Beast

Mick's fingers tighten around Rosetta's as BJ prays, silently communicating his love. He felt lower than the floor... but he had to keep going.

Once supper starts, Mick tries to keep up conversation with BJ, hearing about the day, and forcing himself to smile and keep his tone light. Afterward, the missed checkers game is played until finally it's BJ's bed time.

After Mick has the little boy tucked in bed and on his way to sleep, he resumes his place in the living room, sinking down on the couch next to Rosetta. Leaning back, he just stares at the ceiling for a while, remaining silent.

Eventually, he puts his arm around Rosetta, pulling her sideways into his lap so he can hug her close.

"I lost control," he finally admit quietly. "I just... completely lost control." He sighs deeply, resting his head against hers as he tries to form the words. "Dylan is missing... and Jill has innocently been convinced by the authorities to keep me out of it. When I went to the station, they wouldn't give me any information at all until one guy finally talked a little. They're pretty sure Dylan's been taken - that he didn't just run off like he's done before."

Mick stops to swallow hard, his eyes closed now. "I can feel it in my gut that it's the Agency. I don't know why or how but... I feel it. And the police wouldn't listen. I pressed my luck and they threw me out of the station. On my way out of town I... I just wanted..." He sighs again. "I don't know what I wanted. But the bar was right there and... I gave in."

Nuzzling his head into Rosetta's shoulder, he's quiet again for several moments. "It's all come back... all of it. I've been dry for almost a year... and I just ruined it in one fell swoop."

Lifting his head, he looks her in the eye, just studying her gaze. "I already want to go back... but I had Wes hide my keys earlier. I just... I just want to fix things... and I don't know how, and I don't know how to cope. I've got to find Dylan... and now I can't even think straight, this beast has such a tight hold on me."