the times we should worry because its not healthy. But this happens not because your out of you mind but because simply you mind does not know how to cope. Your friends also care a great deal for you Scott. They dont want to lose you again that is why they wanted you here."
Falling silent again Hope continues to once again watch Scott. The fear in his eyes as he looked at her shattered Hope's heart. As Scott looks to her and his eyes plead Hope is silent untill he is done talking. Letting out a sigh and clearing her throut Hope jots another note before looking up at Scott again.
"You can go home Scott. I can't make you stay and talk with me. I want you to be here because you want to be not because someone is making you...."
Hope is quiet for a moment. Forcing someone to stay and talk with her wouldnt help if anything it could hinder. Hope couldnt help Scott untill he wanted to help himself.
"...Your free to go Scott and maybe I'll see you next week same time."
Hope smiles at Scott. She didnt want to let him go, she didnt want him to leave but she couldnt keep him eather. There wasnt enough for her to want him to stay. She feared if he walked out that door she might never see him again, but if that was so it was his choise and she couldnt change that.
I just...
Carson smirks at Misty toying with him as though she were going to leave, and he straightens up, ready to say something back, but she turns to him first.
Receiving her warm embrace, Carson braces one hand on the counter, while he slides his other arm around her, a smile on his face. It felt good to have Misty back in his life... she had been one of the missing puzzle pieces. Looking her in the eye as she draws back, he studies her gaze, wondering what might be going through her mind.
As she takes him closer for a kiss, his hand slips on the counter, bringing him in for a bit harsher of an exchange than intended. "Mhh," came his grunt of complaint, though he regained posture and let the kiss linger for a moment or two.
Drawing back, he takes his arm from around her to lay his palm against her face. "We better go before they throw us out," he teases. "Let me grab my jacket."
Scott doesn't like having to wait, and is tempted to turn around and walk out, but something keeps him there. Instead, he sits on the edge of a chair, enveloping himself in his own little world until he has to stand again.
Meeting Hope, his eyes study her for just a moment. She wasn't what he'd expected. He wasn't sure what he had expected, but she seemed so... young? No, that wasn't quite it. He didn't know what it was that surprised him, but it passed quickly.
Hesitantly returning her handshake, he doesn't want to be put at ease. He doesn't want to be here, and doesn't really have the desire to continue here. But her hand was so warm and inviting, even he found it hard to resist following her.
Stepping in through the door, Scott bristles, not liking being that far from an exit. He didn't know this building, and that made it all the more worse. Noting that Hope opened the windows, he eyes her curiously. Could she read him that well that quickly, or had she simply been informed about him through Rick?
Still silent, Scott glances around the room, taking note of the paintings on the wall. Something about them seemed familiar. For a moment, he's lost in thought, trying to figure it out.
Hope's voice snaps him back to attention, almost making him jump, even though her tone was a soothing one. It takes a second for it to register what she'd just said, and he contemplates his options. With his hands still stuffed in his hoodie pockets, he picks the choice that could get him out of here faster than the others. "I'll stand," he replies quietly.
Wandering a little closer to her desk, he sees a framed photo that catches him by surprise, and he squints to make sure he was seeing what he thought. Feeling a little bolder than normal, he reaches out to run a finger over the glass that protected the memory of Mick and Rosetta's wedding. An ever-so-slight smile moves the edge of his mouth. Though confused about how Hope was connected to the Henson's, he lets his curiosity go for now. It was a small world - who knew how she knew them.
Putting his hand back into his pocket, he gives a little nod. "Nice picture," he comments a little wryly. He wondered where the rest of his photography had ended up at. Probably much of it had been thrown away after his assumed-death.
Backing away a couple steps, he lets his eyes continue roaming the room even though Hope is speaking to him. It takes him several long moments before finally he sighs and lets his gaze find hers. How must he look to her? What must she think of his physical appearance? And what exactly had Rick told her?
"I'm here because I'm out of my mind half the time." Scott gives a defeated shrug. "Because my friends are worried I'm gonna kill myself, and because I can't...can't seem to handle anything anymore."
He finally drops his gaze and wanders over to one of the windows. "Living is more frightening than death," he muses, almost to himself. The sun was shining warm, but he felt cold.
Turning around, his expression pleads with Hope as the emotions pool behind his eyes. "I don't want to be here. I didn't want to come. I..." He swallows hard, trying to figure out if he felt like crying or not, and if he did, how to stop it. "I just wanted to go home. I just wanted to be normal again."
He turns back around, taking a hand to rest his palm against the cool glass. His hand was so thin. "I just want it all to end."
First Meeting
An even bigger smile forms on Misty's face as she hears Carson with a slight hint of the old sassy spark as she seems him. Shaking her head she lets out a small chuckle
"Well I kind of took the rest of the day off myself. I just had to get out of there. Dont know if I am going to get in trouble for it or not but I dont much care. I just couldnt stand it any longer."
A misgivish look enters Misty's eyes as the sparkle remains.
"But...if you dont want to spend time with me I can always go..."
Misty stands for a moment like she just might leave but a small glimmer in her eye tells differnt. Turning back around she reachs over the counter and wraps her arms around Carson. Holding him for a moment Misty finally moves away just a little look deep into Carson's eyes for a moment untill she drew slowly closer to him. Feeling his breath on her skin Misty's heart starts to race she her lips gently touch Carson, the feeling washing over her the kiss ever passionit.
Looking up from the desk the receptionist gives a friendly smile to Scott.
"Why Hello there. Give me one second to look up your name fast."
Getting Scott's name the receptionist turns to the computer and does a bit of typing before she turns back to Scott again.
"Ok your apointment is in about 5 min. If you want to take a seat I will let Hope know your here."
The soft smile the rested on the lips of the receptionist never moves, or faulters. The smile was one that was true.
"Hope Mr. Johnson is here to see you."
On the other end of the intercome a soft voice almost like a soft song playing replys back.
"Thank you Miss. Granger I shall be out momentarly."
Going back to her paperwork and what she was going Miss. Granger lets Scott sit if he wants not drawing attachen to him as if she was watching him. Though she was keeping track of what he was doing.
The time slowly pass and second feel like hours but like everything the time comes no matter how we want it to stop for us to sometimes face our greatest fears.
The door to the office on the left of the receptionist desk finally opens as a medium size woman with long curly brown hair emerges. Fashened in a black silk shair and a pare of black jeans a business air was about her yet the smile on her lips and the light that shown in her eyes was soft and comfortaing. Coming over to Scott she holds out her hand as she smiled.
"Hello Scott. I'm Hope Garrison. Its nice to meet you."
Still offering a smile Hope takes a few steps back and motions to her office.
"Lets step into my office where we might have a little more privecy to talk."
Leading the way into the office Hope closes the door behind them yet opens a few windows though it was cold outside. She tryed to make it feel more comfortable for Scott so he didnt quiet feel trapped. With the windows open it let in air and sounds making the room seem bigger than it was.
Sitting down at her desk she offers one of the chairs to Scott as she shuffles some papers on her desk before she finds Scott's folder.
"You can sit or stand, you can even walk around the room if you like. What ever makes you feel comfortable Scott."
Staying silent for a moment Hope just watches Scott trying to take in from first glance everything she could not wanting to bomb bard him with to many questions at once. Finally as the silence linger Hope speaks up again.
"So Scott...Rick has told me a little bit about you and why your here but I would like to hear it from you if I could. Could you tell me why you think your here and if you think this will be good for you or not?"
12/28/08
First step
Carson hears the bell on the door of Mom and Pop's, but can't look up as he's cleaning off the counters in the back. When Aerith calls him though, he grins.
"Medium-sized brunette?" he hollers back. "I don't know anybody like that."
He pauses, his teasing tone lingering in the silence. "But if you're talking about that ornery little sheila from across town - now HER I know."
Finally finished with his work, and finished with his short day, he tosses his apron on a hook and comes out and around the counter. He smiles his greeting to Misty, and leans his elbows on the counter beside her. "Well...it is her after all. Aerith, you gotta work on your descriptions."
He nudges Misty with his elbow. "Off work early, or got just enough spare time to waste on me?"
Scott hesitates, as though not wanting to leave. He was uncomfortable here, but the thought of the clinic was even more uncomfortable. Finally, he accepts Katie's hand up though, and helps her gather the rest of the items that had been brought.
He's quiet on the way back to the car, showing his gratefulness for Katie's willingness to help, bu simply following her back without argument.
After Rick speaks to Katie to give her directions, they're well on their way across town. Scott is silent most of the way, though after parking, he gives a little nod. "I'd go with you to get a dog." His words prove that though he'd been quiet, he hadn't missed what Katie had said earlier. Maybe he hadn't responded right away, but he'd mulled it over and hadn't forgotten about it.
He sits for several moments, staring at the building. His hand grips the door handle tightly, his nerves heightening. Domino slips up between the seats to crawl onto his lap, curling up as if thinking he would be sitting there for a wile.
For a second, Scott's attention is diverted as he strokes her head. "I'll be back," he promises softly. He didn't know what awaited him. He'd never been to a counselor before. He didn't know how long it would take, what kinds of things they'd talk about, or what kinds of questions he might have to answer. He didn't know how these things worked, or what to prepare for. He didn't know how seeing a counselor could help him through his mental torment. But Rick was pushing him, and somewhere, deep down, he knew it was best, even if he didn't understand it. He was scared of his own mind right now, and if somehow this helped then...he should at least give it a chance, even if he didn't feel like it.
Finally getting up enough courage, Scott steps out of the car to go inside. Having the door shut in her face, Domino gives a little bark, then whines as she watches her master walk away. Whimpering for several seconds, she finally sighs, then crawls onto Katie's lap, reaching up to lick her chin, then focuses out the window to wait.
As Scott approaches the building, he sees his reflection in the glass door. Setting his fingers on the handle, he stops for just a moment, looking at himself. Though he couldn't see all that well, it didn't matter. He could still see his chopped-short hair, his gruesome eye, and his sickly-thin frame. Even with his loose hoodie, one could tell he was just skin and bones, shown through the jeans that hung on him, and his gaunt face.
Who was he anymore?
Sighing, Scott knew he had to go in. Once inside, his senses take in the atmosphere. It was warm in here...welcoming, even if he didn't want to be here. His eye roams the room, taking note that the entrance was the only visible exit as well.
Stuffing his hands in his pockets, he keeps his head down to approach the front desk. Barely lifting his eyes, he speaks to the receptionist. "I, um...have an appointment."
He didn't even remember the name of the counselor, nor did he know all what Rick had already set up. "I'm Scott Johnson."
12/26/08
Medium size brunette
Enjoying the time with Scott though the words were few Katie found pleasure and joy in just seeing him out and about. She was also happy to see that Scott atleast eat half of his food. That was a move up from the last time she had seen him.
Keep the chatting light Katie tryed her best to be the distraction for Scott. Though it was getting hard to think of things to talk about she was trying anyways. She wanted to treat Scott normal because he was. So he had problems...didnt they all?
Giving a soft smile Katie takes a sip of her drink before sticking the empty juice box back in the basket.
"You know I was thinking about maybe getting a dog. If it was a small one I know Laura wouldnt mind and it might even give Henry someone to play with. After having Domino for a little while I relize how much I did want a dog."
Continuing to pick up a few things as she talked Katie paused for a moment as if in though before speaking once again.
"..Maybe you can come with me when I got to pick on out?! I dont know much about adopting one and the help would be nice so I am not completely lost."
Placing the last few things into the basket Katie keeps talking about the dog and how she might need help untill finally Scott asks her about taking him. Looking down at her watch she gives a smile. She hadnt planed anything for the day because she wanted to keep her friend company so she was free.
" Sure I can..I'll give Rick a call and find out the directions and than we can drive over. I'll even wait there for you along with Domino that way if you need us we will be in the car."
Standing Katie offers her hand to Scott to help him up as well before bringing the stuff to the car and than calling Rick.
The tiny bell on Mom and Pop's quietly rings once again as Misty steps into the restront. Today it felt a little differnt than most days. Today she was coming into to see Carson. Something she hadnt done in a while.
Going up to the counter she sits down and give a wave to Aerith.
Seeing Misty Aerith gives a smile as she finishs getting drinks for a table. Once everyone is situated she makes her way back to Misty happy to see her there once again.
"Hey Misty hows it going?"
Smiling back at her friend Misty felt like she just starting to get know Carson once again the feeling was strange and she wasnt sure why she felt that way when she had known him for so long.
"Hi Aerith, everything is good. Is Carson around?"
Giving a nod Aerith goes to the window in the back giving a call.
"Hey Carson you have company to see you. A medium size brunette with long hair. Should I tell her your busy?"
A mischevus grin plays on Aerith's lips.
12/25/08
Quiet request
Carson turns around and lifts his eyebrows as he hears the change clink on the counter. "But..." His voice trails off as Jess leaves the restaurant. Sighing, he picks up the change and takes it to Mabel. "For the shake. But next time she's in, it's on the house. This shake was already paid for."
Reese leans back in his chair, his shoulders dropping as Charlotte explains about their brother's birthday. He knew how close Angelica had been to him, and now he realized why she'd felt so badly about someone not going with her.
He sighs deeply and thinks for a moment. "Thanks, Charlotte. I'll try to get a hold of her or something." He glances to his piles of work. He'd simply have to make time. "Maybe tomorrow she'll answer her phone."
Ending the call, Reese swivels in his chair to stare at his computer. He had several projects he wanted to do...several cases that he wanted to work on. But no longer a part of TJY, he couldn't.
Scott leans his head against the passenger window, not closing his eyes, but not really focusing on the passing scenery either. Half of him appreciated Katie's sensitivity and half of him wished people would just treat him like normal. But...what was normal anymore?
"That's fine," he answers quietly. He would put up with whatever happened... he didn't like being out in the open, but somewhere he knew it was good for him. He knew he wasn't improving like Rick wanted him to. He knew that he wasn't mentally stable. He knew that he was resisting help from others. But it was hard when all he felt like doing was finding a nice quiet corner to curl up in and forget the world existed.
Once Domino was picked up, it gave him something else to concentrate on, helping distract him from the day itself. Her perky behavior also gave him something to look out for as they arrived at the park, giving him an ample distraction instead of focusing on the people that were around.
Finding a quiet spot in the shade wasn't too hard. People were walking, but not many were settled down.
Spread out on a blanket, Scott is quiet for the most part. One hand remained on Domino while he ate, even though he only got down half a sandwich. Sitting cross-legged, he keeps his head down, and sometimes rocks a little, lost in his own world. But he tries, intentionally not looking at his surroundings, and trying to focus on Katie and the small talk offered. But the longer they sat, the worse his nervousness grew.
Rubbing his eye, he finally looks at the watch Rick had given him. It was nearing three o'clock and he hated it. But he knew good and well that he wouldn't be able to get away with not going to see that counselor.
"Kate..." He swallows hard and runs his fingers along Domino's back. "You, um... you got time to take me to that clinic? I don't know where it is or anything but... I don't want Rick to take me and he'd kill me if I walked myself."
Your Choise
Giving a small smile Jess finishs off her milkshake and stands as Carson says its time for him to go back to work. Just studying his face for a moment Jess gives a sigh. Things with her and Carson had changed but in a sence they didnt feel much like they did. She was happy to have him as a friend.
"Thanks Carson for listing to me."
Taking some money out of her pocket she throws it onto the counter next to her empty glass.
"I'll see you again soon."
Turning Jess leaves the small dinner heading home to get ready for work for the night.
Jumping as the phone rings from being in her old world Charlotte turns from the counter where she had started lunch and grabs the phone off the table.
"Hello..."
Returning to the counter Charlotte continues to make the samwhiches as she listens to Reese on the other end. She though it was nice that he wanted to call her sister. Charlotte new that though it went unspoken some sparks between Her sister and this man were there.
"..Yeah I think I wrote down what she was doing when in case of emergancys just give me one second."
Finishing off the lunch for when Bret got home Charlotte whipes her hands off before heading to the den and taking out a peace of paper she reads over it fast.
"Ok let see...At 7am tomarrow she has a meeting till 9. Than that night at 6pm she has the dinner party she was going to..."
Drawing silent for a moment Charlotte things before speaking again.
"..And the day after tomarrow its Angeal's birthday so I would guess she would be going tomarrow. As of what time I am not sure. I hope you can catch a good time to talk with her. I think she'd like that not to mention she might need it."
Giving a smile to Scott Katie was happy she agreed to going to lunch with her. She new he didnt go out much and he was scaired to death of it. But if the found a quiet place it might be ok and the air would do Scott good.
Waiting for Scott to put his shoes on Katie turns to Rick and gives a small nod showing she apresheated his help on getting Scott to go. Once he is finished Katie leads the way to the car going slow and making sure to stay close to Scott to offer comfort and the feeling of protection.
Pulling out of the parking lot Katie smiles as she gestures to the back seat where a smaller basket sat.
"I packed some samwhiches, fruit, and I have some hot coco because I know its a little chilly out. We will go get Domino and some food for her, and than find a nice quiet place in the park. If thats ok with you?"
Katie leaves the offer of where they go hanging. She wanted Scott to be comfortable and feel like it was his choise. Katie didnt want to pressure him into doing anything he didnt want to.
12/23/08
Normal
Carson leans forward to rest his elbows on the counter, cocking his head at Jess. He wondered now if she'd reacted someway to Axel she regretted, or if he'd unintentionally scared her.
"It'll follow you around," he confirms. "But... give yourself time, Jess. It takes a while, ya know?"
Just listening, he's a bit confused about what she's saying, but opts not to ask too many questions. Receiving her comment about Dani and the milkshakes he can't help but chuckle. "I think I'm lucky too. With a bunch like you around me, how can I go wrong?"
Hearing a timer go off in the kitchen, he straightens. "I gotta get back to work." He throws Jess a wink and a small smile. "Don't try to be normal. You're fine just the way you are."
Reese flops down in his chair, groaning as a pile of papers teetered and slid across the desk. Picking them all up, he spots his cell phone, realizing he'd forgotten to take it with him. And just his luck, he'd missed a call.
Listening too it, he furrows his brow in concern. Quiet for several minutes, he thinks, staring into nothingness. A strange sort of emotions were bundled together and trying to emerge, and he just wasn't quite sure what they were.
Rolling his eyes at himself, he hits the keypad on his phone and dials Charlotte back.
"Charlotte, it's Reese. Got your message..." He pauses. "I don't have a number for your sister other than the one I've always had. She didn't pick up this morning though... I figured she was on the road, or in a meeting or something."
He moves back in his chair, cringing as he hears it roll over some papers that had fallen to the floor.
"Listen, do you know what days she was doing what? I might try to get a hold of her again, like... when that party or whatever was, or when she was going to go to the grave? I don't want to keep trying her phone at bad times."
Scott looks up, a little surprised to see Katie, but a faint smile surfaces. "Hero..." He gives a little shrug. "I'm doing alright. If you ask Rick though, I'm on death's bed." Though he'd attempted humor, when it comes out it isn't all that funny.
Looking down, he fidgets with a corner of the blanket. Small talk didn't come very easily anymore.
Receiving her invitation for a picnic lunch though, he glances back up at her. A fear flashes through his eyes. A picnic? Outdoors? Where there were people around?
"I think that's a fine idea," Rick interrupts them. He eyes Scott knowingly. "You'd like some fresh air, wouldn't you? And I bet Katie could swing by home and Domino could even join you." His suggestion is aimed more towards Katie than Scott, providing a tactic for getting him to accept.
Scott hesitates, then shakes his head. "I...I don't think so. I gotta go out later anyway, and..."
"Well it's already after noon," Rick persists. "By the time you're all done, maybe Katie can just take you over to see..."
"No." Scott's face reddens, his eyes drifting downward. He didn't need everyone to know where he was going that afternoon.
"Scott..." Rick softens his tone. "It's okay." He sighs and looks to Katie, then back at Scott. "It's her or me."
Scott pulls his legs up close to his chest, contemplating. He wanted so badly to get out in the fresh air and get away from the infirmary. He really would like to just spend time with another friend. He did want to see Domino, and he knew that no matter what, Rick would see to it that he went to the clinic today.
After a long pause, he finally shrugs and looks back up to Katie. "Okay," he agrees softly. "Just let me get my shoes on."
"No, hold it, I - " Axel's words were cut off as the jack shifted and the car dropped down several inches. He winced, feeling pressed underneath. "Miles! Crank it up!"
Working with as much haste as possible, Miles and Leo get the jack unjammed and within seconds, Axel is sliding out from underneath.
"Oh man, you alright?"
Axel just looks up at Leo a moment, catching his breath. "Yeah...yeah, I'm fine." Getting up a bit shakily, he moves about the car, moving past the incident. His whole morning had been like this. One thing after another, and it wasn't helping his mood any either.
Just as he takes a tool from the workbench, pain shoots through his hand and he drops the tool, muttering under his breath as his fingers no numb. Now was not the day for this. It hadn't been his day since the beginning. He felt almost as though he'd simply gotten up on the wrong side of bed this morning. Why couldn't he go back and start over?
Rubbing his hand, the annoying sensation passes and he takes a deep breath, letting it out slowly. If he couldn't do anything else right, maybe he could at least fix one thing he'd broken today.
He heads to the office and closes the door after himself, going for the phone. He knew the number. He'd jotted it down once for some reason and it had been burned into his memory. He knew he'd get a voicemail box because of what time it was, but it didn't bother him. Maybe it was better that way anyway.
Leaning back against the wall, he hears the ringing, then the prompt to leave a message. "Hey, Stormy, it's Axel. Listen, I'm sorry." He sighs and shakes his head. "I didn't mean to be abrupt with you earlier. I didn't sleep well last night, I was in a bad mood and... I guess those aren't very good excuses, but they're all I got. I suppose I felt a little stupid too, not having realized what you were doing sooner, so I wound up getting mad at you instead of myself."
He knew that was the real reason for his surge of irritation. He was always so on top of everything, that taken by surprise like that wasn't a great feeling to him. But he knew Jess hadn't done it on purpose, and he hadn't meant to hurt her feelings.
He pauses, not really knowing what else to say. "I... well... yeah. Guess that's it. Don't want to keep you. Um...tomorrow Darrel will be gone. Don't know if you've got plans, but if not, you're more than welcome to come hang out at the shop again."
He hoped the invitation would be seen as the truce it was meant to be. "So... yeah. See ya later. Bye."
Strike one
Looking at the milkshake and than up at Carson Jess cant help the small grunt the resembled a chuckle. Taking a sip Jess is quiet for a moment thinking about the fact the Axel had called. She wasnt quite sure how she felt about it. Finally looking up at Carson Jess her eyes almost blank as she was deep in thought remembering the past and how it still lived in the present.
"Carson, will I ever be normal again? Or will these scars always follow me around and cause me to not remember that there are some good people out there?"
Looking back down at her glass Jess runs a finger around the rim before taking the spoon and scooping some of the whip cream off.
"I had a friend..and I thought I needed an excuse to see him."
Jess lets out a small scoff discusted with herself for even thinking such a thing.
"When he caught on, he was a little less than happy and I felt real stupid. Strike one up for the stormcloud again."
Knowing Carson wouldnt understand the refrance Jess dosnt bother to explain. Leaning down she just sips her milkshake as her mind maybe thinks to much.
"I'm lucky you have a sister, or alse you wouldnt know how to quite make these as good as you do."
Jess can't help but the small smile that finally makes its way to her lips. Weather it was the milkshakes or Carson's presence that made her feel better Jess wasnt sure but it was helping.
Receving only the voice mail once again Charlotte grows a tad conserned for her sister. She new she would be leaving but she didnt know if anyone would be going with her or not. Charlotte had wanted to go but in the closing months of her job there was no way she could.
Pacing the kitchen floor She brings a hand to her head as she thinks. It wasnt like Angelica to not call and at least let her know she was safe. Having an idea she dials Jamie's number fast.
"Hey Jamie, I know your at work and all but I was wondering if you had Reese's cell phone."
Grabbing a pen and a peace of paper Charlotte quickly jots down a number quickly.
"Ok yeah I got it. Thank Jamie. Ok I'll let him know. Thank again...Later."
Handing up the phone again Charlotte dosnt keep it off for long before staring to dial the number she was just given. Waiting for an answer on the other end Reese's voice mail finally picks up. Well it was better than nothing she guessed.
"Hey Reese this is Charlotte Parker, Angelica's sister. I was wondering if you had a phone number I could reach Angelica on she isnt answering her cell phone and I was a bit worryed. She had gone back to Cali for a few days for some work but also it was our brother birthday and she was going to go viset his grave."
Pacing again Charlotte continues to talk trying not to talk to fast. When she really got worryed its something she did offten.
"I know she was pretty upset that I couldnt come with her and she would have to go alone. I guess I just wanted to see if eather you went with her because I know you guys are close friends, or if she found someone alse. If I dont hear back from you I'll just call our mothers house I just wanted to leave that for last. Didnt think it was woth making her worryed for nothing. Anyways I better get going I think I am rambaling now. Thanks Reese."
Hanging up the phone again Charlotte lets out a sigh as she sits down at the chair on the table. Glancing up at the clock she takes note to what time it was. Bret would be home for lunch soon as least for now that would take away some of her worry.
Slipping through the infermary door without being spoted Katie looks around the room. She had become pretty good about moving around with no one seeing her. She didnt know why she felt like she had to sneek but she did anyways.
Seeing Rick sitting over at his desk Katie gives a small wave before walking over to Scott. As she draws closer Katie can see he is awake and is happy.
"Heya Scotty, how ya doing?"
Giving a genuin smile Katie gives a wave to Scott. She hadnt been in, in a few days and she was happy to be back so she could see Scott for herself.
"I was wondering if maybe you would like to go to lunch with me? That is if its ok with Rick. I figured maybe some fresh air would be good. I have a picnic lunch and I was just gonna head to a quiet spot in the part."
Katie smile lingers on her lips. She wanted to help Scott so bad and she new all she could really do was be a friend. But sometimes the small things really helped people. Scott being cooped up was no good and if she could get him some fresh air she would be happy she did something.
12/22/08
Would have chosen...
Axel can feel a bit of disappointment hit him as Jess opts not to eat lunch with him today. But it was his own fault. He’d scared her off – that much was apparent.
Without much else to say, he just watches her leave, his brain not functioning enough to even respond. But seeing a paper fall onto the counter, he furrows his brow and picks it up, scanning the words. He raises an eyebrow. "So what happens when a rainbow manages to disappoint and embarrass the storm cloud?" he wonders aloud.
Folding the paper gently, he tucks it in his pocket. He didn't have time for lunch today anyway. There was too much to do and too little time.
Passing through the office though, he pauses by the desk and glances down at the phone. He had a hunch...but was it really appropriate? At this point, he was too tired to decide if it was or not. He'd already made a blunder today, what was two?
Tuned to hear the bell on the front door, Carson's head automatically pops up as someone enters the restaurant. Seeing Jess, a smile spreads on his face.
"Herb, be right back."
Drying his hands on his apron, he goes to the freezer where he'd been just minutes before. After a moment, he withdraws, making his way to the front counter. "Hey you." He cocks his head at Jess. "Any other day I wouldn't have expected to see you here yet, but... someone tipped me off."
He slides a milkshake onto the counter, the glass frosted and steaming from hitting the warm air. "They said to tell you they would have chosen rainbow sherbet, but they knew we didn't serve it here."
Carson studies Jess, not having a clue what was behind this, but sensing the possibilities of hurt feelings somewhere.
Footsteps
Coming up to the desk and seeing no one around Jess is just quiet. Trying to work through everything in her head for a moment. As the sound of Keys and than Axel's voice follows Jess turns around just stairing at him for a moment as she takes her keys. Her eyes following him as he goes behind the desk Jess cant help but feel her embarrassment rise even more. Taking her checkbook from her pocket Jess starts to fill it out continplating Axel's statment about lunch. He was trying to be nice to her, she could tell he was but still something was off, and she just didnt feel like it anymore but on the other hand yes she still did.
"I'm not to hungry right now. Maybe tomarrow though I'll see what your up to."
Turning Jess leave the gradge a small peace of paper falling from her check book that was hand written onto the counter.
And each day the storm cloud has something to look forward to, knowing the rainbow is only footsteps away.
Getting into her car Jess lets out a sigh before starting it up and pulling out of the parking lot. Heading across town she makes her way to mom and pops before work. She wasnt hungry, but a strawberry milkshake was in order.
You forgot
Taking in Jess' reaction, then seeing her walk away, the door shuts on anything else Axel might have said. He groans and sets his hands on his hips, muttering under his breath. "Dang it."
Shaking is head he looks down at the desk again, pursing his lips. Taking a deep breath, he swipes the object up and heads to the front.
The front desk is quiet. Where Darrel was just minutes before, it was now empty and he was nowhere in sight. Though Jess is looking to pay the bill, the area is empty.
...Until a jingle of keys comes from behind her.
Axel cocks his head, holding out her keys that dangled off one finger. "You forgot something." His tone has softened some, but a strangeness lingers behind his eyes. One that held his confidence, but would confuse one who tried to understand.
Moving to Jess slowly, he deposits the keys in her hand. "But it wasn't just these you neglected..."
He goes around to the other side of the counter, prepared to take payment for the bill. His eyes roam the desk in front of him as he finishes his statement. "You forgot to ask me what I was doing for lunch."
Off guard
Taken off guard for a moment with Leo's comment about Axel and Jess she just looks at him for a second. Not sure what she should say or think. Finally finding he words Jess is about to contest and conferm that Axel was not her boyfriend but its to late Leo was already yelling to Axel. Just letting it be for now Jess drops what she was going to say. If it was braught up again it would be corrected.
Handing over her keys to Leo Jess makes her way to the office entering and sitting down.
As the short time pass Jess thumbs thought a few magazeans before finally looking up again and seeing Axel walks twards the office. A smile coming to her face. Watching him Jess just listens letting his words hit her ears. At fist the words are warm and she can't help but laugh just a little as she knows she has been found out. But soon Axel's words seem to turn cold and almost feel like ice. Letting her eyes drift up for a moment Jess looks into Axel's. Something was differnt, was it his mood, was he upset with her, irratated? But it was almost like a completely differnt person now stood infront of her.
As Axel rips off the paper and holds it out to Jess she flinches as if almost exspecting something more to come. Looking up again and seeing the paper slowly with a trembaling hand Jess takes it. Standing she grabs her jacket.
"I'm....I....Thanks for working on my car."
Trying to hold her head tall Jess leaves the office making her way to the front desk. A new form of emotions held tight to her, she felt embarassed. How silly she was to think using her car was a good way to see Axel. He was right she should of just asked.
Faster, cheaper
The noise in the shop keeps most men distracted, but as Leo goes to the toolbench, he spots Jess. Hearing why she's there, his eyes widen.
"Sparkplug issues??? Sparkplug issues?!" He lets out a groan. "You do realize your boyfriend is never going to let me live this one down, don't you?" He sighs and shakes his head in defeat before turning around and waving to the far end and shouting. "Axel!"
Axel comes up from the sportscar's engine and squints, seeing Jess and Leo. An eyebrow quirks in surprise and he throws up his hands to ask what on earth was going on.
Leo points outside and calls again. "Problems!"
"Again?!"
"Got time??"
Axel gestures to the empty bay next to him.
Leo turns to Jess and holds out his hands for the keys. "I'll give that bomber back to him this time. Maybe it'll put him in a better mood." He rolls his eyes. "In the meantime, you can sit in the office if you like." He leans in a little closer, lowering his voice. "Boss is here today." He doesn't have to elaborate - it was plain enough that the boss wouldn't appreciate customers hanging around inside the garage.
Within minutes, Leo has Jess' car inside. He and Axel converse for a moment or two, then Axel moves from the car he'd been working on, to Jess', propping open the hood. Even at a distance, one might be able to tell he's more rigid today, perhaps proving Leo right about his mood.
It doesn't take long before he's ambling across the garage to the office, a couple small parts in hand.
Opening the door, he steps into the waiting area and looks around, finding Darrel not within sight. He lets out a sigh and cocks his head, studying Jess for a moment. "Well...you're on time." He looks up at a wall clock. "Ten more minutes and I would have already been gone for lunch."
Moving behind the desk, he stays standing, but pulls out some paperwork to fill out, leaning down to write. "You know..."
He pauses and looks back up. His tone has taken on a stern edge, but an odd mixture in his eyes proves that there is something else. Amusement? Pleasure? It was hard to tell.
Axel deposits a couple sparkplugs on the desk. "I put these in myself a couple days ago. Funny they'd be giving you trouble..."
He lets his thought linger, turning his head back to the paper he was writing up. Though now looking down, he continues. "Even funnier you wouldn't have just gone downtown to the parts store and bought a couple to replace them yourself. Faster, cheaper..."
His eye drift up to hers again. "...and a piece of cake for somebody like you."
Tossing his pen aside he straightens up an folds his arms across his chest, just watching Jess for several more moments. "Jess..." He shakes his head slowly, his tone dropping. "Storm clouds don't need thunder and lightning to bring out a rainbow."
Axel leans down to tear off a bill for parts and holds it out to her, his eyes a steady gaze. "Friends don't need excuses to see each other," he reminds quietly. "Try asking...you might be surprised."
Sparkplugs
Pulling up to the gradge once again Jess smiles and lets out a tiny sigh. Sooner or later she was going to run out of car problems and than she would have to come here on her own but for now this worked.
Seeing the few cars parked outside Jess hesatats for a moment. It looks kind of busy and she didnt want to put anyone out, but...she was here she might as well go in. Getting out of her car Jess enders the shop glancing around for a moment. Seeing no one as the desk Jess walks to where she can see into the shop. An even bigger smile forms as she spots Axel working on a spots car. For a moment she just watches him not saying a word but a movment to her left side breaks her stair as she looks to see what it was. Spotting Leo makes Jess smile turn into a Smerk. Standing a tad bit taller Jess yells to him.
"I thought you said Leo if you worked on my car I wouldnt be in here again? Guess what I am back and I am having sparkplug issues."
Looking back in Axel's direction for a moment Jess gives a small wave.