Medicine

Hearing a car, Jason knows without looking that it is Katie. The more days that went by, the more in tune he became, and the more sensitive he was to her presence and feelings. What at one point bothered him so much, now came as a strange form of comfort that he wouldn't easily admit. For without Katie, not only did he suffer, but it was as if a piece of himself was gone.

Looking out at the lake, he just lets Katie come, and remains quiet. He understood the silent words, and listened to what she had to say. He had been too harsh. He never should have thought Katie would leave him high and dry, and he understood good and well what she was saying now.

A bit of guilt creeps up on him and he lets it out, not minding if Katie knew how he felt. He'd been so upset... he still was... but he shouldn't have taken it out on her like he had. She hadn't meant her words like he'd taken them, and it had been stupid of him to stay mad like he had.

A slight grin surfaces at Katie's ending statement.

I don't mind your babble. I rather like it.

Finally turning his head, he looks down at her, studying her eyes and the soft glow of her face.

When will I learn that you're the medicine I need, not the cause of my ailment?

He sighs deeply. Actual words just didn't want to come. He was almost better now at their own language than spoken English

I'm sorry too. I was being a jerk, and on top of it, I know I probably put you through heck last night.

Sliding off the tailgate to stand next to Katie, he remains close, but keeps his focus back out on the water, his hands in his own pockets for several quiet minutes. Yes... memories were here. A few private emotions he keeps to himself, recalling his and Katie's time here and the first real kiss they had shared. In a world of black, that had been his light before everything had fallen apart. And now everything had turned upside down and again so many times, it felt like those memories were a lifetime ago. Yet they were so fresh and vivid, that Katie was right - it felt like it was just yesterday.

"Everything is changing," he comments softly. "The big picture... our own little world... us. It's all changing."

He thinks of Austin. He thinks of TJY. He thinks of his mom. He thinks of the past. He thinks of prison. He thinks of the here and now. He thinks of his friends. Nothing was the same. Nothing would ever stay the same.

Without turning, Jason slides his hand out of his pocket and reaches over to find Katie's hand in her own. Drawing it out, he locks his fingers with hers, starting to let the emotions flow again. He lets them come slowly so the pain would not be so great, and like a poison being released, he can feel the tension begin to lessen as it serves to energize its destination. Remnants of anger... bits and pieces of confusion... and a hurt that went so deeply, it could never be fully removed.

He had trusted a man all his life, and was now feeling the sting of betrayal. He felt used... a fool.. and on some level, just a little bit worthless. He was angry at the circumstances. He was so hurt by his own grandfather. He was confused at what had happened, and what was to come.

A sudden shrill ring shatters the exchange of feelings, and Jason jerks to attention, his hand going for the phone on his belt. Today was not a day to miss calls, no matter what he was doing.

"Yeah, hello?" His eyebrows raise. "Yes? And? ...alright. No, nothing new. ...When? ...Okay. Yeah. ...Thanks."

Flipping the phone shut and clipping it back on his belt, Jason heaves another sigh. "That was Brown. A judge will be seeing Austin in a couple days about the incident with Scott. Decisions will be made then."

Finally turning to actually face Katie, he reaches out to run a finger down the side of her face, tucking a lock of wind-blown hair behind her ear. Though their moment had been broken, it didn't seem to matter much. A million and one thoughts raced through Jason's mind, and he didn't try to organize them, knowing now that Katie would sense and recognize them. Brown. Austin. Scott. Band practice tonight. Katie might want to call Wendy. His mom. Carson. Scott again.

Still looking into her eyes, Jason finally wraps his arms around her and pulls her close in a warm hold.

I don't know what I would do without you, Hero. Even if I could live without you... I don't think I would want to.

Withdrawing just a little, he has to bend and turn his head to reach closer, his lips gently finding hers.

He hurt so much right now, that all he longed for was the comfort she offered. He knew this was his most vulnerable position. When this close... touching... giving of himself... His emotions were no longer a choice - they would be revealed no matter what. And for a moment, he feels like a little boy again that just wants to find a corner and curl up to cry.

He leans into Katie more firmly, trying to feel her own comfort, while his hurt continued to be released. His arms locked around her, a tear finally surfaces to mingle in their kiss. Couldn't he just stay here and never let this moment end? Couldn't the world stop right now and leave them in peace?

Eventually, Jason gently retreats, though still holds Katie in a hug.

Thank you for not giving up on me.


Seeing the look in Jess' eye, Carson's heart feels as though it had just been stabbed. In the past, he'd treated relationship so flippantly... The emotions he felt now were new and confusing. He didn't know what to do with them. He didn't want Jess to be hurt, but he knew she was. He wanted to fix it, but he knew he couldn't. He wished he could have stopped her from having feelings for him, but no one could have predicted it. And now... now it was just a mess of hurt, and all because of him. He'd messed thing up...again.

Hearing Jess' words about Misty, something flashes in Carson's eyes. He drops his gaze and slowly withdraws his hand from hers to play with his glass again. He wasn't breaking things off with Jess because he was planning on going after Misty. On the contrary...it was better if he just didn't try anything again. With as many times as he'd messed up in the past... maybe it was high time he just did it alone without the chance of ruining even more.

"Some opportunities join the grains of sand as they're blown across the ocean," he comments quietly. He wanted to tell Jess that this had absolutely nothing to do with Misty, but even though he wasn't planning to go back to her right now, that just wasn't the truth. It was becaues of Misty. It was because Carson knew what it truly felt like to have feelings for someone... deep feelings... and they just weren't there with Jess.

Finally looking back up, he takes a deep breath, bravely looking at her eyes again. "Thank you, Jess... I know that.." He wanted to say that he knew she was hurt, but what good would that do? She was trying not to let it show, and maybe it was best if he simply respected that. This was something he couldn't fix.

"Can I make you a strawberry milkshake for desert before you leave?"


As Wendy accepts, a wave of emotions hits Clint. He was so happy that she said yes, and so very scared at the same time. As she reaches out to hug him, he stands, pulling her up with him, and holding her tightly, his face buried against her hair. Her words sting. He knew he'd hurt her by leaving.

"I missed you too," he replies quietly.

Drawing away, he takes a moment to look her in the eye. Seeing a tear on her cheek, he once again feels the guilt for everything that had happened. But a smile is forced to the surface anyway, and he reaches out with his thumb to wipe the tear away.

Looking down, he takes her hand in one, and with the other, he removes the ring from the box, slowly sliding it onto Wendy's finger. Gazing back into her eyes, he leans down to place a tender kiss on her lips.

Withdrawing to see her eyes again, his voice is still hushed. "I love you, Wendy." And behind the words is a reassuring tone... one that says, we'll be okay. One that says, I'm scared too, but we'll make it.

All of a sudden, a whoop shatters the silence, and reality is back. Clint jumps and looks to Jeff who is now standing, with his arms in the air. Jeff's enthusiasm is immediately contagious as a round of applause breaks out, along with a shrill whistle from Mick.

Clint's face reddens, but he can't help but laugh, keeping an arm slung around Wendy's shoulders. His eyes roam the room and land on his father.

Jim meets his gaze, and offers an approving nod.

And that's all Clint needs, to know that he had done the right thing.

If you love her

Pulling into darkend parkway Katie can make out Jason's truck. Pulling next to it she sits in her car for a moment. She had hardly talked to Jason all day and it was such a strange feeling. Finally opening the door Katie gets out and puts her hands in her pocket before walking to the back of Jason's pick up where he sat. Leaning aganst the tailgate Katie herself looks to the water.

So many memories in one place you know. It's strange how time goes by so fast and we still think something happend yesterday.

Leting out a small sigh Katie can see her breath in the air. It was chilli, and knowing there was a rift between Jason and herself seemed to make it colder. The memories of time fill her mind as her heart acks just a little.

Listen J...I'm sorry.

Turning Katie looks at Jason her arms still in her pockets as she scruntches together just a little trying to stay warm. Her eyes lock with Jason's for a moment...the emotions pooling behind her eyes as they glisened in the moonlight.

"I was upset yesterday J. I guess I said alot of things that maybe I shouldnt have. I didnt mean I wasnted to abanded our mission, or leave you I was just trying to state that I dont think Austin should be running the show. He is changing everything, he's going aganst everything we have worked for, its just he's make it seem like the meaning is being lost."

*Katie lets out a sigh and her mind still turns almost a million miles a minute. Not only did she miss him but her mind missed him as well. She missed shairing things with her and she missed the communication. Now it was almost like she was catching up her mouth matching her brain speed not letting Jason get a word in.*

"All in all Jason I dont think I would leave. Let alone leave you. You mean alot to me you know that, I'd never leave you. Oh J, am I even making sence here? I am trying to relay how I feel and to me it feels like its coming out as babble."

The night goes on and dinner is good, enjoying her time with Carson just came to Jess now even if she wasnt trying. Just being around him felt good. Tonight something seemed differnt though Jess tryed to push it aside and finaly it was gone.

As dinner draws to the end Jess can feel the tention in the air once more as the tone become more searouse. Watching Carson as he speeks Jess almost holds her breath feeling what was to come but hopeing maybe if she held her breath it wouldnt.

As Carson lays his hand on Jess and she hears his words finally she lets her breath out. The inevable not being able to be stoped. The worst coming true, and though Jess new Carson was doing it because he didnt want to hurt Jess ferther it still hurt. She new this might happend and this was a risk. Jess hadnt planed on falling for Carson but she had and now she was feeling the sting.

Finally letting out a sigh Jess look up from Carson's hand and though a smile was on her face the emotions were also in her eyes. She tryed to make them look happy, and show she was ok, but if one looked close enough you could see she was hurt, and she was sad.

"Friendship...I think I can handle that. If your hearts not there its just not there right."

Jess thinks for a moment as she trys to keep her emotions from showing. Maybe she shouldnt say what she wanted to...but maybe she should. Would it make her feel better or worse? Somehow she wasnt sure Jess new, though it hurt to addmit she new where Carson's heart belonged. No matter how much she had tryed to capture it, his heart belonged to one woman and one woman alone had the power of his heart. The power to shape him into what he was today. Yes it was her who in turn stole Carson's heart and helped him become a better man.

"If you still love her Carson, don't let her get away. I've seen her and she is a good woman. I also saw you along time ago when you were with her. You were happy even if you made some bad choses. Dont let the opertunity pass you by eh? Even if you have to work at it a little bit its worth it."

Jess gives a smile the words she said hurt, but she new they were true and all she wanted for Carson was him to be happy. If that ment without her than so be it. But that was the power of friendship and the true caring for someone just seeing them happy made it ok even if it did hurt.

Rosetta can't help but smile back at Mick. It was good to see him, see her family sitting at the table. She was so happy in what she had, though her eyes drifted across the table and they land on Wendy for a moment as a suddon bit of sadness over took her. She could only hope things would work out for the two that were still so young. She couldnt even imagen how Wendy must be feeling and even though he was not here Clint must be pretty confused himself. Rosetta prayed that God would help them both find there way.

Wendy trys to smile as Rosalyn and Jeff go back and forth. She wanted to keep her spirits up and her head high but it just felt so hard. In a room filled with people and Wendy never felt so alone.

Lifting her head as she hears the door open Wendy can't help that her eyes go wide for just a moment. Not saying anything Wendy's eyes just lock with Clint's as they follow him while he walks till finally he was next to her. Watching him intently as her goes to one knee Wendy's heart races even faster, our of being nervouse herself and out of a small fear that creeped up inside of her. Seeing the emotions behind Clint's own eyes Wendy trying to show reasurance through hers.

As Clint's words float to Wendy's hears she can't help the small smile spread acorss her face. Half showed her own fear, and half showed happyness.

"Yes Clint, I will."

Wendy was excited for this but this was not the was she had exspected, this was not how she had dreamed it. She loved Clint that much was true. She had no doubt in her mind that even if this hadnt happend they would of gotten married sooner or later but Now was not the time she had wanted it...and so the first step in reality made itself known as things happend now because they had too.

Slowly sitting up a little Wendy puts her arms around Clint in a hug as a small tear rolled down her cheek one she did not want him to see though the hug had meaning she had missed him and she had worryed about him.

"I'm glad your back. I missed you."

Changes

Bret grins as Charlotte approaches, and automatically drapes his arms around her. As she pulls out the quarter, he gets a mischievous glint in his eye, and pulls her even closer. "I don't need to flip a coin. I already grabbed what I wanted."

Cocking his head, he gives her another kiss, drawing away with a soft laugh and a hug. "Mm...I love it when you come home."

Leaning his forehead against Charlotte's, he rocks her back and forth. "I don't care what we do for lunch, as long as it's with you. And... later I wanna tell you about a phone call I got. But not now, it'll take too long." He grins, knowing that secrecy drove his wife crazy.


Jason can't help but feel a bit of relief, hearing from Katie as well. Though he still wasn't sure who was right or wrong, at leas she wasn't mad enough at him that she'd remain silent.

I don't know... Can we just meet for supper or something? I got a couple errands to run... Maybe by the lake?


The afternoon goes by more quickly than anticipated. For some it's a relief that it passes with speed, while others wish it might have lasted just a little bit longer.


Carson grins as he sees Jess, hearing her offer to help. "Well... since you're asking..." He throws a wet washcloth in her direction with a teasing flourish. "...you can wipe the tables for me."

He holds up a warning finger. "And no complaints, or you won't get that extra cheese."

Tossing her a wink, he turns back to the sink where he was just finishing up the last of the dishes.

With more hands, it doesn't take long to get Mom and Pop's cleaned up for the night. The evening had been a slow one, and they'd closed a little earlier anyway, so it made for an earlier night than normal.

Carson fixes a pizza for Jess and himself, getting their supper set at one of the small corner tables. With the radio going and a few of the lights on, it created a somewhat homey atmosphere that he'd gotten used to since living here.

The meal is relatively quiet, though Carson tries to keep the mood light, despite a dimness behind his eyes. He knew he'd been overcompensating this evening, and knew that Jess had probably noticed he wasn't acting quite like himself. He wished he could just enjoy this evening... and he could, partially... but what he needed to say... it just wasn't fair.

Once the pizza is just about gone, and both had settled into quiet conversation, a pause is his own signal. But he hesitates anyway.

“Jess, I…” Carson leans back in the booth. He looks down at his glass, spinning it on the table, and watching the water rings change shape.

“You have… really helped me, you know that?” He finally looks back up at her, bravely staring into her eyes. “You have given me things to look forward to… you have made me realize that despite my past there are still things worth living for. You’ve been a bright spot in my days.”

He offers a small smile. He did mean what he was saying… his words and feelings were genuine and he hoped she knew that. “You’re a strong woman, Jess. You’ve got a good head on your shoulders, you stand up even when the going gets tough, and your friendships last because you’re loyal.”

Carson pauses again. There were things that he didn’t want to say, but he knew he had to. He’d never had to do this before with anyone… he didn’t know how. But he knew that even if he’d gone through this before, it wouldn’t make it any easier.

He lets go of his glass and slowly reaches across the table to take Jess’ hand in his, running a thumb over her fingers. “I value your friendship… and I can only hope that I don’t lose it.”

The next word was the worst of all. “But…” He inwardly cringes at it, but knows it must be said. “…I’ve come to realize that…friendship is… is all I can offer to you.”

Emotions gloss over Carson’s eyes, proving how hard this was for him. “I’m sorry, Jess… But I had to tell you before I let things go any further.”

He searches her face, his hand still on hers, waiting… wondering.


Jason parks his truck in the lot near the lake and gets out, thankful for his jacket. It was a warm day, but the breeze was chilly, and the evening air was proof of a dropping temperature. Fingering his keys for a moment, he stuffs them in his pocket and glances at his watch. He hadn't talked with Katie since earlier when she'd agreed to meet him. He'd run to the airport and with some help, had taken care of business there. Now it was a bit after suppertime and he hadn't eaten, but his appetite wasn't really what required food at the moment anyway. He needed to get to practice at Mike's in a while, and he was still wondering if Brown was going to call him... but for now... for now, he needed to push those things aside. There was something more important that needed to be done.

Moving around to the back of his truck, he hops up on the open tailgate to sit and wait, while staring out at the nearby water. This place held a lot of memories...


The mess hall is as noisy as always, everyone gathered and eating, chattering over the evening meal. Word had spread very quickly amongst the close-knit family and friends, and by now, everyone knew about Wendy and Clint. Though surprised and maybe disappointed, no one spoke harshly of it, keeping quiet out of respect, and going about life as normal. They were friends and family, not judges.

Jim stirs his food on his plate and looks up to glance around the room for the tenth time. His son was still nowhere to be found. He’d waited all day… he’d tried calling him again, but with no luck. Worry had set in. Now not only was Jim concerned about his son’s return, but his safety as well. Was he okay?

Becky gives her husband’s arm a reassuring pat, trying to let him know that it would all be okay one way or another.

Mick sits nearby with Rosetta on one side and BJ on the other, trying to focus on the conversations around him, but finding his mind wandering to his brother a couple tables away. He hadn’t spoken to Jim about anything that had been going on, but he didn’t have to. He knew the stress that was involved there, and could only hope it would all work out.

Bringing his attention back around, he nudges Rosetta with an elbow and offers her a smile. He’d hardly seen her all day, and sitting with her at suppertime was always something he looked forward to, whether it was in their home or here with everyone else.

Rosalyn had chosen to sit with Wendy tonight, talking as normal, laughing and smiling, doing her best to lighten the strange tension. Even so, it was awkward without her brother around. “…So Jeff has challenged me to a card game later, and I told him that I would only play as long as I had a partner to make sure he didn’t cheat.”

“I heard that!” Jeff’s voice comes from the table behind her.

Rosalyn laughs and looks over her shoulder. “And I thought you were going deaf.”

“Ha! If you…”

Suddenly the messhall door swings open, interrupting the chatter. All eyes look up in surprise, no one having heard any kind of vehicle.

Clint stands in the doorway.

He’s still in his jeans, boots and leather jacket, obviously just getting back. His eyes scan the room and he can feel the questions in the gazes around him, even though the others tried not to let it show. But his eyes were looking for only one person. And finding her, that’s where his focus stayed.

Jason’s words rang in his ears. “Whatever you do, don’t leave her. I’ve seen and experienced those results, and I know you love her too much to put her or the kid through that. I can’t imagine how you must feel, but if you want to do what’s right, you’ve got to be a man about this.”

Shutting the door, Clint looks to Wendy, ignoring everyone else in the room. Two days had been too long. And now he was ready.

Walking with purpose, driven by bravery, he goes straight to her table. The others in the room all try not to make a big deal out of anything, but it’s hard not to, and all conversations seem to be forgotten. Where had Clint been? Was he okay? Was he staying? What was he going to do now?

Jim’s eyes widen slightly and he moves to stand, but Becky keeps a hand on his arm in a request for him to stay and wait to see what Clint was doing.
Pausing beside Wendy’s chair, Clint swallows hard, nervousness and fear showing in his eyes. He hadn’t spoken to her since everyone had fought. He’d answered no calls, and hadn’t even let her know he was okay. But the guilt wouldn’t keep him from doing what he knew he needed to… what he wanted to.

Slowly lowering to one knee, he pulls out a small velvet box from his pocket, opening it to reveal a dainty diamond ring.

The room goes dead quiet, everyone anticipating his words that come next. One could hear a pin drop. But it’s only Clint’s words that are heard.

“Wendy… I love you. I want to be the man you deserve and… and the father our child deserves.” He pauses, his gaze searching Wendy’s eyes. “Will you marry me?”

Extra Cheese

Looking at the hat that now rested on her desk Misty is silent. The noises around her there but not paying much mind of them. Rick and Scott's chatter drownding out in the background. What was going to happen now, what did this mean. was it impaulse she kissed Carson on, or would she take him back in a heart beat. Misty felt so confused, she new she missed Carson but...she was so unsure of alot of things.What would happen next Misty wasnt sure.

Sitting in her chair Katie flips through the tv channles. Today had been a pretty boring day not to mention she felt exsausted. Jason had, had a rough night witch in turn caused her to, ontop on not being able to sleep well anyways. She was tired, nothing on, she felt depressed she hadnt talked to her best friend all day Katie was just in a funk.

Finally settaling back Katie lands on an old movie. It looked like it would be on the boring side but it was better than nothing. Settaling back and pulling the blanket up to her chin Katie trys to get lost giving her mind a break.

As Katie's eyes slowly close and the TV drowns in the back ground Jason's emotions and message reach her causing her eues to snap open. She was a bit saprised but thankful he finally had contacted her.

Yeah, I'd like that. Where do you want to meet up?

Stepping into the house Charlotte looks down at her watch. She was a little later than normal but still in time for lunch. She only hoped Bret hadnt eaten yet.

"Bret sorry I'm late for lunch I hope you didnt start without me."

Taking her jean jacket off she throws it over the back of one of the chairs and sets her purse on the table before heading to the kitchen. Seeing Bret a smil spreads across Charlotte's face. Wrappinf her arms around him her grin grows bigger as she places a tender kiss on her husbands lips. Pulling out a quarter from Bret's jeans pocket where she new it would be Charlotte jokes holding it out to him.

"Heads and we go grab something, tails and I cook us something nice and tonight for dinner we go on an adventure."

Tapping on the door a few times Jess than enters signaling like she had so many times before to Carson she was here. A smile spreads across her face as she see Carson cleaning up for the night. Making her away across the dinning room and into the back Jess can't help but stand and watch Carson for a moment before speeking.

"So, I'll take extra cheese on that pizza and point me to what I should clean and it shall be done."

Entering the kitchen farther Jess smile spreads even more over her face. She loved spending time with Carson even if she was helping him clean up. It was nice talking to someone and having something to do.

Thwarted temptation

Jason was just heading out of his office when Carson stalks by at a fast pace. "Carson, what..." His question trails off as he goes ignored. Why was Carson coming from the infirmary, and why the hurry? What had happened with Austin?

Confused, he shuts his door and takes a detour to the infirmary himself before he left.


Rick and Scott look back at Misty, neither showing much emotion other than a little bit of surprise. Rick clears his throat and continues to clean up his own mess. Scott looks back down at his playing cards, unsure what to say or do. He'd never felt more in the way than now.

Rick straightens up, then spots Carson's ball cap on the floor. Thinking a moment, he goes over to lean down and pick it up. Fingering it a moment, he sighs, then looks to Misty, seeing her tears. Laying a gentle hand on her shoulder, he gives it a pat. For once, there would be no scolding or teasing reprimand. He knew this situation went a lot deeper than two people wanting physical attentions. He also knew that both Misty and Carson were seeing other people, but today was not the day to judge.

He lays Carson's hat on Misty's desk, then turns around to try and concentrate on something else. "Scott? Ready for lunch?"

Scott doesn't lift his eyes. "I'm not really hungry."

"I know, but you need to eat something."

Scott throws down another playing card. The thought of food simply wasn't appealing. He really just wanted to lie down and sleep again, but that was impossible here during the day. "I'm really not hungry," he repeats.

Rick sets his hands on his hips. His patient was skin and bones. And even though he had regained strength and health since his return, he was slowly wasting away. "Scott... you will either eat some lunch, or I will put you on an i.v. Which do you prefer?"

Scott sighs, gathering up his cards. "If I eat, can I go home?"

Rick rolls his eyes. Scott was so difficult, but so innocently weary at the same time. "Alright. It's a deal. You eat a good lunch and supper, and tomorrow I'll take you home."

Scott looks up quickly, his eyes widening. "Really?"

"Yes." Rick doesn't want to. He knows there is a risk involved. For if Scott left, it would be harder getting him back into TJY. "But there is one condition."

"What?"

"You spend half your days here under medical observation." Rick eyes Scott sternly. "Shall we say... for job security."

Scott looks down again. He knew what that meant. Part of him just wanted everyone to let the subject drop and quit fighting on his behalf, but the other part of him was so scared to be without this place to come to, that he would do anything to stay. "Okay," he mumbles.

"Good." Rick nods with satisfaction. "Let me go get you a sandwich from the break room then."

Just as he's turning to leave, he stops, seeing Jason in the doorway. "Hotshot... yes?"

Jason shrugs. "I... just wanted to see if... well..." He glances in Misty's direction, sensing something odd in the air. "Um, Carson..."

Rick shakes his head to signal Jason to keep his mouth shut. "I was just getting Scott some lunch. Care to join?"

Jason wants to know more. He wants to know what on earth happened, but he resists, respecting Rick's silent request. "Uh...no... thanks. I better be going before I get into tr..."His phrase goes unfinished, as another shadow darkens the doorway. Spinning around, Jason comes face-to-face with Austin. An anger flares up inside of him, so intense that it flashes in his eyes and rattles the nearby jars on the counter.

Rick remains calm, moving so Jason can see him. "Easy," he directs quietly.

Jason puts a cap on his anger, but his glare at his grandfather remains.

Austin eyes him suspiciously. "What are you doing here?"

"Visiting a friend," Jason states flatly. "Unless that is now against the rules too. I ought to have..."

"Jason," Rick warns. He looks to Austin. "Something you need?"

"No. I just came to inform you of something," Austin replies. His tone is cool, his body language implying his difficulty at knowing how to act around his grandson, despite his chin that was lifted high. "Your request is approved."

For a moment, Rick is confused. "What..." His eyes widen. "You mean for funding?"

"Yes."

"But I thought..."

"Do you want me to change my mind again?"

"Of course not." Rick recovers from his surprise. "I... thank you. I will proceed as I deem necessary."

"Please keep me informed." Austin gives Jason one last glance before turning around and heading back down the hall.

Jason looks at Rick, bewildered. "Did he just..."

"He did." Rick blinks. "What on earth changed his mind?"

Jason can't help a surprised chuckle. "Carson... that dog. He's got more guts..." He shakes his head. "I need to go. I'll um..." He glances towards Misty again, then back to Rick. "...catch up on the rest later. Call me if there's anything new."

"I will."

Jason gives Scott a quick wave, then heads out, down the hall and hitting the main floor. Bottling up all his confused emotions started an annoying headache, and he just wanted to get out of here again.

Giving Nate a sloppy salute on his way out, he at least acknowledges those around him, though he doesn't stop to chat. Austin may have surprised him, but he wasn't keen on sticking around here just yet. Besides, if it wasn't for Carson, apparently, they still would have gotten nowhere.

Hitting the outdoors, the fresh air was welcomed. Looking around, he saw Carson nowhere. Strange... Jason wondered what on earth had happened in the infirmary, but could only guess that it had something to do with things between Carson and Misty.

Once back on the road, Jason glances around for Carson, but not seeing him, heads for home. Pulling into his driveway though and shutting off the engine, he doesn't get out right away. Taking his keys, he fidgets with them for a moment, not really wanting to go inside. There was nothing inside for him. And his whole afternoon was empty, other than waiting for Brown to call. Then tonight it was just going over to Mike's. Though he did have to make a quick run to the airport. For a moment, he wondered if Katie would be there at practice tonight.

But none of it seemed right. Not when his emotions were so off kilter, and not when things weren't right between him and one of his best friends.

Jason heaves a weary sigh, just settling back in his seat. He still didn't understand what Katie had meant, and why she'd said what she had... but...

Hey, Katie? Can we talk?


Carson trudges down the sidewalk, giving a swift kick to a tin can to send it flying down an alleyway. Muttering under his breath, he heads the long way back to Mom and Pop's, upset with himself, upset with what had happened, and even upset that he'd forgotten his hat. He'd been stupid. He shouldn't have let himself get carried away. He shouldn't have put himself in that position. He shouldn't have given Misty that opportunity.

Of course he still had feelings for her... of course he missed her... of course he wished he could at least be friends with her. But that just wasn't possible. Not with her relationship with Kyle. Not with the distrust that had been built. Not with Carson's own history and pattern.

Stopping, Carson looks up, realizing that he was standing in front of the Bullseye. His mouth automatically starts to water. It had been a long time... he'd been really good... He can feel his wallet in his pocket, and the temptation is overwhelming. He just wanted to relax. He just wanted to have a distraction to stop thinking about all that he was going through.

He takes a step toward the door. He wouldn't stay long... he did have to get back to work, so there was an amount of accountability there. And he could control himself...right? Another step takes him closer.

A horn honking just about makes him jump out of his skin. Spinning around, he squints in the sun, seeing the towtruck that had pulled up to the curb.

Axel cocks his head, looking through the open window. "Need a ride?" he asks loudly.

Carson hesitates, though ambles toward the idling truck, looking through the passenger side. "Just walking back to work."

Axel eyes him for a moment. "Well how about I give you a ride?"

"I'm alright." Carson shrugs. "I need the fresh air."

Axel proves his insightfulness. "Then I'll keep the windows down." He looks at Carson knowingly, his stare giving the message that he wasn't about ready to give up. "Come on. I'll buy you a coke and lend you an ear."

Carson sighs deeply, unable to help a bit of a wry grin. "Alright. You win."

"Good." Axel smiles and waits for Carson to get in before pulling away again. "Now... tell me what's up."


Bret scans the mail as he walks back into the house, kicking the door shut, and ambling to the kitchen. Seeing nothing of real worth, he tosses the envelopes on the table, giving a weary sigh before trudging to the living room where the television was still on. The days Charlotte worked left him in a house full of boredom. Con was doing lunch with Jamie, so that was out. No one else seemed available to do anything either. He'd job hunted a little bit, but had found nothing that he was particularly interested in. His and Charlotte's financial situation was just fine, with her job, and his savings from working with Titan. But he was going stir crazy.

The ringing phone provides him with a break and answering it, he perks up a bit. "Well hi, Kirk. Been a long time. ...Yeah.... no, no, I'm still around. Mm-hmm... No." He laughs. "Settled down... yeah, married again. ...What? Oh, good. ...Naw, just hanging out 'till February. Yeah... What? ...Really?"

Bret straightens and walks around the living room, looking for the remote to turn the tv down. "No, I hadn't... well after what happened... Yeah, I know, but still. What's Jared saying?" He gives a short laugh. "Well that was a long time coming. ....I don't know... I mean... yeah... of course I want to, but... No, no... I'm just not planning on going very far now. Oh? Well yeah, I mean... You know me. I... I'll think about it, alright? How much time do I have? Okay. I'll get back to you. What's your number?"

He fishes around for a piece of paper and pencil, sloppily jotting down a phone number. "Alright. Yeah. Thanks for thinking of me. Bye." Ending the call, Bret stares down at the cordless phone in his hand. Oh, how he wanted to do this. But should he? It seemed alright. But what would Charlotte think? He bites his lip. Surely she wouldn't mind, would she?


Carson wipes off one of the tables, gathering up dirty dishes to haul back to the kitchen. He'd gotten back to work just in time to help with the last bit of the lunch rush, promising to make up for lost time by closing up tonight. He hadn't said anything about where he'd been, but as usual, he hadn't been questioned.

Getting back to the kitchen, he wipes his hands on his apron and exits for just a moment, going to the phone in the back. He had just a couple spare seconds. Getting Jess' voicemail like he knew he would, he leaves a message.

"Hey, Jess, it's me. How about keeping me company while I close up tonight? I could whip up a pizza for us too, if you want. I, um... thought we could maybe talk a bit. So... you can call or just show up. See you later."

What

As Carson's arm wraps around her and his other goes to her back Misty can feeling the gap between them closing as for a moment its like old times. Carson's warmth sent chills through Misty a feeling she had missed all to much.

Getting lost in the moment Misty's mind takes her back to the times Carson and her shaired. Every moment they had spend together.Must time had pasted but it felt like it had only been a day. A long day that neather could wait for it to end so they could see the other once more.

As Carson pulls away for a moment Misty looks into his eyes she saw the fire once more, she saw the light. Not wanting this moment to end Misty welcomes Carson's return not wanting the moment to end.

But as the noise sounds and brings Misty out of her world of thought, her moment of bliss everything seems to come into view and her minds starts to reel. Seeing Carson taking the steps away from her it sends a pain through Misty's heart. What had she done? What was she doing?
As Carson turns and leaves Misty takes a step forward to say something but before anything can come out he was gone. Turning slightly Misty looks from Rick to Scott and than back to Rick. Hanging her head a little Misty goes back to her desk and sits down. She new she was wrong, she new this shouldnt have happend. Looking at the locket that rested on her desk a tear rolled out of Misty's eye before she picked it up and opend her desk placeing it next to the envilope with Carson's braclet and key. What would happen now?

What...

As Misty draws near to Carson, a part of him wanted to back away. Being this close to her was a form of torture for him. But he stays... his feet don't want to move.

Misty's hand running down his arm, then taking his own hand seems to send a shock through him, and his pulse quickens. As her other hand reaches his face, he blinks, unsure of what he intentions were. Swallowing hard, he listens to her words, not wanting that hope to rise within him again. He didn't want to crash and burn again. He didn't want to feel that tearing of his heart once hope had been reborn. What was Misty doing?

But as she nears and her lips touch his own, all intentions, all fears, all questions... none seem to matter. For in a single instant, the fire that had all but died... that had been snuffed out with pride... that had lost all light... burst into flames.

Carson takes in Misty’s kiss, gradually returning it with increasing passion. Her hand running through his hair sends chills down his spine, just like it used to do.

Taking his one hand out of his pocket, he wraps it around Misty’s waist, bringing her closer to him. His other, he lets go of her hand to slide to her back, unwilling for there to be space between them.

As he withdraws to tilt his head the other way, the brim of his hat bumps Misty’s forehead, sending the hat to the floor. But too enveloped in the kiss, it goes ignored.


Scott looks up from the bed, his eyes widening slightly at the scene. Now that, he hadn’t expected. Glancing over to the counter, Rick has the same astonished look on his face. Neither want to stare, but neither can help it.


Warmth washes over Carson like a forgotten summer breeze. He had missed Misty so very much, and for a moment, he was lost in time, almost forgetting that it had passed at all, and he was here, with her, for the first time, all over again.

Drawing away slightly, Carson’s lips brush against hers lightly, moving to her cheek, then back to her lips again. He didn’t want to leave. He didn’t want to let go.


Rick’s hand slides from the counter without him realizing it, and all too late, he feels the tray that he took with it. It crashes to the floor, spilling its contents in a loud avalanche, and he’s instantly on his knees picking it up.


The noise shocks Carson back to reality and suddenly he realizes just what has happened. Stunned, he takes a step back, his hands sliding forward to Misty’s arms. His eyes lock with hers. No… this couldn’t be happening… could it? What did it mean? Where did it put them now? Was this real? Was it not?

His pulse still racing, he swallows hard, slowly letting go of Misty, and backing up another step. “Misty, I…” But words escaped him. She was with someone else… so was he… they couldn’t... they shouldn’t… But the fire… oh, the fire was so bright and warm.

His eyes search hers for a moment, before he suddenly spins on his heel. Aiming for the door, he doesn’t say goodbye to Scott like planned, but gets to the hall, his strides lengthening. He couldn’t stay… he’d made a mistake… he was confused… He wanted to stay… but… no… yes…

Making his way across the main floor, he hits the exit, sucking in a breath of fresh air. But his energy was spent, and instead of walking home, he leans up against the brick wall, just staying… trying to figure out what had just happened.

There own anger

*Misty looks at the locket on her desk and than back up at Carson. Her eyes now glossy with the tears she was trying to hold back. She'd had missed Carson, and she had missed his voice. She even missed the stupid little fights they would get into over stupid little things. Misty addmited she missed him. Her anger had clouded her judgment as she tryed to push away her feelings for him, but no matter how she tryed she couldnt. When she saw Carson everything came undone and she new she loved him.

Running a hand over the locket for a moment Misty is silent just listening to Carson's words. Quickly removing her hand from the locket on would think it was on fire and had burned her, and maybe inside her heart it did. Bringing her eyes back up to looks at Carson her next actions even confused her. It was almost like time had stoped and everyone in the room had vanished. Carson and herself where the only ones who mattered, who were there. Standing Misty couldnt help drawing closer to Carson as her heart started to beat faster, and her own hand shook her eyes never leaving Carson's. It had been a long, to long since her staired into the deepths of those eyes. When she looked into those eyes could she see the world? Yes she new she could.

Running her hand down Carson's arm once again she takes it from his pocket and interlocks her fingers with his and bringing her other hand to the side of his face for a moment running a finger over his cheek as she whispers.*

"Sometimes things arnt always gone, just lost clouded by there own anger and anything lost can be found again."

*Leaning in Misty's pulse races even more as her lips touch Carson's. In that moment it felt like she just wanted to melt, she had missed it, she had missed him....his kiss like honey on her lips, like water to a thirsty one. Bringing her one hand to the back of his head Misty runs her hand through his hair letting the kiss linger, not wanting to stop craving more of his sweet kiss.*

Please...

Carson is on his way back to Scott when he suddenly feels Misty's touch to his arm. Startled, he stops and turns, just looking down into her eyes. He hadn't planned on being this close, but he didn't back away.

As she takes his hand, he wants to close his fingers around hers, but he resists, not sure what she's doing. But as he feels the coolness of the locket in his palm, he realizes that she's giving it back.

Her voice hits his ears like a soothing song, but her words strike a chord in his heart that he didn't like. He had already made up his mind... he had already decided about this... he had already acted on what he thought she wanted. But that voice... that touch... those eyes... it turned his insides to mush all over again.

Watching Misty walk away and go back to her desk, Carson stands lamely for a moment, forgetting that he was going to retreat. As if shaking himself from a daze, he glances back to the bed where he sees Scott casually watching.

Scott looks up at him with a bit of question, some curiosity, but no nosiness. It wasn't any of his business, but he did know both of these people, and he did wonder what would happen. It was obvious that they both still had feelings for each other, and it confused Scott, how they could continue resisting each other like that. Or rather why they would. But... when a mistake had been made, like Carson did... trust wasn't easily gained back.

He gives Carson a little shrug. He had no advice, nor would he attempt it.

Carson looks down at the locket in his hand, and fingers it for a moment, popping it open to see the picture of a younger Misty. He had always liked that picture. He hadn't known Misty back then, but the photo captured her life... her spark... the youthfulness that existed in her eyes even now.

Taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly, Carson turns back around. He had come with a purpose. He needed to finish it.

He approaches the desk cautiously, finally standing only a foot or two from Misty again. Looking down at her, he gently reaches out to lay the locket on the desk in front of her. "Sometimes all the memories hold is the realization that the most important thing in the world was lost to one's own foolishness."

Emotions fill Carson's eyes as he speaks, a steadiness regained to his voice, though his dropped shoulders show that his old confidence was not there.

"I can't do it, Misty." He swallows hard. "I just... it hurts too much. All I have are memories of what I lost. And... it's something that I can't ever have back. I can't even be around you... talk to you..."

He hesitates, stuffing his hands back into his jeans pockets. "I didn't just lose my girl... I lost my friend. And there's not even a portion of that that I can gain back. Holding on to the token that was given to me... all it does is remind me what a fool I was. I can't even spend time with you, or get to know you again... and every time I see that locket, it's like being punished all over again. So please..."

His voice is almost a whisper, his eyes locked onto Misty's, staring into her so intensely. "...please don't make me endure that anymore."

close

Sitting on the hood of her car by the beach Katie pulls her legs up to her chest and wraps her arms around herself in an attempt to stay warm. Down by the water front it was diffetly alot colder but this had always been a place of peace to Katie. Was it because of the memories it held she wasnt sure but this is were she felt the most comfortable.

Just stairing out into the darkend endless water Katie's mind moves over many things. The past, the present, what had happend tonight and what would happen. Her own mind never landing on one thing for to long. Inbetween thoughts Katie would check her emotions with Jason's just making sure he was ok...but his door was locked. Not everything to where Katie was in pain but it was locked enough that she felt it. Strange enough it felt empty and lonly. Katie had become use to the emotions and the conversations. Now that they wernt there...it was just strange. Also not knowing if Jason was ok or not bothered Katie enough that she wanted to go check to make sure he was. But she new better than that tonight, no not now. Jason needed wanted his time along he could have it. She wouldnt bother him till he was ready. Time seemed to fly by as Katie sat and before she new it, it was 1am and she was frozen to the bone. Standing she knows home is her next destination even though tonight sleep would not be her friend.

Some like morning, and some like night. There are those who wish to stay in the darkness forever because the find shelter from the eyes that lay judge on them and than there are the ones who bask in the sun and let it shine on there face so they can show those who need hope how to live. Night and Day, Good and Bad, Peace or Confustion one can not live with the other and so life moves on.

Morning had offered a new day and though she hadnt slept to well Wendy felt slightly better than she did yesterday. News had spread around the ranch like a wild fire but most of it for good reason as to make sure to keep an eye on Wendy and not as her to do to much. The ranch was like a close nit family and everyone looked out for everyone.

Given the day off from doing chores Wendy steps out of the house with her paints and easle in hand. She felt like painting...not many days would be left where it was the right kind of weather to pain outside not to mention soon she wouldnt be able to inhail the fumes from the paint.

Picking a nice spot infront of one of the barns Wendy faces twords the road. The way the colors of the trees that lined the driveway it looks almost like a painting in itself. It would make a nice painting and if anyone happend to come to the ranch she would be the first to know. It felt lonly knowing Clint wasnt there. Knowing that when she went to the shop to work he wouldnt be there, it was hard to think about but Wendy only hoped he would be back soon. Yet the fear that maybe he wouldnt be back loomed. Than what would she do?!

Slowly removing her finger from the intercomb button Misty just sits stairing at the intercomb. Over hearing Carson talking to Austin leaves her stunned. Misty's mind reels as she replays everything that was said. A part of her wanted to cry out, and another part wasnted to yell for joy. If Carson had wanted to prove he's changed he just had. A new feeling emerges inside Misty one she cant explain.

As Carson comes to the infermary next Misty looks up at him quickly just watching him for a moment till finally she jerks her head back down to look at her desk and not stair. As she pretended to work she could feel Carson's eyes on her.

Looking up when Carson walked over and gave his greeting Misty trys her best to push out a smile. Looking into his blue eyes, hearing his voice....she can feel her heart start to race.

"Hi."

Was all she could manage to say as she choked on the rest of her words. Listing to Carson it felt like Misty's heart was breaking all over again, feeling the locket and letting it catch her eyes it felt like everything she had worked in the last month to get over was being thrown at her feet again.

Watching Carson turn to leave Misty gets the suddin feeling she dosnt want him to go. Why now she is not sure, she could tell he had changed but it was something something told her not to let him leave not yet.

Standing and stepping forward Misty reaches out and touchs Carson arm. For a moment it was almost like getting shocket Misty could feel the spark. Turning so she was now infront of him Misty looks up into Carson's blue eyes ans she hand moves down Carson's arm and finds his hand. Taking it so his palm was up Misty takes her other that held the locket and puts it on top of his opening her fingers so the locket would fall into his own once again. Misty's eyes locked with Carson her voice quivers just a little as she speaks.

"Never throw away that which has been given to you. Sometimes holding on to the small things could be the best memorie we have. It helps us remember."

Finally breaking her gaze from his she relizes just how close to him she was and she takes a step back. Looking back up on last time before retreating once again to her desk.

Feelings... Circumstances... Change

Jason heads towards home, ignoring the silent conversation that had been left basically hanging. He was hurt, he was tired, and he couldn't even think straight. Somewhere he knew he'd been wrong to snap at Katie, but right now he was too upset to make it right.

Getting home, things didn't improve much. His emotional state sent his sugar levels spiraling, leaving him with the option to eat and drink something or take another pill, but the pills were at work. But once he'd eaten supper, the vicious cycle started all over again, making him sick. After an hour or two, the best he could manage was keeping down a little bit of orange juice, but that was it. Anything else resulted in a race to the bathroom where it all came up again.

Trying to sleep was a whole different story, leading to frustrated attempts, or nightmares when he finally could relax enough to sleep. By midnight, he felt as though he'd been run over by a truck. It was nights like these that he hated this thing they called a "gift." It was torment, is what it was, and there was no way to stop it. Well...there was... but he wasn't going to call on Katie this time.

The night was too long, filled with tossing, turning, and dreams that mostly revolved around memories of prison... The fights, the anger, the fear, the murders. Each memory was twisted and turned into something even more horrific. Around three a.m. he wakes up screaming, too late realizing that he'd just sent his clock radio into oblivion in a shower of sparks. Drenched in sweat, he finishes out the night on the living room couch instead. The only control he had was keeping the emotional door to communication locked, while letting his misery feed him.


Morning always follows the night. And though we know it, sometimes we still fight it. For the new day brings things which we cannot predict. It brings things that perhaps we might fear. It is the unknown that we don't wish to meet, and so we hold the night close, wrapped in the moonlight, and hoping for the miracle of a continuing night. But that hope is not powerful enough to stop the sun.


"Did you try calling him again?"

Jim sits at the table in their little house and nods, sipping on his hot cup of morning coffee. "Yeah." He looks up at his wife as she prepares breakfast for just them and Rosalyn who was out helping with chores.

"Nothing?" Becky frowns with worry.

"Nothing." Jim sighs and stares down at his coffee. "I've tried calling him about ten times now, and even left him some messages on his voice mail, but he hasn't picked up."

Becky turns back to the eggs that were sizzling on the stove. They were both worried about their son. No one had heard from Clint since yesterday, and no one knew where he was. They had even tried calling some of his other friends from town, but no one had seen him, or if they had, they weren't saying so. "What are we going to do?"

Jim is silent for a moment. He felt much of this was his fault. He wouldn't have taken back the words he said... He would never say Clint had been right, or that he had made a good decision with Wendy. He would always say that the choice had been wrong. But he probably could have used a quieter tone to counsel, not chew out. And now... he was gone, and they could only hope he would return for his own sake, and for Wendy's too. "I don't know. Pray. Wait."

Becky leaves the stove to come over, bending a little to put an arm around Jim's shoulders. "I'm sure it will all work out... I'm sure..." She only wish she were really as confident as her words implied.


Jason stands under the hot running water of the shower, wishing that all his frustrations could head down the drain like everything else. Without much sleep, and no good sleep, he hadn't wanted to get up this morning. But somehow the day had to go on. He wasn't quite as angry, but misery had settled over him. There were just so many more things now than just Scott. There were so many unanswered questions, some of which even made him question his own worth. How many lies had Austin fed him? And when had it started? Was it just within this last year that things had changed, or had it started before that? How much of what Austin had said was true? How much of the way he'd treated Jason had been real? Had Austin wanted him at TJY because he really was that good, or just to give him something to manipulate and use?

Leaning back against the shower wall, Jason doesn't care if he's wasting water or not. It was the only thing that felt good right now. He had to collect his thoughts... he had to stay alert, but get a handle on his emotions. He was hurt... so very deeply hurt by his grandfather. But letting it get out of control had already led to nothing but more misery. If he wanted to get through this with strength, and come out on the winning side, he needed to not care. He needed to put off dealing with this until later on when this whole thing with Scott was over, and until later on when things at TJY were more focused. Otherwise, he would just be letting his personal feelings get in the way of their mission.

Their mission... Jason reflects for a moment on the evening before, and when he'd left the police station. He'd been so mad at everything, and even at Katie. He still didn't understand how she could walk away from TJY. If no one stayed to stand up to Austin, what was the point? Austin could make a mess of TJY and make the agents miserable with his rules and regulations, but if everyone quit, where did that leave all the innocent people they'd sworn to protect?

Jason knew Katie had just been frustrated with the whole thing, but still... For a moment he had felt almost abandoned on their mission. And now... this morning.... he really didn't want to talk about it. He wasn't sure what made him feel worse... what Katie had said, or how he had reacted.

Though allowing a communication conduit to be open, he still kept half his emotions locked away. They were his and until he figured out what they were and how to deal with them, he didn't want to share them. The only bad thing was that while he kept them bottled up, they would continue to affect him physically.

Finally finishing his shower, he goes to get dressed. He wasn't sure what he was doing today, other than going to check on Scott, but he knew he couldn't just sit around here all day.


“I’d like for him to see somebody. A counselor or something.” Rick stands across from Reese in the breakroom, talking about Scott. “Physically, he’s healing up. This morning his vitals were good even though he had a rough night. He’s not eating very well, but if we can conquer that, hopefully he’ll gain back some weight. Otherwise, it’s just cuts and bruises that are diminishing.”

“But it’s his mind you’re worried about?”

Rick nods. “Yeah. I mean, I think it's his mental state that's hindering his appetite, so it all hangs together. I think if he just had some help working through some of the stuff he experienced, it would do him good. Not to mention his nightmares, and being afraid of his own shadow.”

Reese sighs deeply. “I was afraid of that. We got some agents here who could handle experiencing anything. But I don’t think Scott’s wired that way. Not a day goes by that I don’t kick myself for letting himself go on that mission.” He shakes his head. “If only I would have known it was the Agency.”

“It wasn’t.”

“What do you mean?”

Rick shrugs and leans back against the counter. “I know you told Scott to write up a report whenever he felt ready, but I’ve heard quite a bit from him, when he's been willing to talk. He said he lost his eyesight in his left eye from shrapnel from the explosion, not from Agency brutality. And he said it was a big coincidence that the Agency picked him up. I guess they were watching us, spying on the mission, then found him after the explosion. I still don’t know how Scott got out of there alive - he has yet to tell about that, but apparently the Agency simply took advantage.”

Reese shakes his head again. “He got a double-whammy. First the mission, then the Agency. If only…”

“If only,” Rick agrees. “But we can’t go back. All we can do now is help him get back on his feet. Think TJY can fund his counseling?”

“Yeah. You’ll just have to put it through Austin, per regulations, to get the go-ahead. Then we can find him somewhere to go.”

“Alright. Thanks, Reese.”

“Yeah, sure.” Reese watches Rick head to Austin's office, and just stands alone for several minutes before trying to get back to work.


Jason pulls on his jeans and a t-shirt, not bothering to comb his wet hair. Trudging to the kitchen, he knows he should at least try to get something in his stomach this morning. He wasn't quite as upset, so it was worth a try. Maybe something mellow like applesauce would be best.

Wandering around the kitchen, he absentmindedly picks up the phone and dials Reese's direct number. Finding out what was up today at TJY might be a good thing before he decided to drop in. Perhaps he'd even know Austin's schedule. As far as Jason was concerned, until this thing was over, he didn't mind avoiding his grandfather like the plague. As far as him meeting Katie there, or working with her today... obviously that was still up in the air.


“…so I just need your approval to go ahead and find somewhere for Scott to go. I’m confident that if he could talk to someone, that he would have a much better mental recovery.”

Austin looks up at Rick from his desk and shrugs. “Well, if you think it’s best for him, then I can’t argue. Can he afford it?”

Rick lifts his eyebrows. “I…assumed that TJY would be funding this.”

“Well we can’t afford it,” Austin states matter-of-factly.

“But…we have to. I mean… it was a TJY mission that Scott was hurt on.”

“I know that. But we’re not talking about his physical condition. You said yourself that he’s healing. I believe that’s where TJY’s obligation stops.”

Rick looks at Austin, stunned. “How can you say that? Scott is one of our own men! How can you deny him this?”

“Well I’m sorry, Rick! I just don’t think it should go under TJY’s expenses. He’s not even employed here anymore.”

“What?!” Rick’s eyes get even wider. He knew that had been a possibility, but it sounded now like it was set in stone. “How can you be doing this, Austin? First you terrify what was left of him, you leave him to suffer alone, then on top of that you even deny him help!”

“Look, protocol is…”

“Hang the protocol! Scott is one of our own! I don’t care if he’s not on the staff list anymore. I don’t care if TJY isn’t “required” to help him further. What happened to doing what’s right?” Rick’s voice starts to raise. “Scott doesn’t have a penny to his name, and his sister can’t afford this. It’s up to TJY.”

“I’m sorry.” Austin remains quiet and firm. “I will not approve funding.”

Rick opens his mouth to say more, but is too angry. At this point, he knew that if he said something to upset Austin, his job could be on the line. Gritting his teeth, he spins on his heel and stalks out, going through Reese’s office.

Reese looks up to watch Rick leave, having heard the whole conversation. His own blood boiled. This was utterly uncalled for, not to mention heartless. He’s just about to rise and walk into the office himself when his phone rings. Sighing, he answers it.


Jason kickes the refrigerator door shut, hearing Reese answer the phone. "Reese, it's Jason. Yeah... Hmm? No... just wanted to check in. Thought I'd swing by to see Scott. What? Yeah, well... we're working on something. Kind of. Best you don't know in case Austin questions you. ...uh-huh... No, but there might be more later."

He pauses, grabbing a spoon from a drawer, still listening. "Yeah, ok. So any change with Scott? ...Austin.... what... He did what?!" The news of Austin refusing to get Scott help sent Jason's emotions reeling all over again. What would his grandfather come up with next? How heartless could he really be?!

Catching himself, he caps off his anger once again. This was his own battle. But it had been released just long enough that he wondered if Katie now knew what he did. “I can’t believe this.”

He groans and leans against the counter, listening to Reese again. “Just gets better and better, doesn’t it. No… of course not. No, I won’t do anything stupid, but I’m not promising I won’t do anything. Naw. Alright. Thanks. Yeah, I might see you later.”

Jason hangs up, starting to pace. This was ridiculous. Utterly ridiculous. How could Austin refuse to help Scott? It was cruel! He'd been downright mean to interrogate him, now he was refusing to even show an ounce of mercy! What was he thinking?! And why?!

Setting his hands on the counter, Jason tries to stay in control. His negative emotions had already done a number on him, but there was no way to release them unless he wanted to start breaking things. He could throw them in Katie's direction, but at this point, he didn't even want to do that. She'd tell him to, and she'd tell him he needed it, and she'd tell him that it was unhealthy to keep it in... but in his mental state, he'd probably just end up causing more harm than good. Not to mention, he'd like to make up his own mind about it. He hadn't even talked to her at all yet today, and not only did that feel strange, but he wouldn't want to start out with just giving her a dose of his anger. He might be upset with her, but he wasn't going to lash out for no reason.

He was miserable. Plain and simple. He hadn't slept well, he wasn't feeling well, and he felt alone. Every moment, it seemed, the past would sneak up on him again. Thinking about Austin just send his mind in too many directions at once to handle.

Deciding he just needed to get out of the house, Jason grabs his jacket and aims for the door, forgetting about breakfast. But just as he reaches it, his phone rings. He was tempted to just walk out and let the answering machine get it, but he thinks better of it, and picks it up. It might be Reese again. “Yeah, hello?” He’s caught a little by surprise. “Hi. What, um… what’s the occasion?” He frowns, confused. “Um, sure…I think so. Alright. Yeah. Meet you in…. fifteen minutes? Uh… I don’t know. Downtown. Little restaurant on Main. Mom and Pop’s. Yeah. Alright. Bye.”

Jason grabs his keys and heads outside once again. Getting to his truck, slight worry surfaces. Something felt odd. Why did the caller want to meet him? It was very unusual. But…he was game to find out what this was all about.


The bell to Mom and Pop’s rings, and Carson looks out from the kitchen. It was a young man he’d never seen before. Something about him was familiar somehow, but not enough to make Carson pay much attention. He stays where he is, fixing several breakfast items.

When the bell rings again though, his eyes go back to the front, spotting Jason. Casually watching, he sees Jason join up with the stranger and they sit together, talking. Their greeting was fairly cordial… Carson would imagine they were fair acquaintances maybe.

Seeing that Aerith was taking care of them, Carson concentrates back on his work, ignoring his imagination.

The bell rings again. It had been about forty-five minutes, and the morning customers were slowing down. Carson glances out from the kitchen once more, seeing Jason’s friend leave. But Jason remained, seeming to have a lot on his mind. The meeting had been a quiet one without much excitement and very few smiles. It hadn’t seemed too tense, but the look on Jason’s face now wasn’t one of pleasure at seeing an old friend.

Carson checks what's on the stove then wipes off the counter before meandering out to the tables, curious at the depression in Jason's eyes. He didn't normally approach anyone from TJY... but for some reason today, he did.

"Hey, Jason."

Jason looks up from his half-empty glass of pop, and lifts an eyebrow. He wasn't used to Carson initiating a conversation. "Hey."

Carson cocks his head. "You don't look so hot, mate. Everything alright?"

"Yeah...yeah." Jason forces half a smile. "Just life, ya know?"

"Do I ever." Carson rolls his eyes. When Jason doesn't offer any more small talk, Carson hooks his hands in his pockets casually, just standing for a moment. As usual, when seeing someone from TJY, a bit of sadness surfaces from the past, and part of him missed seeing all his old friends. "Where's your sidekick?"

Jason quirks an eyebrow. "You mean Katie?"

"Yeah."

Jason looks down and sighs. Since he'd left his house, he'd blocked out almost everything from her for several reasons that he felt were legit, but it didn't feel very good. His whole stystem was out of whack because of their strain between each other, and he was tired. "I don't know."

Carson leans on the side of the opposite booth. "Problems?"

"I yelled at her," Jason admits. "Well... sort of. I don't know. I just... it's a long story."

"Just don't wait too long to get it worked out, eh?" Carson pauses, thinking about himself. "Sometimes that method doesn't work too well."

Jason looks back up at him, knowing good and well he was refering to Misty. "Yeah... you got yourself a girl now though, don't you?"

"Um..." Carson hesitates. "I guess I do."

Now it's Jason's turn to be curious. "You guess?"

Carson cracks a wry grin. "Another one of those long stories." He pauses, trying to change subjects. "I, um... was thinking about Scott earlier. How's he doing?"

"Ha!" Jason's sarcasm shows on his face. "He's hanging in there. It's our boss who's got a screw loose."

Carson's eyebrows raise. "Oh?"

Jason's eyes narrow, his irritation and anger resurfacing. "Yeah. Austin... you never met him. He's Carter's son."

"Your grandfather?"

"If you like." Jason grits his teeth. "He's back from Texas and is basically taking over with Carter's blessing. He's calling the shots, reorganizing things, and basically messing with things he shouldn't be."

"Ouch."

"Yeah, ouch." Jason rolls his eyes. "Not only did he not want us to even go on that rescue mission for Scott, but now he's saying that TJY isn't even responsible for helping him out."

Carson starts to frown. "What do you mean?"

"Rick recommended Scott get some counseling or something. Scott's just not handling things well. But Austin said TJY wasn't responsible. Thing is, Scott or his family can't afford bills like that. So he's left without the help he needs."

Carson can feel his own muscles tense. "You're saying that Austin is refusing psychiatric help for Scott?"

"That's exactly what I'm saying." Jason looks up at Carson, all his annoyance, anger, and irritation showing through. "Rick said he thought legally TJY would be responsible, but apparently Austin knew of a loophole, and apparently he thinks TJY's money could be better spent somewhere else. He said Scott would be just fine and that a shrink was a waste of time."

"What do you think?"

Jason shrugs. "For me? Counselors never helped me much. But that's just 'cause I got a weird way of handling things. I work through them on my own, and I can handle whatever happens. Scott..." He shakes his head slowly. "He's just not wired that way. He can't handle what's going on in his mind, but he's refusing to talk about it. He's having nightmares...the whole nine yards. I think that..." He pauses, weighing the options. "...he needs more help than we can give him."

Carson's mind starts to work overtime. He agreed. He knew exactly what Scott had gone through, and someone as unconditioned as he had been could really get messed up badly. "So that's it? TJY is just gonna let it go and hope he pulls out halfway decently?"

"Apparently. Though I think anyone else on staff other than Austin and Carter would disagree with their decision. Not to mention, people are getting up in arms, because on top of all this, Austin sacked Scott."

A strange anger starts to burn within Carson. Scott was one of the most innocent people at TJY. To think that someone didn't care about his mental health... his wellbeing... it wasn't right. Then to fire him too. It was a perfect example of kicking someone when they were down.

Turning around, he starts back to the kitchen, untying his apron, and talking over his shoulder. "You heading to TJY?"

Jason looks after him in surprise, and calls after him. "Later maybe. Why?"

"I wanted a ride."

Jason is a bit confused, but shrugs. "I guess I can go see Scott now, so you're more than welcome."

Carson slips back into the kitchen, hangs up his apron, and glances around for Herb. "Stepping out for a minute," he informs. "I'll trade this for my break later. I got something I need to do."

Exiting again, he heads to his room to grab his baseball cap and wallet. As he does, he eyes the little box under his bed. He was going to TJY...

Sighing, he reaches down, opens the box and pulls out the small item. Maybe it was time. Feeling a wave of melancholy, he swallows the lump in this throat and stuffs the item in his pocket. It was time, whether he liked it or not. The lines had been drawn and he needed to accept it.

Joining up with Jason near the front door, he follows him out, catching a ride to TJY.

Back at TJY and onto the main floor, Jason heads towards the hallway, looking at Carson with a bit of caution after their conversation on the way. "You sure you want to do this?"

"I'm sure." Carson glances in the other direction. "Through Reese's office?"

"Yeah, but..."

"Thanks." Carson doesn't wait for anymore from Jason, and walks boldly towards the back offices. Passing people he knew on his way, he simply offers a few nods. He'd planned on not being seen here on account of Misty, but today was different. Today he had a different purpose.

Jason looks after him and sighs a little, then heads to his own office. He shouldn't be here, but anyone had a right to at least see Scott. Getting to the infirmary, he finds Scott quiet but awake, not much different than the evening before. The exchange is brief, and Jason finds himself cautiously going to his office to check his email while he was here, then he would head out. The guys were having practice out at Mike's tonight, maybe he should just stay home until then.

Slipping into his office and shutting the door, one wouldn't even know he was there. But as he sits down in his chair, the one thing that crosses his mind is Katie. She'd know he was there. The longer the day went on, the worse he felt. He was sorry he'd snapped at her, but he was still upset about what she'd said. He didn't really feel like talking about it, but then again, if he was going to wind up alone in this thing, he should probably know about it.

Sighing, he flips on his computer. If Katie wanted to talk to him, she could... He wouldn't block her out, though his top emotion at the moment was irritation and she might not want to approach it anyway. He just needed to check his email, then get out of here fast before Austin saw him. It just felt strange without Katie here, whether he liked to admit it or not.


"Hey, Susanne."

Susanne looks up and a smile spreads across her face. "Well, Carson... it's been a while."

"Yeah." Carson offers a smile in return. "Looking for the boss today."

"Reese?"

"Austin."

Susanne quirks an eyebrow. "Well...he's in, as far as I know. You'll have to go through Reese's office."

"Alright. Thanks." Carson goes to knock on Reese's door and after hearing his voice, enters.

Reese glances at him in surprise. "Good afternoon, Carson. What can I do for you?"

"Let me see Austin?"

"Something wrong?"

"Yeah, actually." Carson crosses his arms. "I just had a short chat with Jason."

"About...?"

"Scott."

"And?"

"I want to see Austin."

Reese wasn't quite sure exactly what Carson wanted, but he figured it couldn't hurt. It really wasn't any of his business if a civilian wanted to see the man in charge. "Alright. He's in through that door."

Carson gives a nod of thanks, and in just a few moments, finds himself standing in front of Austin's desk, looking down at the man who he'd never met, but would have known in a crowd. Jason did look like his grandfather, no doubt. "Austin?"

"Yes?" Austin looks up with suspicion. "Can I help you?"

"It's not me who needs the help."

Austin catches the light accent in Carson's voice, and after a moment of thinking, realizes who this is. "Carson... Carson Banks?"

"That's right."

"Well, what's the problem?"

"The problem is that man you've got who needs help you're not willing to give."

Austin's defenses rise, though he remains seated. "I don't think I know what you're talking about."

"I'm talking about a man who risked his life, and has more guts than most people here, but is bound to mental torment without the aid of someone who could help him." Carson steps forward, leaning down slightly to rest his palms on Austin's desk, getting closer to the man that drove his anger. "Whether you are legally obligated or not, let me tell you something. Scott Johnson needs help. You're not stupid, Austin. You played the Agency game. But in case you've forgotten, let me remind you of a few things. They don't treat their prisoners well. They torture them. And how would I know? Because I was one of them."

Carson's voice remains on an even keel, though is etched with anger. "I bet I could lay out everything that happened to Scott in there, without even talking to him. They beat him. They beat him with their hands, and they beat him with blunt objects. They toyed with his mind and made him feel worthless, useless and weak. They told him lies about his friends, convincing him that people had died. They threatened to hurt those he loved most if he didn't cooperate. They showed him pictures of what happens to people who don't do what they want. They probably even brought in another prisoner to be beaten to death in front of him as an example. If they had a useless prisoner on board, I guarantee you that Scott saw them murdered. They gave him just enough food to survive, but not enough to nourish. They threw him in a hard, cold cell with rats to keep him company. They injected him with a formula created to induce such severe pain throughout the body that one would wish themselves dead. They interrogated him over and over and over again until his mind was mush. They stripped him of all his pride and dignity, leaving a sick, starved, shell of a man to die. And if his carcass stank, they'd throw it out."

By now, Carson is leaning further down across Austin's desk, his eyes narrow and blazing. "But luckily you had a few good agents working for you that weren't going to let him die. And he's been given a second chance at life. Can you really live with knowing that you are refusing to help a man that went through all that for your company? It was TJY's fault that he was taken, and it's TJY's responsibility to help him now. You're just lucky that you don't have a suicidal timebomb on your hands after what he went through."

Austin stares up at Carson, his face paled slightly, having been unable to get a word in edgewise. He knew what Carson said was true. He knew Carson had been there, and if anyone knew the most about this, it was Carson. He opens his mouth, but Carson cuts him off again.

"I don't want any reasons or excuses, because there aren't any. To think that you would refuse Scott help is despicable. And if I find out that you have not changed your mind, so help me, I'll put you through a torture that you'll never forget, then maybe you can relate to how he's feeling."

Austin's stare turns into a glare. "Are you threatening me?"

"Take it however you want. But I'm not lying. I don't have any best friends around here, and I was never close to Scott. But just knowing that he survived the Agency, and hasn't killed himself since he got back tells me that he's a man worth saving. How dare you even consider letting him fall between the cracks."

Carson straightens back up and steps toward the door again. "Now I've said my piece. Do what you want, but think about it first."

Not wanting to hear any argument, Carson slips out of Austin's office and shuts the door before anything else can be said.

Reese is sitting at his desk, his eyes wide. He had heard the whole thing.

Carson glances at him. "What?"

A grin quirks the corner of Reese's mouth. "I'm sorry we ever lost you, Carson."

That comment takes Carson by surprise and he stops for just a moment. "I'm sorry too. See you later, Reese."

"Yeah... later." Reese watches Carson leave, a bit of sadness hitting him. He hadn't liked letting Carson go in the first place... but at the time, it had been the right thing to do. Sighing, Reese tries to get back to work, wondering if Austin would change his mind now, but too put out to ask.

Carson makes his way back across the main floor, aiming for the infirmary. His pulse quickens just a little bit, even though he tries to ignore the growing feeling in his gut. He was going to see Scott. He wanted to. He was here, so he at least could be decent enough to stop in.

Making it to the open door, he pauses a moment, then enters, rapping a knuckle on the doorframe.

Scott is sitting on top of the bed, playing a game of solitaire and looking as bored as he felt. Hearing someone at the door, but not having been able to see the movement, his head jerks up and he looks quickly. Seeing Carson, he stares at him with question. Why was he here?

Carson offers a small grin and approaches. He sees Misty nearby at her desk, but ignores her presence for now. "Hey, Scott. How you doing?"

Scott shrugs and looks back down at the game he was losing. "Ask Rick and he'll tell you not so great. Ask me and I'll tell you good enough to want to get out of here."

Carson chuckles. "Yeah, Rick can be a stick in the mud, can't he?"

Rick looks up from his work at the counter, throwing Carson a smirk. "I heard that."

"Good." Carson tosses him a wink before looking back down at Scott. "Who's winning?"

"The bed." Scott tosses his handful of cards aside.

"Now hang on." Carson spots a way to keep the game going and points it out. "You give up too fast."

Moving the cards around, Scott picks up the game again. "That's probably what everybody else is thinking right about now too."

"Don't second guess what people are thinking," Carson advises gently. He sighs and finally lets his eyes roam to Misty's part of the room.

Scott looks up and follows his gaze for a second, then looks back at him.

Carson catches his eye, realizing that a lot is being said here without words. Scott knew about the tension and was wondering about his next move. But what was his next move? His hand reaches into his pocket, fingering the small object.

Scott quirks an eyebrow, questioning Carson's hesitance. "That bad, huh?"

Carson thinks for a moment, then shrugs lamely. "I don't know anymore." Giving another little sigh, he finally moves around the bed to slowly walk to Misty's desk. Looking down at her, he does his best not to maker her uncomfortable. The last meeting had been bad enough and he didn't want a repeat. "Hi, Misty."

He clears his throat awkwardly. "I, um... I don't want to bother you. But... I just... I found..."

Pulling his hand out of his pocket, he reveals the locket she had given him what seemed like so long ago. "I figure that, um... since... well... you know... I should give his back."

Reaching down, Carson takes Misty's hand palm-up and lets the locket fall into it. Closing her fingers over it, for a moment, he doesn't want to let go. If he did, he was closing the door that was still propped open in his heart. If he did, he was letting his feelings become a memory. If he did, he was denying what he most wanted. But it was what she wanted... and he needed to respect that.

Finally he lets go, letting his own hands fall back to his sides. "So... I'll... let you get back to work." He turns around to aim at Scott once more before he left, planning on leaving TJY on foot.