Desperation

Jason grits his teeth and focuses out the window as he receives Nate's harsh tone. Maybe he deserved it.

The comments of friendship though, make him stop and think for just a moment, his own tempter starting to subside. "I guess I didn't realize you and Carson were that good of friends." He shrugs. "Maybe it's me who should be sorry."

He takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly, trying hard not to continue being mad. "I just felt lame in there, looking for answers when you already knew he had an alibi. It made me look like an idiot and he knew it." Jason looks down for a moment, rolling his eyes at himself. "I know I shouldn't have blown up though. I guess I am sorry. Let's just get back to work and see if Wyatt found anything more at Kyle and Phil's place."


To those who are busy, the day goes by too quickly, without enough time to get done everything that needed to be. To those who had nothing to do, the day drags on too slowly with the wish that it would just end so the new day would start.


The water had not been contaminated at Phil and Kyle's...but the glasses in the kitchen had. It had been a clever way to keep the TJY team guessing for a while, but after Wyatt's thorough examination of the apartment, it was that, they discovered that had poisoned Kyle. After completely cleaning out and sanitizing the entire kitchen, they were confident that all the poison was gone, and a security camera was installed by the font door. Someone had gotten in somehow, and though so far any Agency scum had never struck the same place twice like that, it was TJY's responsibility to keep the innocent Mitts brothers safe.

By the end of the day, Kyle is bored out of his mind, despite several visits from Phil and Mike and Jen. Having Jason around and Katie too helped, but all he really wanted was to go home. Rick, however wanted him in the infirmary one more night because he'd showed a slight fever in the afternoon. Kyle does his best to keep his own spirits up though, his smile never fading, his laughter continuing. Spending time with Misty and working on communicating proved to be just as silly as it was useful, but by the evening, Kyle was catching on and along with his own gestures and facial expressions, he was able to convey pretty much what he wanted to say. A far cry from all the talking he usually did though, it did still put a slight damper on things.


Carson's day goes from bad to worse, nothing going right, and misery only increasing. He can't concentrate on anything, his mind is everywhere but work, and by the time the day is over, he would be sure he'd be fired if he didn't know Herb better than that.

Deciding to take Herb up on the offer to use the back room at least for a night or two, Carson moves his bags back to the small bedroom. It was small, but it was more than he had anywhere else. Mostly all he wanted to do was sleep. But at the same time, he was thirsty, wanted some fresh air, and he wasn't in any mood to be alone. There was only one thought that was really appealing to him at the moment. A good cold beer would hit the spot.

It wouldn’t be the shortest walk, but he could use the exercise anyway... He'd come back in an hour or so and then sack out once he'd relaxed for a while...



Kyle sits cross-legged on the infirmary bed with notepad and pen in hand, having already been up and dressed an hour ago, before Rick or Misty had shown up this morning. He was more than ready to get out of here today, though he had to admit that his time with Misty had been fun. Tomorrow would be back work though, if Rick let him go. And then the band needed to hustle and get ready for their next gig.

That thought made him stop and think. They'd have to change some things around...switch up their routine a bit. He'd be able to play the keyboard, but there would be no banter from him, and no singing.

Swallowing hard, the pain was a good reminder that he wasn't supposed to use his voice. It was more depressing than he'd like to think...it was a little more major a deal than others might think it was. But he wasn't about to tell them why. Maybe this was his answer. Maybe this was how it was supposed to be, and he just needed to accept it as the answer he'd been looking for.


Carson’s eyes fly open. Where was he? A slight headache blurred his thinking and he squints into the dim light. It was morning….a work day…yes, he needed to get to work. He… His eyes widen as he feels a foot run slowly down his leg. Then he remembers.

Closing his eyes, he sinks further into the pillow that wasn’t his. A feeling he couldn’t describe hits him like a sledgehammer to the gut. He felt sick. How could he have so badly wanted something that not twenty-four hours later he loathed? It was enough to make his stomach churn, and for a moment, he really did feel as though he’d be sick.

Sitting up, he rubs his hands gingerly over his sore face. He didn’t even remember her name. Not two years prior, that thought would have made him laugh. But today…that thought made him want to kick himself. How had this happened…again…so soon after everything else...

“Mm…Carson?”

He stands up and grabs his jeans off the floor, not responding to her beckoning. It wasn’t fair for him to stay. If wasn’t fair to her, and it would be stupid for him...

The walk to work was a long and depressing one. He wasn’t even seeing anyone right now, but she had been…he’d been the cause of her cheating on someone. He'd seen the man's picture on the nightstand and had ignored it. He remembered Misty. The pain… Though the tables were turned this time, he very well may have contributed to the pain of someone else. It was on his hands…again. How many times would he do this? How many times would he give in to a life he had once loved and now hated? He hated where he was at, he hated his surroundings, he hated his life…he hated himself.

The bar had been relaxing all right. Too relaxing. He hadn't been able to say no to another drink, and striking up a conversation with a young woman had led to one thing, then the next. She'd been drinking too and hadn't known what she was getting herself into. But he had, and he'd taken advantage, satisfying himself before sleeping off most of his drink, but now...once again, reality knocked on the door. What was he doing? What was he thinking? He didn't even understand his own actions anymore. He wanted to not feel anything, but he could no longer stop the guilt. He knew too much about right and wrong not to feel guilty. Maybe in his previous life he'd felt nothing, but now...after experiencing the right way to live, he knew this way was wrong, and his conscience would not let him be.

Entering Mom and Pops' back door, Carson knows he's late once again. Instead of getting ready to work first though, he goes straight to the kitchen, bypassing Mabel and Aerith without a word. Going through the doors, he spots Herb, and for a moment, he just stands and looks at him, his eyes full of the confusion emotions that were erupting inside of him. He was out of control and there was only one thing he could do right now to stop it.

Walking over to the counter by Herb, he takes his wallet out of his pocket and shoves it toward him. In it was his ID and all the money he had...and he was desperate not to use either. "Don't give this back to me," he begs. His eyes search for something solid to grasp onto. He'd never done anything like this before, but never had he felt so desperate for an answer. "Not until I deserve it."