Torn

As Katie comes and goes the first time, Jason isn't even sure what's happening. When she comes back, his eyes can just make out a form lowering down next to him with an outstretched hand toward him, the spoken words not quite registering.

Fear still clinging to him, he lashes out to grab Katie's wrist, his fingers in a locked hold, fighting her for just a moment. Bringing her face into focus through the dim nightlight though, he quickly lets go, dazed and confused. Sensing the candy being offered, something in his subconscious finally makes it through to signal himself that he needed it. The form was Katie, and she was helping him not hurting him. Taking a bite, he leans his head back against the bed, totally exhausted. But the sugar takes effect almost immediately, heightening his senses and bringing him further into a state of alertness. He tries to get up but gives up, simply stretching his legs out in front of him and staying beside the bed. A muttered statement slips out under his breath, more depressed than upset. "I told you not to come in here...you shoulda just left me alone." Daring to turn his head, he catches Katie's eye with a stare that is hollow...it lacks the life that was there just days before...there was no hope in his gaze, only a dark hole that was swallowing up his life.

He knows that his actions and words towards her have been less than what a friend should do, but he doesn't want to feel anymore pain....feeling numb is easier...it hurt less.
And yet...his heart cried out for help. He was trying to overcome all of these obstacles that were tumbling in front of him at once, and he was failing.

As he looks at Katie, the nightlight catches his attention and for a brief moment, he's sucked back into a world apart from reality, into that dark room with a small light his only comfort. Shuddering, Jason doesn't want to even admit how severely this problem has returned for even these little things to trigger those horrid memories. Fear and anger creep into his veins as the realization comes to light that it is worse than it was before.

His emotions start to slip. He'd worked hard all day at building up that wall and had succeeded with the final touches only hours before. But nothing affected him like these flashbacks and nightmares. They were like weapons of war that could destroy anything in its path, his heart and mind left vulnerable and open on the battle field. And nothing threatened his own barricade like Katie's presence did.

The raw emotions pool behind Jason's eyes, and he draws his legs up to his chest in an act of nervous security, half of him wanting Katie just to leave him be in his misery and half of him feeling as a child not wanting to be left alone in the dark. The night no longer held comforting rest...it loomed in front of him like a dark cave with unknown dangers lurking inside. If he slept, he would suffer.