Driver

Bret isn’t surprised about Charlotte’s questioning, though he’d hoped it wouldn’t happen.

Looking down, he rubs his thumb on her hand… Her skin was so soft compared to his… so warm.

It takes him several minutes to finally give a little sigh, and shake his head. Glancing at Charlotte again, he moves to put his arm around her and draw her close, resting her head on his chest. Burying his face in her hair for a moment, he takes a deep breath, just wishing life were easier.

He knows Charlotte’s waiting for an answer…and he knows that it must look awfully strange that he isn’t offering one right away. But he just didn’t know what to say. He could come up with an excuse easy. He’d done it before. He could come up with an excuse anytime for anything. But there was just something about Charlotte that made it harder with her. He could lie to a lot of people… but the thought of lying to her…he wasn’t sure he could do it.

But this whole thing… it was just a part of things he’d never told Charlotte before. There was a lot about him she didn’t know… a lot of things that hurt when he thought about them, but that perhaps he should tell her before any of it came up down the road and ruined anything.

Finally Bret lets her go and sits up straight again, but his eyes remain down. His fingers lace through hers for courage. “You know…” His voice is low, and there’s more emotion in it than normal. “…Soon as I was out of highschool, I was already doing some weekend racing at a local track. I was the youngest, but the best. I could make a car do anything.” A slight smile breaks through before seriousness returns. “I’d been with it a few years though, when I got mad at my partner for cutting me off, and after the race I lost my temper. Threw my weight around too much and I got banned from the circuit. It, uh…well, the track was actually where I’d met Maria. She kept going with me even after that whole fiasco…”

He pauses again, reflecting. “…I loved her. But…we had our problems. I think she loved me too, but I guess it just wasn’t meant to be. There were too many difference between us. We got along real good, then a while after we were married, we started fighting all the time about stupid stuff. I got mad…I started doing stupid stuff out of spite. I don’t know…”

He shrugs, not liking this topic, but wanting to share out of respect. “Anyway…I started hanging out with my old buddies from the track…but they had ideas for fun that weren’t exactly in line with the law.”

Bret thinks for a moment, then leans over to the table to pick up the license plates and look at them. “We got this bright idea to get some quick cash. There was a bank in town that only had one security guard. I was still a good driver, so…I was picked to drive the getaway car.”

He runs his thumb over the edge of one of the plates. “We’d switch out plates on the car so no one could report us… we’d get there…two of the guys would go in with guns, I’d wait, and soon as they got back in, we’d take off. Even if we had cops tailing us, I was good enough that we’d lose ‘em. Worked good for a while…but one time we got caught.”

Bret sets the plates back down on the table, and lets go of Charlotte’s hand to stand up, pacing just a little. “I was the only one ending up in jail though…the guys bailed on me. But…it gave me prime opportunity to squeal on them to save my own hide. So I did. Because I gave up all the information the law wanted, I was set free with a bazillion and one warnings. Got my license taken away for a year, had to pay fines, and had to do some community service. Though I guess it was better than being behind bars like the other guys.”

Turning around, he’s brave enough to look at Charlotte again. “Thing was…that was the out that Maria had been looking for, and a couple weeks later, she was gone and I was getting served papers. Divorce court was messy…I ended up with my car and house and that was about it.”

Bret’s eyes eventually look down again, proving that he’d had feelings there once, and that despite arguments, there had been love there for Maria.

“It was over after that. I skipped around…wound up with Titan, and the rest his history. …Until a few weeks back.” He stops, biting the inside of his lip. Charlotte respected the law, and something like this would not only disappoint her, but she might tell others too. Him talking now was as good as him turning down his buddies. Was it worth it?

“I started getting bugged. My buddies are back, and they’ve planned a series of heists. They don’t have a good enough driver, so they’ve asked me. And…they say if I don’t do it, they’ll not only smear my name all over for the past, but they’ve threatened worse things…things that could get people hurt. ‘Course, they’re betting on the fact that I still crave driving…which…I do.”

Bret paces some more, not even sure why he was spilling all of this. He hadn’t planned it this way. It was just…he just couldn’t…lying to Charlotte was impossible. Period.

“So…I said yes to them. I said yes, and I know their plans. Well…not all of them. I don’t know where they’re hitting first. But…the first one is tomorrow.”

He walks over to the table and leans down to pick up a plate again. “I go, I get rich and drive one more time. I don’t go, and I risk getting hurt or worse, or someone I care about getting hurt.”

He stares at the plate numbers, the right and wrong playing tug-o-war in his soul. Then his eyes drift to Charlotte again. His gaze was dim. He knew he was wrong. He knew going against the law was wrong, and just as stupid as the first time. But there was more…

“Sometimes I wonder if I hadn’t ever gotten involved in the robberies in the first place, if I would have had a chance at keeping Maria. I don’t know…I don’t know if I would have or not. But…”

Bret’s shoulders drop and he tosses the plate onto the table. Sinking down again next to Charlotte on the couch, his slouched body language portrays surrender. “…but I can’t take that risk again…I just can’t do it.”

He lifts his eyes to meet Charlotte’s. “I don’t know why you mean so much to me, Charlotte. Ever since I met you, you just….do something to me that no one else does. You just…give me life… you’ve put meaning back into my life and…and I feel like I can’t even live without it anymore.”

He shakes his head slightly. “Why I even said yes to these guys this time around, I don’t know. But…looking at you now, and telling you all of this…I just can’t go through with it. So tomorrow…they’ll be looking for me. Because I’m not going to show up and be their driver. I can’t…because I don’t want to risk losing you. Unless I already have, just with this information...and if that's the case, tomorrow you'll be gone too.”

Leaning back, he closes his eyes, as if almost thinking if he couldn’t see the turmoil around him, maybe it didn’t really exist. “So there you go…that’s why I have plates in my house.”