Just once

Scott swallows hard and wants to withdraw from Hope, but something about her softness... something about her sincerity... something about her gentle tone... he didn't turn.

Forced to look up at her, his eyes search hers, wondering about her intentions... wondering about her motives. Why did she want to help? Why did she care?

Feeling her hand on his, he feels a warmth creep up his arm. It didn't matter why she cared... she did, and that was the bottom line. It was different when his friends cared - that was a given. But knowing that someone he didn't even know had hope in him... had insight enough to tell him not to give up... it meant more to him than he thought it would.

Slowly, slowly, he lets go of the door handle and gives a little nod. "Okay." His voice is quiet and small, and he lowers his eyes once more, but he's willing to walk back in Hope's office. For now... for today... he would stay and do his best. He would try.

Letting his hand slip from hers, he keeps his head down again, but willingly follows her back to her office. Once inside, he just stands for a few moments, contemplating what he was really doing here. He didn't really want to talk about his problems right now. He didn't even know what they were. But he couldn't just stand around not saying anything.

Spying the pictures on her desk once again, Scott approaches once more. And once more, he singles out the photo of Mick and Rosetta. A little braver this time, he picks up the frame, cocking his head to look closer. "This was a good day," he muses quietly.

It really had been a good day. And even though some of it had turned to heartache later, he could still enjoy that part of his past.

"They liked me there, ya know?" His eyes linger on the photo and he remembers how Mick had treated him... how Rosetta had treated him. "I was somebody. I wasn't the geek... or... or the nerd. Nobody made fun of me... nobody put me down."

His thin fingers run over the photo one more time before setting it carefully back down on Hope's desk. Looking over at her, that ever-so-faint smile returns. "I... was the photographer that day," he finally explains. "I was um... a friend of... Rosetta's niece." His eyes roam to the window where he knew Katie was nearby. "We were... engaged once. She still cares about me though." He gives a little nod. "She's the one that brought me today."

Growing quiet again, it's several moments before he even moves. Feeling weary, and too tired to fight the awkwardness, he finally eases down in a chair, though he remains forward, on edge, ready to stand if need be. His eyes roam the room for a moment, once more taking note of the paintings. Now he knew why they looked familiar.

Resting his elbows on his knees, his mind seems to run circles. Maybe it was trying to think of everything but why he was really here... groping for stability... reaching out for something, anything that would make him feel normal.

"I used to have it good," he muses. His tone was soft, forcing anyone listening to try hard at catching what he was saying. "Not so great when I was a kid... got pushed around a lot, but... someone found me." He'd finally felt wanted. "Kinda the grand adventure a nerd dreams about, ya know?"

Scott tries to focus, though it's difficult, and he gradually leans back in his chair, trying so hard to relax... trying so hard to keep himself here. "TJY was... was like where I finally belonged. Even though I messed things up and... and sometimes made mistakes... I still had a place."

He stops, finding it nearly impossible to focus his thoughts, and at the same time, not even sure why he's saying what he is. It really had nothing to do with anything. But perhaps somewhere he thought if he talked, he wouldn't leave room for as much questioning.

"I wasn't the best... I was always... kinda clumsy I guess. But... at least I had a purpose. And then... it was a long time, but... someone even made me feel...special." Katie really had made him feel special, even now, after they'd broken up. "But then everything fell apart."

His eyes grow dim once more. "Nothing is the same. I can't... can't even see straight to do anything I just... can't function. Nothing I do is right... nothing I think is clear. But once.... just once..."

Scott's tone proves his desperation as the emotions fill his eyes again. "Once I felt good. But not anymore. There's just no hope.... I'm not... I can't..."

He looks down, now wishing he hadn't said anything at all. "I'm worthless," he whispers.


"Man!"

Axel turned from the front counter, lifting his eyebrows at Leo's dejected tone. "What?"

Leo smirks at him and points towards the door where the tall brunette had just walked out. "What it is about you?"

Axel doesn't have to fake innocence - he truly didn't know what Leo was inferring. "What are you talking about?"

"You're a chick magnet!" Leo throws his arms up. "I can't get a girl to give me the time of day, but every time some model walks in here, she can't get her eyes off you!"

Axel grits his teeth to keep from grinning. "Oh really."

"Yes, really!" Leo comes around the counter to lean over it, looking at Axel wildly. "What do you do anyway? I wanna know."

Axel finishes putting some papers away, then looks back up at his friend with seriousness. "Well, Leo... maybe it's because I don't try." He pats Leo's shoulder then heads to the door, punching his time card. "I'm out of here."

"You're just gonna leave me hanging like that?" Leo shouts after him. "Traitor!" But as the door falls shut, a little smile creeps into his face and he shakes his head, aiming back for the garage.

Axel skips up the steps to his apartment. Heaving a sigh, he rolls his eyes. Some guys would die to be in his shoes and he knew it... but sometimes his shoes didn't even seem to fit very well on his own feet.

Tossing his jacket across his couch, he greets his goldfish with a pinch of food, then flops down in his corner chair. Reaching back, he parts the horizontal blinds with a finger to look out across the empty lot behind the garage. His mind wanders for several minutes until he finally turns his head to glance at his answering machine. One message.

Getting back up, he goes over to his phone to listen. Rocky's voice greets him.

"Hey, Axel. Listen, Logan's down with something nasty. His voice is going fast. It's gonna take a miracle for him to be able to sing at the show in a couple days. Be thinking. Taylor voted me in, but I was thinking about asking Kyle. Let me know what you think. Later."

Axel gives another sigh and goes back to flop down in his chair again. His day had been long... now it felt longer. There had been good days... he shouldn't complain. But today had been a doozy. He had a headache that made his eyes feel like they'd been hit with two-by-fours, lunch hadn't agreed with him, he'd been blamed for a mistake on a car and...

He stops his mind from going further. It shouldn't really bother him that much that he didn't know whether or not Jess had gotten his message. But obviously it bothered him enough for him to lump it together with everything else from the day. So he'd had a crappy day... so what... tomorrow would be better. It would all blow over, and his stupid mistakes would ride on the wind.

He closes his eyes and lets his head sink deeper into his chair. He wanted to go for a walk... he would go for a walk... but right now he was just too tired.


Austin crumpled up another sheet of paper and let it fall into the waste basket. He rubs his eyes wearily, the misery evident on his face. What was the point anymore? This place? This mission? He looks around his office at all the things the years had built together. He hadn't moved into Carter's office. He hadn't wanted to. This responsibility... running this place... why was it handed to him? Why was he even here anymore?