Desperate

Scott stares out at the lake, the wind forming small whitecaps on the water. The cool wind mimicked the coldness he felt had washed over his heart. He’d faced disappointments in life. He’d faced trials. He’d faced hard circumstances. But nothing compared to this feeling. It was despair. It was hurt. It was sorrow in its purist form.

Looking up to the sky, Scott glares at the gray clouds that threatened to rain into the dark evening. No one was around to hear him except the One he was talking to. “Why?!” he shouts. “Why? Did I do something wrong? Did I make such a big mistake that I deserved this punishment? I thought it’s what You wanted! Can I not be allowed this small happiness? Is it so bad to love someone?!”

His hand finds its way into his pocket and he draws out the diamond ring. Gritting his teeth, he looks at the sparkling stone with a knowledge that it would never rest on Katie’s finger again. He had seen that look in her eye, and he knew beyond a doubt that he could spend eternity begging, and she would not come back. This ring was only a sore reminder of that fact.

With a cry of anguish, Scott hurls the ring into oblivion where it’s swallowed by a wave. As it sinks to the bottom of the lake, so too does Scott’s heart.

Standing only a few minutes longer, he turns and trudges back to his car. It was going to be a long drive home. Getting into his car he sees he's missed a call on his phone, but he ignores it. He didn't want to talk to anyone right now.


“…so the guys figured if we did it that way, we might get a better response.” Jason takes another bite of his steak, forcing himself to keep his mind occupied with small talk and chatter with Camryn.

She smiles and takes a sip of her water. “Sounds good. You guys are getting better all the time, you know that?”

Jason shrugs and chuckles. “Yeah, when I can keep my head in the game.”

Camryn laughs. “You do a good job, Jase. Don’t kid yourself. Half the audience is there to see you.”

“Yeah, well they should be there to see the entire band.”

“There’s nothing wrong with being the star.”

Jason rolls his eyes. “Whatever.” His fork is halfway to his mouth, when suddenly an instant of panic hits his system with force. Though lasting only as long as a flash of lightning, it’s enough to jolt him from his thoughts, his fork clattering back down on his plate.

Camryn looks at him with surprise. “You alright?”

Jason stares at the table. What had that been? He puts a hand to his forehead, a slight headache all of a sudden present.

“Hello…” Camryn waves at him.

He barely even hears her as his mind tries to figure out what was happening. As much as he has tried to ignore these feelings, he can’t. He doesn’t even realize that he’s whispering aloud. “No…”

Camryn tilts her head to try and see his eyes. “Jason…what’s wrong?”

He finally jerks his head to look up at her, his eyes pleading for her to understand. This couldn’t be happening now…it couldn’t…but it was. “I…I’m sorry. I’ll be right back.”

Rising from the table, he leaves his napkin behind and heads to the foyer to pull out his cell phone. He’d never been the one to the rescue before, but lately he’d sensed disturbances, proving his connection with Katie had grown stronger. Unlike her though, he had no clue as to what it might be.

Dialing Katie’s phone, he waits until he reaches her voice mail. Sighing, he hangs up. Next, he tries Scott. No answer there either. He rubs his forehead again. “Think, Jason, think.” Was it really something that wrong? Was he misinterpreting this feeling? The more he thought about it, the worse he felt. He couldn’t deny it…something was definitely wrong.

Heading back to the table, he doesn’t sit back down. “Camryn…I’m sorry. I have to go.”

“Why? What’s wrong? What happened?”

“It’s…” Jason doesn’t want to tell her. For the first time, he now realized how Katie must have felt all those times she’d come running to him, even when she’d been with others. “It’s nothing, don’t worry, alright? I just have to get to work.”

Camryn assumes he’s forgotten something at TJY or perhaps his phone had been on vibrate and he’d received a call, not made one. She understood his responsibilities and nods. “Okay. Call me later?”

“Yeah.” Jason leans down to give her a kiss, then makes his way quickly out of the restaurant. Getting to his truck, he takes a moment to think. Now what? He wasn’t Katie. He didn’t know where she was like she always knew where he was. He just felt…a disturbance. He couldn’t explain it any other way.

It takes him just ten minutes to make it to TJY, and he half runs, half limps inside, hoping Rick was still there. He’s in luck. Finding the light on in the infirmary, he burst inside.

Rick looks up from his paperwork in surprise. “Jason! What’s wrong?”

“I need to find Katie.”

“Well she’s not here…”

“I know…I…it’s…”

“Slow down.” Rick gets up from his desk and moves closer. “What happened?”

“I don’t know.” Jason throws up his arms in frustration. “Something’s wrong. That’s all I know. Katie’s hurt.”

“Hurt?”

“Yes.”

“And you don’t know where she is?”

“No. I think she and Scott were going out tonight. I called both of them and got no answers.”

“And you came here because…”

Jason sighs. “I don’t know. You’re the first person I thought of. I need your help.”

“Well do you want to go look for her?”

Jason nods. He couldn’t think of anything else. He felt ridiculous, but what else was he supposed to do?


“…Okay, so she’s not at home.” Rick hangs up his own cell phone as he rides with Jason across town. “And we drove by Scott’s, and no one is there. So…where would they have gone out?”

“I have no idea.” Jason’s eyes rove the surroundings as he drives aimlessly.

“So you can’t actually feel her.”

“No.”

“And you can’t find her like she…”

“No!” Jason slams as hand on the steering wheel. “I’ve told you it doesn’t work that way. She can tell you where I am at almost any given time, but it’s a one way street!”

“Alright, alright, calm down.” Rick frowns as several raindrops splatter on the windshield. “Try to concentrate…you apparently knew something was wrong. Try to draw on that. What does it tell you?”

Jason tries to concentrate while he drives. He recalls the feeling, tries to pinpoint it. “It was drawing out emotions like always. But not just in a general sense. It like…pinpointed panic and drew that out specifically.”

As he speaks, the feeling of the emotional pull seems to shift slightly, getting almost fainter. He slams on the brakes, almost sending Rick through the windshield.

Rick braces his hands on the dashboard and looks to Jason with surprise. “What is it?”

“I’m going the wrong way.” The realization hits Jason hard and he spins the truck around, doing a u-turn in the middle of the street. Gunning it, he squeals back the other direction. “Help me out here…what restaurants are down here?”

“Um…” Rick tries to think “Pizza Box…that bar and grill…LaTife’s Steakhouse…”

Jason turns on the windshield wipers as his mind works overtime. Going several blocks, he feels the shift again, and again, the pull growing ever-so-slightly fainter. Again, he slams on the breaks and spins around.

“Would you make up your mind?” Rick asks in annoyance, finally having sense enough to put on his seatbelt.

“I’m trying, okay?! I need to make a left or right turn.”

“Well if you go left, you’re heading out of town. If Scott and Katie stayed in town, you better go right.”

Jason takes his advice and after just a couple blocks, he takes a right turn. The pull grew slightly stronger. “Okay…we’re going the right way. Keep naming restaurants.”

It takes another fifteen minutes, several stops, turns, u-turns, backtracks and five more minutes before Jason is heading down a back street behind a family diner.

“There!” Rick points. “Katie’s car!”

Relief hits Jason. But his feeling that something is wrong persists. Stopping the truck in the middle of the road, he glances around. Suddenly he spots a form on the side of the street and his heart leaps into his throat. “Oh, no.” Barely taking the time to throw the truck in park, he’s out into the rain, sprinting for the lifeless body.

“Jason!” Rick is right behind him, worried, but taking more caution.

Jason skids to a stop, sliding down next to Katie. “Katie…” He pushes her hair out of her face, feeling sick as he sees the blood on the ground. Putting his fingers to her neck he finds a weak pulse. “Katie, can you hear me?”

“Jason, don’t move her.” Rick already has his phone out and is dialing 911. “Yes, we have an emergency. I need an ambulance right away at the corner of…” he squints at he street signs. “Seventh and Pearson. Behind Daisy’s Diner.”

Jason’s emotions want to explode, and he can feel his chest tighten as he tries to keep them back.

Rick’s off the phone in a matter of seconds, and knees down by Katie, starting to check her over. “Get her head off the ground,” he directs, but move her carefully. There may be spine damage.”

Jason does as he’s told, situating himself so Katie’s head is in his lap. “What happened?”

“It looks like she got hit by a car.” Rick tries to maintain his composure, while his insides were screaming at him in terror at seeing Katie like this. All they could do now was wait for the ambulance to arrive.

Jason strokes Katie's head, desperate to stay calm. "Come on, Hero," he whispers. "Hang in there...you can't leave me, you know that."