Summer breeze

Jason quietly receives Katie’s feelings and deciphers them. It was second nature now…like simply knowing another language.

His mind wanders a bit, taking him back through time as she communicates…remembering their history together.

I hate it that you feel everything… I know it’s not my fault, and I know I shouldn’t have ever had to go through that as a child… but no one should have to share that with me either. It’s bad enough that the torment was passed on to me… it’s worse that it affects others now too.

He pauses his thoughts, mulling over them by himself until he expresses more.

But I guess… in a way, I now know I’m not alone. It used to be no one knew what I went through… at least knowing that you see it all, I know that I’m not going through it alone anymore.

As Katie shifts her weight, Jason retrieves his hand to tuck under his pillow again. He blinks back a couple more tears, though they’re almost gone now as his emotions start to settle once more.

My dreams are different now. They used to just be about the past…maybe mixed in with the present, and just a bit of imagination thrown in. Now… now it’s like I’m starting to remember things I didn’t before. It was always facts and physical torment. Now…now I’m remembering how I felt. I never realized how desperate I was…how as only a child I would rather have died that continued to be held by Alex. I guess…I guess I’m afraid that I will remember more that I didn’t before and it will just get worse.

Jason heaves a weary sigh and shifts his weight a little, but is careful not to move too much to make Katie uncomfortable.

Thanks for staying…I guess I needed my hero tonight whether I wanted to admit it or not.


Carson hears Jess’ question, but doesn’t answer right away. He was glad that Jess felt safe around him…at least he was doing something right again… at least he was still capable of making someone feel comfortable around him instead of hurting them or just taking advantage of them.

“No…” He finally answers her question, his eyes going back to the sidewalk as they walk. “I guess we never counted the stars. I did a lot when I was a kid…back in Australia.”

He pauses again, wondering how much he really wanted to talk about. It didn’t hurt as much now as it did…it was more of a dull ache. Especially after tonight and seeing that Misty had found someone else.

“She was like a breeze on a summer day, Jess. The only one that ever made my heart stop…the only one that ever turned me upside down. When no one else gave me a chance, she did…when all anyone else saw was an outlaw, she saw more than I even saw myself.”

Carson takes a deep breath. “And I cheated on her.” He shakes his head, finding it easier to admit, but still hearing it as so very foolish and utterly stupid. “Twice. Two strikes and I was out.”

They near TJY and Carson slows a little. “But I guess she’s happy now…and I’m glad. I suppose now it’s time for me to let her go…just finding it a little harder to do than I thought.”