Flame

Carson is just a little off guard, meeting Misty at the table with the drinks, and he finds his eyes staring at her for a moment before awkwardly dropping his gaze. "Um...yeah...I mean..I guess we are." This wasn't really his thing...not when he wasn't comfortable associating with the others who were here. Would he ever gain the feeling back that he had friends here?

He forces a slight chuckle. "You know me...find the nearest corner and be the fly on the wall. No walls around here though I guess."

Picking up a new cup of hot chocolate, he turns, but pauses, looking at Misty again. He was having a good time being more than friends with Jess...they got along well and seemed to click pretty well. But when he looked at Misty, there was just...something.... "You look good."

Carson clears his throat and lowers his eyes again. "See you around. Tell, um... tell Nate hi next time you see him." Being fairly quick, he heads back to Jess to resume his seat. After handing her, the hot chocolate, he drapes an arm around her shoulders. "Wouldn't want you to get cold," he teases.

The fun continues around the fire, some people breaking out in song, all the while the gigles land laughing persisting. A while later, one of the men stands up and walks closer to the fire in view of all, and simply puts a finger to his lips. "Shhhhh....."

Amazingly, the still sound brings the noise down around him, until everyone is quit. A hush falls over the site, all eyes on him. He turns, scanning everyone in the circle for a moment. Though having a straight face, his eyes seem to smile. He points to the fire.

"You know...this fire is a good example of what love is, and what love can do. And I'm not talking any ordinary love... I'm talking about a love so great, that it can touch every single life on this planet."

Carson lifts a skeptical eyebrow. That was Tom...Jen had pointed him out earlier. He was a leader in her church. If he was getting at what Carson thought he was getting at, it wasn't worth listening to.

Tom continues. "This fire will engulf anything you put in it. Wood, plastic, even metal if you get it hot enough. If we didn't have a barrier around it, it would spread and engulf this park." He picks up a stick and catches the end on fire. He makes a point of holding it up. "This is about the size of a human's love, or what we perceive as love. We limit it with pride...judgment...maybe greed. So while perfectly capable of loving unconditionally, we put barriers around our hearts. So the human love....it's bright and glowing, and has the potential to grow. But it's about this size."

He tosses the stick into the bonfire. "That...that's God's love. He has no barriers...He has no pride in the way... no conditions... no judgment. His love is pure, enormous enough for everyone, and once you've been touched by it, you'll always remember it."

Tom paces just a little. "And you know...this fire... it will engulf any kind of wood you throw in there. New, old, pine, maple, smooth or knotty. It'll take it all. God's love takes everyone too. God's love is extended to you..." He catches the eyes of several people. "And it's extended to the beggar down the street. It's extended to the guy with the big house and fancy car... and it's extended to the murder behind bars. We put limits on our love...but not God. It doesn't matter who you are or where you've been...you are not out of reach of God's love. His love is not measurable. And our human minds can't even fathom its depths."

Carson can feel his eyes wandering to the ground. He'd heard about God before...he'd been to church a few times as a kid...but for some reason...some unexplainable reason, Tom's words sent a strange surge into his heart. If only he knew the prayers beside him that were being lifted up, maybe he wouldn't be so surprised.

Tom spreads out his arms. "We can try to understand it...we can try to analyze it... some of us may not even want it! But it's there...God's love is always there. Always. It's never a bad time to accept it, and it's never to late, no matter where you've been. How much does God love you? He sent is only Son to die for you...that says something right there. Jesus didn't die just for people like me... He didn't die for preachers, and do-gooders. He died for every single one of us. The rich, the poor, the lost, the seeking... the sports players, the cheerleaders, the teachers, business men and women, cooks, stay-at-home moms... He died for the faithful, for the unfaithful... for the loving, and for those who have never shown love. The happy, the angry... the sad...the children. Jesus died...for you."

Tom pauses, the passion in his words demanding attention. "I don't care who you are or what you've done... if you don't know the love of Christ..the love of God... then you're truly missing out on the most wonderful thing in life. And though it's never too late as long as you're alive... someday... someday the end will be here, and you'll have never allowed yourself to experience that love. See...it's offered...it's there... but you have to accept it. I can stand outside this fire all day long and look at its beauty. But unless I step into it, I'll never experience it."

He looks around at the faces. Some he knew, some he didn't. He didn't know the hearts of those here, or who was or wasn't walking with God. But he could not hold this message back. "What's been holding you back? What are you afraid of? Giving up freedom? What freedom? Are you not a slave to this world? What are you afraid of? Rejection? God rejects no one. Perod. What is keeping you from stepping closer to the flame and reaching out to the One who holds all the answers? What other people think? Pride? Contentment?"

Tom almost laughs. "I don't care who you are... if you don't have Christ in your life, there is a part of you that feels incomplete. There is a part of you that is searching for answers... longing for purpose... longing for focus. Maybe you've been looking in all the wrong places. Bad habits...failed relationships... but you've never known anything else. You've never been shown the way to the answers you need. Well I'm telling you tonight... it's God's love."

He stops again, waiting. "That's all I'll say for now... but if you have questions... if you're searching, please... please come talk to me. I would so dearly love to tell you more."

A smile is on Kyle's face as Tom goes to sit back down, and he finishes off his hot chocolate. The music starts again, and he glances at Misty. He didn't know what she thought of all this... he hadn't gotten as far to talk too much abut it with her, not wanting to pry or push. But he did wonder how this made her feel.

His smile softens. "May I have this dance?"

Carson leans back on the bench, having resented his strange feelings enough to push them out of the way with annoyance. He tosses his empty cup into the trash can behind them, and gives a little sigh. "Prove it there's a God and maybe I'll listen," he mutters. He hadn't really intended on anyone hearing him, but Jen's head snaps around.

Her eyes lock with his, her own so full of a strange mixture of anger and sorrow. Thinking for a moment, she leans the other way to tell Mike something, then starts to wheel forward. "Carson...come with me."

"What?"

"Please...come with me."

Carson quirks an eyebrow, wondering what she was getting at. He shrugs lamely and stands, looking down at Jess. "Be right back I guess."

Jen starts forward, going to the outside edge of the festivities where one could see everyone there. It's dark out here, and chillier. She shivers a little, but doesn't complain. Stopping, she turns to see the group around the fire. Making sure Carson is with her, she points. "See that young woman out there on the edge...the one with the toddler?"

Carson squints, then nods. "Yeah...so?"

"That's Carrie. And that toddler is Mindy. Mindy was born with a condition that doctors said would kill her. They gave her a zero percent chance of survival."

Carson is a little impressed. "What happened?"

"The church prayed for her." Jen doesn't look up, but picks out another person. "See that man there? With the limp?"

"Yeah."

"That's Jake. He limps because he was in a car accident three years ago. His car was completely crushed. There was no way he should have survived. He came away with only a broken leg."

"Wow."

"See that man down there, talking to Mike?"

Carson shrugs. "It's Phil."

"That's right. He almost succeeded at killing himself once. But someone found him just in time."

"I didn't know..."

"That someone got a call that showed Phil's number, and there was no one there. On a whim, they went to check on him." Tears glisten in Jen's eyes. "Phil hadn't called him." She turns her back on the group and points up to the sky where just a few stars were visible. "Count the stars. How many are there?"

Carson stuffs his hands in his pockets and looks up. "There are too many to count."

"Explain life. Explain a baby's birth. Explain a soul that drives someone forward." Jen looks back to Carson, her eyes of courage piercing his own. "Now. Tell me God doesn't exist."

Carson opens his mouth to retort, but what could he say? There were unexplainable things. She'd just proven that. He could feel his defenses rising. "If there was a God, he should have taken me out of the world a long time ago to save the lives of others." He grits his teeth as unexpected emotions hit him hard. "He should have stopped me from killing... torturing... ruining lives. Do you know how many people have suffered at my hands, Jen?" He holds out his hands. "Do you realize how much blood is on these hands? I have done things to people who wished I would have just killed them off. Men...women... it didn't matter."
Hated tears burn the back of his eyes. "Where was their God? Where was God's love when I was doing that to them?"

A tear runs down Jen's face and she reaches up to lay a hand on Carson's arm. Her voice is soft. "God's love was around you, Carson. He didn't let you die because He loved you too much. You have so much potential...you have so much purpose. I don't know why He let other people suffer... but I do know that He kept you alive for a reason. You did do some awful, awful things. But Carson Banks..." Her eyes meet his. "You are not out of God's reach."

In a rare moment, Carson can't hold his stare, and backs down from Jen's eyes. He blinks back his emotions.... emotions that he didn't understand. He'd never felt like this before. It was stupid, but he couldn't deny that something was affecting him. "I can't find the answers," he responds lamely. "I just keep...going around in circles. I don't understand it. I don't know how it works. I don't know where I fit."

Jen reaches into a pocket on her wheelchair and pulls out a leather New Testament, holding it up to him. "Try reading this."

Carson takes, it, but then hesitates. "But this is yours."

Jen shrugs. "I can get another one."

"But I can't..."

"Then it's a loan. Take it, Carson. Read it. If you get through with it, and you still refuse to believe you are loved...if you still insist on looking elsewhere for your answrs... then I'll never bring it up to you again."

"Never, huh?"

"You have my word."

Her confidence was startling, and Carson's fingers tighten around the small book. "You seem to know something I don't."

Jen can't help her smile. "It's all in there."

Axel twirls Taylor around again, after she'd begged him for another round. Losing her to another guy though, he's left without a partner. A young woman is quick on the uptake, tapping his shoulder, and holding out her hands. He gives in, dancing with her for a few minutes too, making their way around the fire. As another man steals her away too, Axel looks down and realizes that he's stopped near Jess. She was alone.

Caution going by way of the smoke, he stretches out his hand, still breathing a little heavily from the activity. He locks eyes with her. "Sometimes it takes dancing near the flame to ignite your own light."