Punishment

"No, I can't try." Trent groans and throws himself against the fence, his arms over the top rail. A startled horse looks at him quickly, sniffing his hand. He scratches its cheek, fighting his emotions. "I don't... it's... it was a long time ago."

Glancing over his shoulder, he catches his sister's eye. "You know, I was always the one in trouble when it came to the Hensons and Pents. Oh, Sparky got in a few scrapes, but me, I was the one who couldn't say no. The rest of you were so good at staying on track... you always made the right choices... you all were always the ones with pure motives and would never make the stupid moves I did."

He sighs deeply, finally at a point where he was willing to talk about it. "Years ago, I had a woman I was seeing. None of you knew about her because... well... would you like to have come back to the gang and introduced the girl you were sleeping around with?" He shakes his head. "I was too stupid to say no to myself or to Grace, and too smart to let the rest of you know about it." Something close to a smile quirks the corner of his mouth. "Shocked?"

Pausing a moment, he looks back to the horse, stroking its face again. "Wasn't too long before Grace was gonna have the baby. But I couldn't say anything... I couldn't just walk in and say, 'Hey, guys, I'm a daddy. By the way, no, I'm not married to the mother.' That would have gone really well." The sarcasm is evident in his voice.

"None of you would have approved. As you shouldn't have. It was me at fault, not anybody else. I knew I'd get a talking to from you, Mick, Wes... anybody with brains." Trent's eyes are filled with a sadness. "I was the one with lower standards... I knew I'd never make it into the circle with the rest of you."

Taking a deep breath, it's several long moments before he goes on. "So... Jasmine was born." His face almost smiles. "It was a down time with the gang, so I was able to be there. She was the prettiest baby..." He chuckles. "Blue eyes and a head of Pent red hair. And I got to hold her." Trent's mind is so far away as he speaks.

"It wasn't long enough. She was only a month or two old and Grace was in a car accident. The Agency had instigated the accident, planning to take both hostage. But Grace died instead. They took Jasmine... and they blackmailed me."

Now that he was spilling all the details, he didn't have much choice but to just keep going. Tears fill his eyes and he looks away, trying to maintain composure. "I didn't want to help the Agency... but they said I'd never see Jasmine again. I still couldn't tell you guys about it so... I did what they wanted... for years. That's... that's why I was involved with them in the first place. I never wanted to hurt my family, least of all you. I tried to get out once, but they said they'd kill Jasmine. One more year, they said, then I could take her and go. But..."

Trent shrugs lamely. "I eventually went to prison instead. Word got to me that Jasmine had died. She would have been about twelve. They said she got sick. So... I gave up. I hadn't seen her since she was a baby - they let me have a picture once when she was about six. But that's all I ever had. And then... when it was all over and I came here... there was no point in bringing all this up. I'd still made bad decisions... first, I shouldn't have been involved like that with Grace. Second, I shouldn't have let the Agency pull me in. I figured living with my secrets was my punishment."